Innocence is Blindness Chapter 2: Of Preps and Ruined Plans, a hellsing fanfic

This chapter is dedicated to the first three reviewers of Innocence is Blind: Tsubasa Aska, Morality, and Neogami! Yay for the reviewers and ONTO THE NEXT CHAPTER!

Note: I do NOT own Hellsing OR the Cell Block Tango!

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Chapter II: Of Preps and Ruined Plans

It had only been two weeks since Integra Hellsing had come to meet – and own – Alucard, the undead shape shifter. Within those two weeks, Alucard had found himself cleaning the biohazard that was the room of Integra, organizing about two thousand books, all of which listed every forum that the mortal girl had ever joined, including those she had joined then quit, and the ones she was still active in.

At this point of our story, Miss Integra (as Alucard had taken to calling her) Hellsing was at her private school, which held ninety-nine point nine percent preps and point one percent cool people…and had a uniform consisting of a white blazer with a red vest beneath it, a knee-length skirt, a pair of white, loose socks, and brown penny loafer styled shoes. One of the people who were cool in Integra's mind ran up to her and yelled, "Yo, Integra!"

The said person was a girl of 5'6 who had emerald eyes, wearing a dark red hoodie, black cargo pants, black shoes, and her hair was in a braid, totally disregarding the school's rule about wearing the uniform.

"Hi, Shannon-kun," the young Hellsing answered. "Have you by any chance seen…?" she was then cut off by shouting.

"What do you mean, detention! I wasn't doing a damn thing to any of those idiotic sluts! Now let me go!" it was the voice of Integra's other friend.

The pair walked to the scene of the shouting and found their friend, Cassarah. Cassarah was 5'5, with slightly pale skin, wild brown hair, dark brown eyes that sometimes changed color, and she was wearing a black Aeropostale hoodie, a pair of black jeans with a weird crimson design at the ankle, and oddly enough…no shoes.

"You know what you did, so apologize this instant!" one of the teachers yelled hotly.

"Cassarah!" Integra called, slightly curious as to what was going on, "What in the name of all that is Goth is going on here?"

"It's a misunderstanding, Integra-sama!" Cassarah answered, rubbing the back of her neck in shame. "I'll fix it, I swear!"

Shannon glared at the crowd of preps angrily and told them that they deserved nothing, especially pie and granola. After that, Integra talked to the teacher and straightened everything out. "Er…thank you, Integra-sama," Cassarah bowed her head sheepishly.

"You are welcome. Now, come fellow Anti-Prep Clan, for I have someone I want you to meet…"

Alucard had just finished vacuuming the main living room when there was a call…Great he thought another summons… "Coming!" he answered, opening the door, surprised to see Integra with two other girls. "Come in, come in," he bowed as he fulfilled his temporary roll of usher.

"Girls, sit in the living room for a moment. I need to talk to my butler," Integra shooed her guests out, leaving her with the undead shape shifter. "Alucard, these girls may not live here or come from this town, but you are to treat them with the same amount of respect and dignity that you treat me with, do you understand?"

"Yes-uh, Miss Integra," he bowed again before he heard one of the other girls call for Integra.

"Coming!" the blond ran into the living room as if she was thankful that she hadn't been alone with her servant any longer than a few minutes.

Shaking his head, Alucard – Alu for short – walked into the living room to see if his master or her guests needed to be served. Attack of the tea parties, here I come…

Alucard was amazed to see that his mistress and her guests were not having a tea party, but talking about something called 'The Cell Block Tango.' Then Integra started to sing it, and the undead shape-shifter found himself entranced with her voice.

"I betcha you would have done the same!"

Cassarah then replied with, "I met Ezekiel Young from Salt Lake City about two years ago, and he told me he was single. And we hit it off right away, so we started living together. He'd go to work, he'd come home, I'd fix him a drink, get him dinner, and then I found out. Single he told me…SINGLE MY ASS. Not only was he married, oh no, he had six wives. One of those Mormons, you know? So that night when he came home, I fixed him his drink as usual. Some guys just can't hold their arsenic…"

Shannon replied with the next three verses, then all the girls sang, "The dirty bum bum bum bum, the dirty bum bum bum…They had it coming, they had it coming, they only had themselves to blame…If you'd have been there, if you'd had seen it, I betcha you would have done the same! I didn't do it, but if I'd done it, how could you tell me I was wrong?"

Alucard applauded rather loudly, then told his master and her guests with great gusto, "Well done, milady and guests, well done!"

Integra's face was suddenly a light shade of pink as she stammered a thank-you to the undead shape-shifter. Cassarah and Shannon exchanged a glance that held plotting and they nodded at each other once. They had a plan, all right, and both girls were going to make sure that it resulted in success.

Alu saw Integra's guests exchange a glance and nod at each other, which made him wonder what they were up to. He was so caught up in his thoughts that he had to receive a punch on the arm to snap him out of his reverie. "Yes, Master?" he bowed in apology for his lack of attention.

"Would you go bring my guests and I some drinks?" Integra replied, avoiding eye contact with her servant.

"Yes, milady," and with that he was gone.

Cassarah and Shannon busted out in laughter. Phase One of their plan: Make sure that all feelings were mutual.

After calming down, Shannon bluntly asked, "Do you LIKE your butler? And I'm not talking about liking him in the 'master-friend' type of way, either!"

Integra's face was red as could be at that point. She denied it like there was no tomorrow, but Shannon and Cassarah knew better.

"You do like him, ne?" Cassarah replied, laughing when the blonde shook her head wildly. "I knew it since I stepped into the door. There's something different about him I sense as well…I wonder what it is?"

Integra told the story of how she met Alucard. She had the satisfaction of her friends' facial expressions when she was done.

"Priceless," she muttered. She sighed, "OK, so I DO like him…He's a God-knows-how-many year-old undead shape-shifter and I'm a twelve-year-old mortal. Tell me, exactly how is that supposed to work?"

Little did the three ladies know that Alucard was standing behind the closed door, drink tray in his glove-covered hands. His jaw was almost on the floor, and he was paler than usual, he was so surprised. Then he remembered that glance between the guests and put two and two together. They were trying to play matchmaker, and he had just inevitably ruined their plan.

Thus, chapter 2 comes to an end! What will happen to Shannon and Cassarah's plan? Will Integra find out that Alucard was eavesdropping on her? And what on Earth happened to Toto, the Dog of Doom? Review to find out!