The strangely powerful wizard dragged a disgruntled Dodo through the undergrowth. But alas Dodo's protests fell on uncaring pointy ears. Seemingly oblivious of the young hobbits tantrum Grandalf turned to his companions and spoke in a misty voice, "sod off"
"What?" asked Walker.
"You heard me" the wizard said in a less misty and now distinctly annoyed voice, If your not a hairy footed little freak, bugger off and find something else to do and Gimi you can sod off too."

Gimi and blondelas made eye contact. Gimi licked his lips, Blondelas seemed entranced. "I'll just go and get some ummm.." Gimi thought desperately,"...fire wood" he finished, and with that Gimi smirked at Blondelas and strode deeper into the forest.
Blondelas watched Gimi's retreating form, "I'll help" he squeaked before rushing after the dwarf. Walker pouted. "Even the bloody dwarfs getting some" he mumbled, not quite under his breath.
"Getting some what?" Merri inquired. Pam put his hand over his mouth to stifle his laughter. Pipi shook his head at his silly friend. "Fire wood Merri, you heard him say"
Faint giggling sounded from deep within the forest.
"But its noon, why do we need a fire?" Merri asked. Grandalf looked awkward at the now frightful sounds emanating from the once peaceful forest.

Tom cleared his throat. "Soooooo how are we supposed to deal with my lady, cause if I go back without flowers or something she'll have me guts for garters a da doo da dilly hey." Every one in the fellowship present stared at him, and the disturbing noises temporarily stopped. The silence was deafening, Tom blushed. "Sorry" he said meekly "nervous habit". "Anyway" Grandalf said, "hear is my master plan, you will win her back with song". "But I sing all the time" Tom said.
"Ahhh, but this time you will be accompanied, by...dadadada..." Grandalf reached behind his back and produced four of the campest outfits that have or ever will exist. "...hobbit back up dancers!"

Protests were immediately heard from Merri and Dodo, Pam was cooing over the outfits and Pipi was to busy trying to work out where the outfits had come from. He hasn't got pockets in the back of his robes thought the puzzled hobbit.
Walker burst out laughing. "Your on your own" he said before fleeing.
Grandalf gave the hobbits a look of pure venom." You WILL wear these outfits", he intoned "or you will face my wrath!"
With that he began to cackle manically and everyone took a step back at once with the exception of Pipi who was now walking round Grandalf, still to work out where the outfits had come from.
Once at Tom's house Tom looked pale. "Oh darling" he called weakly.

A woman appeared in the doorway, she was in her late twentys and was very pretty, she was also extremely pissed off. She looked Tom over and spotted the camply dressed hobbits and worse his lack of flowers. Eyes ablaze like the fires of hell she turned on him a look which nailed tom to the spot, then spoke in a voice so cold it would freeze nitrogen. "Well?" she asked. Her foot tapped slowly on the floor making every man with the exception of Pam flinch with each impact. Tom gulped "Ummm, are you ok?" he asked. Pam shook his head at Tom's stupidity and the aura of pure fury emanating from the woman increased three fold.

Dodo took in the situation and prepared to flee, but Grandalf had had the foresight to grab his arm to prevent the hobbits escape. Again Pam was more than a little pissed off and Dodo was wondering why people seemed to wish him a fiery death.

The woman took a breath, every male there new what was coming, there was only one reply to Tom's question.
"Im fine" she replied at last, every syllable dripping with venom. Tom paled visibly.
"Well a dilly dilly do my lady ummm I, ummm I brought these guys to help with my anniversary present a do do dilly".
Her icy demeanor totally melted and she smiled warmly, before running and flinging herself at her husband.
"Oh sweetie" she exclaimed, "you remembered!"
Tom was looking even more panicked now, he new that this would not go down well.
Tom stepped back, and signaled the hobbits to assume their positions. Grumbling they did so.

Tom launched into his rendition of Bryan Adams, everything I do. The hobbits danced along and provided backing vocals, Pam out danced them all, pissing off the other hobbits. Half way through the song Grandalf pulled out an electric guitar and began to get rather carried away.
At the end of the song, Toms wife was not impressed. "Is that all you got?" she asked, the iciness had returned three fold.
Tom was now terrified, he looked round at the guys for help.
"Owwww" Pam cried excitedly, he started looking thought his bag and the smiled. He turned directly to Tom's wife. "Make up and highlights then he pulled out a DVD, and a romantic comedy". Pam exclaimed excitedly. "Yay, there are no girls to talk to round here" she squealed and grabbed hold of Pam and rushed inside.

Tom and the others looked fearfully at the house. Dodo spoke first, "no way in hell am I going in there!" The guys all shuddered at the thought of interrupting the girls night in. So they spent the night in a tree instead, the tree did try to eat the hobbits, but Tom's awful singing killed it and all was well.
Grandalf spent most of the night making notes, and the hobbits found some ghosts and lost in a game of poker, leaving them naked and confused. Again Tom's singing saved the day and they gave back the hobbits stuff to shut him up, he also stole a broach to try to appease his wife.
In the morning they went and fetched Pam and then left Tom to go back and fetch their companions.
On the way back to where they had left there friends they noticed there was now a 6th member to their party who was following Grandalf, carrying his bag, as well as a cup of tea.
Dodo looked at the teenage boy and his messy black hair. "Grandalf?', Dodo asked carefully.
"What? the wizard replied.
"What the fuck is with the bloody kid!"
Grandalf took the tea from the skinny boy, "work experience." he replied. Every one now looked at the boy whose green eyes looked nervous. "My name's Harry, I'm gonna be a wizard who fights evil" the boy mumbled.
The group was silent.

They finally found their companions sitting in a circle, Walker was sharpening his sword and Blondelas and Gimi were arguing, again.
"Now we are together again, we can continue our journey!" Grandalf said. The others grumbled, but stood up ready to continue their peril filled perilous journey fraught with dangers and peril and now, with the addition of work experience boy to the fellowship, who made really bad tea.