Chapter 10
If I Knew You Were Coming…I'd Have Baked a Cake
A migraine within four walls.
That's how Woody would have described Saturday afternoon at Toys R Us. Kids. Grown ups.
And lots of whining and crying.
In the midst of the chaos, Woody heard his name being called. "Woody….Woody Hoyt….what are you doing here?" Lily. She was there with Bug and both of them were on the same mission as Woody was – Joanna Pollack's birthday present.
"Seems like there's a birthday party tomorrow," he joked, while perusing the Barbie collection and wondering which one Joanna didn't have.
"Ugh. Those awful things," Lily replied, gesturing to the fashion dolls. "Gives girls unrealistic expectations of their physical attributes."
"She's five, Lily…not fifteen," Woody answered.
"Still….Joanna should have crayons or paint…clay or …"
"A microscope," Bug joined in, his eyes twinkling. "With slides and everything else."
Lily groaned. "Jordan would kill you…Joanna likes hanging out at the morgue too much for her own good now. Give her a microscope and she might get worse."
Woody chuckled. It sounded like the little girl he delivered was getting more like her mother everyday. "So what do we buy her? I am totally clueless as to what to buy an up-and-coming five year-old. Any suggestions?"
"She likes books," Lily answered.
"So she reads already?"
"Jordan taught her last year….Joanna wanted to learn…"
"Sounds like Jordan has developed the patience of a saint…"
"She has gotten a whole lot better … guess that's what having a kid does for you."
Woody nodded and continued to peruse the Barbie section, despite Lily's condemnation of the doll. The only thing they don't have is Medical Examiner Barbie… he thought.
"I know what Joanna really wants…but I'm not brave enough to buy it," Bug finally said. "Jordan would kill me."
Curiosity peaked, Woody had to ask. "What?"
"An Easy-Bake Oven."
Lily groaned. "No. No way, Bug. We are so not buying Joanna that. You're right….Jordan would kill us. Those things make such a mess and Jordan would end up cleaning it up."
Grinning, Woody looked around the toy department. "And where are these little jewels?"
"Woody – you're not…" Lily began.
"Right over there," Bug said pointing. "And you're a braver man than I am, Hoyt." He slapped Woody on the back.
"Thanks…I'll be right back…." Woody strolled over to the tiny ovens, putting one of them along with several of the baking kits in his cart.
"Woodrow Wilson Hoyt…if you think I'm taking that to Joanna's party for you, you're sadly mistaken. I won't be the object of Jordan's wrath…" Lily called after him.
Looking over his shoulder, Woody smirked at the couple and headed for the check out line. So he'd blow an afternoon at a pre-schooler's birthday party, so what? It's not like he had anything else better to do.
And besides, the look on Jordan's face would be worth it.
If chaos had a name, it would be Chuck E. Cheese.
And if the mouse had any sense, he'd get out of the kids' birthday party business… Woody thought to himself over the din of twenty-five of Joanna's closest friends and their parents, all merged together in the dining room of the children's pizzeria and game room. "How does any sane person put up with this?" he shouted to Bug.
"I don't know. I think your hearing and your sanity goes out the window as soon as you become a parent," Bug shouted back.
"Not to mention your sex life," added Garret. "After Abby was born, I don't think Maggie and I had sex for three years…at least until Abby was always sleeping through the night."
"At least Jordan doesn't have to worry about that," Bug said. Woody raised his eyebrows, a silent entreaty for a love-life update on his once ex-almost something. "She doesn't have one. She doesn't date at all. Joanna is her life," Bug explained, his voice a little softer.
"Ah." Woody imagined that, along with a five year-old, would explain Jordan's current attribute of patience.
"Joanna's getting ready to open her presents," said Bug. "If I were you, I'd duck and run, Hoyt."
"Not a chance. He's staying right here," Lily said, joining the childless knot of friends. "When Jordan comes after him with her scalpel, I want a front row seat."
Woody chuckled nervously and watched as Jordan helped her daughter open the presents. Jordan had seen him when he arrived at the party and the look on her face registered surprise. Woody really couldn't blame her. After three years of just sending Joanna's gift by someone else, he was sure his actual presence at the party was somewhat of a shock. Barbies…books…paints….games….finally Jordan hoisted up Woody's gift to the table and looked on as Joanna stripped away the wrapping paper and bows.
"Mom….an Easy Bake Oven," the little girl squealed with excitement. "I've always wanted one…"
"And I've always said no," Jordan murmured under her breath. "Thank you, Woody." The look she shot the detective across the room was worth more than a thousand words.
"Who gave it to me….who?" Joanna asked.
"Detective Hoyt…he's standing right over there by Bug," her mother answered, nodding to Woody, who gave the child a small wave.
"Thank you!" Joanna ran over and hugged Woody around the legs.
"Ummmm you're welcome…" Woody answered, wondering what was the most tactful way to disengage himself from a five year-old girl.
"I'll bake a cake just for you…"
"You will? That would be great…" Bug didn't tell him an Easy Bake Oven came complete with awkward moments.
"And I'll send it by Mom."
Woody tugged at his collar. "That'll be wonderful, Joanna…."
"And he'll eat every bite. I stay and make sure of it," Jordan said, joining them, her eyes still containing some left over daggers that weren't shot at him before. "And autopsy you afterwards myself."
The oven broke the ice. After five years of avoiding each other at every opportunity, Woody found the iceberg between himself and Jordan first melted a little…then cracked a bit at the time.
Especially when Jordan brought a sloppily frosted Easy-Bake chocolate cake complete with candy sprinkles to his office and watched gleefully while he ate every bite … waving her scalpel back and forth between her index finger and thumb the whole time. The crack definitely widened then.
But if he expected their relationship to revert to the way it was six or seven years ago, he gave no indication of those expectations. And if he had, he would have been sorely disappointed.
The fact was, whatever they had now between them…a working relationship, friendship-lite…whatever it was, couldn't be like it had been because they weren't what they used to be. Despite the fact that in the past, Jordan had accused Woody of not growing up, at some point in time, he got over his Peter Pan syndrome and left Neverland.
Jordan noticed it as once again he began asking for her when she was on call. His shoulders were still just as broad, and he still had one of those breath-taking physiques. And God knows his eyes were still the same heart-breaking blue…
But inside…inside Woody Hoyt was not the man he used to be. He was serious…too serious for Jordan's comfort. He would still smile, but it was a rare occasion when his smile actually reached his eyes.
It was even rarer when she saw his dimples.
When she finally got up enough courage to ask him what had happened, his answer was simple. "I'm thirty-eight now, Jor. Not thirty-three. I've changed. I guess…. I guess I'm a man now."
It was on the tip of her tongue to ask him what had he been back then…but the look in his eyes stopped her. He wasn't her Farm Boy any longer…if he ever had been to begin with. And besides…despite what Pollack had told her years before, Jordan was over her malaria.
And evidently she had never infected Woody. They were once again a great team as they worked together, but the minute it was time to punch out, Jordan went home to Joanna…and Woody went…well, she wasn't sure where Woody went. He never mentioned anything about his life outside of work unless it was the occasional BoSox game he caught with Garret.
It would take another party…this time without a bunch of five year-olds and an Easy Bake Oven … to get the truth out of him.