It's time for the Baudelaire/Quagmire family to reveal the truth about their troubled past. Begin!

~Normal POV

It was Saturday at the Baudelaire/Quagmire estate. Isadora was sitting at her desk in the living room grading papers from her university students as she was babysitting the children today. Nikki, Lizzie, and Sam were sitting on the couch nearby watching a movie called Chitty Chitty Bang Bang, one of their favorites. It was almost over as the kids were watching the final scene.

"Well, Mr. Potts!"

"What's the matter?"

"Now you have to marry me!"

"Nikki, do you think that's true," Lizzie asked as the movie ended with a song.

"What's true?"

"That if a guy kisses you that means he has to marry you," Lizzie adjusted her glasses.

Sam rolled his eyes at his cousins, "It's not true! You got to find the right girl first."

"It could be, Sam," Nikki said, "How would you know? You've never kissed a girl!"

"And you've never kissed a boy," Sam replied sticking out his tongue at her.

Isadora stood and walked over to turn off the TV and put away the movie. Lizzie realized the she should try asking her about their dilemma. She spoke up, getting her mother's attention.

"Mama, is it true that if a boy kisses you that means he has to marry you?"

Isadora laughed, "It's a little more complicated than that, kids!"

"Well how did you and Uncle Klaus fall in love then," Nikki asked, "If he kissed you then he had to marry you right?"

"That's not how it works Nik," Sam said.

"Actually, mama, you've never even told us how you and papa met," Lizzie said thoughtfully.

Isadora looked between the three children masking her obvious unease at their questions. The adults had managed to keep their children ignorant of their troubled history for this long, but they were running out of ways around the subject. The children were very curious about their parents' hidden past. Recently, Nikki and Lizzie have noticed that they don't have grandparents while Sam only has his grandfather, Captain Widdershins, on his mother's side. The three kids know that their parents keep certain things locked up tightly in their office safes that they're forbidden from opening. It was getting rather troublesome to keep so much from them, but their innocence would not last forever.

"That's a story for another day," Isadora replied with a smile.

The kids groaned, "You always say that!"

Isadora rolled her eyes and picked up her papers and walked into the other room. She picked up her phone and proceeded to call the other members of the family, starting with her brother Duncan. She had made a silent decision and needed to inform the others.

"Izzie, I'm a little busy right now," She heard Duncan say over the phone; "I'm sitting in the mayor's office waiting for an interview for my article."

"This will just take a second," She replied, "Listen I think we should tell the kids tonight."

There was a pause before she heard him respond quietly, "Damn, are you sure?"

He had obviously understood what she meant, "Yes I'm sure. Are you up for it?"

"Uh... if you think it's wise, then yes let's do it. Make sure you get everyone else to agree first though."

"I'll call them," Isadora said, "If everyone agrees, we'll do it at dinner. Good bye; and good luck with your interview."

She hung up the phone a proceeded to call the remaining family members to get them on board with the idea.

~…

"Are we sure we should do this," Klaus asked, "We can wait a couple more years."

"You agreed to it over the phone," Isadora said.

"I think we should do it," Quigley spoke up, "It's only fair."

"I agree," Fiona added patting her husband's arm, "It's about time."

Duncan put his arm around Violet, "We're going to do it eventually. We might as well get it out of the way now."

Violet nodded, "Everyone ready?"

They all agreed and their plan was set in motion at dinner that afternoon. They gathered together in Duncan and Violet's dining room and made sure the kids gave them their undivided attention. Once everyone was seated the adults all nodded to each other with knowing glances. They knew that once they started telling this story, there would be no turning back.

Violet spoke up, "Kids... we have something we'd like to talk to you about."

The three children look at her in confusion as they ate their meals; they almost looked afraid that they were in some kind of trouble.

Since she wasn't interrupted, Violet continued, "We know you've been curious about some things. We know you've been asking questions that we haven't given you proper answers to yet. So, after much discussion between us grown-ups, we've decided to answer those questions tonight."

Nikki grinned, "You mean it, mommy?"

Violet nodded, "Yes sweetheart we do mean it. However, I must warn you kids of something first: this isn't a very pleasant story, but it does have a happy ending. Once we start telling it, we won't be able to stop until it's over because you need to learn this now. We all agree that it's the right time to tell you, but we're going to give you one chance to decide. If you don't think you're ready, tell us."

Nikki, Lizzie, and Sam looked at each other. They had a chance to learn about their family history. This was a huge moment in their young lives. And they were letting them decided whether or not they wanted to hear it? The kids carefully considered her question before replying.

"We're ready."

It had been agreed that the best place to start would be with the Quagmires' house fire, since it happened first.

"Well, kids," Duncan said, "It all began with a terrible fire..."

Duncan explained how the Quagmire mansion burned down, and how he and Isadora made it out. Quigley then explained how he escaped but got separated from his siblings because the papers all said he was dead. They solemnly explained what happened to their parents; earning sad looks from the three kids at the knowledge that they would never know their grandparents. Duncan explained that he and Isadora were sent straight to a terrible place called Prufrock Preparatory School while Quigley went into hiding while traveling with a man named Jacques Snicket, who had agreed to protect him. Duncan and Isadora had lived at Prufrock for three semesters; a year and a half. It was now time for the Baudelaires to explain their half of the story.

"Our story started at Briny Beach... with another terrible fire," Violet began telling their tale.

The children's faces showed horrified expressions at Violet and Klaus' descriptions of an evil man they had been sent to live with, a man named Count Olaf. The children were especially terrified when Violet said that Olaf locked Sunny in a cage and suspended her from a 30 foot tower at only a year old. The kids loved their Aunt Sunny and the thought of her in such danger was mortifying; they almost couldn't have had her in their lives! Violet told them how she managed to get out of marrying Olaf by using the legal system to her advantage. Klaus then took over the story and continued on through the other guardians they had been sent to afterwards, Uncle Monty, Aunt Josephine, and even the Lucky Smells Lumber Mill; making sure not to spare the gruesome details of what happened at each of these locations. Lizzie couldn't believe her father had once been hypnotized!

Quigley spoke up for a moment to mention that it was just after the Baudelaires went to live with Josephine after Monty's death that Jacques Snicket left him to hide in Monty's house while he investigated things. These details were crucial after all. Then came a much brighter part of their story: the Baudelaires meeting the Quagmires at Prufrock. Duncan and Violet smiled at each other when they told how they had met. Nikki couldn't believe how simple her parents' first meeting had been; she always assumed it was something more romantic. But no, they had met because the Baudelaires were being bullied by an awful girl named Carmelita Spats, and Duncan had kindly stopped her, and brought them over to sit with them at lunch. Klaus and Isadora had met then as well, and Lizzie wasn't sure but she thought that perhaps her mama and papa's meeting was love at first sight based on how happily they talked about it.

But everywhere they went Count Olaf followed them, so he had showed up at that dreadful school too, after eleven days without him. He forced the Baudelaires to run laps every night for nine days straight until finally Duncan and Isadora made a plan to help their dear friends and go in disguise in their place on the tenth night. "How brave," The children had commented. Violet and Klaus smiled at their significant others at the comment and voiced their agreement. The children shared looks of dread as they explained what happened the following day: Olaf kidnapped Duncan and Isadora. The Baudelaires were sent to live on Dark Avenue with the Squalor family. They found the Quagmires but ended up getting separated from them once more by Olaf trying to auction them off inside a red herring statue. The children's jaws dropped when they heard the part about Esmé Squalor's betrayal and loyalty to Olaf. "She was your guardian!"

Quigley spoke up once more and said that at this point Jacques hadn't returned to him since leaving to investigate Paltryville. He then explained that while the Baudelaires moved to the Village of Four Devotees, Uncle Monty's house was burned down by some mystery person. He escaped through the trap door under the library, as he had done when his house was burned down, and the tunnel led him to Dr. Orwell's office. He then went through Finite Forest where he met up with the Snow Scouts and started traveling with them in disguise. Violet explained how they found Duncan and Isadora trapped inside Fowl Fountain. At this point the Baudelaires had been framed for murdering Jacques Snicket, who Olaf had convinced everyone was actually him, and the Quagmires were framed as accomplices.

Nikki couldn't help giggling when her mother mentioned a certain D.Q+V.B carving that they had found inside the red herring statue while looking for them, causing Duncan to blush a bit at the memory. They explained that the five of them escaped the village in a fire truck and continued the rest of the story together, rather than apart. The children looked absolutely horrified at the tale of their 3 day stay at Heimlich Hospital. Nikki especially! Both her parents almost got their heads cut off! But then came a miracle: Kit Snicket. After Olaf set the hospital on fire, Kit took the Baudelaires and Quagmires in her taxi and dropped them off on the trail leading to Mount Fraught, the tallest of the Mortmain Mountains. The whole time the adults were telling the story they kept in the details about V.F.D. that Duncan and Isadora had managed to get in their precious notebooks. There was no way they could tell the story without those details.

Kit and Olivia Caliban had set up an escape plan for the Baudelaires and Quagmires. Kit sent them to find the V.F.D. Headquarters in the mountains while Olivia kept Olaf distracted at Caligari Carnival for them to get a head start. The children were overjoyed to hear how Duncan and Isadora reunited with Quigley in the ruins of the Headquarters. They told how the six of them climbed Mount Fraught together and met Jacqueline the next day. She helped them sail a boat down the Stricken Stream to reach the sea so they could board a submarine called the Queequeg. The children were saddened to hear of the tragic fate of Olivia Caliban, who was murdered by Esmé Squalor by shoving her into a pit of starving lions. Olaf had learned of their escape plan and was on his way to the Headquarters thinking that was where they were at the time.

Once the Baudelaires and the reunited Quagmire triplets boarded the Queequeg, Quigley and Fiona explained that this was where they had met. Sam looked happy and a bit grossed out at how his parents talked about their romantic first meeting, while Nikki and Lizzie thought it was sweet.

The Queequeg took them safely to Briny Beach where Quigley and Fiona had to temporarily part ways, as they were supposed to go with Kit to a safe house after this. Fiona went with her stepfather to Hotel Denouement for the V.F.D. meeting instead, and explained that her brother Fernald had been working as an inside man for Olaf. He was the man with hooks instead of hands that Nikki and Lizzie were shocked to hear had been related to her all along. Sam sat in a stunned silence as he learned of his uncle's true story from his mother. Fernald had betrayed Olaf to protect Fiona, by altering his course and making sure that he didn't get anywhere in time to find the orphans.

While the Baudelaires and Quagmires were at the safe house, Kit and the other volunteers held a secret meeting at Hotel Denouement. Olaf attended the meeting, and Fernald showed his loyalty to his family by announcing his betrayal. The meeting was actually a red herring: the true meeting had taken place shortly after Kit left the children on the mountain trail and it was about how to deal with Olaf and his associates. This meeting had been a public execution for Olaf's crimes. He would never hurt anyone else ever again. Needless to say, the children felt their hearts lighten immensely that such a cruel man was gone from the world.

They finished their tale by telling the best part of all: the aftermath. Kit had set them up to live at a different boarding school called Whitmore Academy; the very school that Aunt Sunny currently attended. Fiona explained that she left her father's service to join them for a normal life, with Quigley of course. And then they explained a final detail that they had left out until now: Kit Snicket having her baby Beatrice, who was named after the Baudelaires' deceased mother. The children knew Beatrice Snicket as Aunt Sunny's best friend and were delighted to hear how she fit in the story. The seven of them lived at the school until they graduated and obtained the rights to their respective family fortunes.

"And that kids," Violet finished with a smile, "Is how we ended up together."

"When we were on this adventure together," Duncan said, "We all agreed that we never wanted to be separated again. I told Violet that we'd do this together."

"Together to the end," Violet replied, using those secret words that only they understood.

"Violet and Duncan got married first at the age of 20," Isadora said smiling, "I caught the bouquet at their wedding! Klaus and I were married the next year."

"And I caught the bouquet at her wedding," Fiona chuckled, "Quigley and I got married the year after that."

"Then the following year we had you guys," Klaus explained.

Violet put a hand on Nikki's shoulder, "You were born first. We named you after my favorite inventor Nikola Tesla. Your middle name comes from the woman who would've been your grandmother, Karen Quagmire."

"Lizzie, you were named after your mother's middle name, Elizabeth," Klaus said, "We picked your middle name from a book I read; Leslie."

"Sam you were named after my mother Samantha and your grandfather Captain John Widdershins," Fiona said, "Now that you know your uncle's history I'm sure you'll want to talk to him about it the next time we visit him in prison."

"Can we meet Fernald, Aunt Fiona," Lizzie asked.

The adults looked at each other for a moment contemplating their answer.

"Well, since you know now why he's in jail I suppose you can meet him," Klaus said patting his daughter's head.

"Just remember why your Aunt Sunny doesn't like him," Isadora said, "Don't bother her about it the next time she visits."

"So what's in those safes that you won't let us open," Nikki asked.

"Our old commonplace books," Duncan answered, "They were necessary to our survival when we were on the run from Olaf. They hold crucial V.F.D. information and they're not going to leave those safes, understand?"

"Kit and Dewey let us leave the organization without forcing us to join their ranks," Violet explained, "We don't want that dangerous life for you kids. Our families didn't either, they wanted out of the organization themselves and didn't tell us their secrets to keep us safe."

"So remember, everything we just told you is our story. It's only for us you understand? Family only," Duncan said, "Don't tell anyone."

The kids agreed to this. They had just been told about a secret organization after all. And with their parents not being involved in it any longer, they weren't allowed to actually discuss it with anyone. The only reason they told the kids this story was because they wanted them to know the truth. The truth was something that had been denied the Baudelaire/Quagmire family by their parents before them for their own safety. And it had ended up failing them in the end. But now with this new generation, the united families would raise their kids open and honestly. They could only hope Kit wouldn't be too upset about this night if they ever got to speak to her again. They explained that they weren't allowed to contact other volunteers anymore since they're not part of the group; Beatrice Snicket was not a volunteer so she was able to stay in their lives. It would be devastating if V.F.D. enemies gained knowledge on their existence.

As the adults put their kids to be that night in their respective houses, they all felt a huge weight lift off their shoulders from having shared their history. Nikki thought her parents' love story was very romantic. Lizzie couldn't stop smiling as she went to bed that night dreaming about possibly meeting her own special someone in a sweet way like her parents had met. Sam wasn't much of a romantic, but he loved the story all the same; especially the part about how his uncle protected his mother so fiercely despite being a bad guy for so long. He couldn't wait to talk to him about it when they visited next.

The truth had been let out at last, and the Baudelaire/Quagmire family slept a lot easier that night, and for many nights afterwards, because of it.

~The End!

Obvious plot with this one; it's just the family finally deciding to be honest with their children about their strange and troubled history, and the kids accepting it. It's something that simply had to come up eventually and this is the result. I opted to not have the story told in actual dialogue as I thought it would get too boring.