Disclaimer: We do not own Harry Potter or anything relating to JK Rowlings Books. What more can I say.
For Every Purpose Under Heaven
Chapter Two: Where Do I Hide?
The air outside was cool as James followed Remus and Sirius off the train. The noise of students piling off the train into the station filled James ears as he struggled through the crowd. Over the low rumble a clear voice rang through the air. "Head Boy and Head Girl over here please! Lily Evans and James Potter over here please!"
James recognized the voice immediately as that of his grandfathers, the headmaster of Hogwarts, Albus Dumbledore. Dumbledore was his mother's father, something that had always annoyed Lily to no ends, as she was always on the look out for any special treatment he may be receiving. Looking at her now he saw her usual cold glare that she reserved for him as she turned to wave at Dumbledore. Sighing, he headed towards the voice, bidding Sirius and Remus farewell. Up ahead he saw Lily Evans bounce up to Dumbledore, looking severely angry about something. As he approached he caught what was the tail end of their conversation.
"But why him? Remus deserved it so much more since he had worked so hard. James is bound to mess it up, he's a troublemaker he won't set the right example for the younger students." Lily said in a persuasive tone.
"Enough Ms Evans. My decision is final, whether you like it or not. Ah James, glad you could make it." Dumbledore said catching sight of his grandson.
"But he threatened to jinx me on the train!" she protested loudly.
"I said enough!" Dumbledore said sternly. "How are you James?"
James looked up at his grandfather and nodded soundlessly. Lily scowled at him and crossed her arms, shifting her gaze sternly back onto Dumbledore.
"Right then," He said cheerfully, "Now that we're all here, I want to talk to you both about your duties as heads of the school."
At this Lily snorted as though this was more for James benefit than her own. Dumbledore cleared his throat and gave Lily a dark look, and she shrank back giving her full attention to the headmaster.
"Right. As you well know, being head of the school is an enormous responsibility. You will be required to patrol the corridors after hours in rotating shifts with the teachers. You are to always try to set a good example for the younger students to follow at all times. You have charge over the prefects, who will report to you each evening regarding the events of the day. You have the power to deduct house points from misbehaving students, in limitation of course. A teacher can revoke any punishment that you hand out if it is thought to be too extreme."
At this Lily made a noise of disapproval, but was quickly silenced by the look in Dumbledore's eyes. James throughout this entire speech was struggling to pay attention. His mind kept wandering to a place where nothing could reach him.
"As you are now the two highest ranking students in the school, you have received some privileges. This year, you two will be working as a team to help run this school and make sure the students behaviour is at its highest standard. In order to act as a team I firmly believe it is essential to first learn to live as a team. Therefore, you will not be staying in your usual house dormitories this year. You will have your own shared dormitory, where you will both live for the remainder of the year, complete with its own common room and everything that you will require."
At the noises of protests coming from both the students suddenly Dumbledore chuckled, holding up a finger to silence them, and continued.
"Your friends will be able to visit you in your dormitory of course, though I would prefer that you spend as much time together as possible, to really get to know each other. This is the whole purpose of putting you together, after all." He said with a twinkle in his eye.
"You can't be serious!" Lily said furiously, "I have to live in the same dormitory as him all year?"
"I assure you Ms Evans I am quite serious."
"But Sir!"
"Don't worry Evans you won't have to put up with me much longer," James said wearily, "Sir, I wish to resign from the position of head boy."
"I'm afraid you can't do that James. Binding magical contract I'm afraid." said Dumbledore cheerfully.
"What? I never signed any contract!" he said in disbelief.
Dumbledore glanced around shiftily then cleared his throat and quickly said "Anyway, if your ready follow me, I'll show you to your quarters. Ms Evans, this way please."
Scowling, the pair followed him up to the castle and off towards their dormitory, which, as it happens, was located on the seventh floor behind a statue of a frumpy looking witch.
"Gillyweed" Professor Dumbledore announced cheerfully.
"Excuse me?" Lily asked.
"The password dear girl, the password." He said smiling.
"Oh!" she said as the statue swung to the left to reveal a narrow corridor leading towards the head student's common room.
"Mind your heads." Dumbledore said as he swept inside the tunnel and lead them forth into a cozy room much like that of the Gryffindor common room.
A grand fireplace was roaring in the centre of the room, and hundreds of floating candles hovered over their heads, brightly lighting up the shadows. Several soft, squishy armchairs lay scattered around the room. The great tall windows were covered in heavy dark red drapes. Several red and gold throw rugs lay on the floor. James couldn't help but notice the décor was obviously designed around their house colours. Two spiralling staircases lead off from the main room, one swinging right, and the other left.
"Lily, your room is up the right hand staircase. James, yours is up the Left. Bathrooms are joined to your rooms. Your belongings have already been brought up by the house elves." Dumbledoretold thempolitely.
"Sir," James began, "You can't be serious about this..."
"As I have already informed Ms Evans, I am perfectly serious. There will be no arguments. You will learn to live together. Do I make myself clear?" he asked in a firm voice.
"Perfect." He said without waiting for their answers. "Now if you'll kindly escort me down to the feast. I think we shall be just in time for the sorting ceremony."
The mood in the great hall was boisterous and cheerful. That is, until James walked in. The noise dropped to silence and James' footsteps echoed through the great room as he made his way to the Gryffindor table. Sirius clapped him on the back and gave him a bracing stare as he sat down at the very end of the long bench. They looked at him inquiringly, obviously wondering where he had been and what Dumbledore had said.
James quickly launched into the story of how he was expected to live with Evans for the whole year in their personal dormitory, and began ranting about the injustice of it all when Sirius started grinning stupidly.
"What?" asked James in curiosity.
"Oh, nothing..." he said smirking.
"What?" James said again more forcefully, suddenly aware of the fact that Lupin was now smirking too.
"Just you know... You and Evans... alone... in a dormitory..." Sirius said trying to keep his voice casual.
"And your point is?" James asked.
Sirius grinned at Remus then launched into the best girl impersonation he could muster. "Oh James... It's so lonely in this big empty dormitory... Whatever shall we do? I'm scared of the dark... I don't like being in my room all alone... I'm so weak and defenseless... can I sleep in your room?"
"Sirius..." James said in a bored voice.
"Yes James?" Sirius attempted to stifle his grin.
"Don't be a twat."
"Yes James."
Across the table James suddenly noticed that Lily had turned a nasty shade of red, and he thought that if it had been possible, steam would have been issuing from her ears.
"I think she heard you..." James whispered to Sirius.
Sirius looked up at Lily and laughed, "I think she did too" and gave her a bashful wave.
"Grow up!" she yelled as she threw her pumpkin juice at Sirius, who ducked out of the way just in time.
"Easy Evans... All I was saying is its going to be pretty hard to resist James charms while you're living together." He said grinning.
"Whatever." she snorted and returned to her friend's conversation.
As Sirius stopped laughing, all the whispers from the surrounding tables suddenly met James ears once more. His face went slack and he dropped his head looking at his shoes. Sirius looked alarmed until the whispers too caught his ears.
Sirius raised an eyebrow at James and his shining eyes clearly said;
"Just point me in the direction of the one you want me to take out first! The night is young and you know how much I enjoy clobbering people."
James grinned half-heartedly. He was grateful of his friend's attempts to try and cheer him up, but he still felt guilty every time he smiled. Looking up at the staff table James saw Dumbledore watching him carefully. Catching his eye James quickly looked away, and when he chanced a glance back, Dumbledore had risen from his seat, commanding the silence of the entire school. They had been too busy discussing James living arrangements for the next year to pay attention to the sorting ceremony, of which he remembered nothing. He glanced to his side to see both Sirius and Remus looking at him in concern. He sighed and turned his attention back to Dumbledore.
"To our new students, welcome, welcome to Hogwarts. To our returning students, welcome back." He said, his eyes twinkling behind his half moon spectacles. "I have some announcements to make and some beginning of term notices, but before I announce these..." he said, pausing for dramatic effect, "Dig in."
It took a few moments for the students to work out that the feast had just appeared on the tables before them, but once they had, the hall was filled with the bustling sounds of cutlery, laughter and shouted conversation.
Sirius turned to James and grinned. "Well, you heard the man, let's eat."
"You go ahead, I'm not hungry."
"Ah..." he said, throwing Lupin a significant look. "Me and Mooney here thought you might say that. That's why we got you..." he paused, turning around and removing something from the seat between Remus and himself, "Dun Dun Dun... Treacle Tart!" He shouted as he spun around grinning stupidly, the perfectly decorated tart on a plate in his hands.
"No thanks guys".
"What? You? Say no to treacle tart? What is the world coming too? Lupin you better check his temperature... Something must be wrong with him..." Sirius said jovially before he could stop himself.
"Oh? You think?" James said in a dark voice.
"Sorry mate I-"
"-Wasn't thinking... You were just trying to cheer me up I know I know. Listen guys I'm going to bed." He said quietly, trying to keep his voice as normal as possible.
He felt worse than it was even possible as he walked away from the table and out of the hall, heading up the stairs to Gryffindor tower. He didn't want to be angry at Sirius, he knew he was only trying to help, but everything that had happened over the summer was still too close to his heart for him to be laughing and joking with his friends again. He wished he didn't feel so miserable, but failed to see how he could make those feelings disappear.
"Going somewhere?" came a voice from behind him as he climbed up the stairs to the seventh floor.
He turned to see professor Dumbledore leaning casually against the banister of the stairs. The diversion prevented James from leaving the staircase in time before it began to shift to another location, as these stairs frequently did. James cursed under his breath.
"To bed, Professor. I'm not hungry." James said quietly.
"Yes, so young master Black informed me. When was the last time you ate, James?" Dumbledore said softly.
James had to think about this. The truth was he had no idea. No perception of time that had passed since the incident, no perception of what was going on around him.
"I'm not sure, Sir," he mumbled.
"I thought as much. We need to talk James."
"No we don't, Sir." James said stiffly, he would not be forced to talk.
Dumbledore observed the boy carefully. "I cared for them too, you know." he said quietly.
James looked at the steps below him, his eyes suddenly blurry. "I know..." he whispered. "But you didn't have to see.."
Dumbledore looked suddenly pained and he moved up the stairs a few more spaces.
"Are you sleeping well James?" he asked tentatively.
"No, Sir."
"Nightmares?"
"And worse. I guess you could call them that. Except they never leave me. Not even when I wake."
Something splashed onto the step below James softly.
Dumbledore frowned and pulled a small bottle out of his robes, handing it to the boy before him. "Dreamless sleep potion" he said to the enquiring look. "It will help you get some rest. I know it cannot fix anything, but at least you will sleep."
James looked up at Dumbledore and was surprised to see a tear rolling down his face.
"Sir, I can't do this." He said, handing Dumbledore his Head Boy badge. "I don't want it, it should belong to Remus."
"Is that your opinion, or Ms Evans?" Dumbledore asked shrewdly.
James looked up in surprise. "I believe it is an opinion we both share. You made a mistake when you gave me this."
"It is unfortunate then, that it cannot be undone, is it not?" the old man said, his eyes holding a mischievous twinkle.
James was starting to get angry. "Don't play games with me old man! I don't want to be head boy! I can't do it! I can't!"
"You can and you will. You just need some time, no one expects great things of you right now James." said Dumbledore firmly.
"I'm resigning as Quidditch captain. I'm not playing this year." James said dropping his volume again.
"I kindly refuse your resignation." Dumbledore said cheerfully.
"You can't do that!" said James in frustration.
"Oh, I think you'll find I can" he said happily, the twinkle in his eyes becoming increasingly more annoying to the young man standing opposite him.
"Did you just come up here to piss me off or what?" Shouted James, his eyes blurred with angry tears.
Dumbledore shrugged. "Yes I suppose I did really."
James looked at the old man incredulously. "What?" he said in confusion.
"At least you're talking now. You've been through much James, and you've shut yourself down. You need to let these emotions out; it's the only way you can begin to heal. You're playing right into his hands, James. Don't you see that if you keep on going the way you are you'll destroy yourself. You're my grandson, and I'm worried about you." Dumbledore said with a deep concern in his voice.
"Don't you tell me what I'm doing? Where have you been for the last two weeks? While I've been going through hell? You don't understand, you'll never understand! You obviously don't give a damn about me so just back off! I'm doing just fine without your advice and without your stupid potions!" he said angrily as he slammed the small bottle of dreamless sleep potion into the steps at his feet, watching it burst into a thousand shattered pieces.
He spun around on his heel and tore up the final stairs and off towards the common room. He ran blindly all the way up to his dormitory and threw himself down on his bed and swore as loudly as he could manage through the muffling of his pillow.
He was alerted suddenly by a small wheezing cough behind him. It was then he realized he had come to the wrong common room out of habit. Swearing loudly, he spun around sharply to see Peter sitting on his own bed unpacking his things. He jumped in alarm at the look on James' face as though he had been burned and whimpered slightly.
"S- s- sorry James... I – I was just unpacking... didn't much feel like... sitting at the feast... you know..." he stuttered, fear still in his eyes.
"It's ok Wormtail..." said James sitting up quickly and yanking something that shimmered brightly out of his back pocket. "I need your help anyway... I can't breathe in this place..."
Judging by Peter's expression, the tone of James voice was still somewhat alarming to him, it was empty sounding, almost soulless.
"A-anything James... Anything at all..."
"Good. Now hurry, I appreciate this Peter, I really do." He threw his invisibility cloak over both of them and they crept slowly into the common room and out of the portrait hole.
Sirius and Remus headed towards James and Lily's dormitory nearly two hours later and gave the password James had told them earlier. As they headed down the narrow tunnel towards the head students common room Remus shoved Sirius in front of him.
"Remus" Remus said in a mocking voice "You better check his temperature, there must be something wrong with him..." There was a resounding crack as Remus whacked Sirius over the head. "Honestly! Could you have picked anything worse to say?"
"Ow! Well sorry! I was just trying to help damnit. James knows full well by now that I'm an ignorant, dim-witted bastard! He probably expected it!" Sirius yelled.
Remus smirked perhaps a little too obviously, which landed him a whack upside the head.
"Ouch! What? You said it not me!"
"Well you're not supposed to smirk in agreement!" thundered Sirius.
"I didn't smirk in agreement! I smirked because I just realized something!"
"Oh yeah? What's that then?" he asked in a warning tone.
"That you must be fairly In touch with your inner eye if you know you're an ignorant dim-witted bastard." Remus said with a grin, and slipped out of Sirius' arms reach and into the brightly lit room before he could lay hands on him.
The sudden entrance made Lily jump, then scowl in disgust as she realized who had entered.
"What do you want?" she barked.
"Calm down Evans, we came to see James." Sirius said in a bored voice.
"He's not here, I thought he was with you." she said in surprise.
"Maybe he's hiding from you upstairs, you're not exactly captain supportive today are you?" Remus snickered.
"He's not, I checked." Lily replied shortly.
Sirius snorted. "Can't leave the poor guy alone for five minutes can you?"
"Ho hum" Lily said in a bored voice, "I asked the statue, James hasn't been back here since we left with Dumbledore. Maybe he's in your common room. You know, the one that belongs to all those people who aren't important enough to be head students?" Instead of the outrage Lily had expected to find she was instead met with looks of great concern.
"Where would he go?" Both Sirius and Remus chimed at each other at the same time in panicked voices.
"I don't know!" they replied to each other.
"Where's the map!" They barked to each other, and then suddenly tore from the room before Lily could even ask what the hell they were talking about.
"I just knew it, screwed up already and we've only been here four hours. Typical." She muttered.
"Where is James, Peter?" said Sirius, towering over him threateningly.
"I- I don't know wh- what you're talking about!"
They had entered there own dormitory to discover a nervous and slightly suspicious looking Wormtail cowering at the sight of them. The look in his fearful eyes told them plainly that he knew exactly where James had gone.
"DON'T make me do this Peter!" Sirius yelled pulling out his wand.
Peter shrieked again and ran behind Remus, cowering like a dog. Remus spun around and grabbed him by the arms, holding him still so that Sirius could get a good shot in. "Wait!" Peter yelled in panic, "He went to Hogsmeade! Under the invisibility cloak! He made me transform and freeze the Whomping Willow for him!"
"Hogsmeade?" said Remus as he dropped a shaking Peter to the floor. "But why would he go there?"
Peter whimpered and crawled back to his bed.
"ANSWER HIM!" Sirius thundered.
"I-I don't know! He wouldn't say! He told me not to tell anyone where he had gone!" Peter said trembling.
"Shit..." said Sirius loudly. "Remus this doesn't sound good. I'm going to look for him."
"Sirius..." Lupin began.
"No, I have too. Anything could have happened to him, you saw what he was like at the feast!"
"I know, I know. I'm coming too."
Sirius noticed Peter was starting to edge towards the door slowly.
"Oh no I don't think so Peter... I need you to freeze the stump. You can do whatever you like after that." Sirius said, grabbing him by the collar of his robes.
Peter whimpered quietly but nodded all the same.
"Ok Remus, bring me the map." Sirius said quickly.
Remus snatched something out of the bottom of his trunk and smoothed it out between them on the bed. "I solemnly swear that I am up to no good." he said as he tapped the parchment with his wand.
"Ok" said Sirius scanning it quickly. "Filch is in his office. Dumbledore is in his office. The coast is clear... except... wait, Shit. Evans is patrolling the entrance hall. She must know we're up to something."
Remus clucked his tongue impatiently. "Well of course she does, we pretty much just revealed that James has flown the coop, and it is after hours. She'll be waiting for us. She'll do anything to nab James for something and lose him his Head Boy badge."
"Shit." Sirius said under his breath. "We should have been more discreet, I'm just so worried about what he'll do, I mean, you saw him today. He's a mess."
"I know Sirius," Remus said bracingly, "But it's ok, I'll distract her, you and Peter sneak past us, I've got an idea that should keep her full attention. Just make sure you find him ok?"
"Don't sweat it Mooney, I'll find him" Sirius said quietly. "Right, Peter, you should transform now, so I don't have to listen to your incessant whimpering all the way downstairs."
"Yes Sirius." Peter said as though obeying an order, and vanished from the bed, leaving behind a small sickly looking rat. Sirius scooped him up and put him in his pocket. "You chew on my wand, and I'll chew off your tail." He spoke threateningly into the pocket.
Remus snickered. "Ok let's go"
Their path was not hindered by any person as they headed toward the entrance hall. Sirius guessed that this was because everyone was so exhausted from the train ride and bursting at the seams from the feast to be doing anything but sleeping. But right on queue, as they reached the entrance hall, they spotted Lily Evans checking a room leading off the entrance hall for rule breakers. Sirius clung to the shadows as he stole along the wall towards the great double doors. Remus however walked right up the middle of the hall in plain view and shouted out to Lily. "What?" she said in a sharp voice, "Come to save Potter's ass have you? You shouldn't be here you'll get in trouble."
"Lily, Lily, Lily," Lupin said quietly, "I am a prefect you know. I'm not going to be in trouble for patrolling. And as a matter of fact I just came to apologize."
"Oh? For what?" said Lily, still slightly affronted at his behaviour.
"For yelling at you and trying to jinx you on the train." Remus said as sincerely as he could manage, for behind her, Sirius was creeping through the shadows like a ninja. "I'm sorry; it's just that, James has been through a lot of shit the past few months. I just don't want anything to set him off, you know, push him over the deep end. He's really... Well, he's not himself right now."
Lily puffed herself up and snorted. "That's no excuse to be running around after hours. And don't give me that 'He's patrolling' bullshit, I've already checked and I know he's not. Don't get yourself into trouble over him Remus; just tell me where he is. Dumbledore will have his head for this"
"I gathered that that was all you wanted to know for." said Remus angrily. "Just forget about where James is, leave him alone for five seconds why don't you?"
"No! It's not right and I won't accept it!" She said defiantly.
"Well, you're on your own then." Remus said firmly. "I just wanted to apologize for loosing my temper that's all. I won't help you ruin James chance at head boy."
Lily sighed and looked at Remus. "I understand. You're loyal; I'll say that about you."
"Thank you". Remus said quietly, and, noticing that the Entrance hall door had just clicked closed, he added, "Though I'll never understand why you're such a bitch to James all the time, I'll say that about you."
Before he turned to leave her, he saw the fire burning in her eyes as she glared at him. Remus smirked, and allowed himself a little self appreciation. She hadn't even heard Sirius trip slightly as he went out of the door. Remus decided that harassing Lily was actually quite fun, and made a mental note to himself to do so more often. He grinned to himself, 'mission accomplished'. Whistling quietly to himself, he headed back up to the common room to await Sirius' return, and, hopefully, James'. Behind him, Lily Evans stomped furiously across the hall to check another adjoining room for someone to apprehend. Remus could just see Sirius' face as he stole away across the school grounds, proud to be one up on Lily Evans, and only a few hours into the school year.