"You okay Mom?" Sofia asks me as we pull up in to parking lot at the airport. Although she doesn't know the full extent of my phobia of planes, she has a reasonable enough understanding to know of my fears.
"I'm fine. I'm just going to miss you is all. You sure you remembered everything?"
"Yep, and I'm only with Mama for a week, and you have Amy to keep you company. I'll be okay." My daughter tells me maturely before unbuckling her seat belt and getting out of the car.
We get her suitcase out of the trunk and make our way toward the building to check Sofia in. Each time she makes the journey I notice her independence sparking, showing more knowledge of how to travel alone. She checks herself in and drops her bag off, talking to the lady who tags the bag, like it's the most natural thing in the world. Due to Sofia's young age I have special permission to go through the airport and wait at the gate with her. The staff give me a pass and we make our way through the airport.
"Mom can I get a snack for on the plane?"
"Sure, go choose what you want." I offer, passing her $20 and her boarding pass that we know she will have to scan to make a payment, making sure to watch her movements so I don't lose her with the amount of people around.
With snacks bought, we make our way through to the gate that had just been announced, making sure I talk to the members of staff there, letting them know that Sofia is a minor who is traveling alone, and that Callie will be meeting her at the gate at the other side. As usual, they agree to let Sof into the plane before the other passengers, letting her meet the staff and find her seat.
"Hey, Amelia asked me to give you this for the airplane ride." I tell Sofia, reaching into my bag to take out a present.
"It looks like a book. Is it a new book?" Sofia asks excitedly.
"Open it and find out!" I prompt and within seconds the paper wrapping is gone, shoved into my arms while she looks at the present.
"I told Amelia I wanted to read this one last week!" My daughter expresses with a wide grin.
"She was planning on keeping it a secret until your birthday, but then she thought it might be a good way to keep you busy on the plane. You like it?"
"I love it. Tell Amy I said thank you when you get home please." Sof instructs as the flight attend taps my shoulder, telling me it's time to say goodbye.
I wrap my arms around my daughter, telling her I love her and I'll pick her up right here next week.
"I'll text you when I get there. Love you Mom." Sofia says simply, taking the flight attendants hand to head to the plane.
"Love you too sweetheart. Be good." I say, just loud enough for her to hear, waiting for her to turn around before wiping the growing tears welling in my eyes.
Amelia POV
I waited around the apartment, making sure we have all the necessities packed for the trip. Over the last three weeks I have been slowly working away at the drawing of Arizona and Tim, her brother, in preparation for giving it to her while we are away. It took too many attempts, and much experimentation with techniques but I have settled on a sketch of the two of them, Tim seems to be about 21 in the images, so I have drawn him as such and made Arizona younger. Although you can still identify the work as mine, I decided to use a few subtle colours, not too much, but enough to add another layer of realism to it. After some consideration, I also bought a frame as a way to protect it. I don't know whether Arizona will want it on show, or whether it would bring up too many memories to look at regularly, I don't know. What I do know is that she will appreciate the effort. The pain I saw in her eyes when she admitted she didn't have any pictures of the two of them when they're recognisably themselves, although I can't take that pain away, this is the one thing that I could do to comfort her, and I know she will appreciate that.
I carefully place the wrapped frame within my drawing backpack, knowing that's somewhere Arizona wouldn't accidentally find it as she never goes in the bag, she doesn't have a need to. I plan to give it to her in the safety of our hotel room in San Francisco when we arrive. I also packed the thought jar Arizona gifted me, all those many months ago, knowing that I may need it. In addition I collect my yellow container holding my blade and supplies from the bathroom. Arizona and I discussed leaving it behind, but then Arizona thought about how I may be more stressed without it, knowing it isn't there. My main concern, not that I told Arizona about it, was that if I didn't have my blade, it may cause breakdowns, and this weekend (albeit a long weekend) isn't about me, it's about Arizona. I need to be the strong one for the next 4 days.
I'm unsure of the events that will unfold while we are away. Arizona has told me that she has never brought anybody with her for this trip before, she has always faced her pain alone. She is so good at hiding her pain in order to help others that I can count on one hand the times she has broken down in front of me. Sure, she has allowed herself to be vulnerable, she has talked about her pains, her fears and her past, but not in a way that has required me to show her comfort. I find myself packing a box of kleenex incase they're needed before closing the case and carrying it to the living room. I make some sandwiches and grab some fruit and bags of chips to take in the car incase we get hungry, putting them into a grocery bag before heading to the couch to wait for my girlfriend to return.
When Arizona gets home, I can immediately see her pain. I quickly gravitate towards to wrap my arms around her body, remembering how much she hurts when Sofia leaves. "She will be okay. I promise." I whisper into the embrace. "I love you." I continue softly.
"I know. I love you too." Arizona says into the hug, and I feel her moving her arms to wipe her eyes.
"Want me to drive the first stretch?" I offer, knowing she didn't get much sleep last night and may want the rest.
"S'okay, I'm awake enough at the moment, but I may need you to take over in a bit. Have you finished packing?"
"Yep, I just need to put the case in the car. You want to leave now?" I offer, recalling the conversation we had last night about leaving as early as possible.
"Just another minute of hug please."
"I can do that."
We have been on the road for around 6 hours when we stop for a snack/bathroom break. We purchase a couple of bottles of water to go as we had finished the ones we had brought with us and we top up the gas tank, making sure we have enough fuel for the rest of the journey. "Az, honey, I'm going to take over driving, you're exhausted and could do with the rest." I explain to my girlfriend, placing a kind hand on her shoulder.
"Are you sure? I could keep driving, I'm okay." Arizona tries to convince me but I nod my head indicating I'm sure.
"It's okay, I promise. Just make sure to put the zip code into the GPS before you fall asleep. You want to pick the music?" I offer, unplugging my phone from the charger to allow her to play music without draining her phone battery. She accepts the offer and after a few minutes the music starts to play.
"The Eagles? Good choice, I love their music. " I compliment.
"They were one of the only bands Tim and I could agree on. I didn't know you liked classic rock." Arizona retorts.
"Hmm, it's my preferred genre, I listen to other stuff too but classic rock was my Dad's style. Did you think I just listened to Disney all day like I do with Sofia?"
"I mean, I'm pretty sure Sof isn't the only one who enjoys your Disney playlist. it wouldn't surprise me if you listened to it while she wasn't around."
"Hmm, I have but not very often, only when I need cheering up. Speaking of Sofia." Amelia says as Callies name pops up on the screen in the car. Amelia clicks answer and our daughters voice appears through the hands free system.
"Hi Mom, I got to New York and I'm with Mama. The flight went super fast and I finished my book."
"Already? That was quick. Was it good?"
"It was amazing but also really sad. At the beginning the main character moved to a new city and she was really lonely and so she had an imaginary friend to play with. Everybody thought she was crazy so she still couldn't make any friends, but it didn't upset her because her imaginary friend was really smart and fun. Then her parents told her she needed to stop pretending and she needed real friends but then at the end they realised the imaginary friend wasn't imaginary, she was a ghost of a girl that used to live there. Can you believe that? It was crazy!" Sofia lists off, seemingly without taking a breath between sentences.
"Wow, it sounds like it was amazing sweetheart, it sounds very complicated though." Arizona replies.
"The best stories are the complicated ones. If it was all simple it would be boring." Sofia explains and we can practically hear her eyes roll at Arizona's previous statement.
"Did you tell Amy I said thank you?"
"I did, but she can hear you if you want to say it yourself." Arizona replies.
"Thanks Melia, I loved the book."
"You're welcome kiddo, I'm glad you liked it. So did you have a good flight?" I ask her, trying to ease Arizona's tension a little more.
"Yeah. I was sat next to a girl and her Dad, she had a book too. They said they're on the same flight back to Seattle as me next week so we are going to read each other's books on the way back."
"That's a great idea. Was she the same age as you?" Arizona asks Sofia and I realise this is a question I hadn't even considered.
"She was in 6th grade, so she was a year older. She said her cousin is on Broadway so they're going to see her sing in a show while she is off school."
"That sounds really exciting. I'm sure she will have lots of fun, just like you will with your Mama." I offer, knowing that despite Arizona and I both missing her immensely, she is safe and happy.
"Yeah, Mama said we can go bowling and get ice cream. I have to go now because we are at the car. I'll call you both later. Bye Mom, bye Amy. I love you."
"We love you to sweetheart" Arizona retorts quickly, a small smile appearing on her face.
"Talk to you soon." I add before Sofia ends the call.
"You feel better now she has landed?" I ask my girlfriend, placing a hand on her thigh, giving it a comforting rub before placing it back on the steering wheel.
"Yeah. It's stupid, I know the likelihood of what happened to me happening to her so so tiny, but it's still scary. But now it's over, and I feel like I can breath again."
"Az, it's not stupid. Firstly, as you tell me all to often, all of your feelings are okay, and they're never stupid. Secondly, you went through something unimaginable for most people. You survived hell. Sure the likelihood of that happening is tiny, but you have every right to be scared. There is nothing wrong with understanding the facts and still feeling scared. Don't minimise your emotions because of the facts. Your emotions matter too."
"I, I know. I'm sorry."
"You have nothing to be sorry for. I love you, and everything is okay. We are safe, Sofia is safe and everything is fine. Why don't you try to get a bit of rest? You look exhausted."
"Gee, thanks." Arizona says and I feel the sarcastic eye roll without taking my eyes away from the road.
"You know what I mean. There's a blanket behind my chair if you want it." I offer and see her reaching to get it from the corner of my eye.
"Can I put the music back on while I try to sleep?"
"Sure. Whatever you need."
"You know I love you right?"
"I know. I love you too."