Spoilers: A lot of the main points in "Hail and Farewell" have made their way into this AU. AN: Chapter one had a secret engagement. Chapter two was a surprise wedding. I wonder what chapter three could possibly be about? I had originally planned to finish this so that it would be taking place in real time (notice the dates from two years ago…), but that was wishful thinking. I do have an epilogue planned… I'll post it when I eventually get around to writing what I have planned out in my head.
Week 0: Friday, 28 May 2004 (Memorial Day weekend)
Falcon Crest Cabin
Luray, Virginia
"It's so peaceful out here," Mac sighed contentedly as she surveyed the land around the cabin Harm had rented for the long weekend.
He walked up behind her and slid his arms around her waist, savoring the feeling of having her there with him, uninterrupted for an entire weekend. At work, personal contact was out of the question, and it seemed like the time they had together outside of the office was becoming scarcer the longer they were married. The year wasn't quite halfway through, but their lives were significantly different from that time the year before, and not all for the better.
Soon after they were married, Admiral Chegwidden had called Harm and Mac into his office to discuss their career options. There was a need for a legal military advisor at the Pentagon, and the admiral told them that it was their decision who would take the position. Whenever the Pentagon didn't need their advisor, he or she would be on loan to JAG. Who would go was the topic of conversation at home (and in most of the office gossip) for almost a week. The two finally decided that Harm would be the one to be reassigned.
Harm's official transfer had taken effect the first of the year, but with the exception of a few days each month when Harm was called to the Pentagon, there wasn't much of a difference at JAG until the admiral retired. Everything seemed to be in a strange state of limbo at JAG while they waited for the admiral's replacement to be named.
However, their personal lives were causing more turmoil than their professional lives. Three days after Christmas, Mac received a call from Fort Leavenworth. Her uncle had suffered from a heart attack and passed away quietly during the night. Because of the extra work that was piling up while Sturgis was touring with his girlfriend, Varese, for the holidays, things were too busy at JAG for both of them to leave, so Mac had to endure her uncle's funeral alone. Despite their distance and how busy she was with her career, Mac and her uncle Matt had made sure to call or email each other on a regular basis. He was the only parental figure from her youth that had ever said he loved her and then gone the distance to prove it by his actions. The only thing that kept her going during that time of shock after his death was Harm. Her husband seemed to know just when she needed him most, and he would be there with a sympathetic hug or a few simple words of encouragement.
After that shock, Harm and Mac weren't prepared for the next upheaval in their lives. Mac had been having back pains since they'd been married, and Harm finally convinced her to go see a doctor. That's when they received the devastating news that Mac had endometriosis and might not be able to have children. She'd gone through surgery in March to have the scar tissue removed in order to improve their odds of conceiving naturally. Because of the whole ordeal, Mac had adopted a cynical outlook about their chances for a family. Harm tried to understand her intense desire to carry a child, but she wouldn't listen to suggestions about any other options. Harm knew that there was less than a four percent chance that they would have a baby the old fashioned way, and he wasn't ready to rule out the possibility of having children that weren't theirs biologically.
It was even harder to be supportive when he wasn't home much. A month after Mac's surgery, Harm's grandmother had fallen and broken her hip. As the closest family member by blood and distance, Harm was responsible for convincing Grandma Sarah that it was time to make the move to a retirement community so he wouldn't worry about her alone on the farm while she was recovering. He had flown back and forth to Pennsylvania quite a few weekends to help her pack and to make repairs to the old farmhouse so it was in good shape to be put up for rent. Mac spent the weekends working in order to forget about all of the unwelcome disruptions in hers and Harm's 'happily ever after.'
Both of them were becoming physically and emotionally drained from all of the personal baggage that was accumulating. Neither had the time nor the energy to focus their marriage, hence the reason for their Memorial Day weekend getaway. Harm had made sure to finalize arrangements for time off with the admiral before his retirement so that nothing could get in the way of his plans to be alone with his wife.
"I think this is just what we needed," Mac said, turning around. Noticing that her husband seemed to be a million miles away, she placed her hands on his chest and stood up on tip-toe to give him a kiss. "Thank you."
"It's thanks enough to see you happy," he replied softly, pushing away his thoughts of the events he'd come here to forget. He placed his hands over hers and leaned down to kiss her forehead. "Now, do you want to get our stuff into the cabin so we can go exploring? Or do you want to go exploring and worry about unpacking later?"
"Do we need our bags to explore that hot tub you were telling me about on the way here?" she asked mischievously as she led him by the hand to the door of the cabin.
"Nah," he grinned back, "but you do need a key to get in."
He pulled the cabin key out of his pocket and held it just out of her reach. Mac playfully reached for it, and he pulled back until it was above his head and she was on the verge of climbing on him to get it. With one of her hands still around the arm he was holding in the air, Mac used her other hand to pull his head down to hers. It didn't take long for Harm to lose himself in the kiss, and as soon as he relaxed his extended arm, she slid her hand up, grabbed the key, and left him standing with his mouth open and his pulse racing.
"Are you coming or not?" Mac asked innocently as she looked back at him after unlocking the door. With an impish grin, she tossed the key in front of her husband's feet and disappeared into their weekend hideaway.
Week 7: Friday, 23 July 2004
Rabb Residence
Dunn Loring, Virginia
After returning from Memorial Day weekend, it didn't take long for Harm and Mac to realize how many strings their former CO must have pulled in order to keep Harm at JAG most of the time. General Creswell became the first Marine JAG, and he did not share Chegwidden's unspoken desire to keep the team of Harm and Mac together as much as possible. Meetings at the Pentagon filled up Harm's calendar so that he spent only a few days at JAG at a time. On most days, the only time Harm and Mac were able to spend together alone was while they were getting ready in the morning and right before bed. When they did have a few rare moments, he would listen to Mac as she kept him up-to-date on everything he was missing at JAG. He would have loved to talk to his wife about his other job, but that would have defeated the purpose of the 'top secret' sessions.
This particular morning, Harm was returning from a series of meetings that had made it to day fifteen, making it the longest he'd been away from JAG so far. It was also the most exhausting because he'd been working late nights for the past week in the hope that they would wrap up their business soon.
The luminescent clock on the microwave read 1:04 as he dragged himself into the silent house. His sleep-deprived mind went on auto-pilot as he felt his way up the stairs in the dark. All he wanted was to do was fall into bed and sleep until Monday morning.
Harm reached for the doorknob to the master bedroom and was surprised when it wouldn't turn. He tried again before his mind registered that it was locked. Consternated, he stared at the door, trying to figure out what to do, but his foggy brain would not cooperate.
Glancing back toward the staircase he'd just climbed, the faint glow of a hallway nightlight illuminated the edge of his sea bag. It had been left in front of the door to the guest room. Without giving the locked door a second thought, he trudged into the guest room, kicking his bag out of the way. Stripping down to his t-shirt and boxers, he crawled under the bedcovers and was asleep before his head hit the pillow.
At some point, Mac had come into the room and shook him awake. Without opening his eyes, he mumbled that he had the day off and pulled the covers over his head as he turned his back to her. He was so tired that he didn't even remember that she had been in the room when he came to full consciousness later that afternoon.
With the benefit of a good-night's sleep, Harm finally registered that he'd been kicked out of his bedroom the night before, and he had absolutely no clue what he'd done to warrant being locked out. He looked at his watch, which he hadn't bothered to take off the night before. He had four hours until his wife should be home. That meant he had four hours to figure out what he'd done wrong.
Almost five hours later, Mac walked into the kitchen where Harm was standing at the island, chopping vegetables for dinner. He stopped his preparations and looked at his wife for any visual clues to why she had avoided him the night before. The only thing he had come up with the entire afternoon was that he had missed dinner last night; Mac had left a voice mail asking him to make it home early enough for them to go out. Though she hadn't mentioned any special reason for dining out, he had racked his brain for any sort of birthday or anniversary that he had missed and came up empty.
Avoiding Harm's questioning gaze for the moment, Mac sighed as she dropped her briefcase and purse on a barstool. She slowly approached her husband and stopped when she reached the opposite side of the island.
"I'm sorry about last night," she said quietly to the countertop. "I was upset, and you weren't there, and I just… sort of overreacted."
Harm wasn't sure whether or not she was ready for him to enter into her personal space, so instead of taking her in his arms like he wanted to, he simply set down the knife and wiped his hands on a towel. "I'm here now. Do you want to talk about it?"
She finally looked up at him, but he couldn't quite get a fix on her expression—there was a strange mixture of guilt over the night before, along with fear and uncertainty about something else. "I went to see the doctor yesterday."
Warning bells immediately went off in Harm's head, as he replied, "Are you okay?" Nightmarish scenarios from their doctor's visits earlier that year were already filling his head.
"I'm fine, but…" she started to reply as Harm walked around the counter so that he could reach out and touch his wife to see for himself that she was fine.
"But?" Harm prompted as he ran his hands down her arms and entwined his fingers with hers.
"I thought something was wrong. Really wrong," she told him, biting her lip and focusing on a point over his shoulder. "I was over a month late… actually, almost two months… I didn't even realize it because everything has been so hectic… I didn't want to worry you, especially since you've been working such crazy hours… I thought it was just something else wrong with me… I made a doctor's appointment hoping that it was something minor that could be taken care of with medication or maybe minor outpatient surgery… I would just tell you about it all later…"
Harm couldn't stand her babbling anymore. "What's wrong?" he interrupted, steeling himself for the worst.
It was when she focused back on his face that Harm noticed that her expression may have been apprehensive, but there was also hope. She smiled and simply said, "We're pregnant."
Harm temporarily lost the power of speech as his mouth moved, but no words came out. Finally he managed to form one coherent word as he started to grin: "Really?"
Mac's smile spread even wider as she shook her head affirmatively. Harm let out a whoop of joy, then grabbed his wife and kissed her. Pulling back, he asked, "The cabin?"
She gave him a mischievous grin as she told him, "Most likely—I'm about 6 weeks along."
He couldn't help but kiss her again, but then he remembered something. "Okay, if this is such good news, then why were you upset enough to lock me out of our bedroom?"
Mac cringed and gave him a sheepish look. "I think I overreacted. I was upset, and I needed to talk to you, and you never came home."
"Was this just because I wasn't here for dinner? Because if you want to go out to celebrate, I can put everything away and make dinner tomorrow instead."
She placed a hand on his chest, looking up with an appreciative smile, "No, eating in is fine. And I wasn't really upset about the dinner, just your absence. I took a half day at work to go to the doctor, and after my appointment yesterday afternoon, I had nothing to do but research online and get myself worked up about everything that could possibly go wrong with this pregnancy because of my age and because of my endometriosis."
"I'm here now. Talk to me. I need to know what we're facing."
"Well, women with endometriosis are likelier to have an ectopic pregnancy." At Harm's blank look, she explained, "The baby grows inside the fallopian tube, and not inside the uterus. I'm scheduled for an ultrasound tomorrow morning, and I'll find out if this is even an issue."
"And if it is?"
Mac's eyes grew watery before she looked away. "A baby can't grow outside of the uterus, Harm."
He embraced her reassuringly, running his hand over her hair as she rested her head on his shoulder. He heard her sniffle, and told her soothingly, "I'm sure everything is fine."
"I know, but if it's not…," she sucked in a ragged breath, "I want this baby so badly. Even if it's not an ectopic pregnancy, I'm still at high risk for miscarriage. And if I can carry to term, there may be birth defects…"
"Shh…" Harm shushed her by pulling her away from him and placing a finger over her lips to still them. "Listen to me, Mac. You and I prayed and prayed for a chance to be parents, despite the odds of us actually conceiving. God saw fit to bless us with this life for however long or short a time it may be. If there are obstacles we have to face down the line because we wanted this baby so much, we'll deal with them as they come. We're in this together, starting tomorrow at the ultrasound."
Week 19: Wednesday, 13 October 2004
Inova Fairfax Hospital
Falls Church, Virginia
The trees that Mac passed in the hospital parking lot were just turning shades of yellow and orange, a visual reminder that autumn was upon them. Walking briskly toward the hospital building, Mac was extremely self-conscious of the maternity uniform she was wearing for the first time. With the changing of the seasons and uniforms from summer to winter, she figured she might as well make the inevitable switch to the roomier maternity uniform to accommodate her expanding figure.
After the doctor had confirmed that her pregnancy appeared to be normal, she and Harm had breathed a sigh of relief at the completion of their first hurdle. The second hurdle had given them another scare—they had opted to have Chorionic Villus Sampling done at 10 weeks to rule out chromosomal birth defects and some genetic problems, but had received inconclusive results. Mac had been a hormonal wreck while waiting until she was far enough along for further tests, then waiting another few weeks for the results of the amniocentisis.
And as Harm had been telling her all along, everything was fine.
Actually, everything was better than fine. While doing an ultrasound to find an insertion point for the needle to perform the amniocentisis, the doctor had offered to tell them the sex of the baby. Harm and Mac had been debating whether or not they wanted to be surprised at delivery, but sitting in the exam room, looking at the grainy image of their child on the television screen, they couldn't contain their curiosity.
Two weeks after receiving the test results showing that their son was healthy, Mac was signing in for a check-up. The OB/GYN's office was unusually crowded that afternoon, but she finally spotted an empty chair in a corner and made her way through the maze of institutional upholstering to claim it.
"Anyone sitting here?" she asked the petite blond woman next to the chair in question.
"You are, especially since you're still able to get in and out of it without assistance," the woman joked, patting her extremely rounded belly to emphasize her point. "How far along are you, if you don't mind my asking?"
"Almost twenty weeks. You?"
"Only 28, but it feels like it should be 38—I'm carrying twins."
"I have friends who are expecting twins, probably around the same time as you. She's had some rough pregnancies, but fortunately she's having a relatively easy go this time around."
"This is my second pregnancy, and it's been a cake walk compared to my first. Honestly, the hardest part so far has been coming up with twice the number of names, especially since neither my husband nor I want to find out the sex of the babies!"
"You haven't been able to agree on anything yet?"
"Well, we're both teachers, so if he likes a name, I probably didn't get along with a student with that name and vice versa. So far, Grace is the only name that we both have no objection to."
"Oh!" Mac exclaimed, rubbing a spot on her stomach. "I think my little one likes it, too, because he just tried to kick a field goal through my stomach."
"You're having a boy?"
"Yes," Mac beamed, "Matthew O'Hara Rabb."
"Is O'Hara a family name, or are you a 'Gone With the Wind' fan?"
"Family name. My Uncle Matt passed away last winter." Mac stroked the spot that his namesake was elbowing with a sad smile. "He's the person I credit with doing the most to make me the person I am today. I'm assuming this guy," she patted her stomach, "likes 'Grace' because his Great-Uncle Matt loved the song 'Amazing Grace.'"
"It is a beautiful song. And I'm sorry about your uncle," the lady replied sincerely.
"Thank you. My husband actually suggested that we name our son after Uncle Matt. I was so surprised—I though he would want Harmon III."
"Harmon—now that's not a very common name."
"Well, Harm isn't a very common man," Mac replied, the edges of her mouth twitching into a wry smile.
"I'll have to remember to mention that name to my husband. He might like it. By the way, I'm Emily."
"Sarah. And if you need another extremely uncommon male name, we've got a friend named Sturgis."
"You mean kind of like the fish?" the other woman gave her a quizzical look.
Mac laughed. "I guess so. I never thought of it that way."
"I think I just heard the nurse call my name, so if I can get out of this chair, I'll be on my way. It was nice talking to you, Sarah."
"Likewise. And for your children's sake, I hope you have girls."
Week 26: Saturday, 27 November 2004
Tutto Bene's Italian Restaurant
Arlington, Virginia
"Harm, I've been thinking," Mac said to restart conversation after the waiter had taken up their empty plates.
"Am I going to like it?" Harm asked hesitantly, noticing that she was looking at her water glass rather than at him.
"I hope so," she looked up at him. "I'm going to resign my commission so that you can come back to JAG."
Harm simply stared at her for a full minute as the meaning of her words sunk in. She reached across the table for his hand and slid her fingers between his. She felt his wedding band between her fingers as her palm met his and gave his hand a squeeze before presenting the logic behind the offer she had just made.
"We've always known that for us to be together, one of us would have to give up JAG. We've been living on borrowed time so far, thanks to Admiral Chegwidden, but things can't work like this forever."
"Mac," he began his rebuttal, "I know what you're saying, but maybe there's some way we can work this out so we can both have our careers. I don't mind the dual role I've been playing so much…"
"Harm, just think about it: You miss JAG—don't try to deny it. I miss having my husband at home every evening for dinner and next to me every morning when I wake up. Having you back at JAG would make both of us happy."
"If you want me working a regular 9 to 5 job, I'll resign and find a civilian position."
"And you would hate every minute of it," she shook her head with a smile appreciative of what he would give up for her.
"It wouldn't be the same at JAG without you there."
"How do you think I feel every time you have to report to the Pentagon?" Mac countered with an understanding look. "I know that you would do anything for me, but the truth is that my career isn't my number one priority any more. I'm a wife and soon to be a mother. My family is my new priority."
Harm saw the look of motherly pride already present in her eyes as her free hand unconsciously stroked her abdomen. He shouldn't have had to ask, but he wanted to make certain that she was positive about her choice: "Are you sure about this?"
She looked straight at him as she vocalized the argument she had prepared specifically for this conversation. "We beat the odds to get pregnant. Who knows if we'll be that lucky ever again. I want to be there to experience all of our son's firsts—his first tooth, his first step, his first word, his first day of school… Being a full-time mother and raising our child to be a good person is the best possible thing I could ever do with my life."
"I am the luckiest man alive. You are such an amazing person, Sarah," Harm said in awe. Mac looked down, blushing at his unabashed praise.
He reached out to lift her chin with a finger and brushed her lips with his thumb. "I love you so much." Leaning across the table, his kissed her then drew back slightly to say, "I will support whatever decision you make, as long as it makes you happy."
"Happy anniversary, Harm," she closed the gap between them again.
He rested his forehead against hers after the last kiss and whispered huskily, "What do you say we pay our bill and get out of here?"
Her only response was to kiss him once more before she pulled back to gather her purse and coat, smiling mischievously the entire time.
Harm watched her stand and look at him expectantly, making a show of crossing her arms and tapping her foot impatiently.
A grin was plastered across his face as he got the waiter's attention. Handing the young man a few bills and telling him to keep the change, Harm grabbed his own coat and followed his wife out of the restaurant.
Week 38: Saturday, 19 February 2005
Patuxent River NAS
Patuxent River, Maryland
Harm exited the Navy sedan he'd been issued to run down to Pax River for a last-minute interview that could wipe out the defense's argument and secure a victory on the latest high-profile case he'd been assigned. His cell phone rang as he was walking toward the building. Checking the caller ID, he brought the phone up to his ear with a smile. "Hey, I was going to call you as soon as I checked in with the CO here."
"How quickly can you get back here?" Mac replied anxiously.
Harm stopped mid-stride on the stairs to the main entrance. "Are you…?"
"I'm in labor. I've called Dr. Miller, and I'm on my way out the door right now."
Harm held the phone to his ear with his shoulder as he opened the door to the building with one hand and removed his cover with the other. "Mac, are you sure this time? You were fine when I left."
"You know what they say—the third time's the charm. I was actually in labor when you left, but ignored the signs because I figured it was just false labor again. I wasn't fully convinced until my water broke."
"The baby's really coming?" Harm asked in awe, a goofy grin spreading across his face. A passing seaman gave him a funny look, but Harm didn't notice.
"I sure hope so," Mac replied through clenched teeth as another contraction hit. She braced her free arm against the new family-friendly sedan that she had sacrificed her Corvette to buy. Sucking in her breath, she let it out slowly before refocusing on the voice calling to her through the earpiece of her cell phone.
"Mac?" Harm asked, concerned about the pain he heard in her voice. "Mac? Are you okay?"
"Yeah," she exhaled deeply, taking another deep breath and replying tightly, "This can't be your son, though. You never get anywhere on time, and he's trying to make his entrance a few days early."
"Why don't you call Bud to drive you to the hospital?" Harm suggested, ignoring her jab at his punctuality or lack thereof. "I don't want you driving if you're in too much pain."
"Harm," Mac replied, smiling at his concern now that the contraction had passed. "I'll be fine. I'm a Marine. I can handle a little pain."
"Don't use that 'I'm a Marine' line for this, Mac," he replied seriously. "I don't want you to unintentionally put yourself or Matthew in danger in case you have another contraction on the way to the hospital."
"I promise that if I feel a contraction starting, I'll pull off the road. And if it gets too bad, I'll call someone. I'm in labor, Harm, I'm not stupid."
Harm sighed in defeat. Mac was stubborn and would do whatever she wanted to whether he liked it or not. "Just be careful."
"I will, but you need to promise you'll be careful, too. You have a longer trip to the hospital, and I know you'll try to break some sort of record trying to get here. I'd rather you get here late than not arrive at all. Or with multiple speeding tickets."
"I'll be there, and I promise to be as careful as if I were flying a Tomcat."
Mac smiled as she slid into the driver's seat of her car. "I'd better go. The doctor is expecting me."
"Call when you get to the hospital."
"I will."
"I love both of you."
"We love you, too, Dad."
As soon as Mac had disconnected, Harm sprinted down the hall. The sooner he reported in and explained his situation, the sooner he could get back on the road so he could arrive in time to welcome his son into the world.
Week 38: Sunday, 20 February 2005
Inova Fairfax Hospital
Falls Church, Virginia
Harm had the biggest grin on his face as he walked out to the waiting room to tell his friends and family the good news. His step-father saw him first and nudged his wife. Harm's mother was immediately on her feet to meet her son with a hug and "Congratulations!"
"Born at 6:32 am this morning, eight pounds, five ounces, 22 ½ inches long, 10 perfect little fingers and 10 perfect little toes," Harm beamed as he shook Frank's hand. Retired Admiral AJ Chegwidden was there for the big event, and Bud had stopped by with his three sons to see if there was any news.
"They're getting Mac settled into a room right now. You should be able to come meet the newest Rabb in a few minutes," Harm told them proudly.
Ten minutes later, Harm led his parents through the corridors and pushed open the door to a private room. AJ and Bud decided to give the family some time together before they came to see the baby. Mac was on the bed, looking exhausted, but glowing with the pride of a new mother with her baby nestled in her arms.
Trish sniffed as a few tears escaped at her first glimpse of her grandchild. "He's beautiful," she whispered, tenderly stroking a tiny fist, "but did they run out of blue blankets?"
"Not exactly," Mac replied, glancing quizzically at her husband. "You didn't tell them?"
"I wanted you all to be as surprised as Mac and I were when the doctor told us we had a girl," Harm explained, never taking his eyes off of the sleeping infant he and Mac had created. "There's less than a five percent chance of giving birth to a girl when told you're having a boy, but we beat worse odds to have this miracle in the first place."
Mac added her opinion to that of her husband. "It may not be the son we had prepared for, but she's strong and healthy, and that's all that really matters."
"Amen to that," Frank added, smiling as the little girl yawned, oblivious that she was the center of attention. "So do you have a name picked out for this little lady?"
"Harm and I still think that she should be named after my uncle," Mac answered. "Instead of Matthew, she will be Mathilda."
"Or Mattie for short," Harm chimed in.
"And for a middle name, we chose 'Grace' since Uncle Matt's favorite song was 'Amazing Grace,'" the new mother explained.
"Well, welcome to our family, Mathilda Grace Rabb," Trish whispered as she leaned over her granddaughter. "We love you, darling."
Written January 10, 2005 – June 20, 2006