Disclaimer: Same as always. Don't own 'em, don't intend to.
Previously: At the end of 'Tainted Purity' the Ducks had all gathered to say a last goodbye to their friend Adam Banks, little knowing he had been murdered by their team mate Charlie. Only Fulton and Dwayne know what really happened, but they won't confess. Dwayne won't tell because, after a tempestuous relationship with Charlie, he's been left terrified and broken; and Fulton's silence was bought through an unspoken threat from the murderer at the scene of his crime.
Before the funeral, a police enquiry had taken place, the verdict of which was suicide. All the evidence needed to prove this conclusion had been found-the knife that had killed Adam, the motive, even the fatal wound. It was all lies, but the police were blinded by the tragedy of the violent 'suicide'. Dwayne and Fulton both know everything was carefully planned by Charlie, but neither of them can say anything, because the consequences would be unimaginable.
An inquisition never took place, because the investigators didn't want to disturb the 'grieving process' of the relatives and friends. What they didn't know was that Adam's parents hardly care that he's dead and all his 'friends' but two have already numbed to the pain of loss.
But Fulton and Dwayne are finding it hard to adjust. The latter has returned home to Austin for a week to be alone with his family, but Fulton has remained at Eden Hall, desperate to leave the past behind but afraid to forget Adam...
Chapter 1: 'Echoes'
"You've betrayed me, let everyone forget about me…they all think I'm crazy!"
"No! It's not like that! Charlie-""Charlie? This isn't about him, it's about you, and your lousy promises!"
"Please, understand! You must know what I'm going through…""Going through? Compared to me you're not going through anything! You think this is bad? Try being me for once!"
"But-""Coward."
"No! I-"
"Coward!""Please believe me!"
"COWARD!"
"NO!"
I jerk awake, drenched in sweat and gasping for breath. Fear and shame are still making me tremble and the images of my nightmare seem to be lurking in every corner of the room. Visions of Adam, covered in blood and shouting in anger, his finger pointing at me in accusation are with me even now, causing me to shudder. He looked so furious and reproachful, his eyes burning into me, following me wherever I went so that I couldn't hide from the baleful glare, the darkness of his wound reflected in them, magnifying it and forcing me to see it…
It's been like this every night since we buried Adam. I keep getting these nightmares about him, ones where he dies in my arms again then rises to start shouting at me, hitting me and screaming, until he turns into Charlie and smiles slowly, waving a huge, blood-drenched knife in my face. Worse than that are those like the one I just had, where its just Adam and me surrounded by heavy blackness. He shouts and shouts, getting angrier, always accusing me of betrayal, broken promises and telling me he hates me, that it's my fault he died…I'm starting to think I'm going mad.
But maybe it is a guilty conscience? I don't believe in ghosts or messages from the grave. The only reason I'd be having these dreams would be if I'd done something wrong. And I have, I know I have. I should've told the police the truth about Adam, about his dad, about Charlie…instead I let Conway intimidate me and I backed out, showing myself for the coward I really am.
"Coward."
The echoes of my dreams are always there, always watching. I can't get through a single hour without hearing Adam's recriminating voice hissing at me, haunting me endlessly. I just don't know what to do anymore.
I look around the room, letting my eyes adjust to the darkness as they travel over shadowed objects. Across from me is Adam's bed, the covers still slightly wrinkled from the last time he used it. I haven't touched it, too afraid to go near it. I don't want to disturb the last memories I have of my friend. But until I do, I'll never be able to get on with my life…
Suddenly, I know what to do. Resolve steadies my limbs as I reach out and switch on my lamp, sliding from my bed and crossing to Adam's. All his things are still lying around it, stacked neatly and just as he left them. He was only here a very short time; nearly everything's still packed away. I stride through the room purposefully, picking up anything of Adam's and returning his possessions to an open bag, placing them in neatly, almost reverently, but putting them in all the same. Eventually I've gathered the few belongings that were lost under my own and I'm down to the last shirt. But as I fold it carefully and kneel to put it into the bag, my eye catches a swift glimpse of pale blue from underneath the pillows on Adam's bed. Rising a little, I reach out slowly and pull them aside to find a small, fat book lying against the yellow sheets. I slide it towards me and study the hard cover and silver clasps. It looks like…a diary. Adam's? But…
I try to put the little book into the bag, along with everything else, but something stops me. I shouldn't do this, it's not mine. Even if he's dead, Adam's still entitled to privacy.
Before I realise what I'm doing, however, I've pulled back the cover and gently opened the book. Some of the pages are wrinkled, and crackle softly beneath my fingers…this is wrong…
Or is it? All this time I've felt ashamed because we didn't understand Adam, but here's my chance to change that. If I read through this I can finally get an insight into what his life was really like, and maybe lay the nightmares to rest…
Maybe.