The Sidekick Strike
Chapter Three
DISCLAIMER: Sure. Sure I own them. I'm also the King of Siam, the guy who played Riff in West Side Story and the inventor of chocolate donuts. Yes, folks, that was indeed sarcasm.
About an hour later, Alfred came down with a tray of milk and cookies for his two young charges. He expected to have to scold them for the twentieth time about no baseball in the Batcave. Instead, he found two miserable teenagers, sitting perfectly still near the Batcomputer.
"May I inquire as to why you are wearing such long faces, young masters?" the butler asked as he set the tray down. He was surprised when not even Wally moved to touch the tray.
"Flash doesn't need me," Wally said in an uncharacteristically dejected voice.
"And Batman doesn't need me, either," added Dick.
"Nonsense!" Alfred insisted.
"This strike is nonsense!" Dick cried out, pounding a fist on the table. "They don't even care that we're not out there catching the Joker with 'em! In fact, I bet they're glad we're not with them. Less baggage to drag along."
Alfred took a moment to study the downhearted teens before him. They truly believed that their senior partners didn't need them? And just that morning, Alfred had heard Bruce and Barry saying how much they missed working with their boys!
"Well, young sirs," Alfred said at last, "it would seem that the only thing to do now is prove to Master Bruce and Master Barry that they do indeed need you."
"Yeah, right."
"We tried that already, and look where it got us!"
"Very well. But you know what they say," the elderly man advised just before making his way back upstairs. "'There is more than one way to skin a cat'."
After a few more moments of moping, Wally ventured, "Maybe the old guy's got a point, Rob. Maybe we can—"
"Oh, come on, let's face it, Wally," Dick interrupted. "We've had it. Robin and Kid Flash won't ever see the light of day again. It's hopeless."
"I guess you're right," said Wally in a shaky voice.
As if on cue, a strange beeping sound began to fill the Batcave. Wally glanced around, puzzled by what he heard, but Dick instantly recognized the noise and felt his heart leap with joy at the sound of it.
"It's the communicator in my utility belt! Batman's calling me!" he exclaimed.
Dick ran off to the changing room to get his costume and the all-important device, but Wally, being the Fastest Boy Alive, beat his friend by quite a large margin. By the time Dick made it to the changing room, Wally had already found the Robin costume and was digging around the belt to find the communicator.
"Is this it?" he asked excitedly, holding up a funny little blue object.
"Yeah! Give it to me!"
"Say please…" Wally taunted with a grin as he kept the communicator just out of Dick's reach. Now that he knew they were needed after all, he was in the mood to pull a few pranks. Dick, however, did not share this view and threatened to tell Bruce exactly who had put the peanut butter in his sock drawer last April Fools' Day unless he got the communicator RIGHT NOW.
"Okay, okay, geez…"
Wally handed the communicator to Dick, who quickly composed himself and said in a completely casual voice, "Yeah, Batman?"
Can't let him think I'm desperate, he thought.
But instead of his mentor's deep voice, Dick's ears were greeted with the sound of maniacal, high-pitched laughter.
Dick and Wally stared at each other with wide eyes.
The Joker!
The two boys were frozen in place as the insane giggling continued. How had the Joker gotten hold of Batman's communicator? The Dark Knight must be in trouble!
"Batman? Aww, Robby, I'm hurt!" the voice on the other end cried out at last. "Don't you recognize an old friend when you hear one?"
"What do you want, Joker?" Dick demanded. He tried to sound as intimidating as Bruce would have, which wasn't easy considering his voice hadn't changed yet. "Where's Batman? What have you done with him, you fiend!"
"And Flash, too!" Wally put in.
Sheesh, even Wally sounds more menacing than I do. Stupid hormones!
"Don't worry, Boy Blunder, they're perfectly safe. For the moment," the Joker told them, suddenly sounding more ominous than both Dick and Wally put together. "I just called to let them say one last good-bye to their side-tracked sidekicks!"
There was a funny noise from the other end before a slightly-dazed voice called tentatively for Kid Flash.
"Flash!" Wally yelled, snatching the communicator from Dick's grasp. "Flash, what happened? Where are you? Are you okay?"
All of a sudden, a resounding crash was heard from the Joker's end of the line. Several frantic shouts followed (was that the name 'Wonder Woman' they heard?), until everything ended in two hard thumping noises that sounded like bodies falling to the floor.
The two boys yelled for their partners, but the only answer they got was more wild laughter from the Joker amid a background of odd mechanical sounds.
"What have you done with them?" Dick practically screamed. Now he really couldn't care less if he sounded desperate or not!
"Looks like you won't get to say good-bye after all!" the Clown Prince of Crime cried jovially. "Oh, but if you really want to say good-bye, then you have until the morning edition comes out! And remember, boys—I'll be watching you!"
(Click)
"Batman? Flash!"
But there was no answer.
"Holy kidnappings, Wally…" Dick said slowly, looking devastated. "What're we gonna do now?"
"Find them! What do you think we're gonna do!" the other boy retorted. But, in spite of the confident response he had given, Wally's face registered panic.
"How?" Dick wanted to know.
The boys were silent for a minute, deep in thought. That was a good question, actually. And both sadly acknowledged that they'd already have an answer to that question if their senior partners were there.
"Well," Wally spoke up at last, "what was it the Joker said just before he hung up? Something about the morning edition?"
"Yeah…" Dick responded thoughtfully. "He said that we have until the morning edition comes out if we want to say good-bye to Batman and Flash… and that he'll be watching us…"
Wally glanced around nervously, as if expecting to see a periscope poking up somewhere.
"Ya know, 'morning edition' sounds sort of like a newspaper," observed Wally, still looking around.
"Wait a minute!"
Dick raced back to the Batcomputer (this time, Wally chose to follow his friend instead of beat the heck out of him) and began plugging in letters and numbers at an incredible rate.
"You have an idea?" asked Wally hopefully.
"Duh," Dick muttered, still intent on his research. Then, "Ha! Got it! Take a look at this."
Wally looked.
"'The Gotham Snoopster'? THAT'S your answer, a stupid nonsense paper?"
"Sure, it makes perfect sense! Like you said, 'morning edition' could be a reference to a newspaper. And he said he'd be 'watching' us. 'Snoop' is a synonym for 'watch', right?" Dick explained.
"And those background noises we heard… could have been printing machines!" Wally concluded. "But Rob, this article says that The Gotham Snoopster went out of business several months ago."
"What better place for a crook to hide out?"
"But if it's out of business, then what were the printing machines doing on?"
"The Joker could be using them for some devious plot!" exclaimed the Boy Wonder, getting more excited by the minute. "Hold on a sec while I print out a map… hmm, 123 Kane Street… gosh, that's all the way on the other side of the city!"
Wally gazed at the article in question. He read a couple of paragraphs, only to realize—with total horror—that their morning editions had been released at 5:00 every day, which meant that they had less than six hours to save their partners and capture the Joker!
But Rob can't travel fast enough to get to this place in time to rescue anybody! At least not on foot, Wally thought. And as puny as he is, I know I can't carry him.
"Wally, get dressed," Dick's commanding voice interrupted his thoughts. "We've got a crook to catch!"
Dick vanished into the changing room, and Wally waited until he came out to get into his own costume. He used his free time to glance around hurriedly, hoping to find the solution to his problem right there in the Batcave. And, surprisingly enough, he did:
The Batmobile!
Me: Yes, Kane Street. :P And dare we ask what Wally's plans are?
Dick: No. And where was your brain when you thought up the name to that newspaper? On vacation?
Me: NO. Jerk... anyway, I did warn you that it may sound a little like the sixties series in spots. Therefore, any and all useless complaints on this subject will be turned over to my assistant. And you don't want that to happen.
(Displays Denny the tribble from Star Trek: The Original Series, who is now bearing all 2700 of his sharp little tribble teeth.)
Dick (rolling his eyes): Tribbles don't have teeth, TAP.
Me: This one does. MUAHAHAHAHA!
Dick: (sigh)