Here's my rewrite of the Buffy classic...
Tabula Rasa!
Prologue
Buffy Anne Summers was walking through one of Sunnydales many cemeteries when she heard something.
She turned round already knowing it was the pain in the backside, Spike.
"Can we talk?"
"Vocal cord-wise yes. With each other? No"
Buffy turns away and walks a few steps.
"We have to talk" Spike argued.
Buffy sighed, "About what?"
"We kissed, Buffy"
"So?" Buffy carried on walking with Spike a few paces behind her.
"We... We kissed you and me. All gone with the wind, with the rising music... and the rising...
Music and what was that Buffy?" Spike was now struggling to keep up as Buffy quickened her pace.
"A spell?" Buffy offered.
"Oh don't get all prim and proppa with me pet" Spike now walked in front of Buffy to make her stop.
Buffy stopped walking and was now looking into Spike's eyes.
Suddenly, Buffy grabbed Spike's arm and pulled him to the ground they both lay there with Buffy on top of Spike. A stake went flying through the air where Spike was standing and got stuck in a tree. Both Buffy and Spike looked up and saw a demon with the head of a shark and his minion vampires all stood there.
"Easy boys', no need to get physical-like." The demon chuckled to himself and Buffy and Spike both stood up, looking very annoyed.
"Is there, mister Spike?" The demon said finishing his sentence.
"You know this guy!" Buffy looking at Spike already knowing the answer.
"Yeah," Spike now turned his attention to the demon. "Whadda want?"
The demon walked forward to answer Spike's question and to pull the stake out of the tree.
" You know me, uh... there's a lot of things i would like mister Spike, a house in Bel Air with a generously sized swimming pool... and of course, the forty Siamese you owe me."
The demon put his arm around Spike's neck and pulls him closer.
"Take it easy, you'll get your kittens."
"I trust you mister Spike."
"What's with you guys? Why kittens? Why can't you use money like everybody else?" Buffy said rolling her eyes.
"She's funny, I like funny in a girl." the shark demon said, again chuckling amongst himself.
"I just need more time" Spike said changing the subject off Buffy.
"Time, time, time, is what turns kittens into cats."
The shark demon was annoyed by now.
The demon walked a way and the vampires attacked. Buffy fought them off and Spike was gone.
"I said she was the slayer boss." One vampire said.
"AH good for you, have you every thought of a little freelance work? Debt collecting perhaps?"
"No thank you." Buffy said giving the vampires her no-nonsense look.
"Alright, that's what I get for socializing,
"Boss Spike's split"
"Come on boys we'll find mister Spike and "talk" to him a little more"
With that the demon and his vamps went.
Buffy was left alone again, "If I was to stop saving his life, it would simplify things up so much."