Title: Without You
Author: Writerinthemaking
Feedback: Greatly appreciated

Classification: The West Wing – CJ/Danny
Rating: T
Summary: CJ and Danny face the challenges of their long awaited romance. Sometimes love is not enough, life is messy and we forget to listen. But some things are just too important to miss out on.
Spoilers: None really – it's purely fictional - AU.
Disclaimer: All characters belong entirely to Aaron Sorkin and The West Wing - How am I supposed to live without you is performed by Michael Bolton Greatest Hits 1985-1995

Authors Note: I have been extremely busy the last six moths, so I have kept you waiting. I am really sorry - I know how much I look forward to updates. I just hope this new chapter will satisfy you! Thank you for reading and please review!

6. Hearts break - hearts mend

Danny had never been as nervous as he was right now. The flight to Washington from L.A. had been long and nervous. Every ten minutes he would check online for news about C.J. He would call the hospital to check up on her and he would go to the bathroom on the plane.

Now he stood in a small bathroom stall and looked at himself in the mirror. He missed her like crazy. He knew he loved her and he had not had a good nights sleep since he left Washington after that faithful night. The sleep deprivation that showed as bags under her eyes in C.J's face in the weeks following her return to the White House and the subsequent weight loss after her alleged flu was the same with him.

He knew that C.J. had told Abbey about their fight, it was quite evident in the way she had sounded on the phone. He was still replaying the phone conversation in his mind.

"Last check-up" – "Dehydration" and "critical time for the..." He didn't know what to make of the small fractures of the conversation he had heard between Abbey and the doctor. He slammed his fist into the mirror in front of him. He was surprised when he looked up and saw tears on his cheeks.

Suddenly there was a loud knock on the door.

"Sir, is everything alright in there," the young female flight attendant sounded nervous. On her nametag it said: Marie Kay.

Danny tried to pull himself together. He quickly brushed his hand over his eyes to remove any traces of tears and opened the lock on the bathroom door.

The young woman outside looked at him with searching eyes. The man in front of her had dark circles under his eyes; it even looked like he had been crying. She had noticed earlier when she was serving coffee that he was reading the same news article online over and over again. It was about the president's press secretary. Apparently she had passed out during a press conference. Marie had always liked the strong and independent C.J. Cregg. A woman like CJ was a role model and someone to look up to.

Normally Marie would not take notice of what the passengers were reading or doing but something had caught her eye when she was handing out blankets later. She saw the red-haired man, who now stood before her, was looking at a picture with him and C.J. Cregg in close embrace. The picture looked recent judging by the appearances of the two, but it was wrinkled and one of the corners was ripped.

"Sir, is there something I can do for you?" Marie lowered the sound of her voice. She knew she had drawn attention to them before when she had knocked on the door.

"No thank you, I should go take my seat," Danny said. He started walking towards his seat but Marie soon noticed he was going in the wrong direction.

"Sir," she quickly caught up to him "your seat is back here." She led him to his first class seat. Normally Danny didn't travel first class but it was all there was left when he arrived at the airport looking for the next plane out.

When Danny got to his seat he sat down and looked at his watch. Three more hours until touch down. He sat there staring out the window. He couldn't wait to see her again. But he knew she would not be happy to see him. Abbey might have gotten her to tell her parts of the story but he was sure C.J. had not told Abbey about the end of their argument and why things had really ended.

Danny slowly felt himself nodding off and knew he would dream of it again. Their last fight.

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Oct. 05.

After their initial fight Danny had politely but surely been escorted to the elevator by the two secret service agents. He knew he had no chance of getting back in there but he knew he had too. Seeing C.J. standing there shaking and crying had ripped his heart out. He had to get back in there. He also wanted to know who that man was, the man kissing C.J. on the cheek, hugging her and lending her his shoulder to cry on. He knew C.J. and this was not something she would let just anybody do. He was actually quite sure he was one of the only ones. Well him and the first lady. He was sure there had to be more to the story that C.J. was letting on and why had she blown up like that?

Danny knew better than to try to get back into the building so he walked around to the car parking. He knew C.J. would be coming out from there in a few minutes if she had to be at the White House in 15 minutes. The minutes went by and he finally realized that she would be going to the White House any time soon. He saw her neighbor Mrs. Hunt returning from her daily shopping. He liked Mrs. Hunt. She had treated him very kindly when he saw her in the hall. She was like a mother to C.J., who had told him how Mrs. Hunt kind of looked after her and her plants.

Something had to have happened since C.J. hadn't left yet. After nearly an hour and a half he decided to try his luck. He didn't see the agents on his way in. he figured they were back in the small apartment across from CJs.

He stepped out of the elevator just as Mrs. Hunt was leaving C.J's apartment. He knew something had happened since Mrs. Hunt had been in CJ's apartment. He waited until Mrs. Hunt was gone and then quickly went to the door and used his own key to get in. He knew this was risky but he didn't want to risk using the doorbell and having CJ slam the door in his face before they had a chance to talk. And he was sure the agents would not give him another chance to stay behind and wait for a second chance.

When he stepped into her apartment he somehow sensed that CJ was sleeping. There was no sound besides the dishwasher, which was probably put on by Mrs. Hunt. He walked to the bedroom and found CJ sleeping in the bed. She looked completely exhausted. He felt his heart ache for her. It had been a stupid fight. Of course she would never cheat on him. They loved each other. There was no way…

CJ slowly woke up sensing there was someone in the room with her. She saw Danny standing there and knew he had been waiting to get in. The two locked eyes. Maybe everything was not lost. They had both been foolish and the fight had been wrong. She could see how it had to have looked to Danny when she embraced

Danny felt a single tear escape his right eye and slowly slide down his cheek. How could he be such an idiot? Their relationship was worth all the small misunderstandings in the world, but standing there with CJ looking at him made him scarred. What if she didn't feel the same way?

Seeing the tear on Danny's cheek made CJ well up too. She slowly drew back the covers of the bed for him to get in. In a second he was besides her, kissing her and holding her.

"I hate it when we fight, I'm sorry I didn't trust you" was all he could say.

She answered him with a deep kiss and they tumbled about in the bed to remove all their clothes before they made love without any words but tears when they finally reached ecstasy.

Afterwards they lay entwined both trying to figure out how to start the conversation that would have to come next.

None of them knew that the next 25 minutes might forever jeopardize everything they had together.

"Danny, I think we have to talk…" CJ sat up and wrapped the sheet around her still naked body.

"Yes, I know. This was all a big mistake" Danny sat besides her in the bed holding her hand and continued…

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Yep, that's all for now folks – do you want more then after reading - review please! Is there something you like, dislike, want more of - less of? I took a long time trying to figure out where I wanted this fight to go so please bear with me ok? But it's great to be back, and once again I've managed to stay up half the night to write this;) But I love doing this so it's really no sweat.