Chapter Eleven

Jaded

Nigel's birthday. His fortieth birthday to be exact and ample cause for celebration by one and all. The morgue had reserved a space at what used to be the Pogue and planned to party throughout the night. Jordan had asked Max to keep Joanna for the night and she planned to let down her hair and enjoy herself -- a long deserved night out sans child.

Woody would be there. She knew that. She had seen his name on the invitation list. And unlike in the years past, it didn't make her stomach turn inside out.

Hell, she wasn't sure why seeing him had ever brought such a reaction in the first place. She had been pregnant with another man's child…Woody delivered it. In a Norman Rockwell kind of world, the birth of Joanna should have righted all the wrongs.

But Norman Rockwell obviously knew little about her situation. Instead of painting a future of friendship, Jordan had witnessed them both deliberately seeing each other less and less. At first she attributed that to Lu. If Woody and Lu had been trying to work things out, make a go of it and get serious with each other, Jordan was smart enough to realize that she was "the other woman," even if she did nothing to try to interfere with Woody's and Lu's relationship. What Jordan and Woody had in the past was nothing short of combustible in chemistry. Even JD, with all his brass and sass, had been a little afraid of it.

Ever since Joanna's fifth birthday party, the ice around the relationship had melted…until now it was at the point of slush. They worked together, laughed together, and Jordan even did her elevator trick on him again a time or two. The ice was leaving in a spring thaw, but Jordan wasn't sure what was beneath it. Maybe it was time to take a peek. Nigel's party seemed like the perfect excuse to thaw out the rest of the snow and have a look see.

If Woody would cooperate.

Cooperation takes on many forms. While Jordan found that Woody was more than willing to play pool and even dance with her again, he wasn't much of a talker any longer. So Jordan found an ally in a familiar source. A few shots of Tequila and Woody was loosening up considerably, and was much more apt to be cooperative. "One more game with me?" she asked, indicating the pool tables. "Just one more before we have to go?"

"Or they kick us out?" he asked. The crowd had grown into a ruckus several times that evening.

"Yeah." She reached for a cue, but his hand shot out and stopped her.

"I don't want to shoot another game with you, Jordan. You've already won fifty of my hard earned dollars tonight."

"I told you to take your money back."

"No…you won them fair and square. I really need to be going anyway. It's getting late."

"No it's not…come on, Woody. We're having fun. We haven't had fun together in years…"

"I have an early day tomorrow, Jo."

"So do I, but…" her voice trailed off "If you have to go…I understand. I guess Lu's waiting…" Jordan knew Lu hadn't been invited to the party…the female detective's name was no where on the invitation list.

"Lu has nothing to do with it," Woody responded in a sharp tone, while reaching for his coat. "Nothing at all."

Jordan bit back the obvious question on her tongue, instead answering him with silence for a moment. "Can I at least get you another drink before I pour you into a cab and send you home?"

Woody hesitated. "Another beer. But no more Tequila shooters, okay?"

Jordan nodded and guided him to the bar. "Two Guinness," she told the bar tender. She waited until Woody had taken a long pull off his. "This is kinda nice…us just hanging out together again."

"She left me Jordan."

For a second Jordan was confused. "She? She who?"

"Lu. Lu left me."

"I'm sorry, Woody. When did this happen?"

"A couple of years ago."

Breathing in sharply, Jordan felt a pang of conscience. She and Woody had drifted so far apart that Jordan wasn't even aware of Lu's absence. Her comment about Lu this evening must have struck him raw. "I'm….I'm…sorry Woody…do you want to talk about it?"

Woody chuckled…a mirthless sound even to Jordan's semi-drunk ears. "Not really. She just said she couldn't compete with you."

"Me? What was there to compete with me on?"

"Evidently Lu thought that while she may have my attention in bed, you were still in my heart. Said she couldn't compete with a ghost."

"But…there was nothing…I did nothing…."

"I know you did…I mean didn't. I know you didn't do anything to give anyone any ideas that there was anything between us." He ran his fingers through his hair. "It was my fault."

"Your fault?"

Woody nodded and took another pull off his beer. "It's taken me a long time to get over my issues Jordan. A long time. And it was an incredibly painful process, let me assure you. And I have come to one conclusion. I should have never come to Boston, Jordan."

The harshness of his words caught her breath. If he had never come here…then…

"I should have never come to Boston," he repeated, a bitter edge to his voice now. "I should have never worked at this damn police department. Because now that I'm here, I feel like I can't leave…that some vortex is holding me here…captive….and I can't get away. And every time I feel like my life is changing for the better, it gets worse. First you and I, then I got shot…then Lu." He slid off the barstool. "I wish to God I had never set foot in this town…and I wish to God you had never told me that you loved me."

His words were like cold water being thrown in her face. For a moment she stood there in shocked silence as she watched him make his way unsteadily towards the door. She had wanted to find out the truth tonight…what was underneath the ice…but she wasn't so sure she liked what she saw.

A broken heart? No…it was more than that…it was a broken man. A man with too many regrets and an uncertain future. It wasn't until the bell jangled over the door when he left that Jordan came to her senses.

He didn't need to be driving in the state he was in…forget the alcohol… the sheer emotional torture he was in was more than enough to affect him. "Woody…wait," she called out after his retreating figure and ran out the door after him. She caught up with him on the sidewalk. "Woody…"

"What?" His voice was flat and lifeless.

"Come back inside. Let me get you a cab or ask someone to take you home."

"Jordan…"

"You don't need to be driving when you're like this."

"I know…" he leaned back against the wall of the bar. "I hate evenings like this."

"What? When you bare your soul and speak what's on your mind?" She managed to swallow her pain and give him a lop-sided grin.

"No…that the truth ends up biting you in the ass…again. Just when you've think you've dealt with it and are okay."

"I'm sorry." Jordan looked down for a moment. "But I didn't do anything wrong when I told you I loved you. It was what was on my heart. My timing sucked and I admit that. But that doesn't mean I wasn't honest with you at the time."

Woody gave her a jaded look and stuffed his hands in his pockets. "Just…call me a cab, Jordan. I'll see you tomorrow at work."