Disclaimer: We do not own Harry Potter, It's characters, themes or settings. All belongs to JK Rowling, except the original ideas pertained in this fanfiction.
For Every Purpose Under Heaven
Chapter Three: The Irrepressible Ache
The great shaggy black dog bounded into the shrieking shack and barked once, swinging his head from side to side. He sniffed the floor curiously and picked up the scent he was looking for. As he suspected, it lead to the high window, and only escape route from the shack. The dog transformed suddenly and Sirius shook out his hair, swearing quietly and gazing up at the window. With an almighty leap he grasped the windowsill with his bare hands and heaved himself up and halfway through the window.
"Geez James you really were keen to escape weren't you?" he muttered under his breath as he swung his leg out the window and looked down. There was quite a drop to the ground below.
Sirius sighed. "The things I do for your love, James Potter."
He closed his eyes and jumped rather awkwardly from the window. Landing unharmed he quickly picked himself up, transformed once more, and stole away down towards the village of Hogsmeade. Under the cover of darkness it was almost impossible for anyone to see the great black dog bounding along the street of the village, since he clung to the shadows in any case, peering through the windows of the establishments that were still open at this time of night, looking for any trace of James.
He couldn't help but notice that Hogsmeade by night was a lot seedier than the Hogsmeade he knew during the daytime. It had a strange vibe to it; it was strange to him to think that this wonderful place could also harbor dangers at night time. These were not safe times, after all.
Finally, as Padfoot crept passed the Hogs Head Inn, he saw James swaying from a barstool, with what looked like a shot of Fire whiskey clutched in his hand. Heading around the corner of the Inn, Sirius transformed once more, ran his hand through his hair and walked back around to the entrance and pushed open the door. The drunken ruckus that met his ears deafened him for a brief moment and he staggered backwards. Righting himself, he pushed onward towards the bar and clapped a hand down on James shoulder.
"The next time you want to go pissing up in Hogsmeade, why don't you invite me too? Looks like I missed out on all the fun." He said grinning, as he looked around the bar at the bunch of seedy drunks who were all eyeing him suspiciously. Clearly anyone who wasn't already drunk was not welcome in this bar.
"Sirius!" James said loudly. "Glad you could make it. Can I get a Fire Whiskey for this gentleman please!" he shouted to the barman who smelled suspiciously of goats.
"That wont be necessary my good man." Sirius said nodding to the barman. "We've got to go mate, Remus is waiting for us."
"Remus? Where's Remus? Why didn't he come too?" James said slurring his words slightly.
"He had to hold off your girlfriend while I broke out of school to come and find your ass, didn't he?" Sirius said, smirking slightly. "Good thing we have your invisibility cloak. Sneaking back will be much easier."
"Lilly was there?"
"Of course she was there mate. She was patrolling the entrance hall."
"Oh, right, of course. Shame Remus couldn't make it; I think he would like this place."
Sirius snorted as he looked around again at the dirty unshaven men inhabiting this bar, one of whom was now crawling around under the barstools looking for his wand, another who was picking his underwear out of his ass.
"I'm sure he would mate. Come on" he said with an uncontrollable grin as he put an arm around James to help him stand.
"Sirius... I don't feel so good..."
"I know mate... Fire Whiskey tends to do that..."
"I think I'm gonna be si..." but before James could get the rest of the sentence out he vomited all over the floor of the Inn.
"Nice projection mate! I'd say that was an 8.5 out of 10, a little more work and you'll be unbeatable!" said Sirius with a look of awe.
"GET OUT!" yelled the barman as he advanced on them with his wand. "Throw up on my floor will you? Little mongrels! Don't ever let me catch you back here again or there'll be hell to pay!"
Laughing, Sirius staggered as fast as he could with James out of the Inn and half dragged, half carried him down the street.
"Well now, that'll be a story to tell the grandkids about." Sirius said as James started up a chorus of the school song.
"Ugh, James, remind me to get you some singing lessons ok?"
All that emitted from James was a series of low incoherent mumbles.
"James, stay with me buddy. I know I am all that is man but I really don't want to have to carry you all the way to the castle ok?" Sirius said struggling under James' weight. He gave him a sharp dig in the ribs, causing James to yell.
Sirius sniggered in amazement. "Some first night we're having this year aye, James? Remind me why we didn't get blindingly drunk every other year on our first night back?"
"Because my family wasn't murdered in front of my eyes every other year right before I got back here." James said with a hollow laugh.
Sirius faltered and looked across into James' eyes. "I'm sorry James. I'm truly sorry."
"I know you are. I'm sorry for acting like a prat. I just don't know how to deal with this shit." he said, his voice choking slightly.
Sirius could see tears rolling down his face in the moonlight. "Its ok mate, you'll get through this, me and Remus, we'll help you get through this. You can come stay with me; I've got my own place now and all. I owe you for all the times I crashed at your place."
"Thanks Sirius. The house is just so empty. I don't know if I can go back there yet."
"I understand. Did Dumbledore find you? He chased you out of the Great Hall."
James snorted. "Yeah he found me alright. Refused to let me give up Head Boy. Refused to let me quit the Quidditch team. Selfish bastard. Doesn't give a damn what I want does he?"
Sirius shrugged. "He's senile. We have to make allowances for senile people. And everybody knows Dumbledore's a crazy old fart."
James laughed his first real laugh since his parents had been murdered. Then as his laughter died away, he turned to Sirius and said in a wavering voice, "I'm glad I still have you Sirius."
"I love you too sweet cheeks," said Sirius grinning. "Though I'd love you a whole lot more if you'd support your own weight."
Getting back into the shrieking shack caused Sirius severe problems, seeing as James could barely stand longer than 10 seconds on his own. He ended up boosting James up through the open window, who came straight down on the other side with a resounding thud.
"Ohh, your gonna feel that tomorrow James!" he shouted in amusement through the wall.
The only reply he received sounded remarkably similar to a muffled, "I'm going to kill you."
Once Sirius had managed to scrabble back up into the window and drop down inside the shack, he met James who was rubbing a lump on the back of his head profusely.
"Sorry about that buddy, couldn't be helped, you know..." smirked Sirius.
"Yeah yeah..." muttered James under his breath.
The journey back through the tunnel was uneventful beside Sirius smacking his head into the ceiling several times whilst trying to balance James beside him. When at last they had reached the Whomping willow Sirius transformed back into the shaggy black dog and made sure James was holding on tightly. He burst forth from the opening at the base of the tree at the speed of light, not giving it a change to pummel them to death.
Once he had bounded at least several yards out of the trees violent grasp, Sirius let James slide to the ground, then transformed back, shaking out his hair. Pulling James' Invisibility cloak out from his back pocket, Sirius attempted as best as he could to cover them both, and once more aided a staggering James across the school grounds and up towards the castle. Grass stained after tripping several times, Sirius breathed a sigh of relief when they finally hit the stone steps that lead up to the great entrance doors.
Peering through the crack in the doors Sirius saw that Lilly was no longer anywhere in sight, and figured she must have given up and returned to her dormitory.
"Come on buddy, time to move" Sirius whispered as the great doors creaked open.
An invisible Sirius half dragged half carried the invisible drunken James back up to the seventh floor where Remus was waiting for them by the witch statue.
"Bout time! What took you so long?" he breathed quietly as Sirius threw off the cloak.
"Oh, I'm sorry, perhaps you would have coped better dragging his drunken ass back to school." Sirius said dripping with false sincerity.
"He's drunk?" Remus said with a suppressed grin.
"Completely annihilated. Threw up all over the Hogs Head on our way out. The barman is not a happy chappy." Sirius said smirking at the memory.
Remus grinned. "Come on James," he said, wrapping his arm around James other side, "Let's get you to bed".
Guiding the staggering, still singing James down the narrow corridor was no easy feat, and as they entered the common room an exclamation of victory erupted from one of the armchairs. Lilly sat watching them, her arms crossed, a triumphant gloating look on her face.
"Bit late, isn't it James?" she said in triumph. "Don't think any of the teachers will approve of this."
"Shut up Evans" Sirius said in disgust, struggling to keep James upright.
"What's the matter with him?" She asked, noticing his lack of ability to stand, "Wait... is he..? Drunk? Oh my God he is! What the hell are you playing at Potter? I knew you were a complete waste of space but this? Drinking problems huh? I suppose you get that from your father as well."
"Pipe down Evans!" Remus yelled.
"And after everything Dumbledore has done for you, getting you the position of head boy. Probably thought mum and dad would be so happy, that they'd get to gloat to all their friends, that their precious son is head boy! All the attention you would have got! Dotting on you like a spoilt little 2 year old! Now they'll be ashamed! They'll have to cover it up so that they don't have to explain why their son is an alcoholic!"
"I never wanted this job!" James said in a wavering voice.
"Whatever," she said stubbornly, "Mommy and Daddy will be so proud of little James, Head Boy, what an accomplishment. You can't tell me that they had nothing to do with Dumbledore's final decision! You're a spoilt brat! If mommy and daddy can't get you something good old grandpa will! Or they'll manipulate him into getting it for you! Your parents are just as bad as you are! Lie, cheat and manipulate and oh I'm sorry, DRINK your way to the top, that's..."
Lilly froze mid sentence. James had leapt up from his deflated position so suddenly and violently that Remus and Sirius were thrown off of him and had to leap back on him to hold him back. His wand was sitting right in the nape of Lilly's neck, his chest was heaving furiously and his eyes burned dangerously.
"One more word Evans and I swear to god!" he screamed, heart pounding.
Lilly gulped, not daring to move as Lupin attempted to drag James away from her.
"Just shut your mouth! Just shut it!" He yelled. "You don't know anything about my parents! Nothing! You don't know anything about my family! Don't you dare insult them ever again or I swear to god I'll kill you! I'll kill you!" he burst into angry sobs and Sirius and Remus wrestled him to the ground.
The next thing they knew a swirl of purple robes that was Albus Dumbledore burst into the room with a grave expression on his panicked face.
"James!" He said rushing to the boy. "James - are you alright?"
Lilly was shaking so badly she had to sit down. "He's drunk professor" she said in a voice as strong as she could manage.
"Shut up Evans!" Sirius said angrily.
"Sirius hold your tongue!" Dumbledore shouted. Lilly made to speak and he said "You too Ms Evans, Shut it."
"James?" he said again to the boy who was sobbing uncontrollably on the floor.
"Get off me!" he yelled angrily as he thrashed about on the floor, fighting off the three people crouching over him.
"Hold him please boys, quickly!" Dumbledore said calmly as he reached into his robes for a small bottle. "I'm sorry James, but this really is necessary. You'll understand in the morning, of course." He said quietly as he forced a mouthful down the boy's throat.
Immediately the boy relaxed and within moments fell into a deep still sleep.
"What did you give him?" Sirius yelled in protest.
"Dreamless sleep potion, Sirius, I'm not likely to poison my own grandson am I?" Dumbledore said forcing a grim smile.
Sirius looked abashed and mumbled an apology.
"Now." Dumbledore said looking up at Sirius and Remus, "Tell me everything. How did he get this way?"
"He went to Hogsmeade under the invisibility cloak and started drinking in the Hogs Head Inn." Sirius said in a defeated voice, realizing anything but the truth was futile right now.
"Yes, I gathered as much." Dumbledore said quietly. "But what I meant was how did he become so enraged?"
"You can thank Evans for that, Sir." Remus said spitefully. "She was yelling at him, and mouthing off about his family, his parents mainly Sir, though I believe you were mentioned once or twice. She called him a..."
"That will do Remus." Dumbledore said quietly. "Through the ignorance and stupidity displayed by Ms Evans here tonight I will take it that we can safely assume she has not heard yet?"
At this Lily made an outraged noise.
"Yes Sir." Sirius and Remus said in unison.
Dumbledore sighed. "Boys, would you mind carrying James up to his bedroom and getting him settled please?"
"Yes Professor"
"Yes Professor"
The two boys picked James up around the shoulders and carried him carefully up the Left staircase. After they had disappeared up into James room Dumbledore turned to Lily, a look of disappointment on his face.
"I would appreciate it if you would be nice to James from now on, Lily. Try to get along with him, at least" He said, rising from the floor and heading to the narrow hallway to leave.
"Sir!" she shouted after him, "What haven't I heard yet? No one will tell me."
Dumbledore sighed. "I'm afraid that's up to James to tell you if he wants you to know. It is not my place, nor would I tell you even if it were. Go to bed Ms Evans, its late. And if I hear anymore about you baiting James like that..."
"He deserved it!" she said flaring up again.
"No, he didn't. So kindly keep your mouth shut. And just so you know, you are forbidden to tell anybody about the events that have taken place here tonight. As far as you are concerned, Ms Evans, they never took place. Am I understood?" he said, losing patience.
"Yes Sir." She said angrily, as he disappeared down the hallway.
Sirius and Remus appeared just in time for her to barge past them as she tore up the stairway to her own room.
Sirius grinned evilly to Remus. "Somebody got told off..."
"Certainly looks that way." said Remus in a slightly more cheerful tone. "I hope James is ok tomorrow."
"We'll just have to keep a closer eye on him from now on." Sirius said thoughtfully.
"And keep that bitch Evans off his back." Remus added as an afterthought.
"Quite." Sirius said as they exited the common room and headed back towards their own dormitory.
"He's holding all his emotions in, that's not a good thing." Remus said in concern.
"Don't worry. We'll talk to him about that tomorrow." Sirius said gravely, then added with a grin, "But hey, if all else fails, we'll just have to tag along the next time he decides to sneak out and get drunk."
Remus grinned. "All for one and one for all. I think I could handle getting drunk for James sake."
"Indeed, my good Mooney, so could I."
The next morning James awoke to find his grandfather sitting in a chair beside his bed, watching him sleep. He rubbed his eyes blearily and sat up in his bed.
"What time is it?" he asked wearily.
"Nearly midday." Dumbledore replied kindly.
"What! I've missed half my classes!" James said in panic.
"It's ok James. The teachers aren't expecting you in lessons today."
James looked at Dumbledore in shock. "They know? You told them... them... what happened last night?"
"Not exactly, no. I merely suggested that you needed time to adjust today." He said, his eyes twinkling slightly.
"Oh... I... thank you." He said for lack of better things to say.
"You're most welcome. Oh," he added, pointing to a bottle on the bedside cabinet. "A new batch of dreamless sleep potion. You know, just incase..."
James nodded sheepishly. "Thanks."
"Not at all, James... I think I should apologize... for not coming to stay with you after your parents and sister died. I too, was grieving of course... I was wrong to leave you on your own, I'm very sorry." Dumbledore said quietly, his eyes becoming distant and foggy.
"It's ok." James said automatically, but he knew full well that his grandfather knew otherwise.
Dumbledore smiled kindly. "I will be here, James, whenever you need me. I promise."
"Thanks."
Dumbledore stood up to leave, ruffling James' hair softly as he headed for the door.
"I miss them so much." James blurted out suddenly.
Dumbledore stopped and turned around to look at him in surprise.
"Their voices... their laughter." He continued. "They were in so much pain, grandpa... so much pain..."
Tears slowly began to stain the boy's sheets as his eyes burned furiously. He did not blink them back this time.
The old man walked wearily back to the boy's bed and sat, embracing him in a powerful hug. "I miss them too." He said gently as his own tears began to form. "So, so much. I wish I could take away your memories, James, but they will make you stronger in the end. You have more courage than I have ever had. You get that from your father."
"Will it always hurt this much?" he asked in a choking voice.
"Yes. But you will learn to deal with it over time." He said softly, then adding in a whisper, "Yes... it will take some time..."
James had no other visitors for the rest of the day until Remus, Peter and Sirius showed up late that afternoon.
"I've heard some crazy rumors about a projectile vomit effort that could have landed you a world record." Remus said grinning ear to ear.
James laughed sheepishly.
"It was a valiant effort" Sirius pitched in. "But the title will be mine, I assure you."
"Dream on Bone lover." James said smirking, "I, my friend, am undefeatable."
Sirius laughed in bark-like laugh. "Oh-ho! Is that a challenge?"
"You bet it is Padfoot, I value distance over quantity, and you however, have always been the quantity type. There's just no way you can win." James said confidently.
"It's on then." Sirius said in a determined voice. "You will bow before me, Prongs."
James laughed. But his laugh quickly faded as Lily entered his room. She looked at them all in a disapproving sort of way.
"Prongs? Padfoot? You guys are so childish." She said with a snort, and then turning to James she added in a soft voice, "Feeling better?"
Remus and Sirius both snapped their heads around so fast there was a cracking sound. "Why do you care?" they barked in unison.
"Guys." James cut in, "Much better, thanks Evans." James said with a half smile.
"Good." She said stiffly. "Just make sure it doesn't happen again." She added in a softer tone.
Sirius glared at her and James in outrage.
"It won't." he replied, his gaze focused intensely on her.
"Good." she said, turning slightly pink she quickly left the room.
"James!" Yelled Sirius, "What the hell was that? 'Much better, thanks Evans... It won't...' why'd you back down to her like that? She's been a psycho hose beast ever since we got here and you just ..."
"Want to prevent her yelling at me for five seconds." James concluded with a sigh. "Besides, I think she might have got the message last night." he said frowning.
"Yeah Prongs I think you actually scared her." Remus said with a sly grin.
"Maybe she'll shut up now." Sirius said hopefully.
"Let's hope so." Remus said solemnly.
"Hey don't go feeling guilty!" Sirius said stubbornly as he noticed James expression, "If anyone should feel guilty it's her for all that shit she said about you and your family. What you did was sweet and innocent compared to her!"
"Still doesn't make it right." James mumbled incoherently.
Sirius shook his head sadly, looking at Remus in despair. "I think we're losing him."
Remus wiped away a fake tear. "I knew this day would come! Why? Damnit, Why!"
James laughed. "Knock it off guys. I just, didn't mean to scare her so bad is all."
Sirius snickered. "I bet Mooney could scare her even worse tonight, Full moon." He said looking out the window.
"Ooo yes, please James? Let me scare her..."
"No." James said with a laugh.
"Aww." Remus said hanging his head.
"Well don't sulk about it Mooney jeez. I swear you get so wolfish around this time of the month."
"I know I can't help it. Couldn't I just scare her once?"
"No."
"Just a little bit?"
"No!" James said trying not to laugh.
"Damnit, you spoil all my fun." He said in disappointment. "Sirius?"
"I'm afraid I'm with Lupin on this one James, there's nothing I'd love more than to see Lilly Evans crap her pants at the sight of a werewolf in her dormitory." He said snickering.
"So I'm guessing were all heading out to the shrieking shack again tonight?" said James changing the subject. He was eager to spend the whole night with his friends again.
"You better be coming." Mooney said quietly, "I don't want to be cooped up in there all night, I'd quite like to stretch my legs, all four of them if possible."
"Of course we're coming. When have we ever passed up a chance to spend all night on the prowl with you?" Sirius said, as if this was a stupid question. "Right Prongs?"
"Of course, I can't wait." He said with a grin. This was true of course, he loved being in his animagus form, it represented something of freedom to him.
"Good." Remus said sounding relieved. "We'd better get ready to go soon, it's nearing dusk already."
"Good point." James said getting to his feet. "Come on guys, let's get out of here."