I can't pull you closer than this
It's just you and the moon on my skin
Oh who says it ever has to end
Oh don't say that it's over
Oh no say it ain't so

Let's let the stars watch
Let them stare
Let the wind eavesdrop
I don't care
For all that we've got, don't let go
Just hold me

Eavesdrop – The Civil Wars

Chapter 26: Before the Luck Runs Out

Lexi

I couldn't believe it.

This was finally happening.

Brady had been slipping into my bedroom window, for weeks now, taunting and teasing me with taste after taste of what it would be like to really be with him in that way, and now finally – it was going to happen.

His truck roared as we barreled down the interstate back towards Forks. But we weren't going to Forks, I realized. We were going to his house. In La Push. Alone. For him to prove the way he felt about me.

My heart started to pound in my chest as I gripped the door handle and licked my lips. Glancing sideways, I briefly met Brady's eyes in the darkened cab of the truck as he drove. They were wild and bright as they caught mine for a split second before flashing back to the road. My heart felt like it was pounding against my ribcage, about to burst completely out of my chest. I felt like I was on fire and ready to explode at any moment and we weren't even to his house yet. I couldn't hide my smile as my heart rate increased, slamming against the skin of my chest so hard I thought it might wear a hole.

"Can you hear that?" I asked a little breathlessly.

"Yes," he nodded, acknowledging the frantic beating sound in my ears. I could feel the blood pulsing through my veins as he sped down the road, twisting and turning along the yellow lines towards La Push. I'd never been to his house before, or seen his room, or his bed. I'd never done so much with him, but that would soon end.

Tonight, I thought.

Was I ready? I thought I was. I loved Brady – all of him. The silly parts, the sweet parts, and tonight I realized I loved even the stupid, jealous, angry parts of him. Was that what love was? Knowing all sides of someone and still wanting them in the end? Did knowing someone completely and still sticking around for the ending, whatever it may be, translate to loving all of someone?

I might be young, and in love for the first time, but I thought so. I'd seen so many parts of him in such a short amount of time, yet I still yearned for him. I wanted his touch, his company, his friendship, his hands, his voice… yes, I thought, I definitely still wanted all of him for myself.

To me, that was love.

Before long, we pulled off the winding road, turning onto a dirt drive that wound back through the trees. After a few seconds, submerged in the mossy tree trunks and dying ferns, we came to a clearing with a sprawling yard. In the middle, I could just make out the outline of a small, outdated ranch house with wood siding and a few outbuildings.

"Home sweet home," he sighed, killing the truck's engine. I glanced forward, unsure of what I'd been expecting. I knew Brady's life away from me was far from glamorous, but the house honestly looked a little like a dump. He seemed to read my expression in the darkness.

"Before you get all 'Lexi' on me… don't. It's a dump, I know. But with a merry-go-round of bachelors moving in and out over the years, it's taken quite a beating."

I bit back a snarky comment. "I didn't… say anything. Yet."

Brady shot me a knowing look. "Come on, I'll show you inside. It's not bad."

I slid out of the cab of his truck, the slamming door seemingly muted against the thick fog that had settled over the clearing where his house sat. It felt late, but a quick glance at my cell phone assured me I was well within my curfew. Good. I wanted plenty of time to savor what was about to happen. I followed him through the dim light, my eyes settling on the spot between his shoulders. I could see the muscles of his taut back moving through his shirt, showing off the broad expanse of his body. Sometimes he was just Brady to me. Like, my friend. The goofy asshole that hung around my house and bent over backwards to get me to like him and make me laugh. He had an almost toothy smile and childlike eyes that shone when he laughed, I mean really laughed. Then there were times like these; times that I realized he was a tall, dark, dangerous shape shifter with a body to kill. And a body that had probably killed. He was magical, handsome and older, and wouldn't normally want anything to do with a scrawny high schooler like myself that had next to no experience with guys. But then I remembered that whatever mystical force made him turn into something out of the norm was the same force that somehow drew us to each other. We belonged together.

Would he want me as much as I wanted him?

I gulped nervously. Together, I thought.

The wooden screen door creaked in protest as he pried it open, twisting the doorknob without unlocking it.

"You don't - "

He grinned over his shoulder at me, flashing his white teeth. "Nah. People know better."

I caught myself shivering slightly as his teeth caught the light. In that moment, the shadows made him look almost… predatory. Could people sense that he was a monster even without knowing? Did most humans know enough to listen to that sixth sense that told them something was off about a supernatural creature, I wondered? I wasn't sure.

We walked into the house, and as he promised, it was a little better on the inside. To the right was a sprawling, outdated kitchen, littered with dirty dishes but basically clean. The long Formica countertops glowed under the low lamp hanging over the island in the middle. To the left was a living room with a low ceiling and some worn out couches. A large LCD screen TV hung on the wall, but a large dent in the corner told me it wasn't the most ideal viewing apparatus. Sweatpants, socks, and boots were scattered around the floor, and it smelled faintly like beer, but it wasn't too bad. I'm not saying I'd walk around there barefoot, but it wasn't horrible.

Brady paused on his silent tour, turning around to give me a skeptical look.

"You're sure about this?"

I opened my mouth in surprise, then shut it. "Yes. I told you… I wanted to have sex. Tonight. With you. Will you stop worrying, Brady? I'm not a little girl. I'm a woman. Now…" I gulped, mustering my courage, "show me your room so we can… erm, fuck?"

Now I knew that my words were a little intense and overboard, but he needed to realize I wasn't a little girl anymore. Well, I wasn't ever a little girl when he knew me, but I wanted him stop picturing me as a child. Innocent. Someone he needed to protect. I remembered the curves of the girl who'd cornered me in the Italian restaurant the night of our first date; she'd been all slopes and curves and womanly. It wasn't just her body, it was her attitude. She was confident and assertive; she had no qualms about coming up to me and demanding answers. Maybe that was what Brady liked.

Brady's face didn't react to my tawdry words. Instead, he studied me until a slow grin parted his lips and he gave me a quick eye roll to let me know he wasn't impressed.

"Come on, I'll show you my room. Unless you'd like for me to mount and take you out on the front lawn, Miss Saucy Mouth?"

I frowned at him as his mouth turned upwards into a little smirk, lightly smacking his arm as he chuckled.

"Forget I said that. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to… swear," I apologized awkwardly. "I don't know why I said that."

I crossed my arms in front of my chest, feeling stupid. Which was how I usually felt when I tried to be somewhat assertive and cool, I realized. I should just hold back on that permanently.

He gently kicked open a wooden door at the end of the hallway, still chuckling under his breath at me as we walked. I found myself in a cramped room with a queen sized bed, a meager dresser, and a closet that was halfway open and spewing out dirty clothes. He had a few knick knacks here and there, but it was basically plain. An old beer sign glowed from the corner, but the room was otherwise dark. He plopped onto the rumpled bed, patting the surface next to him.

"Sit."

I dropped my purse in the middle of the floor and shuffled over to sit next to him. My mouth went a little dry. I was with Brady, alone, in his room, with a bed. A huge bed. I said the first thing that popped into my head.

"Nice… sheets."

I avoided his eyes as he coughed uncomfortably. "Well… I take my bedding seriously."

My head snapped sideways to give him an incredulous look. "What the hell?"

"No!" he laughed, holding up his hand. "I mean… I mean I like nice sheets? I washed them a few days ago so they're not…"

I winced, glancing over my shoulder at the flat surface behind me. How many girls had he…screwed in this bed? I felt a little sick at the thought. While I loved Brady and trusted him with my life, I was well aware of his man-whorish past. I was not naïve enough to think that I was the first female to step foot in this room.

"Um… not what you're thinking. I mean I washed them so they don't stink like ass. I mean, my ass. Ulgh, I'm screwing this up. Lexi, I bought… I bought a new bed when I met you."

I glanced at him sideways, surprise registering on my face.

"What?"

"Well… the other had some bad memories. Not bad, I guess… just… old. It was an old bed from my old days of slutting around, and I got rid of it. I burned it out back, actually. I got a new bed when we met, and I'm the only person who's ever slept in it. I swear, Lex -"

"No, its fine," I said, cutting him off. "I know who you are, Brady. I know what you've done… well, most of it."

He gave me a sheepish little smile. "Most of it, yeah."

"- And I'm willing to accept it as part of who you are. I mean… those circumstances led you to me, so who am I to blame you?"

He smirked at me and gave another sheepish nod. "I know. I just want you to know that we don't have to do this," he sighed, standing up. He stretched for a moment before opening one of his dresser drawers. I watched him pull out a few candles, his eyes leaving mine as he walked around the small bedroom, placing one on his dresser and one on the bedside table.

He scraped a match against the side of the dresser, the iron-like muscles in his arm flexing ever so slightly against the armband of his black t-shirt. His already perfect tanned skin took on a honey glow in the light of the match, and the old beer sign that it almost wasn't fair. He was so beautiful.

And soon I'd get to see all of him.

The flame of the match flickered for a moment before swelling with light and heat, growing with each passing second.

I suddenly felt like the match; ready to be struck, erupting into heat and fire.

I swallowed the saliva that had pooled on my tongue and tried to keep my cool.

"Candles?"

He shrugged with an impish smile. "I'm trying here."

"Why?"

He gave me a little exasperated sigh. "Lexi… I'm not this guy. The candles, the charming behavior, the knight in shining armor that every girl wants to be her first. Her boyfriend. That guy she always dreamed of having. Come on, I've seen chick flicks, enough to know that it's the truth."

I dug the toe of my shoe into the rug. "So?"

"So. What I'm saying is… I'm not this guy. But for you… I'm trying to be, okay? I'm trying. I'm the asshole, remember? Well, this is an asshole trying to take every crappy, shitty, assholey thing he's ever done and make it right by doing this for you."

"Brady…"

"No, don't do that. Don't tell me I'm not."

"I wasn't going to," I laughed, folding my arms around myself.

"Good," he chuckled. "Cuz you won't get too far. But I'm trying to be better for you because you deserve it. And if that means having candles and clean sheets then… so be it."

He was trying here, I had to give it to him. He was really stretching to be everything I absolutely should want in a boyfriend. But he had to know that he didn't have to do that – I wanted him as he was. I'd come to terms with his past. As difficult as it had been to accept that my boyfriend was a reformed manwhore, I didn't have it in me to hold it against him. I'd seen parts of him I'm sure he'd never shown anyone before, and I didn't want to reject him. I couldn't – I'd fallen in love with him instead. Brady didn't have to tell me that the ways of his past were a heavy burden on his shoulders - I knew it. Call me crazy, or maybe all the imprint stuff he was constantly spewing to me about soul mates were really true. I don't know. But what I did know was that I could see how much he regretted his wilder past. He wanted to be perfect for me, but he didn't need to be. I wanted him – all of him. If anything, he cemented my decision a hundred times over. I glanced around the room at the candles and rolled my eyes.

"You already had them," I pointed out. "You planned this?"

"No," he said quickly, flicking his wrist a few times. "I'd hoped for it. I didn't want the moment to come and to be unprepared. So I planned, yes. You caught me. Happy?"

Now it was my turn to smirk. "Maybe. So…" I trailed off, unsure of how to actually get things started. I didn't want to just jump him my first time out – what if what I knew about sex from movies and stolen glances at trashy romance novels was incorrect? I'd have to let him lead eventually. He was after all, the experienced one.

I reached for my purse on the floor, opening it to shakily pull out one of the condoms they'd handed out a few weeks ago in health class. I stood, shrugging out of my cardigan to reveal the plain white tank top. Tossing it to the floor, I turned the foil packet over in my hand, letting the perforated edges scrape my palm. He didn't move. Instead, he gave me an unreadable look as he eyed the condom in my fingers. I held it out in front of me, watching as his perfect jaw clenched slightly. I felt my nipples tighten in anticipation. Then, there was a rush of horror as I realized I was wearing only a white tank top with a flimsy polka dot bra, and he could probably see my polka dots and my nipples. He's going to see them anyway, I chided myself. You have to be naked to have sex, Lex. Idiot.

I gulped again, trying to summon my courage. "I maybe… planned a little too."

Brady's jaw clenched again as he reached forward. He snatched the little foil packet up between two fingers, his cocky smirk endearing only until he spoke.

"That's not gonna work for me, doll face."

I shot him a dark look. "What?"

"That's not gonna work. Won't fit," he replied smugly, raising one eyebrow. I felt the heat rush up to my cheeks in a surge of embarrassment and slight horror. Did he mean… I felt myself wince internally as I realized my poor planning. I had a huge, tanned, mature man who was apparently hung at my disposal, and I was a miserable, little, inexperienced high schooler who was a b-cup virgin.

Great.

Of course he would be large in the pants, I realized. We'd dry humped under my comforter enough times for me to realize he wasn't exactly lacking in that area. I felt the blush in my cheeks spread to my chest. Suddenly my entire body felt hot with embarrassment and nervous energy.

His face went from cocky and teasing to serious. "I… part of my condition. When I grew to be like this, well… everything grew. Including that," he stated awkwardly. He gave me a helpless shrug.

"How convenient," I snapped, rolling my eyes. "Did you wake up this morning and roll out of a romance novel or something? All tall, dark and hung?"

"Well, you know…" he shrugged, giving me a grin.

I turned around, tossing by cardigan further back on the bed and out of the way. Kicking off my shoes, I tilted my head and gave him an expectant look. "So where does that leave us now?"

He walked over to the bed, taking a seat beside him. He was still full dressed in a black t-shirt and blue jeans, but I could feel the heat rolling off of him. It was familiar and comforting.

"Wherever you want it to leave us."

I watched him carefully in the dim light, my eyes raking up and down his face. Leaning in, I did the only thing I felt truly confident doing in that moment – I kissed him. While I expected him to throw me back on the bed and have his way with me, he seemed content to take things torturously slow. Normally I would be fine with that, but in this instance, I really just wanted to get the unpleasant, awkward, first-timeness over with.

I kissed him, but with only half of my attention. The other half was busy pawing at the hem of his shirt, inching it up his torso. He pulled away, chuckling as he shook his head.

"Will you just wait?"

I gave an impatient huff before grabbing the hem of my tank top and ripping it over my head. "No."

Brady chuckled, shaking his head at me. I huffed.

"You know… when I pictured this night, I pictured a lot less chuckling, head shaking and eye rolling at me than is currently going on right now, just a FYI," I snapped, twisting my hands in my lap.

Brady's eyebrows shot up. "Lex… what's the rush? We have another three hours before your curfew. I don't want you to think that I'm going to…"

"What?" I prodded.

He shrugged as the tips of his ears turned pink. "I haven't….been with anyone since you…since you and I met, so I might like…"

I chewed my lower lip and tired not to laugh. "You worried you might suck at this too?"

He gave me a dark, slightly exasperated look to let me know that he did not appreciate my playful jibes about his manhood.

"I'm just saying I am out of practice and….and I'm nervous too. But we have over three hours to get this accomplished and I don't want you to think it will last more than ten minutes. Shit, at the rate we're going it won't last two."

"You're not propositioning me very well," I joked, twisting my mouth. "I thought guys like you went all night?"

"No, that's just in romance novels," he rolled his eyes. "What I'm getting at is that I think we have enough time to do this. Would you just stop hurrying?"

I gave him a challenging look. "You'd think you'd put the next three hours to good use then."

He rolled his eyes before standing up and pulling his shirt over his head. His jeans hit the floor next, followed by his shoes and socks. He stood in front of me in black boxer briefs. Tented black boxer briefs. I gave an approving nod as my mouth went dry.

"Uh… good."

He sauntered the few feet back to the bed, leaping over me to land on the mattress with a hearty bounce. I couldn't help but laugh.

"Okay, that's a start."

"Good," he quipped. "Now where were we?"

He leaned over me, capturing my mouth in a soft kiss. I felt myself sigh a girly sigh as his mouth coaxed me into forgetting everything around me. Leaning back on the bed, I let his hot, nearly bare body cover mine like a heavy blanket. I was still in my jeans and bra and feeling overdressed, and Brady seemed to know. Breaking away, he leaned back on his heels and slowly peeled my stretchy jeans off before tossing them to the floor. He shot me a seductive look before resuming our kissing. Brady had kissed me hundreds of times, or maybe it was just dozens. Every time we kissed I felt like my head went fuzzy, and I lost focus, so I wasn't sure.

He had a way of making me feel like time was standing still - like my body weighed a thousand pounds, and I couldn't move. I wouldn't want to move. He had a way of taking everything insignificant thing I'd ever worried about and tossing it away. I'd dreamed about what true love was like before in my girlish daydreams, but it was never quite like this.

This was better.

As he kissed down my jaw and over my neck, I felt his fingers reach behind my back and unhook my bra. He pulled it away, never pausing his lips against my skin as he tossed it down to the floor. My hands shook slightly as I wove them into his inky locks and felt myself start to ache in an all too familiar way. I wanted this, but I was also slightly anxious of what to expect. To be honest, I was a little afraid of doing this. I knew sex wasn't something to be taken lightly, at least not to me. I wasn't like the other girls where I came from back in California. I didn't make light of it, and I'm glad I didn't. But I was also excited to share this experience with Brady and no one else, and a huge part of me felt safe knowing he would be the only person that would know this side of me. He was the only one who would see me this exposed and inexperienced.

His lips were hot against my navel, bringing me back to the present. My mouth dropped open slightly as I felt his tongue dart out and taste my skin. We'd fooled around before, but things had never gone this far, this naked, or this fast. My heart was hammering as I gasped for air. His breath was deliciously hot against my skin. I lifted my head off the bed and looked down at him.

"Can I take these off?" he asked, motioning to my underwear. The sight of him crouched between my legs, his tanned skin against my lighter skin, and the darkness of his eyes made my head spin a little - his hungry look staring back at me.

My knees knocked together awkwardly as my underwear came off, Brady's hot arms immediately anchoring me to the bed.

"You okay?"

I glance down at him again, cringing internally as I realized his face was like close to me down there. I gulped and nodded.

"Good," he muttered, dropping a wet kiss on the inside of my thigh. My cheeks flamed, and I was glad the room was dim. "You'll enjoy this. I hope."

I didn't have time to argue. His mouth was on me, tentative at first. I gasped, my eyes flying open. Holy shit. My eyes struggled to focus on the rough boards of his bedroom ceiling, but I was having trouble. If I thought his skin was warm, then his mouth was ten times hotter – especially there. I bit back a shriek of surprise as he used his fingers to part my folds and expose my sensitive bundle of nerves. His lips covered it a millisecond later, sending me into a quivering, tightlipped mass on top of his bed.

"We're alone," he rasped between attacks. I gasped for air. "You don't have to worry."

A choked, warbled noise left my lips as he continued his welcomed assault. I felt myself choke on some spit as I gasped again, finishing it with an embarrassingly loud cough. Great. I'd never felt more vulnerable and exposed- ever. However, the feelings he was causing me to feel couldn't be ignored. I both hated and loved what he was doing to me. His iron-like forearm kept me still as he drove me further and further towards the release I knew I'd been craving since he'd shown up at my house that night. He held me down against the bed as I came undone with a strangled wail and quivering insides. My hand found its way to his hair and pulled it without my full realization, and I wasn't prepared for his groan of approval. The vibration sent an aftershock of pleasure ricocheting through my body unlike anything I'd ever felt. My body was teetering on the edge of being self-conscious and hyper aware and just not giving a damn. Release wouldn't come if I was worrying about what he was doing and what we would soon be doing.

I let go. I lost myself in the pleasure, in the moment, and in the desperation I felt to have him. I'd wanted to have Brady so badly - I wasn't going to waste this night feeling self-conscious. And letting go was the most glorious feeling ever, by the way.

My body was still humming as his mouth closed back over mine. I felt myself quiver slightly, every nerve ending in me suddenly felt like a livewire. Brady smiled against my open mouth as I gasped for breath between kisses. It took me a moment to come down from my blissed out high, but once I did I tried to relax and answer his kiss with my own. It was hard to concentrate on much of anything after he'd just taken control and done that to me, but so it wasn't any surprise that I didn't hear him ripping open a condom. Before I could even catch my breath, he was pulling the blankets out from underneath my butt and covering us from the waist down. I shot him an appreciative glance. Even though I loved him and we were about to do one of the most intimate naked acts two people could do, it still gave me some false sense of modesty and security to be halfway under a blanket. He lined himself up with me, and I thought I felt his hand shake a little. His eyes flashed up to mine to ask a silent question.

Are you absolutely sure?

I answered him back with this one: absolutely yes.

I won't say I was surprised to say that it hurt. Like it really hurt. But I knew it would. I mean, I knew what he was packing in his pants. Well, I'd felt it. Seen it through boxers. Rubbed up against it. Whatever. But I knew it would hurt. And well… ouch.

"I'm sorry," he said through gritted teeth, his eyes focused on the pillow behind my head.

"Just… keep going… ah! Ow, uh… "

I bit my lip and tried to remember why on earth this had seemed like such a brilliant idea ten minutes ago as Brady's gigantic piece of man meat made my girly parts want to cry a little. Shit, why did women all think a mammoth sized man was a good idea again? I tasted blood from biting my lip so hard and tried to instead focus on the way Brady's muscled chest looked hovering above me.

When the worst of it seemed to be over, I sighed into his shoulder and let my legs fall a little further apart. He groaned above me, lowering his face to my chest. One scrape of his teeth against my sensitive skin had me reeling enough to finally relax a little bit. Brady's hand came down and hitched one of my legs around his hip as he increased the pace. I winced a few times, trying my best to forget everything and to enjoy this. Eventually things started feeling less scrape-y and painful and started to feel good. Really good.

Brady thrust his hips a little harder, making me cry out as he seemed to touch something deep inside my walls that made my toes curl. He stopped abruptly, the toe-curling feeling going promptly away.

"What? What happened?"

"Ulgh, don't stop," I whined, tossing my head back against the pillow.

He chuckled a little breathlessly, shaking his head at me. "God I love you," he laughed, resuming his movements. I felt his forehead against my shoulder as his hand dropped to grip my hip.

"So… different," he breathed his voice low and scratchy. His face looked suddenly boyish and surprised as he stared down at me.

I felt a tingling chill of something erotic slide down my spine at his words.

"What is?"

"This," he groaned, capturing my lips with his. He kissed me deeply, stilling his movements below the blanket. I felt my insides quiver as he pulled away and gave me a look and some words that I hope I'll never forget.

"Lex...don't ever let me go."

Thank you to NinkyBaby for beta-ing!

Thank you for reading this guys - I put a lot of work into it and I hope you enjoyed this chapter. I loved writing it! Let me know what you thought : )