Chapter 17: A Breakthrough

(Lexi)

I dug my hands into his fur and hunched over his churning shoulder blades as we flew through the forest.

It was unlike anything I'd ever experienced before and I tried to compare it with things in my head but failed to come up with comparisons that likened riding on Brady's back through the woods. The late summer sprinkles of rain hit my face as he darted through the woods, sailing dangerously close to trees and rock faces. I was scared at first that we'd hit them and I'd be transformed into a human pancake, but at the last second before careening into something Brady's wolf form would dart to the side and avoid it. It was exhilarating.

"Holy shit," I laughed, shaking my head. He kept running at top speed (or what I assumed was his top speed) and I held on as tight as my arms would allow. The leaves on the trees and soft ferns whipped by occasionally, touching my leg or arms as we flew through the dark forest and I couldn't help but laugh. This was amazing.

I suddenly yelped as Brady slid to an almost immediate halt, his muddy paws no longer sinking into the landscape. We were on something hard. I looked up from his shoulders and loosened my grip as he lowered himself back down onto his stomach. I slid off and realized we were on a cliff overlooking the ocean. The salt water smell mixed with the light rain and fog, coating my skin in a grimy mixture. I didn't mind it though; it felt weirdly nice. I felt positively wild and free and just unhinged in the best way. A little rain and dirt didn't bother me for once.

I didn't have shoes on, but that didn't matter. My tattered, damp yoga pants stuck to my heels as I stepped off his back and onto the hard ground below. He rose to his feet and only caught my eye as he began to blur around the edges.

"Brady?!" I began to panic, thinking something was horribly wrong until I realized he was transitioning from wolf to human form. He rose up on two legs instead of four and flashed a perfect white grin at me.

"Wow," I said suddenly, grinning back. It was pretty dark, but he still cupped his hands over his privates and gave me a bashful look.

"So what did you think?"

I snorted. "It's the only way to travel. Nice trick though. Got any more?"

Brady rolled his eyes and eyed my hoodie. "Care if I borrow that? I forgot my pants in the bushes at your house."

"You're lucky it's so warm out," I grumbled, shrugging out of it. I handed it to him and wrinkled my nose as he tied it around his waist with a grimace.

"It'll do. Just didn't think you wanted me walking around with my junk hanging out."

"No," I laughed, wrinkling my nose. "It's fine, really. Just...keep it. I'm just surprised that you are bashful, considering what a man-whore you were."

Brady chuckled and arranged my thin sweatshirt over his nether regions before turning and taking my hand. "Come on, the view is great up here."

"Where are we?" I asked, looking around. I rubbed my pebbled arms – the ocean air was slightly chillier than the dark forest, and I knew it wouldn't be long until I was freezing.

"La Push. The Cliffs. We come here a lot."

"For what?"

He gave me a cocky grin before gazing out to the dark water. "Swimming. Diving. You know the works."

"You dive from up here? No shit."

He shrugged. "It's hard to find something that gives you a rush when you're practically indestructible."

I snorted. "Cocky are we?"

Brady shook his head and stood beside me. "No, it's true. I can break bones, survive big falls, cuts heal in minutes, and I can even take a bullet. Wolves heal extra fast because of our genes."

"A bullet?" I asked skeptically, "Now you're just showing off and running your damn mouth."

"Swear," he promised. I gazed out at the dark ocean with the angry waves and shuddered. Inching my way to the edge of the cliff, I dared a look down and almost barfed. It was so high. Brady's hand suddenly shot out and caught my arm.

"Easy there. I'm indestructible, not you."

"Would you catch me if I fell?" I asked, inching forward again. "Would you rescue me?" I laughed. "It's from 'Pretty Woman', I duno..."

He rolled his eyes in the darkness and gently yanked me back from the edge. "Yes, but I'd like to not take a dip in the freezing cold ocean. I'd be fine but you would be less than toasty."

I inched closer to his bare arm, realizing what he meant. Even in the chilly night air and ocean breeze, Brady was positively roasting. He was always warm, but I'd never put much thought into it before. I just thought he was hot physically and figuratively.

"You're warm," I said, leaning against him. I molded effortlessly against his side as we stared into the darkness. I'm sure he could see a thousand times better than I could and appreciate the view, but I didn't care. Being out here on the cliffs in the late summer air was pretty, and I didn't want to complain.

"See that?"

"See what?"

He sighed. "I duno...we just like...fit."

"You're not so smooth wearing my hoodie as a sarong, are ya?"

Brady rolled his eyes at me and lightly elbowed my side. I feigned hurt and shook my head.

"Fit or no fit...or imprint or whatever...I'm still mad at you."

He stared at my profile and shrugged. He got really quiet for a moment and the only sound was the faint echoes of the waves below hitting the rocky cliff.

"So? You're always mad at me, Lex."

I looked at him sideways and frowned. "Since when can you call me Lex?"

Brady snorted and kicked at the rough ground with his foot as he tried not to smile. "Well, you're already mad at me. What difference does it make?"

"Fine," I laughed, shaking my head. "Why do you fly off the handle like that?" I asked him seriously.

He swallowed, leaning more weight on me and resting his head on mine. "Because I'm an asshole."

"We've been over that."

"I'm sorry. Is that worth anything to you?" he whispered.

"Yes. Sorry helps – but it doesn't fix it or take away the hurt."

"I know," he admitted.

"It...it weirdly like...hurts when you freak out like that. When you fly off the handle and become someone else, it really hurts me and don't blame the wolf thing, Brady, I know that's crap."

He snorted. "So you've known my wolfy secret for a whole week now and you think you know everything?"

"Well, correct me if I'm wrong—"

"You're not wrong! Okay? You're not. That's why I'm angry," he chuckled bitterly, shaking his head. He looked down at me and sighed. "I don't want to hurt you. I need you."

"Why?" I challenged. "And don't say because of that 'imprint' thing. Wolfy shit aside, why do you need me so much?"

His dark eyes scanned my face as we stood there, face to face on the side of the seaside cliff. Finally, he looked down and shook his head slightly. "Because you see me, Lexi. More than anyone ever has."

I didn't have time to answer. His lips were against mine and he was kissing me and just – oh. I couldn't argue with his mouth on mine, his tongue probing between my lips and curling against my tongue and...

I pushed him away and shook my head. "I see you, huh?"

He grinned and nodded, kissing me again. I kissed him back, my stomach in pleasant knots and my weight shifting up to stand on the balls of my feet to just get closer. He groaned against my mouth and I felt his hands at my waist. I didn't even realize he was on the ground until my weight shifted, and I ended up straddling him completely. Our kisses grew deeper and deeper until his hands started digging into my skin and he was shifting his pelvis up against my hips. I sighed into his lips and didn't even realize I was grinding against his lap until I felt how hard he was.

Shit.

My eyes flew open and I sat up quickly, wiping off my mouth and hopping off of him. My stomach was all in weird butterflies, and I wasn't sure if it was adrenaline or need or just...it felt weird. Different weird. Good different weird. I shook my head and stared out at the ocean as he stood up and made his way over to me.

"I'm gonna...assume I did something wrong?"

"No," I snapped quietly, refusing to look at him. "I just...think we should stop."

I saw him shake his head in the corner of my eye. "You take that whole 'virgin' thing pretty seriously then?"

And there we were again. Rage boiled up inside of me until I couldn't even see straight. "Why yes, man-slut extraordinaire, I do. I'm a virgin and proud of it."

"Prude," he jabbed.

"I prefer the term 'selective', but fine."

"I'm only giving you shit about it. That's nice."

I had to laugh. "Nice? My virginity is 'nice'? Smooth, Brady, real smooth."

He rolled his eyes and bumped his shoulders against mine in the darkness. "Okay, I put my foot in my mouth, give me a break."

"Just try not to be such an ass about it. I'm not sorry I'm a virgin. Virgins are...cool," I insisted, sticking my chin in the air.

"But you're seriously a senior in high school and you've never..."

"Um, no, not even close," I admitted with a little laugh. "I mean...earlier this year my dad and Patrick gave me this big long speech about how important it was to not give into the pressures of other kids and society and whatnot, and I just remember thinking...'I'd have to get off the couch first if I was ever going to have sex'," I laughed nervously.

"What do you mean? You never wanted to?"

"No, not particularly. Most of my nights back in California were hanging out with my parents and my little brothers. I wasn't one of those...those cool kids, ya know? Like the kids in the jean commercials who are always going to some epic party with all these other beautiful people?"

"I guess I know what you mean, yeah."

"Well, that was never me. I never did that, even back home in Cali. There were this group of really 'cool' kids that always went out and partied and drank and they all looked like they were twenty five, I swear. I always looked at them and wondered what that would be like, but...I mean...I had friends and all, but...we'd like go see a PG-13 movie and sneak our drug store candy in. That was our big thrill. I never went out and drank or partied or did anything bad. I spent most nights doing extra credit or watching 'I Love Lucy' marathons with my dad. If I stayed up until three in the morning, it was because I was in my pajamas looking up like...cat videos on YouTube or playing around on Tumblr. It's just...the situation never presented itself."

And it hadn't. While the kids around me looked like supermodels that spent weekends 'clubbing' and hooking up and partying...I never did any of that. My parents had rules about who I hung out with and what time I was to be home, and I didn't even have a curfew. I would have had to have gone somewhere to even need one in the first place.

"I could have used a bit more of that," he hummed softly. "Not that whole cat videos on YouTube thing, but I could have used a mom and dad who actually gave a shit what time I came home."

"Your mom seems like she cares a lot about you. I've...I've never met your dad."

"You don't' want to, I promise," he said quickly, shaking his head. "If you think I'm an asshole, well...I got my pointers from him growing up, we'll leave it at that."

"Bad, huh?"

"I'd rather not talk about it. Let's talk more about you."

I laughed and stared out at the dark waves. "More about how lame I am? Sure. I'm super cool."

"No, you are. Don't let anyone ever tell you you're not. Especially not from an asshole like me. You're perfect, Lex. Just the way you are."

"Right. Well...virgin and all?"

He sighed. "If I could take it all back and be one again, I would. In a heartbeat."

"Why?"

He shrugged. "Well...I guess I just thought it was cool to go out and just...be a dog. But looking back, it...it wasn't. I used sex as a way to get attention. And I guess in a weird way...affection."

As uncomfortable as our little conversation was, I was confused. "Well aren't...sex and affection kinda one and the same?"

He raised an eyebrow at me in the dim light. "Um...no. Not always. I mean if it is, I don't...no," he chuckled awkwardly. "What I did with those girls wasn't affection."

I shuddered slightly as his voice changed. It was quieter; raspier. Full of shame. "It's alright," I said, reaching out to touch his shoulder. He seemed to lean into my touch, his dark eyes a little sad. "It's not a big deal. Your number doesn't define you."

He gave me a sad look. "Good. Don't ever be sorry for being who you are, Lexi. You're amazing. I'm sorry I brought this whole thing up."

I shrugged. "It's alright. You wanna head back?"

Brady nodded. He handed me back my hoodie with a smirk, laughing when I hurriedly turned back around to avoid looking at him naked. He stepped back and phased again, and it took me another two or three minutes of staring and petting and smiling at his wolfy self before I remembered to climb on his back and hold on tight. We flew through the woods a little slower this time, both of us a little unwilling to completely say goodnight.

When he dropped me off at the back door again, I pulled on my hoodie and tried not to look down after he phased back.

"This is it then. Can we hang out tomorrow?"

I wrinkled my nose and shrugged. "I mean...I've kinda got homework to do and stuff."

His shoulders visibly slumped as he placed himself strategically behind a planter to cover his nether regions. I felt the permanent blush I'd been sporting quietly receding as he was finally covered. I was no prude, but it was just weird being around a six foot something, muscled older guy in the buff.

"That's alright. Can I at least text you?" he asked hopefully.

I sighed. "I guess."

Brady held up his hands and feigned hurt. "Don't do me any favors then."

"You can text me. You gave me a ride on your back and that was awesome, so yes you can text me."

He smirked. "Fine. Am I forgiven then?"

I crossed my arms as the nighttime air continued to grow chillier and chillier. "No. I'm not that easy."

Brady shifted on his feet and rolled his eyes at me. "I guess you wouldn't be you if you were." He looked at me sternly and made me stop in my tracks. "On a serious note though...you can't tell Regan about all this."

"Doesn't she know? Isn't Seth...?"

I hadn't mentioned anything to Claire or Regan about Brady and his wolfy-ness just in case; I wasn't sure exactly what the etiquette was when it came to things like that. Was it alright to talk about or not? I wasn't sure, so I'd kept quiet about it. Brady shook his head.

"He is, but...that's his secret to tell her. We can't say anything to her about it alright?"

"Fine. Fair enough. I wouldn't tell—"

"I didn't think you would," he said gently, "but I had to at least say something. Jake would want me to."

"What does Jake have to do with it?"

Brady crossed his arms tighter and shrugged. "He's the Alpha. Every pack has one, and he's ours. Keeping the secret is really important to him. It should be, but whatever. I just needed to tell you about Seth and Regan."

"So he's her best friend and she has no idea?"

Brady laughed. "There's no rule book on how to tell people what you are. There's no instruction manual with a step by step plan. You just have to figure it out as you go, I guess. Seth is still...trying to figure it out."

"I guess it did take you awhile to tell me," I sighed.

"Exactly. Everyone is different. He's just taking his time. Although it would be easier for him to just come out and tell her—"

"Why?" I asked. "Why does she have to know?"

Brady looked at me squarely as his dark eyes burned into mine. "Lex, it's never fun or easy to lie to the people closest to you. The people that care...I mean, no one likes to avoid telling the truth."

I nodded and looked at my feet. "I guess you're right. I'm glad you told me. That can't be an easy thing to live with."

"No," he snorted, "it's certainly not. So...just don't tell Regan yet, alright? Seth is going to figure out a way to tell her soon."

"Okay," I said simply, nodding. "I promise."

"Thanks." Brady looked up in surprise, his face going a little slack before I could realize what was happening. I turned around and saw Patrick approaching the basement sliding glass door with a frown on his face as he spotted me. Shit! I looked to where Brady was standing only to see he had vanished. I looked around the darkened backyard in question, completely thrown off as Patrick slid the door open.

"Lexi?"

"Yeah," I breathed, turning around. I gave him my best smile and waited to see if I was busted or not.

"What are you doing out here, honey?"

I glanced back into the woods at the edge of the lawn and shrugged. "Just...getting some air."

Thank you to NinkyBaby for beta-ing!

Hope you guys enjoyed this one - I wasn't originally going to show this much of Lexi and Brady's 'human' relationship, but many of you commented that you wanted to see that before her change. The next few chapters will detail their human time together and I hope you enjoy them.

Up Next: More Freaky Fred, Leah's wedding, and some of Lexi's final human milestones: )

Thanks for reading!