The Sidekick Strike
Chapter Four
DISCLAIMER: I still don't own Batman and Company. I also adapted one of the scenes and took one of the lines in this chapter from Return to the Batcave. (cough) Yeah. Not that I've seen it, but I've read enough to know what I'm talking about. Oh, yeah, and I don't own Return to the Batcave either, although I wish I did. Even a copy of the DVD would be nice...
"Okay, KF," Robin announced, using his own nickname for Kid Flash as he tucked the map into his utility belt. "Time to go. You ready?… Wally? Hey, Wally! Where are you? WALLY!"
"Right here, Wonder Boy!"
Robin was all set to yell at Kid Flash for using that much-hated nickname, but then laughed when he saw that the red-head was sitting in the passenger's seat of the Batmobile.
"Okay, enough fooling around," said Robin at last. "We don't have much time."
"I'm not fooling around," Kid Flash answered. "And unless you think you can walk more than thirty miles by morning with enough time left over to save Flash and Bats, hop in."
The smile faded from Robin's face as he realized that his friend wasn't kidding.
"Look, buster, you know that I can't drive," he insisted. But, in spite of these protestations, Robin found himself slowly walking towards Batman's precious car.
"Hey, I know you're not as fast as I am, but do you think you could pick up the pace just a wee bit?" Kid Flash put in. "I doubt if the Joker's gonna sit around and wait for us to show up to thwart his plans!"
Robin glared, but he knew that there was quite a bit of truth in what Kid Flash was saying. And so, after groaning "Batman is so gonna kill me", he climbed into the car.
"Hey, why do I have to drive?" he whined.
"Because if we end up wrecking the car, Bats will probably get way less mad at you than at me. He's your partner."
"How do I let you talk me into these things?"
"Just start the car. Otherwise, two-sevenths of the Justice League could very well be breakfast cereal by the time we get there."
Robin sighed, once again realizing that his fellow sidekick had a point. And so, he tentatively reached forward and turned the keys in the ignition…
Both teens jumped as the famous Batmobile came to life with a roar, and then quieted down to a steady hum.
"…It doesn't seem so loud from the passenger's side…" Robin observed warily. "And it seems a lot smaller, too…"
"Quit griping and let's go!" Kid Flash shouted impatiently.
Robin stared at the formidable buttons and equipment before him. Then, after turning the steering wheel a little from side to side, he suggested that Kid Flash drive instead.
"Why?"
"Well, I-I don't know, KF, I really think you should do the driving."
"But why?"
"I just think—"
"Just give me one good reason why, Robin! That's all I want, just one good—!"
"BECAUSE I CAN'T REACH THE PEDALS!" Robin shrieked at the top of his lungs. "THERE! ARE YOU HAPPY NOW!"
Kid Flash blinked in surprise, and then turned his head sideways to see under the steering wheel. Sure enough, Robin's elf-shoes were mere millimeters away from the pedals. A short growth spurt would probably be enough to take care of that problem, but they really didn't have time to wait for that to happen.
"Are you sure you can't reach?" asked Kid Flash.
Robin muttered something under his breath and slouched a little lower in the seat. He could now reach the pedals perfectly.
"This isn't very comfortable," complained Batman's sidekick.
Unfortunately, at that very moment, his foot touched the accelerator, and both boys screamed in panic as the Batmobile lurched forward violently. But before they could hit the wall, Robin happily found the brake and slammed his foot down on it as hard as his painful position would allow.
"Holy car sickness," whimpered a very pale Boy Wonder, sitting upright with his arms wrapped around his stomach. "I think I'm gonna throw up…"
"Well, maybe we can adjust the seat a bit," suggested Kid Flash, completely unaffected by the little incident with the gas pedal. He began searching around the dashboard for a button that would do just that.
"Hey, what's this…?" he wondered aloud, his finger headed straight for a big blue button right in the middle.
"No, don't push that—!" Robin started.
Too late. Kid Flash gave the button a jab, and a stream of oil was promptly sprayed right into the Boy Wonder's scrunched-up face. Kid Flash just laughed hysterically and watched as he blindly fumbled for the button that would turn it off.
"Oooh, sorry, I didn't know it was loaded!" howled the red-head, wiping tears of joy from his eyes.
"Ack!" Robin spluttered, wiping his oil-filled eyes with his gloves and then glancing down as the oil dripped onto his bright-red vest. "I told you not to hit that button, you moron!"
"What's your problem, Wonder Boy?" Kid Flash snickered. "The oil goes so well with your mask!"
Robin glowered viciously, and then wiped his dirty gloves all over the face of the giggling boy beside him.
"Yuck…" mumbled Kid Flash.
"Funny, I can't say the same thing about you," Robin commented wryly as he indicated Kid Flash's stained yellow mask.
"Very funny."
"I thought so. Now hurry up and get into the driver's seat. You're taller than I am."
"Yeah, by what? Two inches?"
"Just do it!"
There was much grumbling from both boys as they changed places, fastened their seatbelts, and prayed for the best.
Of course, when you get Dick Grayson and Wally West together in the same room, things have a tendency not to go as planned. Especially when you get one of them behind the wheel of a car, as we just witnessed. But now that they had someone in the driver's seat who could actually reach the pedals and see out the window at the same time, things were about to get much worse.
"Be afraid, Wonder Boy," teased Kid Flash as he gritted his teeth and put the Batmobile into reverse gear.
Robin didn't even have time to answer that before the car went screeching backwards into a table, knocking it to the floor.
"Be very afraid…" continued the teen driver, shifting the car back into forward and sending them crashing into another table. That one went over as well, bringing a very expensive computer and several pieces of glass chemistry equipment with it.
"Wally…" Robin moaned desperately. But before he could say anything else, Kid Flash once again sent them hurtling backwards. This time, they bumped straight into the staircase that led up to the Manor.
"OW!" Robin howled.
"Sorry!" yelled Kid Flash, going into forward gear for the fourth time.
"Wally…" Robin groaned one last time before they shot out of the Batcave and, after knocking the lower branches off of several trees, sped down the road towards Gotham.
Dick: I suppose you think that's amusing, don't you?
Me: Absolutely! And it gets even moreamusing later on! Incidentally, I just made up the 'KF' bit myself. I got lazy and didn't want to type outKid Flash all the time. It sounds kind of clumsy if you use it too much anyway.
Dick (disgusted): THAT figures.
Me: ...Hey, I posted two chapters in one day, and nobody even had the courtesy to review once? Ah, well. Doesn't bug me too much. I mean, there are some people who never get any reviews at all. I guess I should be grateful for the five I've already got.
Dick: Wow! You actually made sense! Cool!
Me: Well, nobody can go uphill all the time. Everybody has setbacks.
Dick: This can't possibly be you. You must be quoting somebody.
Me: Yeah! Me!
Dick: No way. I'm doing research and getting back to you on that...
Me: Why can't you just trust me?
Dick: (rolls around in hysterics)
Me: Sigh...