From Mafioso to Pirate
Chapter 14: Tall Tales
XXX
"So, let me get this straight," Nami said in irritation, glaring as the child-version of Lambo was laughing and using Luffy's outstretched arm as a trampoline. "Time travel."
"Yep," Zoro said flatly, lying on his back with his eyes closed.
The orange-haired girl cast him a glare, which went completely ignored. "Do you think I'm stupid or something?! You really expect me to believe that?!"
"Don't really care. The proof's right in front of you."
"I think it's cool!" Luffy shouted back at them happily.
"Haha! You're so stretchy!" Lambo said in delight, now gripping Luffy's finger and stretching it as far as he could. "Stretchy~! Stretchy~!"
"That's 'cause I'm made of rubber!" Luffy boasted, puffing his chest out proudly.
The child looked up at him with sparkling, awe-struck eyes. "Really?! Cooooooooool!"
Zoro smirked at the scene. "It's like there's two of them."
"Great, they're multiplying..." Nami said back sarcastically before heaving a sigh. "Seriously, first the Mafia thing and now this... How did I get stuck with these freaks...?"
"Well, I'm sure it's your own fault."
"...And what the hell is that supposed to mean?"
Zoro yawned again before frowning in thought. "I wonder what happens to our Lambo when he switches out..."
Ten Years Ago...
Lambo tilted his head and crossed his arms, watching the spectacle before him.
Tsuna was running around in nothing but his boxers, shouting at the top of his lungs with an orange flame lit on his forehead. In the distance, Reborn was watching with a victorious smirk and Gokudera was cheering his boss on whilst Yamamoto just laughed it all off as usual.
"Tsuna's Dying Will Mode sure was different back then, huh?" He mumbled, watching the Dying Will Tsuna accidentally slam into a tree, then proceed to rip it out of the ground and casually toss it to the side before continuing to run as if nothing had happened. "That's...interesting."
Ten Years Later...
"...Well, I'm sure he's fine," the swordsman said with a shrug.
"Seriously, what is wrong with you guys?" Nami sighed in defeat before turning her gaze towards the ocean. She blinked and moved forward for a better look, squinting her eyes against the sun. "Hey, is that land over there?"
"Huh?!" Luffy exclaimed as he and the child rushed over towards the edge of the ship, bouncing excitedly. "Land?! Where?!"
"Where? Where?" Lambo shouted happily, obviously not really understanding what was going on and just copying the older boy.
"Careful! You'll fall off, you idiots!"
"So, we've finally made it to land," the newly-returned fifteen-year-old Lambo observed as he stepped off the boat they had been traveling in for the last few days.
"It's been a while," Zoro agreed, stretching. "So, anything interesting happen back in the past?"
"Hm?" Lambo paused and thought for a moment before giving a nonchalant shrug. "A bit, I guess. But nothing really special happened."
Nami gave him a side glare. "Are you serious? Time travel is nothing special to you?"
The black-haired boy just gave another shrug. "Well, I'm pretty used to it. I used to do it all the time when I was a kid, so I never thought too much about it."
She looked at him in disbelief before sighing and resting her hand on her forehead. "Unbelievable... What kind of idiots would give something like that to a kid anyway?"
"That's the Mafia for you," was his response. The girl just glared at him before sighing once again.
"Hey, Nami, where are we anyway?" Luffy spoke up, causing their disussion to cease.
Nami pulled out her map and examined it. "According to this, we're on Gecko Island." She looked up and pointed towards a path leading further into the woods. "If we go in that direction, we should end up in Syrup Village."
"Pretty weird name," the cow-boy remarked. "Well, I guess we should go check it out. We need to refill our food supply."
Luffy's eyes instantly lit up. "Food?! Oooooh! That means we'll get meat, right?! Let's go! Let's go!"
"Our captain sure is high maintenance," Zoro mumbled.
"You can say that again," Lambo agreed.
"Hey, speaking of supplies," Nami spoke up, gaining their attention. "Before we can even think about going to the Grand Line, we need to get the essentials!"
"Essentials?" Luffy asked in confusion.
The girl gave a frustrated sigh at this. "Of course! Do you really expect to make it through the Grand Line with a crew of four people?"
Luffy nodded. "Well, yeah."
"Don't be stupid!" Nami snapped at him before turning to the other two, seeing as Luffy just wasn't going to get it. "We're in no condition to go to the Grand Line. We don't even have a real ship yet!" She pointed at their two tiny boats. "Those things won't last one second in a place like that! Not to mention we don't have a doctor, or a cook, or anything!"
"She's right!" Luffy suddenly exclaimed, surprising his crewmates, who looked at him somewhat hopefully. "Before we go to the Grand Line, we need a musician!"
Nami and Lambo just stared at him while Zoro burst out into laughter. "Hahahahaha! A musician? You're really something, Luffy!"
"High maintenance indeed..."
"What the hell do we need a musician for?!" Nami shouted incredulously.
"Because pirates are supposed to sing! Right, Lambo?"
"How would I know?" He sighed as Nami started a one-sided argument with the other boy. It was then that he noticed that Zoro was no longer looking at any of them. Instead, his eyes were fixed on the foliage on top of the nearby cliff, hand firmly wrapped around the hilt of one of his swords. "Zoro? What's wrong?"
"Somebody's up there."
"What? Where?" The black-haired boy quickly looked up, narrowing his eyes. "I can't see anyone..."
Luffy looked up as well. "Where? Where?"
Zoro's eyes suddenly widened. "Watch out!"
"Huh? Whoa!" Lambo and Luffy both yelped and dived out of the way as several small somethings shot out of the bushes and landed where they had been standing. "What the hell?!"
Hearing a rustling sound, the four looked up just as numerous black flags with skulls and crossbones shot up from the bushes all around the cliff face.
Luffy gaped. "Whoa! That's awesome!"
"Luffy, you've gotta stop being impressed by the people trying to kill us!" Lambo shouted at him as he stood back up and looked around cautiously.
"Look! Up there!" Nami, who had hidden back with the boats, shouted, pointing upwards.
Looking in the direction she pointed, they were just in time to see someone step out of the bushes and stand near the edge of the cliff. "Who's that?" Lambo mumbled. "...And what's wrong with his nose?"
Above them was a dark-skinned young man who looked to be around the same age as Luffy. He was rather slim and had very curly black hair, along with an unusually long nose. On his head, over his curly hair, he wore an olive-green, striped bandanna, and over that a pair of goggles. He wore a pair of brown overalls with a white sash tied around his waist, and a blue and white striped armband on one of his arms. There was also a bag slung around him by a strap.
The boy smirked down at them. "Behold! I am the leader of the pirate crew who has taken over this island! You may address me as Captain Usopp! If you're thinking of invading this village, then think again! My crew of eighty-million men will crush you!"
"INCREDIBLLLLLEEEEE!" Luffy shouted, gaping while the others just stared at the scene with half-lidded expressions.
"Come on, Luffy. He's obviously lying," Lambo said, looking at the other boy incredulously. "That many people can't even fit on this island."
"It's obviously a lie," Nami said flatly. "Like really, really obvious..."
"No way! They saw through it!" The boy, Usopp, shouted in panic.
"Even he's admitting it now," Zoro muttered.
"Wait, he was really lying?!" Luffy exclaimed, looking shocked and betrayed.
Lambo sighed for what felt like the millionth time. "Yes, Luffy. Yes he was."
"...Alright, eighty-million may have been a bit of an exaggeration," Usopp admitted. "But I still have many powerful allies!"
At that, a few of the flags at his far right started to move up and down. Nami smirked and arched an eyebrow. "You mean those three?"
At that, the flags froze for a moment before three young children burst out of the bushes and started to run back into the forest. "She figured it out! Run!"
"H-Hey! Don't run away!" Usopp shouted after them in panic.
"...They were just kids?" The cow-clad boy asked, watching them run with an arched eyebrow.
"Hey, look," Nami suddenly said. The three boys turned around to face her and saw that she was holding up a small, metal ball. Probably what Usopp had flung at them before. "I've never heard of a pirate using pachinko before."
Lambo frowned. "Pachinko? He threw pinballs at us?"
"This guy sure is interesting, huh?" Luffy grinned.
Lambo glanced at him. "No, I'd say that honor goes to you."
The other boy blinked in confusion. "Eh?"
"Well, it doesn't look like he's much of a threat," Zoro said, sheathing this sword.
"H-Hey, you! Don't make fun of me!" Usopp shouted down at them, rummaging through his bag. "I'm a man of pride!"
"A slingshot?" Lambo observed as the long-nosed boy took the item out of his bag. "I take it back, he is pretty weird..."
"And it's because of that great pride that I've earned the title 'Usopp the Proud!' I'll have you know that my skills with a slingshot are better than any pistol!"
"A pistol, huh?" Luffy suddenly spoke up, his hat casting a shadow over his face. As he did, the atmosphere around the five of them suddenly grew tense. "Are you ready to bet your life on it, then?"
"M-My life?" Usopp stuttered fearfully, hands holding the slingshot starting to tremble.
"They aren't meant for just scaring people, you know," the straw-hat wearing pirate continued.
While Nami and Lambo watched the scene in confusion, Zoro seemed to catch on. He glanced at the both of them before turning back towards Usopp.
"This guy here," he spoke, motioning towards Luffy. "He's a real pirate."
After he spoke those words, everything went silent. Everyone watched as Luffy and Usopp continued their standoff, while all around them the flags fell down to the ground.
...
...
...
...
...
After what seemed like an eternity, the slingshot and pachinko both clattered to the ground. Usopp followed soon afterwards, falling on his butt and exhaling the breath he had been holding.
"Real pirates are scarier than I thought," he mumbled, loud enough for them to hear.
Luffy and Zoro glanced at each other before suddenly bursting out in laughter, prompting the long-nosed boy to look at them in confusion.
"Sorry, I was just copying what I heard someone say a long time ago," Luffy admitted, smiling. "From a pirate I know."
"Ah, so that's it," Nami said as she and Lambo glanced at each other in understanding. "Nearly had me fooled."
"Me too..." The cow-boy admitted before looking back at the young captain. "Hey, who did you hear that from anyway? It was a pretty cool line."
"It was, wasn't it? I heard it from Shanks!"
"Shanks again, huh? You must really look up to that guy."
"W-Wait, did you just say Shanks?!" Usopp interrupted, gaping. "As in Red-Haired Shanks?! The famous pirate?!"
Luffy nodded. "Yeah! By the way, does your dad happen to be Yasopp?"
Usopp blinked. "Eh?" There was a pause before his eyes went as wide as saucers. "WHAT?!"
Lambo winced as the boy slipped and tumbled down the cliff, landing on his back. "...You know him, Luffy?'
Luffy shook his head negatively. "No. But I know his dad."
"Do you really know my dad?!" Usopp exclaimed as he picked himself up. It was then that he remembered that he was speaking to a group of possibly dangerous pirates and he stepped back, continuing in a more hesitant tone. "Um... So... How do you know him?" Before anyone could reply, there was a familiar, monsterous rumbling sound, which caused the long-nosed boy to look around wildly. "Wh-What was that?!"
Luffy put a hand on his stomach unhappily. "I'm hungry..."
"THAT WAS YOUR STOMACH?!"
"...Any place we can eat and talk?" Lambo asked, trying to keep himself from giving yet another sigh.
Twenty minutes later and the four pirates were eating at a local restaurant along with Usopp. The ice had been succesfully broken between them and now they were conversing as if their previous confrontation never happened.
"Pretty good, right?" Usopp asked as Luffy stuffed his face with as much food as he could fit into it.
"It's awesome!"
'I'm starting to think he's secretly just an abyss on the inside...' Lambo thought with half-lidded eyes as he watched his captain practically inhale everything edible. He then decided that it was time to get back to the matter at hand. "So, Luffy, how do you know this guy's father?"
"I met him when I was a kid," Luffy started. How he could talk with a mouth full of food would forever be a mystery to Lambo. "He's in Shanks' crew."
"I can't believe my dad was on Shanks' crew this whole time!" Usopp said happily. "But how did you know I was his son?"
"Well, you look a lot like him. And he talked about you a lot, so I remember your name, too."
"You said Shanks was famous, right?" Zoro asked. "If this Yasopp guy is in his crew, he must be pretty strong, right?"
"Yeah, what was he like?" Lambo asked interestedly.
"Oh, well he was really great with a pistol. He was Shanks' sharpshooter!"
"Really?!" Usopp exclaimed eagerly.
"Yeah! He's probably still in Shanks' crew. Yasopp's a great pirate!"
"He is, isn't he?! I always knew he was a really great pirate! Disregarding his own life to go sailing around the world... I'm so proud of him!"
"Hey, this makes it easier for us, doesn't it?" Nami spoke up suddenly. "Is there any place around here where we can get a ship?"
"Well... This is a pretty small village, as you can see..." He gave a smile and shrug. "Sorry, but there's no way you can find a ship anywhere around here."
"What about over there?" Zoro asked, motioning out the window.
Lambo followed his gaze to see a rather large building a little ways away from the village, just visible on a hill. "That's a pretty big mansion for such a small village." He looked at Usopp questioningly. "And you said that there was no one around here who could help?"
"Hey, do you know the people who live there?" Nami asked the long-nosed boy excitedly. "Maybe we could ask them for some money for a ship!"
"N-No!" Usopp suddenly shouted, bursting out of his chair and slamming both hands on the table, startling them all. "You can't go there!"
The pirates all stared at him. "...Huh?"
Usopp froze for a few seconds before turning to the side and trying to act natural. "U-Uh, I mean... I-I suddenly remembered! Th-There's somewhere I have to go right now! The owner's a friend of mine, so just go ahead and order anything you want. W-Well, I'll be on my way!"
"Well, that as weird..." Nami said as they watched the boy rush out of the restaurant, not looking back.
"Yare, yare..." Lambo turned back to Luffy. "What'll we do, Captain?"
Luffy seemed to think for a moment before standing up and grinning. "I think we should go to that mansion!" He then plopped back down onto his chair and grabbed some more meat. "After we finish eating!"
"Agreed," Zoro said, grabbing an apple.
Lambo stared at them for a second before sighing and reaching for some grapes. "Fine, fine."
Nami just looked at them. "...Seriously?"
About six minutes later, the four pirates were almost finished eating and ready to go towards the aforementioned mansion. It was then, however, that the front door suddenly burst open and there was a shout of "The Usopp Pirates are here!"
"What's going on?" Nami asked as they all turned to look at the commotion.
"It's a bunch of kids," Lambo said, frowning. "I think they're the same ones from the cliff."
There were in fact three little boys there, all with wooden swords raised in the air. The thing that stood out most about them were their hairstyles. One's hair resembled a green pepper, the second's resembled an onion, and the third's a carrot. All in all, pretty weird, but Lambo had seen stranger things up to this point and was able to bounce back from the sight pretty quickly.
"Huh?" One of them said as they looked around in confusion. "The captain's not here..."
"Hey, you!" The pepper-haired one shouted as they made their way over to the four pirates. "Where's our captain?! What did you do to him?!"
"That was some good meat!" Luffy exclaimed happily, apparently ignoring the three kids.
They instantly looked at him fearfully. "M-Meat? Don't tell me our captain was..."
At this, Zoro smirked and Nami started to snicker. Lambo just cast them a half-lidded look as he mentally weighed the pros and cons of going along with it.
"Wh-What did you do?!"
"Your captain..." Zoro said, his smirk turning more malicious by the second. "We ate him."
The three children stared at him in absolute horror before pointing at Nami and shouting, "AAAAAH! WITCH!"
The girl blinked before glaring at them. "Hey! Why are you pointing at me?!"
"Yare, yare," Lambo said, bringing their attention to him. "If it makes you feel any better, he didn't taste that good. I guess we cooked him for too long..."
"C-Cooked him..." And with that, all three children fell backwards onto the floor, not moving.
Zoro arched an eyebrow and nudged one of them with his foot. "Looks like they passed out."
Lambo sweatdropped. "Maybe we went to far?"
Nami glared at him. "It's because you guys were so stupid!"
"Weren't you laughing, though?"
"Sh-Shut up!"
Luffy looked at them and blinked. "Wait, what happened?"
"That was a really nasty joke, you know," the carrot-haired boy, Ninjin, said as the children led the four pirates towards the mansion.
"Sorry, sorry," Lambo said, rubbing the back of his head with his hand. "Didn't mean to make you pass out..."
Finally reaching the mansion, Luffy gaped at it. "Whoa! This place is HUGE!"
Lambo examined the building as well. It was pretty big, sure, but nowhere near as big as the Vongola Mansion, so it didn't leave much of an impression on him.
"Fancy," Nami commented. "Are you sure Usopp's here?"
"Yeah. Captain Usopp comes here all the time."
"Why would he come to a place like this?" Zoro asked, frowning at the mansion.
"He comes here to lie," Ninjin answered.
"To lie?" Nami asked, frowning disapprovingly. "That isn't something he should be doing!"
The pepper-haired boy, whose name was Piiman, shook his head vigorously. "There's nothing wrong with it! It's different, right?" He looked at his friends, who both nodded.
"Aren't you being a bit hypocritical, Miss Pirate Thief?" Lambo asked, smirking slightly.
"I don't wanna hear that from you, Mafia-Boy!"
"Hey, I haven't-"
"So, what did you mean by that?" Zoro asked, cutting off the brewing argument.
"He comes here to visit Miss Kaya," Piiman said. "She's been really weak and depressed ever since her parents died a year ago."
"So the captain comes here and tells her stories to make her laugh," the onion-haired boy, Tamanegi, added with a smile. "He's the best liar in the whole village!"
"Oh, so he's a good guy," Luffy said, nodding.
"He is! I like the way he always sticks his nose in everyone's business!" Ninjin said, smiling.
"I like the way he overreacts to everything!" Piiman added.
"I like the way he lies!" Tamanegi finished.
'None of those are even good qualities...' Lambo thought to himself, but decided against voicing his opinion.
"And has he cheered this lady up?" Nami asked curiously.
"Yeah!"
"Great!" Luffy exclaimed excitedly. "Then let's go ask her for a ship!"
Lambo looked at him in disbelief. "Luffy, do you really think she's just going to give a ship to a bunch of strangers? Pirates for that matter?"
"We won't know until we try!"
"How the heck are you so optimistic...?"
"That's impossible," one of the children said. "The guards will never let you in!"
"Really? That will be a problem..." Nami admitted, frowning.
"Why? We can beat them easily," Zoro said, shrugging.
"You can't just go around beating up everyone, you idiot!"
Lambo watched them argue for a few seconds before turning back to talk to Luffy, only to blink when he realized that he was no longer there. Looking around, he quickly spotted him hanging onto the metal gate surrounding the building, apparently having climbed up it while they weren't looking.
'Whoa, Shells Town flashbacks,' he thought, while out loud he said, "Luffy, what are you doing?"
Luffy grinned back at him. "We can get in from here!" Keeping his hands firmly grasping the gate, he jumped back down onto the ground, allowing his arms to stretch with him.
"Wha-What's wrong with him?! He stretched his arms all the way up there!" Piiman shouted in shock as the three boys stared in horror.
"Gomu Gomu no..." Luffy started as his three crewmates panicked and hurried to grab him. The kids, despite their fear, hurried to grab on too.
"SORRY TO INTRUUUUUUUUDE!"
And with that, the seven of them were sent flying over the gate.
"Successful entry!" Luffy said, his voice muffled due to the fact that he had landed face first into the concrete.
Nami, who had landed on the grass with little to no injuries, glared at him and shouted, "NO IT WASN'T!"
Lambo, who had landed in the bushes along with the three kids, pushed himself up and groaned. "Ow... We need better break in plans... You guys okay?"
"Ugh... Yeah, we're fine..." Zoro said, sitting up and rubbing the back of his head.
Lambo blinked and stared at the ruined pavement that the other two boys landed on. "...How the hell do you not have a concussion, Zoro?"
"E-Excuse me!" A feminine voice suddenly called out. They all turned to the source to see a pale, blonde girl wearing a white dress standing behind one of the windows in front of the tree where Usopp was sitting. Both were looking at them in alarm. "Are you alright?"
"D-Don't worry!" Usopp said quickly, cutting off anything they could say. "Th-These guys probably just heard about how great I was and came to join my crew!"
"No, we came to ask you a favor," Luffy said, pointing at the blonde woman, who Lambo assumed had to be Kaya.
"Me?" The girl asked, confused.
"Yeah! See, we need a ship and-"
"You there!" A new, male voice shouted at them. "What are you doing here?"
"Klahadore!" Kaya exclaimed as they all turned to see who it was.
The only way Lambo could think of to describe his appearance was butler-like, and he most likely was one of Kaya's butlers. Black hair sleeked back, a black suit, and glasses. He was pretty much the physical representation of what Lambo had always imagined a butler to look like when he was a child.
"You're trespassing," the man said sternly, looking at them all as he used the palm of his hand to push his glasses up.
"Who's that guy?" Luffy asked, tilting his head.
"The butler, probably," Lambo answered as the man continued to stare at them with calm, ice cold eyes.
Lambo quickly decided that he didn't like this man.