He Can't Possibly Know…

"Megan Ann Parker." Audrey said as she slammed the package of cigarettes down on the kitchen table. "I cannot even begin to understand why you would use this kind of shit. I thought I raised you better than this. I don't know what it means that you're smoking at the age of 16 and I hope that's all that you're smoking." Audrey said as she paced the kitchen. Megan slumped into her chair crossing her arms in front of her. She'd perfected the angst look. Pout 24/7, dark eyeliner, pin straight hair falling across her eyes and torn dark jeans.

"Do you have anything to say for yourself?" Audrey questioned as Megan gave her a cold stare. "You're grounded for a month. What happened to my little angel?" Audrey sighed as she sat down at the table and placed her head in her hands.

Megan excused herself. Drake did crap like this all the time and never once got caught. Megan knew that it was her fault, leaving a package of cigarettes in the bathroom wasn't all that smart.

She walked upstairs to find Drake leaning against the top.

"I don't listen in when you get in trouble." Megan spat as she gave him a cold stare.

"Liar. You're not nine anymore, maybe Mom's starting to believe that you're a devious human being."

"Shut up."

"Fine but just so you know Megs, I really do care about you."

"Shut up Drake. Don't you have some place to be? A bar or some groupie's house? You spent your teenage years having sex with random girls and drinking until you passed out at Scotties, disobeying Mom and Walter and you're giving me shit for what I do? Don't preach Drake." Megan stated as she walked into her room and slammed the door.

Drake knew she was right, who was he to tell her what she could and couldn't do. He was 24 and still living off his parents. Josh was the one who was off with a career and starting a family. He shrugged it off, he was bored and figured he'd go test out the guitars at Guitar World.

Megan had climbed out her window via the oak tree that was outside her room. It was summer vacation and she knew that she'd find something to do in San Diego and she could always drive the two hours up to L.A. if she really felt like it. Hell she'd taken the flight there by herself before and managed to fend for herself. She wasn't two years old anymore. Even at the age of 9 she could fend for herself. She did join the Camp Fire Kids didn't she? Even if she refused to learn how to orienteer knowing full well she'd always have her cell phone handy. Life wasn't about learning how to make a fire out of dried leaves or be able to pinpoint your exact location with nothing but a topographical map of the region, it was about learning to survive, and she knew what it was like to survive. She'd done it this far hadn't she?

It wasn't that Drake actually cared about her that pissed her off it was the fact that he figured he had to know everything. Then again as she thought about it maybe it was the fact that he cared. Where was he when she needed him the most? When she needed her big brother? Sure Megan never knew that Drake was hurt by him, so how could she expect him to know that she was hurt. She hid it so well all those years. At the age of 6 she learned how to close out everything that he ever did to her, to find that "happy place". And she wondered what he ever could have possibly done to Drake. He'd always wanted a son, never a daughter.

Drake couldn't possibly know what he did. There was no way. He hid it just as well. He was a pedophile; their Father was a pedophile. She wondered if her Mother knew that. She doubted it, unless Drake had told her, but she knew that wasn't true otherwise her mother would have pressed charges.

She shivered at the memories that she tried so hard to suppress. Crawling into Drake's room after he'd molest her using the excuse that she was scared of monsters, it was half true; her own father was a monster. Hiding the bruises after he'd force her down and rip off her clothing like an animal. Making her touch things she never wanted to anyway. She wanted to tell someone all of it. Always too scared to confide in Drake because she never knew what his reaction would be. Always too worried to tell her mother because she knew that the divorce was hard on her in other ways. For the Parker children it was always best to play your emotions close to the vest that way people around you wouldn't get hurt.

Megan walked into the Premiere. Helen greeted her, she loved Megan almost just as much as she loved Drake who stopped in less frequently than he used to considering there was no Josh working there anymore and the whole place had sort of gone down hill, losing competition to the new Mega Theater down the street.

She saw Drake sitting at a booth by himself. She wondered why he wasn't at some bar getting drunk and slowly killing himself as he usually was. She bought a drink for her and him.

"Drake…" She began as she sat down and placed the soda in front of him.

"Hey Megs." He stated as he grabbed the drink. "Mt. Fizz, why do you remember these things?" Drake asked as a long forgotten smile crossed his face.

"Drake, I've been thinking about what you've said." Megan said softly as she lowered her head.

"And?" Drake questioned focused on his little sister.

"And it's about time we told each other what he did. We've both been hurt, we've both kept it bottled up, we've both made the same mistakes, we both play our emotions close because that's what we do Drake. We're Parkers." She said as she felt the tears well up.

"I agree. It's been 19 years since it all started and I still haven't told a single soul. Not even Josh and we shared a room for 4 years. Sure he told me how his mother was an alcoholic and how she'd forget about her own son when Walter left them for 4 years. But I could never tell him that my Father was also an alcoholic."

"What did he do to you?" Megan asked softly not wanting to rush anything.

Drake was silent recalling the days when he'd come home from school to his father drunk. Audrey was always the one working in that household. All their father cared about was his music and "making the big time"; the apple didn't fall far from that tree.

"I vividly remember this one night…" he started. Megan fell silent. "You were a few months old and Mom was working the late shift because Dad was a jerk and never once helped her with anything. I was eight and I knew that my fear of monsters was completely irrational but I was convinced that I could hear things moving in the attic. I had this awful dream that these clown, alien, monster things were attacking us and I woke up screaming. Dad came in pissed because I had woken you up and you were crying. I told him about the monsters and he took off his belt and told me that there were no such things as monsters and hit me with it until I convinced him that I didn't believe in monsters." Drake recalled as he played with his bendy straw.

"You still have that unconditional fear of monsters. You would have rather slept in my room where you ran the risk of being disemboweled than sleep in the attic." Megan said as a faint smile passed her lips.

"Yeah, I guess it's one of those things you don't grow out of."

Both of them were silent as they digested what Drake had just said.

"Is that all he did to you?" Megan finally asked as she broke the silence.

"For the most part. You?" Drake asked as he looked at his sister.

Megan was silent how could she tell her brother that her father would rape her? How could she tell him that when he was off in school and she was home alone with him he would do those kinds of things?

"It's okay Megs." Drake whispered as he placed his hand over his sisters like he used to do so many times before when they were younger.

"I don't feel like talking about it Drake. I just don't. It's been 9 years and I still can't talk about it. I'll just say that if you think about the worst thing that someone can do to a 5 year old girl is what he did to me. Something that you can go to jail for." She cried as tears fell down her face. She felt so guilty for crying in front of her brother. But before she could leave she felt his arms around her as she cried on his shoulder.

He knew what she meant; he'd known it all along. Every single time she'd crawl into his bed at night. Every time she'd flinch when he'd put his arm around her. He'd seen the bruises he'd heard her crying in the middle of the night. He'd heard her screams and the threats of his father when she'd let one escape. Drake knew what he did to her and he kicked himself for never telling anyone, knowing that nothing but pain would come to his sister even if he did tell. Knowing that no one would ever believe him because he knew that their father would brainwash Megan into thinking and saying what ever he pleased.

And it hurt him to think that his sister was in pain for all these years and he only began to pay attention to it now when he should have heeded the warning signs back when all the practical jokes started. She wanted attention that's what she was starved of. She was crying out for help and no one ever threw her a lifeline. No one saved her.

She collapsed in his arms like she had so many times before. He understood her, he was the only one. He understood that she needed to cry. He didn't try to quiet her or anything. He just held her. He just let her cry as he ran his hands through her hair and told her that it was okay now, that it'd been okay for a while.