Well, a lot has happened since Iast updated. I'm alive, I promise! Apologies this took so long.
Trigger warnings for self harm/drug addiction/sexual assault are in place for this chapter. It's a darker one - sorry!
Anyways, enjoy.
Amelia POV
I want Derek, I want Ryan. I want Christopher. I want to get high. I want to go back to not knowing. I was finally pulling myself together. After 20 years, I finally allowed myself to be happy and then bam. Just like that, he's back in my life. Only this time, it's like he's torturing me from beyond the grave. I don't get it. I don't understand what I could have done to deserve this pain. I haven't slept for days, literally. I pretend I do, but I don't. I'm dizzy constantly, I keep thinking I see his face. Hallucinations are a fairly common reaction to sleep deprivation, but that doesn't mean I can do anything about it. Any normal person would go to a doctor, get prescribed a sleeping pill, but I can't do that, no matter how much I want to.
I think about waking Arizona, but she will just spend her time worrying about me, wanting to comfort me and that's not what I need. Everything and everyone I want right now, I cannot have. I grab my bag with my art supplies, throwing in my phone and it's charger. I collect my tooth brush and some toothpaste and leave a note for Arizona on the kitchen table. 'Needed some space from my thoughts. I have my phone with me. I'm okay. - A' I leave the apartment quietly to not wake anyone up and I walk, constantly terrified of what may be around each corner, even more terrified at the notion of not knowing what is real and what is in my mind.
I keep walking until I see the glowing lights of a motel. My legs hurt. I'm so tired, I don't think I can make it any further. This place, in a weird way, it reminds me of the place Ryan died. I push that thought from my mind, walking into the reception and paying for a room.
My ears are ringing, my head is pounding. It feels like the world is spinning around me. I can't find my way out. I want to go home.
Arizona POV
My heart is pounding. I don't know what time she left, but it's been five hours since I had woken up and she hasn't come home yet. What if something bad happened to her? What if she is high, or drunk. What if she has cut too deep and there is nobody who can fix her. I have called Meredith and Maggie, but they haven't seen her. I stop by the hospital, but she has apparently called in sick so the next few days. I have tried to wait it out, I have tried to give her time to do whatever she needs to do, time to process her emotions but I'm scared for her.
Despite my better judgement, I go back home and open Amelia's laptop, typing in her password and open the find my phone function, hoping she has set it up. I take a breath of relief as I see the little flashing dot appear on the screen. She appears to be in a motel around a 20 minute drive from here. It must have taken her at least two and a half hours to walk there. I collect the first aid kit from the cupboard, hoping I won't need it but having no clue what to expect when I get there. I try calling her once more on my way to the car but I still get no response. I try to stay calm, I tell myself there is no point worrying until I know what I'm dealing with.
When I arrive at the motel, I immediately run to reception, trying my hardest to hold back my emotions. When I ask for Amelia's room, they give me some rehearsed speech about privacy.
"My girlfriend is in a room at your motel. She has mental health problems and disappeared in the middle of the night. Unless you want me to call the police, I need you to take me to her room. Please." I beg and the lady behind the desk sighs quietly and leads the way. When I knock on the door, I get no response. The employee opens the door for me and I see Amelia passed out on the floor.
"Amelia!" I panic, rushing to her side. I take a look around the room checking for drugs or alcohol but come up empty, the only thing I see is her backpack and a bottle of water.
I check her pulse, sighing in relief as I feel a normal rhythm. "Amelia, sweetie, wake up for me. Please." I beg, but I see no change. I watch as the motel employee calls 911. I reach into my pocket, pulling out my phone before calling Meredith, telling her what's happening. She agrees to meet us in the ER, to have a side room waiting. When the paramedics arrive, I brief them on the situation, telling them there are no signs of trauma, her pulse is steady, pupillary response is normal but no signs of consciousness. I insist on riding in the ambulance with her, not wanting to leave her side. I hold her hand and wait. Simply hoping she hasn't taken anything to cause this.
When we arrive at Grey Sloan, I do my best to disguise who she is, knowing she wouldn't want all our coworkers and the interns/residents gossiping about her personal life. Meredith helps us into a room, waiting until everyone had left before placing a gentle hand on my arm.
"Arizona, what happened?"
"I- I don't know. She disappeared in the night. I tracked her phone and when I found her she wouldn't wake up. I can't wake her up." I panic and Meredith wraps her arms around my body.
"She's going to be okay, Arizona."
I nod into her embrace, hoping that she is right.
"Can you find Webber? She trusts him and he knows bits and pieces from AA." I ask Meredith, knowing that neither me nor her can be Amelia's doctor and she nods.
"I'll find him. Do you need anything?"
"I need her. I need Amelia." I tell my friend, turning to Amelia who is laid in the hospital bed. "I need you Amelia, I need you to wake up, please."
"Robbins, what happened? Is she okay?"
"I don't know. I found her like this. She's been having a hard time recently and then she disappeared and I found her like this. I uh, I think we should do a tox screen, make sure she hasn't taken anything. I didn't see any evidence of anything, but just to be sure."
"Of course. I uh, I'll do it now. I'll send some nurses in, so we can get her into a hospital gown and make sure there's nothing else going on."
"Richard, she erm she-" I stammer, hating that I'm going to have to break Amelia's trust like this. "She self harms, she has done for a long time. She wouldn't want nurses seeing that."
"Okay, I'll get Meredith to come help."
"She doesn't know either. Amelia doesn't want her to know."
"Okay. Who does know?"
"Just me, her therapist and Addison."
"Okay. Let me find a gown and I'll let you change her. Anything else?"
"She told me you know about her attack when she was younger, she said she talked about it in AA. She uh, still has panic attacks, so if she wakes up while I'm changing her clothes she may have a panic attack." I try to explain.
"Okay, she's going to be okay."
I take the gown Richard had passed to me and begin to remove Amelia's clothing. I opt to leave her bra and panties on. She would only panic if she woke up without them. I make sure to tell Richard this information as if she needed any scans, the metal wire in her bra may cause problems. When I remove her sweat pants I'm grateful to see no new damage, no open cuts. It does leave me wondering what on earth was going through her mind.
Richard takes her blood for the toxicology report and hooks her up to IV fluids, making sure she is staying hydrated and we just have to wait.
"IT'S BEEN 8 HOURS RICHARD. NOTHING IS SHOWING UP ON ANY SCANS OR TESTS. WHY ISN'T SHE WAKING UP? WHAT'S GOING ON?"
"Arizona."
"DON'T ARIZONA ME. WHY ISN'T SHE AWAKE?"
"Arizona, she's awake. Look." Richard says, nodding toward Amelia who was beginning to blink her eyes open.
"Amelia, can you hear me?" I ask, placing my hand gently over hers. She flinches at the action so I go to pull away but she stops me, grabbing my hand and holding tight. She nods indicating she can but doesn't say anything. "Amelia, what happened? Are you in pain?" I ask, but she shakes her head indicating she is not.
"Water?" She asks and I bring the bottle with a straw to her lips, letting her take a sip.
"Amelia, have you taken anything?" Webber asks and Amelia's attention flicks toward him, she clearly hadn't realised he was in the room.
"No. Wanted to. Didn't."
"Any idea why you lost consciousness?"
"Tired."
"I know, that'll happen when you're unconscious for a day."
"No."
"What do you mean no?"
"Was tired. Hadn't slept since Friday."
"What? Amelia it's Tuesday now. How hadn't you slept?"
"Couldn't." Amelia states, her eyes beginning to water as she looks toward Richard then back to me.
"Could we have a few minutes alone?" I ask him and I feel Amelia squeeze my hand, I understood what she wanted.
"Sure, I'm going to be back in half an hour to run more tests."
"Thank you."
"What can I do?" I ask my girlfriend, using my thumb to wipe away her tears. She shuffles to the side of her bed, creating space beside her for me. I climb in, holding my arms out for her to curl up in. "I've got you, you're okay."
"What happened, Arizona?"
"I was going to ask you the same question. You were gone when I woke up. I took Sofia to school and didn't think too much of it, but it got to lunch time and you weren't back. I tried your phone, on the note you said you had it, but it just kept ringing and going to voicemail. I was scared something had happened so I tracked your phone from your laptop. When I got there you were unconscious on the floor. I couldn't get you to wake up."
"Where are my clothes?" Amelia asks me, changing the topic, but I do not rise to it.
"They were damp. It was raining last night. I can get Meredith to get my change of change of clothes from my locker if you want?" I offer, combing my fingers through her hair.
"Yeah, please. Who saw them?"
"What?"
"My legs. Who saw?" She clarifies with a shaky breath.
"Just me. I had to tell Richard though, he wanted to send nurses in to help and I told him you wouldn't want that. He didn't actually see them though."
"Okay. That's okay."
"My turn now. What happened? Why didn't you talk to me?"
"I didn't want to worry you."
"I love you Amelia, it's my job to worry about you. It's not a chore, it's a choice."
"Everytime I closed my eyes, I felt like he was on top of me. I couldn't sleep, I just couldn't, so I didn't. I uh, I guess I was so sleep deprived I started seeing him around the apartment. Hell, I hadn't slept for over 72 hours, it's not surprising but it was scary. I decided to go for a walk. Try to tire myself out so I could rest but I went to far and my legs were hurting. I couldn't go any further so I found a motel. I thought I would pass out for a few hours and then go home but uh, apparently my body had different plans. I'm sorry."
"I'm just grateful you're okay. Do you want to go back to sleep? If you didn't sleep for days, you probably need it. It's okay."
"Not here."
"Amelia, you're awake?" Meredith exclaims coming into the room loudly, making Amelia jump a little. She leans even closer into my side and I tighten my grip around her, letting her know she is safe in my arms. Meredith places what looks to be my spare clothes on the bed. "I brought you a pair of my sweatpants too, I thought they would be more comfy."
"Thank you."
"Can I sit?" She asks and Amelia nods.
"Yeah. I'm okay, sorry if I scared you."
"Have they figured out what happened?"
"Not much, just exhaustion. I just want to go home."
"Webber is going to be back soon. He wanted to run another couple of tests and then we should be able to go. Is Sofia okay" I turn to ask Meredith.
"She is fine, Maggie picked her up from school with Zola, she's okay."
Amelia POV
When Richard comes back, he asks if I'm okay if he talks in front of Meredith. I take a deep breath and nod, she may as well hear this now so I don't have to regurgitate the information later.
"Okay, considering the clean toxicology report and the lack of evidence of anything serious in the scans, you should be okay to go home later today. I want to do a follow up head CT to make sure there was no damage when you passed out, and I want you to have a psych evaluation before I let you go, but I just to make sure you're not a danger to yourself. But I'm only letting you go on account of you living with a world class surgeon, and the fact that I think being here would only make things worse. I don't think you should be left alone for the next few days. I also think you need to take a few weeks off work, I can talk to Bailey, let her know you're off sick for at least two weeks and then we can reevaluate. Would you like us to call your usual therapist for your Eval?"
"Yeah, it's Dr Anne Watson, Arizona has the number." I explain and she gets it up, passing the device to him.
"Also, this isn't official, but I want you to come to a meeting with me before going home."
"Yeah, that's uh, that's probably sensible.
"Okay, let's get you to that scan."
"Can I put on some pants first?" I ask, feeling desperately self conscious.
"Okay. Meredith, can I have a word?" He asks, stepping out of the room and taking my sister with him. I give him a small nod to say thank you. He's removing Meredith while I get changed, he's helping me keep my secret.
Arizona helps me pull on the sweat pants. My body hurts from the lack of movement. My legs ache from the amount of walking I had done in the night. My head is throbbing.
"Can you help me to the bathroom before my scan."
"Sure. Can you walk?"
"I think so." I tell my girlfriend but then I remember her leg, if I fall she may not be able to catch. "Maybe get Meredith to walk on the other side incase?"
Arizona steps out of the room to find Meredith. I look around, seeing my backpack by the side of the bed. I. Reach for it, pulling it up to the bed so I can retrieve my phone. When I open it, I see tonnes of missed calls and worried messages from Arizona. I swipe them all away before looking at the time. It's 5pm. I left the apartment at around 2am. I was probably unconscious for around twelve hours in total. I feel so guilty, I can't imagine the stress I put her through. I put my phone back down as my girlfriend and sister head into the room.
"Can you remove the cannula from the arm please?"
"Leave it there in case you need anything else doing, we will just detach you from the drip, it's empty anyway." Meredith explains disconnecting the device.
"Arizona, it makes the cravings worse. Please."
"Okay, I'll remove it. But if you need another one, no fighting."
"I know. Thank you."
Arizona carefully removes the fixation tape before removing the small tube from my arm. I look away, not wanting to see it. Even the sensation of the removal makes me think of drugs.
"Thank you." I say quietly as she wipes the small droplet of blood that had appeared.
I gradually make my way to the bathroom, trying to avoid making eye contact with anyone, although I'm sure several people see me. My legs shake a little, but I manage to stay upright. I focus on my steps, one at a time until I reach my destination.
"You okay?" My girlfriend asks, closing the door behind us so Meredith can't come in.
"Just embarrassed that I let things go this far. I didn't think things could get this bad." I mumble as Arizona turns around, giving me a little privacy while I use the toilet. "You don't have to turn around, It's not like I'm hiding anything from you."
"I didn't want you to feel self conscious."
"I don't. Not with you anyway."
Arizona slowly turns back around, trying not to directly look at me, I get it. It's instinctual. I wash my hands before looping my arm back around Arizona's waist to walk back to my room. Meredith joins quickly on my other side, making sure I do not fall. "I feel dizzy."
"That's okay, we've got you. Just a few more steps." Meredith says confidently, gripping me a little tighter.
"I think I need food. My blood sugars will be dropping."
"You're a patient, not a doctor right now Amelia. Let me do a BP check." my sister instructs, pulling the machine to my side. I hold out my arm as she puts the cuff on me and begins to inflate it. "113/65, it's a little low."
"That's normal for me. I've always had low blood pressure. So did Derek. I just need something to eat, I'm okay." I reiterate and I hear Arizona laugh lightly, it's a beautiful sound that I didn't know I needed to hear right now. "What's funny?"
"You. I'll go find you something to eat."
"Don't leave, please." I beg, suddenly feeling anxious to be left without her by my side.
"I'll go find food, you stay." Mer tells Arizona who appears quickly back by my side. I wait until Meredith has left the room before turning to look at my girlfriend.
"Sorry, I just, I need you here with me. I know I pretend to be strong, but I'm not. I need you. I'm scared." I admit, my body beginning to quiver.
"I'm here. You're okay. Nothing to be scared of."
"I'm so tired, but I can't go to sleep here. What about the nightmares?"
"I know, you're going for a CT in a few minutes anyway so you have to stay awake, but when we are back here I can hold you for as long as you need. I'm not going to let anything happen to you."
"I know."
I decide to use a wheelchair to go for the scan. I'm too tired to walk far and it would take much longer. Plus, the longer it takes, the more people are likely to pay attention and realise who I am. I keep my breathing controlled while I'm in the CT scanner. It's the furthest I've been from Arizona since I woke up but I try to stay calm. I'm okay.
Once the scan is done, I ask to see them. They tell me it's all clear but I need to see that for myself. Sure enough, the scan shows nothing. And I am taken back to my room. "I called Dr Watson, she said she would be here in about an hour. Provided she says you're okay I'm prepared to release you tonight." Richard explains and I nod showing my understanding. "I have also spoken to Dr Bailey, she wants to see you before you go."
"Okay." I nod in agreement, knowing there is no use in fighting it. I got myself into this mess and now I have to deal with the consequences.
"I'm going to leave you to get a little rest."
"Thanks."
With no communication needed, Arizona pulls back the blankets on the bed and climbs back in by my side. We quickly settle back into our usual position, Arizona has one of her arms wrapped around my body while the other is gently stroking through my hair. I rest my head in the crook of her neck and simply try to breathe.
"I'm sorry I put you through this." I tell her and I feel her shake her head.
"It's okay. You didn't mean for this to happen and I love you."
"I know. But this is a lot, and you're allowed to have feelings too. I know this can't have been easy on you."
"I'm okay now you're awake. Finding you passed out on the floor like that, I thought you were dead, I was scared I was going to lose you. But I'm okay now you're here."
"I'm sorry. I didn't want to scare you or Sof, that's part of why I left."
"And the other part?"
"I kept seeing him everywhere and a part of me thought, if I could see him, maybe I could see Derek, or Ryan, or my Dad. It sounds delusional now that I've slept a little but I wanted to see them."
"I wish I could bring them back for you." Arizona says softly and I yawn into our embrace. "Go to sleep, I'll wake you if you have a nightmare, I'll keep you safe."
"Amelia, wake up." I hear Arizona whisper, her hand rubbing lightly on my arm. When I look at my girlfriend wondering why she is waking me, she nods toward the door where Meredith is standing.
"Dr Watson is here"
"Okay, I'm awake." I nod, brushing my hair away from my face as my therapist walks into the room. "Mer, can Sof sleep at yours tonight please?" I ask my sister in law.
"I presumed she would be anyway, don't worry about it."
"Thank you."
Arizona begins to untangle herself from my arms to get out of the bed while the psychologist is in the room but Anne stops her. "You can stay there if you want, if Amelia feels more comfortable like that it's okay."
"Amy?"
"I thought she would have to leave. Psych evals are supposed to be one on one." I state, a little confused about the situation.
"Would you prefer to be alone?"
"No"
"You're right, protocol states you should be alone, but that protocol is designed presuming I've never met you before. In your specific case, I know you tend to be more comfortable with Arizona here. Because of that, I'm willing to overlook that little detail if you are. "
"You can stay here, you're more comfortable than the hospital bed." I tell Arizona with a small smile, breathing a sigh of relief that I won't have to be alone right now.
"So, Amelia, where do you want to start?"
"Last Wednesday. I was watching the news and a story came on about a serial rapist that died in prison. They showed his picture and it was him."
"How did you know? It's been a long time." I reach down to the side of the bed, grabbing my backpack and pulling out one of the old sketchbooks. I open it and skim through the pages until I find one of him.
"His face has been haunting me for 20 years." I get my phone from the bag and open Google, searching his name and showing her the comparison. "It's him."
"Okay. Then what happened?"
"I had a panic attack, I cried for a few hours and then I was okay. I was just numb."
"Numb?"
"When stuff like this happens, I tend to go numb for a while before it really sinks in. It's always been like that, as long as I can remember."
"Then what?"
"A little after 4am on Friday I woke up from a nightmare and I wasn't numb anymore. Everything hurt."
"What did you do?"
"I woke Arizona."
"Did that help?"
"Yeah."
"What happened between then and now?"
"Every time I went to sleep I was having nightmares. I woke Arizona the first few times but I felt bad so I decided to just get up. I was okay until it was time to go to sleep again on Friday night. I woke Arizona after a nightmare, and it wasn't even midnight by the time I had had my second nightmare. Every time I closed my eyes it was like I was trapped beneath him and I just couldn't bring myself to go to sleep. "
"How long did that last?"
"Until today. But erm, yesterday night, I started seeing him when I wasn't asleep. Like I know hallucinations are common with sleep deprivation but it felt so real. I didn't want to scare Arizona or Sofia so I went out at about 2am. I just kept walking until I couldn't walk anymore. I ended up at a motel I guess I passed out there."
"Have you had any hallucinations since waking up?"
"No. Everything's normal, I'm just tired."
"Okay. How did all this make you feel?"
"Like I was going crazy. I should be able to control myself but I can't. And guilty I guess, for worrying Arizona and Meredith."
"You're not crazy, Amelia. But I do think you're struggling with PTSD. I know it sounds scary to put a label on it, but it's nothing to be ashamed of." I hear Anne tell me and I sigh. It makes sense. I can't say I haven't thought about that myself. The nightmares, the flash backs, the panic attacks. It makes sense. "Amelia, did you hear what I said?"
"Yeah, that uh, that makes a lot of sense."
"Have you had any new suicidal thoughts?" she asks and I shake my head indicating I have not. "What about the self-harming?"
"I haven't. I wanted to, but I haven't."
"That's really good, Amelia"
"So now we have to decide what to do about it." Anne continues. "I would like to see you a little more often these next few weeks and I would like to trial you on an anti-anxiety medication."
"I'm not comfortable with that. I'm an addict, I don't even take Tylenol when I have a headache."
"I know, have you heard of buspirone?"
"Heard of it but don't know much about it."
"It's not known to cause dependence like most anti anxiety medications. I do think it would be beneficial for you to try."
"Could you go get Webber please Az?" I ask my girlfriend. She climbs out of the bed and steps outside to find him for me, fortunately he can't have been far as Arizona is back with him just a few seconds later.
"Sorry what's happening?" My therapist asks.
"Dr Webber, he is my doctor but also a friend. I want to talk to him before I agree to take any new medications." I try to explain without breaking his anonymity.
"She wants to discuss this with another addict." Richard explains simply, clearly not worried about Dr Watson finding out his personal details. "So what's going on?" He asks, sitting on the edge of the bed.
"Dr Watson recommended trying buspirone for the anxiety, she said it's not addictive but uh."
"You're still worried it'll trigger cravings?" He finishes for me and I nod. "AA has no problems with prescription meds as long as they're used as prescribed."
"I know. But I also don't think I could trust myself."
"Amelia, you work in a building full of pills, and somehow you stay clean every day. I think you have more self-control than you realise. But if you're worried, I would advise Arizona looks after them for you and gives you them as needed. In the past when I've needed medication, that's what worked for me."
"Okay. I'll try that, if that's okay with you?" I ask Arizona who squeezes my hand and nods.
"Of course."
"Dr Watson, would you mind if I started on the discharge papers? I think keeping her in the hospital is doing more harm that good"
"I think that would be sensible. Amelia, you had an appointment with me tomorrow anyway, I would still like to see you there please." She explains, taking out her prescription pad from her handbag and writing one out, passing it to Arizona. "Start these tonight if possible. Any side effects, then stop taking them. You're both doctors, I think you can handle that."
"Thank you."
"Look after yourself, Amelia. I'll see you tomorrow."
"You okay?" Richard asks me once she has left.
"I uh, I just need a minute." I say quietly and Arizona sits back by my side as I wipe my eyes.
"What's going on?" Arizona asks, placing a kiss on my forehead.
"Just tired and overwhelmed with everything and I'm craving." I express through shaky breaths.
"You're okay. Deep breaths, don't hyperventilate, just keep breathing."
"I'm going to give you a little space, start on your discharge papers. Want me to fill that prescription?" I hear Richard ask us and Arizona thanks him, passing it to him me as he leaves the room.
"It's almost over. Almost time to go home. Have a sip of water." She instructs, passing me the bottle. "I know you're tired, it's okay."
"Can you pass me the Sweater?" I ask, having only put on pants earlier to cover my legs, I hadn't changed out of the hospital gown. I lean forward for Arizona to unfasten the ties on the gown, allowing me to remove it and pull the sweater over my head to replace it. I shuffle across the bed a little to create more space for my girlfriend to hold me. She takes the hint and lifts her legs up again, twisting back into the position we were in before she left. "What can I do?"
"You're here. You're helping.
About half an hour passes before I hear a knock on the door and twist in Arizona's arms to see Chief Bailey walk in. Normally I would be embarrassed for her to see me like this but I'm so tired I can't bring myself to care.
"Shepherd, Webber asked me to bring these." She explains, holding a prescription bag. I take them but immediately pass them to Arizona, not wanting to have drugs in my reach. "He said he's put you on sick leave for a few weeks. You okay?"
"Not right now, but I will be." I state, looking toward her as I see her pick up my open sketch book. "Could you close that please?" I ask as softly as I can, seeing the drawing of his face that I had shown Anne.
"Sorry, I didn't know it was private." she explains, putting the book down. "Robbins, could you give us a minute?" Bailey asks and Arizona looks at me for permission.
"It's okay. Can you see how long Webber is going to be with the discharge papers?" I ask her, giving her something to do while she is gone.
"Richard said you needed Mental Health leave. I just wanted to check in."
"The man who raped me, the guy in the drawing you saw, he died and it triggered some stuff, but I'm working through it. I passed out after not sleeping for almost four days."
"Around the time you came to Grey Sloan, I was diagnosed with OCD. Things got bad, I was having panic attacks in the hospital. I had to take some time off work, I get it. It's managed now with medication, but I still have bad days.
"I just got told I have PTSD. It makes sense, I've been having panic attacks for years, but it's still big."
"Is that what the meds are for?"
"Yeah."
"Take some time to look after yourself. Putting your mental health first is nothing to be ashamed of Shepherd."
"I know."
"I'm around if you need anything.
"Thank you."
Arizona and Webber step in almost immediately after Bailey steps out.
"You are going to a meeting with Richard while Meredith takes me to get my car, then we are going to go home." Arizona instructs but I shake my head.
"Can I go to a meeting tomorrow instead? I feel nauseous and dizzy. I just want my bed."
"Are you sure you don't want to stay here another night? Make sure you don't pass out again?"
"It'd just make things worse. I want to go home."
"Tomorrow, 9am. I'll pick you up at 8:30."
"Okay."
"Let's go home."
Richard and Arizona walk me to the entrance where Meredith is waiting with the car. They open the door and I shuffle across the back seats, Arizona sliding in next to me. "Look after her, Arizona." Richard instructs my girlfriend and she nods as I lean into her side.
"I will."