5. Reality

Three weeks later

CJ had gone back to work. The staff all knew that Danny had left and they did their best to be there for CJ. It was obvious that she was still hurting from the loss. The first lady came down to see her every day and Josh acted like a small army towards anybody, every time the smallest crisis seemed to include or affect CJ.

She finally got back into the pressroom. Several of the reporters knew that Danny had vanished without reason and some of them wanted to persue the story but actually let go when they saw CJ back on the podium.

The offical reason for her absence was sickness. A nasty cold and flu. It could have been true. But the showing weightloss and evident dark circles under her eyes from sleep deprivation soon made it obvious to most people that something else was wrong. But people seemed to mind their own buisness.

Then one day as she was finishing off her morning briefing CJ suddenly felt very dizzy. She grabbed a hold of the podium and did her best to remain in control. But the entire press corps and the nation could then vitness on screen as their press secretary slowly lost all colour in her face, tried to hold on to her papers but finally collapsed on the floor.

In the minutes after the press room was a total chaos. Leo who had been watching came running along with Josh and Donna. Toby, who was in the room when she collapsed, quickly ran over, pushing over a couple of reporters on his way. He kneeled besides CJ and gently put one hand under her head and slid his other arm under her legs. He was lifting her as Leo entered. He ordered everyone away from CJ and Toby so he could carry her to her office. But on the way he ran into the President and the First Lady.

Abbey took one look at CJ and called for an ambulance. She checked CJ's pulse and her head for any injuries. If anyone was looking closely enough, which wasn't likely in the chaotic scenery, they would have seen the First Lady gently press on CJ lower stomach and check for hemorrhaging.

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It took exactly 34 minutes from the world had vitnessed CJ collaps, until the First Lady recieved the phone call she had been expecting, ever since she heard of the collaps. It was Danny.

She had specifically asked for him to be directed to her phone when he called. Because she knew it would only be a question of minutes and seconds before he would be on the line.

When she was handed the phone she knew in her heart that he still loved CJ.

"Hello Danny"

Silence...

"Danny?" He thought, he had been directed to the hospital staff.

"Mrs. Bartlet, should I be talking to you?" She could hear the desperation in his voice.

"Danny she is going to be just fine. But I think you need to come back now." She heard his breath become more restrained.

"Mrs. Bartlet I just need to know if she'll be ok. It won't be possible for me to ret..." She sensed he was choosing his words carefully – and bluntly cut him off.

"Danny I'm not asking you to come back. I'm telling you. CJ may be fine for now. This was a terrible scare for us all. But I doubt she'll be ok the next time if you don't come back."

"What do you mean ... next time? I don't understand" She could hear he was beginning to worry.

"Danny I know you've been watching her everyday on screen..." she was interrupted by CJ's doctor.

"Just a moment Danny"

Danny could hear the two talking but he only caught on to a few words.

"Last check-up" – "Dehydration" and "critical time for the..." he didn't catch on to the last word. But all of this was driving him crazy.

And yes she was right. He had been watching the press briefing today, hell he had been watching every single press briefing since he left. It was the only way he could see her without actually seeing her. And he could not lie, he had seen how she had looked when she returned from the alleged flu. She had lost weight. Quite a lot, which also showed more easily when you were as fit and thin as CJ was. And he had seen how the dark circles under her eyes was almost a part of her look these days. She had seemed a little better in the last week or two. But she was still too thin. And he hated that. Because he knew he had done that to her. He took it back. He took it all back. All those terrible things he had said to her on that night. She had said things too, but not as bad as he had. He had regretted everything the moment he had slammed the door to her apartment behind him on that faithful night. He missed her – God he loved her. He couldn't live without her, but he had too. They had both said they'd never want to see each other again and he was so sure he had ruined everything they had ever shared that night. He knew she would not take him back. But he wanted her too. He desperately wanted her too.

When he had seen her collaps he felt sick. He wanted to be there with her, to help her, make her better, make her fine again. Make her his. He had argued with himself for nearly 30 minutes before he picked up the phone. He knew that people in the staff had to know they had broken up. He knew that with CJ like this, he wouldn't exactly be mr. popularity amongst the staff. So instead of calling the white house he called the hospital she was taken to. He spoke to a woman who put him on hold as soon as he had introduced himself...

"I'm back" the voice of the First Lady brought him back to reality.

"Danny I am not kidding here. If you ever cared for CJ you would be on the next plane. She needs you Danny. There are things you should know that I can't tell you. Things you would want to know." Abbey knew this was her only shot at getting Danny back to D.C.

"Danny she loves you, she's dying without you in her life – and you must be too. How can you do this?"

"I'm on the next plane out. And Mrs. Bartlet..." the line went silent as she heard him take a deep breath "yes, I love her – of course I love her, I always will" With that they said their goodbye's.