Alex had spent the next few minutes describing the process that allowed him to survive on Antar. He had told the group that it could not be done again, seeing the look that crossed Liz's eyes. She wanted to go with Max to Antar if he chose to go. Nasaedo was the only alien alive on Earth that knew how to successfully do that process, now that he was gone, no other human would be able to go to Antar. He told the humans to go home for the day, Tess needed rest, and they'd get no other information from him. They did just that, the aliens however, stayed at Michael's. Alex had told them that Tess had been having nightmares since she was recovered on Antar; what ever it was that Kivar had done to her had stuck with her. She barely made it a few days without having a nightmare. That was why he had been pausing so much during the story, he was listening for signs of the beginning of a nightmare, maybe he could wake her before it got to bad. But they usually always snuck up on her.
Max looked down at his son, sleeping in his arms, before looking up to the door where Tess was sleeping. He stood and moved towards the room. If Alex noticed his absence he said nothing, just continued telling Isabel and Michael all about Antar. It was a secret hope of Alex's that Max would realize just how special Tess was, he knew that, no matter how much Liz loved him, she would have never been able to go through what Tess went through for them.
As quietly as possible, Max peeked into the bedroom, Tess was asleep. Letting out a sigh of relief, Max snuck into the room, laying Zan down in the makeshift crib that Tess had made. It was a good distance away from the bed, obviously Tess knew about her nightmares and feared for Zan's safety.
After making sure that Zan was comfortable, Max tip toed over and sat in a chair next to the bed, just watching over Tess as she slept. He sighed, thinking about all that he had just learned about Tess. He hated himself, how could he have threatened her, how could he have not gone with her to Antar?
He knew why. He had wanted to be human so much that he completely tried to shut out anything alien, including Tess. To him, Liz was the human part he longed to have, but Tess was the alien side he had inside, the half alien hybrid…
And that was when he realized, Tess was just like him. With Liz, he had never been able to be himself, he had always had to hide his alien side. Liz loved that side of him the most…that was probably what got her interested in him to begin with. He recalled something Tess had said during their week together. They had been lying in the park, watching the stars when the topic of how Liz found out about the aliens came up. Upon talking about it, Max realized Liz never even knew that he existed till he healed her. Once she found out that he was part alien, she became very interested.
'Sounds like she wanted to study you.' Tess had said, and Max found himself thinking maybe she was right. Liz only ever noticed him and spent time with him after discovering that he was an alien. And even then, when he had told her not to tell anyone, she told Maria.
As he sat watching Tess' slow breathing, he began to notice just how much he shouldn't have trusted Liz. She had done a lot of things that had let their secret out to other, betrayed his trust. But Tess, she never once did anything, even when she was 'with' Kyle in the beginning, to let the secret out. And then, when it came down to the accusation that Tess killed Alex, Max started to believe it.
He shook his head. When was with Liz, it was as if he could never be 'with' her. She was human, he was half alien. But then with Tess, he never had to hide who he was, never had to hide his powers. They were both half alien, both living with the same fear of the FBI, of discovery.
He looked back to Tess, sleeping calmly but with a pained expression on her face. He moved to kneel next to the bed, brushing a piece of her golden hair from her face. He gently stroked the side of her face, "I promise Tess," he whispered to her sleeping form, "I will never let anything happen to you or Zan. Never. I'll protect you."
Her face softened as if the oncoming nightmare had passed with his fading words. He sat back on the chair, watching over Tess as he promised to do. And that was the sight he saw, the mother of his child sleeping before him, as his eyes closed in sleep.
I
I
I
The sunlight streaming into the small bedroom was what first woke Tess, but the sight before her completely brought her into consciousness. Max was hunched over in a very hard, wooden, chair, arms crossed over his chest, head drooping, asleep. There was a small drop of drool hanging off his chin, making Tess laugh for the first time in a good while.
The sound of laughing snapped Max out of his dreams of a former life, and into a small room with him sitting, very sore, on a chair. He looked up to see Tess laughing at him, and felt something cool hit his hand. Quickly, he wiped the remaining drool from the corner of his mouth, smiling at Tess.
A small gurgling noise from the corner of the room drew Tess' attention, and she immediately got up to check on Zan. She smiled as she picked up the grinning bundle, cuddling him as Max came up behind her.
"Tess," he said, "I need to know…" Tess turned to look at him questioningly, "What happened on Antar?"
Tess gasped, holding tighter to Zan, she did not need this right now. She sighed as Zan grabbed on to a golden curl, tugging on it slightly. She smiled, "You know, Zan is just like you." She said, turning to face Max. "He always wants to play with my hair."
She looked down at the little joy she held in her arms, and thought back to the one glorious week she had been able to spend with Max before it all fell to shit. They had gotten so close during that week; Max had even planned a small walk in the park. He surprised her by brining along a picnic basket and some food. That was one of the best days of her life, for once she felt perfectly at ease and content. They were lying on the grass, just under a huge willow tree near the east side of the park, just cuddling, when she felt a tug on her hair. She had looked up to see Max look away embarrassedly. He had admitted to her that her hair was beautiful, that he had found himself wanting to feel it for a while. Ever since then, whenever they were together, Max would tug gently on her hair, watching as the curls sprang into place.
Unfortunately, or fortunately for her, Zan seemed to have inherited that trait of Max's. "Tess, please," she heard Max say, "I need you to tell me."
Zan chose that moment to start to cry, and Tess took to immediately comfort him. She bobbed him up and down, walking towards a window. The cries still had not subsided when she started to sing a small Antarian lullaby. The cries died down as Max was transported to a different time, to a different life…
"Antum mei zonto ka, mi non keta. Antan neuk li dondo seri ya." Zan sang to the slightly bulging stomach of his love Ava. He was so happy, they had married a few months ago and Ava had just blessed him a few days ago with the news that he would soon be a Melek, a Father.
"Zan," Ava spoke, gently stroking his hair as he pressed an ear to her stomach. "The baby cannot hear you." She laughed slightly, "It will not develop ears for a few days now."
"I know that," Zan said, trying to sound offended, but failing miserably, "I was present during my mother's pregnancy of Lonnie." He laughed too, "I'm just so excited, I cannot wait till the child arrives."
Ava nodded, pulling her husband up from his kneeling position, "You will make a great Melek," she said, kissing him.
"And you, my love…you will be the best Kela in all of Antar." He repeated her kiss, "Just look at how you are with Gali."
Ava laughed, hugging him, "I love you Zan, you know that right?"
"Of course," Zan said, "And I you. No matter what happens with this war, I will always love you…"
Max snapped out of his memory to hear Tess whispering the last few lines of his lullaby, the one he had sang to Ava. He walked over to her quietly, placing a hand on her shoulder.
A flash overtook him, sending him flying into the side of the bed. He had seen…seen Tess tied hands above her head, back to Kivar…blood flowing down her back as Kivar raised his arm to whip her again…
"Max…"Tess whispered, shaking her head, "You shouldn't have…"
"Tess," Max said seriously, standing up, "What did he do to you?"
She looked down. She knew this was coming, and she knew that she had to tell him, it was for her people. He deserved to know the truth. She even had a sickening feeling inside that he should know about all that had happened to her, all that she had done for him. She could feel a sort of sick pleasure rising within her that she could make Max feel something about how he had treated her in the beginning and what she had done for him now. But she couldn't, she alone had to carry what had happened to her, Max didn't deserve it…
"I…" She started, "I…I can't…" She turned away from him.
"Tess, Tell me now." He said, not willing to take no for an answer.
"I can't, you don't understand…I…"
"Tess…" Max warned.
"No, don't you understand, what Kivar…"
"Tess, tell me!" Max ordered.
"No! You can't…"
"I'll get Isabel to dreamwalk you." He threatened.
"Do you really think she could dream walk me?" Tess asked, incredulously. "I was raised with my powers, practiced in them, I'm much more powerful than she is."
Max sighed frustratedly, "Tess please," he begged, "Just tell me."
Tess shook her head. "I can't Max. I honestly can't explain all of it; I don't want to, I…I don't want to relive it. Please, understand."
Her words came out so tired, so weak that Max felt guilty for having argued so forcibly with her.
"I do." He replied, patting the bed next to him. She sat down next to him, slightly surprised when Max pulled her closer to him. "I'm sorry." And he was. He was truly sorry for everything he had done to her, everything he failed her in.
"I honestly can't forgive you just like that Max," She said, sounding just as hurt as Max felt. "But I've been through too much. As much as I want to, I just can't. It…it hurts too much."
Max nodded, understanding. He deserved it, he deserved worse. They sat in silence.