I need a saving grace
A hiding place
I don't have forever or time to waste
So don't let me be lonely
Well there's nothing to hide and nothing to prove
Give me all that you are
You've got nothing to lose
Just don't let me be lonely

Don't Let Me Be Lonely - The Band Perry

Chapter 20

Lexi

Brady kept his word after my outburst – he was nice to me.

Very nice.

This was my first, honest to goodness date. The first time I'd sat across from a boy wearing a button up shirt, I wasn't with a group of friends, and my mom and dad weren't secretly sitting on the other side of the restaurant 'just in case'. Brady even looked fidgety sitting across the table from me, his dark eyes going between nervous and smoldering.

No, this was a real date. He didn't get upset when I hadn't decided what I wanted when the waiter came, and he even gave me a sultry smile when he offered some of his food from his plate for me to sample. Off of his fork. It was strange really – I'd had his tongue in my mouth, but the idea of sharing a fork was ten times as intimate to me. What did that mean?

He sipped his water and frowned. "Are you alright?"

I looked up in surprise and nodded. "Yeah, why?"

"You're quiet."

Damn it, he'd caught me. "I um... I just don't know what to talk about I guess. I don't want to sound... weird. Is that dumb?"

He gave me a weird look. "You've never worried about talking to me before. Most of the time you can't shut up."

We both cracked a smile at that.

"I guess you're right," I smirked, taking a sip of my water. It cooled my throat and nerves, instantly making me settle down a bit. This was after all, just Brady. I glanced up at him as he gave me a slightly nervous, reassuring smile from the other side of the booth. He had the uncanny ability to make me feel both nervous and like I was with an old friend all at the same time. He calmed me but also excited me. The confusing dichotomy was always a part of my pull to him.

"I'm glad you asked me out," I blurted out. Shit.

His dark eyebrows shot up. "You are? I thought you still wanted to punch me for sending you flowers."

I laughed at his confession. "I still kinda do. I always kinda want to punch you Brady. But... sometimes less than others."

"Like right now? Do you want to punch me right now?"

I shook my head and twisted my napkin in my lap. "No."

He leaned back against the back of the booth and grinned. "Well good."

"This is a nice date," I admitted, looking around the restaurant. "What made you not like this place? You take a lot of other girls here?"

His smile faded a little. "Maybe."

"Ah," I hummed, my stomach clenching a little. The idea of Brady coming here with another girl made me strangely... jealous.

"We don't have to talk about this," he groaned, sipping his water. "In a small town we're limited on places to go. You realize that, right?"

"Of course. I'm just giving you shit," I laughed.

His shoulders shook with a quiet laugh as he looked up at me again, twisting his straw in the ice that remained in his glass. "So you don't feel weird being here with such an old man?"

"No," I shrugged. "I mean... I'm a little mature for my age and you're a little immature for your age, so I think we even out. We're only eight years apart. My mom and dad were almost ten."

"My parents are six years apart. My dad said he got some dirty looks when he dated her."

"How old were they? Um, when they started dating."

"Eighteen, almost nineteen and twenty four. But it wasn't from a lack of trying – my mom said dad had a crush on her ever since she was sixteen, but her father wouldn't let her out of the house."

I giggled. "Sounds about right."

"Yeah, well... he knew he wanted to marry her when he met her. She used to work at a grocery store up in Makah, and he would go in there all the time when he was working up there. He used to do construction, just like me. But only in the summers though. He would come back every summer to do work in her town and see her grow up. He had to leave in the fall to go back to college, but every summer he would go back to Makah and check up on her."

I watched as he affectionately spoke of his mother, his brown eyes focusing on the table as he talked. He had a special place for her – he was clearly a mama's boy, but I didn't' mind at all. It was one of the rare times I'd seen him talk so openly about his own life instead of badgering me for answers about my own.

"Finally, the summer she was about to turn nineteen... she told her dad she could do what she wanted. One day my dad came into the store and asked her out and she finally said yes. Or she said 'screw it', I'm not sure. He had just graduated with an architect's degree, and they got married the next summer."

"That's sweet," I sighed.

Brady shot me a dark look. "It used to be, sure."

"What do you mean?"

He straightened up, clamping his lips together. "I don't—"

I heaved a sigh and gave him an exasperated look. "So it's alright to talk about my screwed up family life but not yours? I've told you about my parents' divorce, my dad cheating on my mom with another guy, and then what it's like to have two dads and the whole town talking about it. Did I mention that all four of my grandparents disowned him for what he did? Well then... yeah, they did."

Brady's eyebrows rose again, but he remained quiet for a moment before finally speaking. "My dad... doesn't' know about what I do, for starters. And never will," he sighed. "I think he thinks all the legends are just stories. I mean... it's a gene, right?"

"Is it?" I asked, leaning forward. As irritated as I was that he was avoiding speaking about his family, my curiosity was instantly piqued as he began speaking of his shape shifting magic.

He nodded. "Well... There are a lot of theories, but I think everyone has it. There are a lot of stories about it or whatever, but I know he had the gene. He never shifted though, but I know he does. He's like me – fiery, hot-tempered, built. He just never changed I guess."

I frowned. "So if he's so much like you... why didn't he ever turn into..." I trailed off, not wanting to say what I was thinking out loud in a public place.

Brady gave me another look of trepidation, twisting his hands in his lap. The waiter walked up soon after, delivering our food and leaving us alone again. I ignored the tempting smells of my pasta dish and watched Brady unfold his napkin and place it on his lap.

"We'll get to that later."

The finality in his tone made me close my mouth and lean back in my chair. He looked up and noticed my change in demeanor, his eyes softening. "I... I'm sorry. I just don't want to worry you with all the details right now. This is our first date, and we're supposed to be having fun... not talking about my fucked up heritage."

Brady didn't seem like he wanted to talk about our current topic anymore, but I couldn't help but still wonder about so many things. How did he know he was a wolf? Could he really stop it, and retire? What was it like to not age? I realized that if he kept phasing he could actually live forever. The idea both intrigued and haunted me. What would it be like to have that looming over you? I had so many questions that he frustratingly didn't seem to want to answer.

I picked up my fork and frowned. "I don't think its 'fucked up', as you said," I said quietly. "I think it's interesting. It's magic. How can that not be exciting to you? There are billions of people on this earth, and you're one of the few that get to be different and special. I mean... I guess I don't get why you think that's not interesting to talk about. I'm just curious," I huffed, shaking my head at him.

He sighed and put his fork down. "Tell you what... some other night I'll go into great detail about everything you want to know. Every ugly detail," he added with a strange look. "Only because if we're going to do this... then... I want to be honest with you. I want you to know everything."

"Do what?"

He frowned slightly before giving me a confused smile. "Um... well... er, this. You and me."

My cheeks warmed slightly as I twirled my fork in my pasta. "You and me, huh?"

He nodded. "So... but you're not worried about our ages? I mean... the more time goes by, the less weird it will be."

I snorted. "You're pretty confident this is all going to work out between us. I've never even been on a date before, Brady."

I was greeted with a cocky smile. "I have a feeling it will work out."

I gave him a skeptical look as I chewed, the buttery Alfredo sauce melting on my tongue. "Seriously? With how much we fight? We're lucky if we go a day without one of us threatening to tear the other's head off in a fit of rage. Which you wouldn't do, right?"

His grin faded. "You know I could never hurt you, right?"

I nodded. Somehow I did. "I guess I do. Just... warn me if you get to that point. I've heard nothing good about werewolf temper tantrums."

He smiled but then looked away, his gaze suddenly serious again. "You're very right about that. But... no matter how angry I get or how stupid I'm being, I would never accidently... change," he said quietly, "and hurt you. I couldn't do that, and I'm very practiced with it. It could happen to a newer wolf but not me."

I nodded. "So watch the newbies, eh?"

He shook his head and speared a piece of pasta on his plate. "I wouldn't let any of them near you anyway. I... I know I give you a hard time and joke a lot, but... um... you're very precious to me," he stated awkwardly, staring down at the table. His dark eyes flashed up to mine before his face reddened, and he looked away again. "I wouldn't ever take the chance of one of them having an accident and doing that."

I felt my stomach twist at his words, my hands shaking a little. He'd never said anything so sweet and kind to me before. "You mean that?"

He nodded still looking down at his food. "Yeah. I mean... you're my imprint. If one of them hurt you, it's my right to beat the life out of them," he muttered. He sighed and leaned back against the booth. "Great first date conversation, by the way."

"Yeah," I breathed, shaking my head. "But... back to this whole... thing. How are you so sure this will work out? How do you know I don't want to date other people?"

A look of fleeting panic crossed his face. "Well... do you?"

"I don't know," I answered honestly.

And I didn't. As much as I liked Brady and felt an insane attraction to him, I didn't know if that was normal or... or what he was talking about - imprint magic. He'd referenced the pull we felt to each other several times; while I did feel it, I had nothing to reference or compare it to. I'd had crushed back in California and had certainly liked boys before, however, none of them had ever reciprocated my feelings. How did I know what I felt when I was with Brady wasn't just a normal thing to feel?

"What are you thinking?" he asked quietly.

I finished chewing and swallowed, shrugging. "I just... this is all new to me. I've never dated before, and I don't... I mean nothing against you... I just don't know how to feel, I guess. I feel the... the pull or whatever, but I have nothing to compare it to."

He smirked and took another bite of pasta. "You wanna go out on a date with another guy? Be my guest Lex, I mean... I won't hold you back. You're eighteen, so..."

I could tell he was bluffing before I even looked up. I crossed my arms and gave him a skeptical glare. "If I went on a date with another guy, you'd follow us the entire time and probably wait until he left my doorstep before cornering him with your werewolf posse. You'd scare the pants off of him and make him swear up and down to never so much as breathe in my direction again unless he wants to go through life sterile. Did I guess that one correctly?"

Brady gave me a smoldering smile, cocking his head to the side as he flashed his white teeth at me. "You know me so well, baby," he cooed.

I snorted and couldn't hide my giggle. "It's okay. I don't have any other dates planned for the moment, so you're in the clear. No need to wrangle up an intimidation posse just yet."

"Good, we're super booked this week anyhow. I hear some guy has been asking Claire to go Homecoming with her."

"He has. He's in our lab, a very strapping young fellow."

"Oh?"

I nodded. Some football player had been after Claire for weeks, asking to be her lab partner, trying to walk her to her locker after classes. The tall, gangly blonde kid didn't stand a chance against Quil though; not that it mattered. Claire was too completely wrapped up in Quil to even notice she was being flirted with. She brushed him off every chance she got, ignoring his advances and flirtatious looks.

"Yeah, but... I think she's got a thing for brunettes. Tan brunettes. Big. Muscles... older... you know," I laughed.

Brady rolled his eyes. "Boy, do I ever."

I shook my head. "Quil's got nothing to worry about. I know she really likes him. I'm not even sure if she realizes he was after her until he asked her to homecoming."

"What's she gonna do for a date?" Brady asked.

"Um... we're just gonna go stag. Like Prom," I admitted. I looked up to notice Brady's somber gaze as he watched me across the table.

He nodded. "You know... I know you're eighteen and it's fine for us to date or whatever, but I'd get kicked out of a high school homecoming faster than anything, you know that right?"

"Yes," I answered honestly, looking down at my plate. He was quiet for a moment. It wasn't like I hadn't thought about it and even considered asking Brady to go to the dance with me. While it was stupid, and cheesy, and totally high school... I couldn't name a single person I'd rather share the experience with. I couldn't deny that it hurt a little that he could never go to things like that with me.

"I'd take you if I could. I mean... Seth and Quil face the same dilemma. They want to go, just like I do. I saw their thoughts at your prom last spring and..."

I shrugged. "It's okay. I mean... going stag is fine. I can hang out with Regan and Claire. Like you said, they're... they're in the same boat, so it's all good. We dance together, and when they play a slow song, we just like... grab some punch or take silly pictures."

Brady shifted in the booth and looked down at his food. He twisted his napkin in his lap and finally looked up at me. "I'm sorry."

"For what?"

He paused. "If you... if we decide to do this then... I mean there are a lot of drawbacks to it. I don't want to lie to you, Lexi. Dating someone like me... being with someone like me is never easy, but I know from what my brothers have experienced that it's... if you give it a chance, it's worth it. But... I wouldn't blame you one bit if you ran for the hills."

I watched his face turn sad, his normally cocky features sinking. It was true what he was saying; there were drawbacks. But there were also perks.

"I guess, I see what you're saying. Is that why… is that why when I refused to date you at the end of summer you just..."

"Left it alone for a few weeks? Yeah. I wanted to give you time to decide on your own without me hounding you... which I was definitely doing. I wanted it to be your choice to pursue this, Lex. Because there are a lot of things I won't be able to give you because of what I am."

I nodded, stabbing another glob of pasta. Instead of eating it, I twirled it around my plate as I contemplated his words. Sure he was a moody, unpredictable shape shifter, but didn't he also see the appeal?

"I suppose... but there are a lot of good things to dating you, Brady. I mean, if we decide to do this, there are a lot of good things from what you've said about this whole 'soul mates' deal. Besides," I laughed, "how many other girls can say that they ride their boyfriend?"

There was a pregnant pause between us as his brown eyes went wide. I cocked my head and looked at him. "What?"

As soon as the words were out of my mouth, I realized they had a double meaning. I burst out laughing at the same time he did, my cheeks flaring pink. "Oh my Lord..."

Brady chuckled loudly, earning us a few stares from the people around us as I slumped down in the booth and tried to hide my face. I was an idiot sometimes.

"I can't believe I said that. What... I mean to say that their boyfriends could give them rides... Oh my... I'm just going to stop talking now," I muttered.

Brady shook his head, his laughter still ringing in the small area. "Oh my God, Lex, that's why I love you. You're so you sometimes that it's hysterical. Shit, I haven't laughed like this in years," he snorted, wiping a tear from the corner of his eye.

I pretended to ignore his words as I took another frustrated bite of pasta. Wait, did he just say he loved me? I scanned through his words in my mind, my memory confirming it. He had just definitely said he loved me. Looking up as I chewed, I surmised he didn't realize what he'd said. He just took another bite of his food as his giggles subsided.

"I'm gonna... excuse me," I mumbled. "Where's the bathroom?"

He snickered and pointed to the back of the restaurant. Imaginary tail between my legs, I scurried off to the restroom to get away and recover for a second. I pushed through the door, sighing as the cool air of the empty bathroom hit my face. I used the restroom and washed my hands, staring at my red face in the mirror. Splashing a little cold water on my cheeks helped slightly, but I could still see them burning in the long pane of mirrors over the sinks. The door opened behind me, a girl a little older than me walking in. She watched me in the mirror as she walked over to the sink beside mine. I caught her gaze in the reflection and offered her a little smile. She washed her hands as I shakily reached into my purse and reapplied my Cherry Chapstick in the mirror. I turned to leave when she spoke.

"Are you here with that guy from La Push?" she asked suddenly. I stopped, meeting her gaze in the reflection for a second time. She was a little older than me, but not by a lot. Her dark brown hair was shiny in the bathroom light, her low cut top showcasing a chest I was instantly envious of. Her blue eyes watched me as I tossed the paper towel in my hands into the trash.

"What?"

"That guy you're here with. The one that was laughing. Is he your date?"

I felt my stomach sink a little as I took in her suddenly unfriendly gaze. "Um... yeah. We're here on a date," I stammered, chewing my lower lip. The skin pinched between my teeth as she stared at me. "Why?"

She gave me a smirk in the mirror. "Let's just say I've known Brady for a while now. Trust me," she said, shaking her head, "he's not worth whatever lies he's telling you."

I frowned. "I'm sorry... what?"

She turned around and leaned against the sink, crossing her arms over her chest. "I've been with him before. Trust me. He's saying the same things to you that he's said to a million other girls."

"How do you—"

"I just know. He's got a silver tongue, and you'll believe anything he says. I did."

"What?"

She gave me a coy smile. "He toyed with me for three months last year before I finally wised up. Asshole couldn't even remember my name after I let him into my pants."

Her stark words internally crushed me. Brady had slept with this girl that was standing five feet from me. He'd been intimate with this... supermodel looking girl, and he hadn't even remembered her name. I was flabbergasted.

"I'm only saying this to you because you seem young. Not like all the other girls he goes after. I know if he did to me what he's about to do to you, and I was your age, I'd want someone to tell me. But he's a dog – he'll take you out, wine and dine you, and once you give it up a few times... he's outta there. Just beware is all," she said, shaking her head.

I didn't know what to say. I opened my mouth to speak, but only a tiny squeak came out. She gave me a thin-lipped smile before clicking past me in her high heels and out the door. I gaped at my own reflection before walking back out to the table. Brady sat in front of an empty plate, twisting his napkin in his hands. I slid back into the booth and offered him a crooked smile.

"Was your food good?" I asked.

He ignored me. "Well, that was awkward."

I looked up at him before taking a sip of my water. "What was?"

Brady cocked his head to the side and gave me a skeptical look. "Supernatural hearing doesn't just work in the woods, Lexi. It works in restaurants too. I see you met Kelly."

I choked on the water as it lodged itself temporarily in my windpipe. "Oh... erm..."

"It's alright," he shrugged, glancing away. "She wasn't lying. I was a total dog to her."

"Does she know that you... I mean what you... are?"

He snorted. "No. Course not. But... like I said, she wasn't lying. I did exactly what she said I did, and then I dumped her."

I winced. "That's... honest."

A humiliated grimace flashed across his face. "I promised myself I would never lie to you about my past, alright? I meant it," he said quietly. "She was the last... person before you."

I nodded and tried to look anywhere but at Brady. An awkward air had settled over the booth, I wasn't sure how to get out of. I bit back every comment that graced my tongue as I tried to think of something to say. I wasn't mad that he had been with other girls before me – he was older, so I knew he was experienced, and he'd been very upfront about his man-whorish ways. But I couldn't deny the way I felt at the thought of him being with another girl like that. I realized guys were very much different about sex and love than girls were, but it still felt odd.

"Last?" I asked suddenly. "Have you... I mean I thought..."

"What?"

"How many girls have you dated since you met me?"

Brady gave me a blank look. "You're serious?"

I nodded.

"Um, none."

I shifted in my seat. "You mean you haven't..."

"No," he said quickly. "I... I can't. I can't even imagine trying to be with another girl now that you... since I found you. I can't and I don't want to."

"But what if I said no? What if tomorrow I decided I didn't want anything to do with you?"

His face paled slightly. "Is that what you want?"

"No, hypothetically. I don't mean to taunt you, but I'm just... for curiosity's sake."

He looked a little relieved. "Well... I mean I would be upset. I don't know. It's never good when an imprint doesn't want anything to do with her imprinter."

"Would you be able to date other girls?"

My question hung in the air for several minutes, the silence looming between us a he turned to stare out the window at the water. All around us people got on with their evening; talking, laughing, clanking their forks against their dishes. But we seemed to be in our own little world.

"No," he finally said, his voice quiet but firm. "I don't think I could. I wouldn't want to."

He was quiet after that. We both were, actually. The hour long drive back to Forks was spent with both of us in a quiet daze as we took in the events of our first date. He pulled into my driveway and killed the engine, staring forward with his jaw clenching and unclenching. I chewed my lip and sighed as a light rain began to fall again. The light pitter patters against the windshield were the only sound besides my heart slamming in my chest.

For once in my life, I didn't know what to say. It was clear he was both upset and humiliated by what had happened and the questions I'd asked, but I needed to know the answers. I couldn't be sorry for needing the truth.

He finally broke the silence. "If I would have known... back then... that I was going to meet you now... I would have done a lot of things differently."

I gnawed at the same spot on my lip and looked over at him. "But the past is the past. What can we do?"

He shrugged. "I should have known I'd meet you someday. We used to think finding imprints was rare, but... now, it's obviously not. In one way or another, the fucked up monstrosity known as the universe brought you to me. I should have..." he trailed off, shaking his head.

"But you couldn't have known. I mean... there's a lot I don't understand about this whole process, Brady, but... how could you have known you would someday meet me? And how do you already know that I'm... this person you're so invested in?"

He looked over at me, a faint smile registering on his perfect mouth. "How could I not? Look at you, Lex. You're perfect. Now... I should probably get you inside. I just heard Patrick in the house, and he's wondering where you are."

"What time is it?"

"Not quite ten. You're early but he's worried."

"Fine. But we're not done talking about this 'perfect thing'," I muttered, opening the door. I slumped my shoulders and dragged my feet up to the front door before turning and looking at Brady who was walking closely behind me.

"What's there to talk about?" he sighed.

I couldn't contain my snort of laughter. "You say that, but... I don't get it. I'm just me. Silly, clumsy, and not one tenth of the woman I saw in the bathroom. Legs up to here, boobs out to there," I said, motioning out in front of my chest. I rolled my eyes. "I guess... I just don't get what you see in me."

He nodded. "I plan to spend a very long time showing you." He looked over at me and smiled warmly, giving me a little shrug. "I know it doesn't seem like we fit, but... we do. I'll leave the rest up to you."

I winced. As confusing as all of it was, I was still certain about one thing; that was to show how much I still liked him. But how did we go from friends to flirty, back to friends, and to a romance? I decided to be honest. "I'm not sure where to go from here, Brady."

"We'll just take it day by day and... eventually if you can forgive my past and realize I'm an ignorant asshole who means well, and... we'll just go from there, and maybe one day we can—"

I shifted on the top step and shook my head. He thought I was talking about our relationship – I was just talking about how to maneuver the dreaded, cheesy, corny, and awkward first date kiss.

"No, not about that. I like you, and I appreciate your honesty. All the man-whoring honestly makes me a little nervous and - not gonna lie - kinda gives me the heebie jeebies, so if you could get tested, that would be great," I babbled nervously. "But I was talking about like... the goodbye part."

He frowned. "Wait, what?"

I felt my cheeks heat up in the darkness again, the damp air already making my hair frizz. "I mean like... the goodnight part," I stated awkwardly, giving him a tiny shrug. "Like... the kiss?"

He balked. "You... you mean you still want to?"

"I'm not saying we have to elope, I'm saying we can have just a goodnight kiss, Jesus," I snapped, rolling my eyes.

He chuckled and stepped closer to me, shaking his head. "Lexi... oh my God, you make me laugh."

I tucked my hair behind my ears and gripped the railing of the front porch as I leaned against it. Nervous butterflies temporarily swirled in my stomach as I watched him move closer. "You're sure you want me to kiss you? I don't want you to break your hand slugging me because you just want to be friends."

I smirked and tried to push away my nervousness. As tall and muscly, and beautiful as he was, he was after all, still Brady. The guy that had slowly become one of my best friends that I loved to argue with. He made me giddy, and happy, and nervous all at the same time.

"No, I... I think I want to be more than... f-friends," I admitted.

His answering grin let me know he approved of my answer as he leaned in closer. I prepared myself for his usual kisses; urgent, passionate, and deep, usually leaving me feeling like I needed a cigarette.

Instead, I got something totally different.

I closed my eyes as his lips touched mine, the softness of them surprising me. He'd never kissed me gently enough for me to actually feel what they were like before, I realized. The kiss was feather light and innocent, his mouth barely placing any pressure against my own. He let them linger there for a few seconds, my bottom lip lightly wedged perfectly between his. He broke away far too soon, his dark eyes opening slowly as he pulled away.

"Other girls can't do what you do to me," he whispered.

I gripped the damp rail behind my back, my fingers slipping on the fresh rain. I listened to the rain as it fell with muted splashes against the damp grass.

"You don't have to worry about them. I'm... Brady, I'm yours."

And just as the girl from the restaurant said I would, I believed him.

Thank you Ninkybaby for beta-ing!

Thanks for reading guys - I love all the positive comments this story is getting. I'm glad you guys are as excited about it as last time. I went over my outline for it last night and figured there will be about 35 chapters total. Things are gonna move forward after this 'date', so I hope you're all ready! ; )

Thanks for reading and please review! : )