Chapter 4

Rose's POV

I laid in my bed staring at the ceiling above me. Chewing on my thumbnail, I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. Breath in…1-2-3…breath out. In…1-2-3…breath out. I repeated my process a few times. As lonely as I said I was without a mate, I was not sure if I wanted Dimitri back in my life. He loved life as a Guardian and that was no longer my world. I know I'm not perfect, in fact, I'm actually quite selfish and wouldn't want him to go back. I'd want him to stay here, he wouldn't have to turn if he didn't want to, at least I don't think Deacon would make me change him. I honestly wouldn't know. It'd be different if he were human, he would definitely need to change, but he already fit the bill of "supernatural secret".

Looking at my phone, I noted that it had somehow already been 30 minutes since I got off the phone and I wasn't even dressed yet. My stomach churned with the thought of doing this. I liked being dead to the Moroi world – well besides the Old Man; but he never actually spoke to me about Court typically. Adrian hadn't been able to visit me either given the fact that the mental "walls" or whatever became reinforced with my change. Abe knew what I was, I don't know how because – like I assured Deacon – I didn't tell him; I assume it had something to do with his more…illegal dealings.

I stood up, leaving the towel on the bed, where I knew it would stay until later and at some point, probably end up under my bed until I did laundry at the end of the week. I walked over to the mirror; it was near the window funny enough. My body used to make me uncomfortable – not that I thought I was ugly but growing up around perfect Moroi would definitely give someone body issues – complete with the fact that by the time I was 19, Dimitri was literally the only person to see my naked and look how that turned out. Now, I was going on 22 (ha, I know, weirds me out too), and my entire family has seen me naked way more than I ever thought I'd be comfortable with but I mean, you change into a wolf several times a week, and you wouldn't be able to afford new underwear all the time either.

Most of the she-wolves I've met, be them family or mutts typically cut their hair; but I couldn't bring myself to do it. Every time the thought crosses my mind, it's immediately followed by the words 'don't cut your hair, wear it up'. My build remained mostly unchanged, still muscular – I willed my breast to grow for a while but that ended up getting me nowhere. The biggest change that happened to me (well besides the obvious one) was my eyes. Gone were the murky/muddy brown, and in were gold irises. I thought they were gorgeous honestly, though they did seem to make people feel uneasy – as though they knew it was unnatural. We could have just chalked it up to contacts but for the whole family to have gold eyes, and a few stragglers who passed through town; we opted to tell people it was a genetic condition. They didn't ask questions if they thought it was genetic. On the random occasion, I've gotten compliments; but in order to avoid any comments, I don't typically leave the general area of the property and town without sunglasses. Also helps me rein in my wolf a bit. While my vision goes black and white as a wolf, in human form my vision only got enhanced.

I quickly grabbed a dark green tank top and a pair of dark wash jeans. Pairing them with a mismatched bra and underwear, I threw the clothes on. No need to put effort into underwear no one is going to be seeing.

'You can do this,' I told myself. 'It's just a question. Not like it has the chance to ruin your life or anything,' I finished my inner thoughts with an internal eyeroll as well. With that thought, I pocket my phone – into my back pocket of course, curse women's jeans – and walked out my bedroom door. I walked slowly, taking in all that my life has been since I got here, all that has changed since I stepped foot into this house and prior. I never thought it would be able to have a job other than guarding. It's not like I was hurting for money, I could never work a day in my life – Abe tends to drop a steady stream of cash into my bank account regardless of how many times I tell him not to. Believe it or not, I was able to turn one of my favorite hobbies into work. Now I'm not going to go as far as to call myself an artist but I draw – occasionally I paint. It's mostly online, people will send me a picture and then ask me to draw or paint it instead, kind of like a portrait. It didn't pay much, but I enjoyed what I did.

By the end of my musings, I was down the stairs and nearing Deacon's office. Listening first, I noticed that he wasn't on the phone or anything, and then proceeded to knock. Hearing him call out to me to come in, I quickly entered and shut the door back behind me.

Deacon was my alpha – Leader of the Pack. He was kind of like the Queen in terms of the Moroi world except that there were various packs throughout the world. Then each pack also ruled over all the mutts in their area as well. There were four packs in the United States; one for each of the time zones, that way, it was easier to take on stragglers and rule breakers without having to have too much time in between the rule breaking and punishment.

Deacon's family has been running things on the East Coast for generations – he doesn't have any kids though, at least not yet. He hasn't met his mate yet either, though I hear mating is actually pretty rare since our kind mate for life; much different from the Guardians/Moroi. That's not to say he hasn't fooled around, but all the guys in the fam are pretty smart and wrapping up. Don't want to create more mutts out there. Physically speaking, Deacon is gorgeous. He was 29, light brown hair and a strong build; any girl would fawn over him, hell I think I saw one swoon one time. That one was funny considering Deacon actually caught her and she at least looked slightly guilty, almost constipated. Deep down, I felt bad for her, but that was very deep down – far below the joy that came from seeing her make a fool of herself.

"Rose – Rose – Rooooose, " I blinked and saw Deacon snapping his fingers in front of my face. Slapping his hand away, I shook my head.

"Sorry about that. Lost in thought," I replied, meanwhile I was still thinking about how to get the words out.

He looked concerned and sat back down behind his desk, pointing to the chair advising me to sit too. "Are you alright" he asked.

Deep breath in…1-2-3…deep breath out…1-2-3.

"Well sir, I just got off the phone with my father," I paused and waited for him to acknowledge – Deacon met him a couple of times – was surprised when a Turkish mobster in a pinstripe suit appeared on his doorstep the first time. He wasn't thrilled at first until my father opened his mouth and advised him that I had nothing to do with him being there, that I had no idea he was coming and that with the businesses he was involved with – he'd be able to track me to Purgatory without breaking a sweat. Once Deacon acknowledged what I said, he gave me a small head nod to continue. "He said that an old friend of mine was having trouble in the vamp community and that she was being targeted." My voice started to come out rushed, maybe a bit panicked (I'm really awkward in one on one situations like this). "in fact, he asked if she, and some others could come here for an unspecified amount of time until they get the threat under control". There. I said it. Deep breath in…1-2-3…deep breath out… 1-2-3.

"Okay," he said while shrugging. My head snapped towards him quickly.

"Okay? Just like that? No "let me think about it?" "How could you endanger us all with this question?" Nothing like that…at all" I was shocked, I was expecting something a little more – some type of reaction.

Deacon let out a laugh, looking down and back up, he met my eyes. "Well to be fair. Abe wasn't actually sure that you would ask or better yet when you would ask and that it was too urgent a situation to sit on."

I bristled, my eyes glowed a bit, "he what?".

Deacon's eyes glowed right back "calm down" he barked out and due to the fact that he was my alpha, I felt the anger fade right out of my body – stupid alpha gene. I walked to the chair in front of him and slumped in it. I felt like I was back in Kirova's office, the feeling made me uncomfortable.

"It wasn't like that," Deacon started. My eyes were on the carpet, and I had a scowl on my face. He continued, "He knew you'd ask eventually, but he also knew that what he was asking was going to be hard on you. He's your father, Rose. He cares about you. Be happy you have a father that actually cares and is willing to help anyway that he can."

I knew he was right, but the fact that he went over my head. To MY alpha. Well…it made me look weak. "I don't like appearing weak. He should have let me handle it."

"You're not appearing weak. Emotions aren't weak. They make us stronger. You needed time to adjust to the idea. You've said before they think you're dead. I'm sure it wasn't easy to come down and ask me." Smirking at me, he looked me in the eye and mockingly said "it was actually cute you know, like my kid sister."

"Bitch" I said to him.

"Jerk," he said right back. "Now get out of my office and call him back. You have arrangements to make."

"SIR YES SIR" I mocked with a salute before walking out of his office, stopping at his door I turned quickly. "Deacon". He looked up at me. "Thank you." I said with a light smile.

"No problem, Rose. We protect our friends and family. Always". I nodded.

I closed Deacon's door and leaned on the wall next to it. I grabbed my phone from my back pocket and hit re-dial. The phone rang once and before he even said anything I knew he was on the phone – benefit of being his kid or something. "Abe. We're on. Send them on over here," and promptly hung up.

This was going to be interesting. My stomach was churning and I was starting to regret the rabbit I ate this morning.

Damn I needed a nap.