Hearts in love and denial; Chapter 11: Progressing.
By Gasha Aisu.
Disclaimer: I still do not own Naruto.
It had been three weeks. Three weeks of training under Tsunade. Three long weeks of blood, sweat and tears of frustration. The three were unable to break the wooden logs they hit against. Tsunade had told them that when they were ready, they could destroy those logs and start communicating with their ancestors.
Then the real training would begin.
Frustrated, Tenten hit against the wooden log slightly more reckless then before, and therefore falling out of rhythm. She easily picked up, falling back in step with the other two.
They had improved in the three weeks. They could sense each other more then before, and could use it better then before. They didn't need Tsunade hitting on the ground anymore, for they could do it on their own now. Their hits became harsher as their muscles had improved, and they were better handling the pain and exhaustion.
But they still weren't good enough.
"Kuso!" Sakura hissed as she too showed her frustration. The three increased speed as they got more desperate. Why were they still so weak?
"What a-are we doing wrong?" asked Hinata, more to herself then to the others. Sakura and Tenten just narrowed their eyes and continued to train.
"Do you want me to tell you or do you want to find out yourself?" Tsunade asked them, making the three direct their attention to their sensei. Not waiting for an verbal answer Tsunade continued.
"You must learn to listen, or you would've already known," Tsunade stated slightly annoyed.
The three girls halted, at the same time, turned, exactly at the same time, and looked at Tsunade, each wearing different expressions. They were so alike, yet so different…
"I told you three, your seals are connected to your emotions," Tsunade snapped, disappointed that none of the girls had remembered that, "Which means that beating your logs while suppressing your emotions isn't going to work!"
The three looked at her, silently gazing at their sensei.
Suddenly Sakura turned and stood in front her log. The others turned to look at her silently. Sakura put her hand on the log and slowly let it fall down. She closed her eyes, and slipped into fighting position. It was time to let go. She could do this, she knew. Sakura knew she was emotional and expressed a lot of emotions, yet some were still bottled up inside. Maybe…if she could just release them. Maybe if she just…lost control. It was a scary thought, but she would manage. Sakura wasn't stupid, she knew that of them three she was the one with the least control over their emotions. Hinata might hate herself, but she was taught to hide it ever since she was born. And Tenten…Tenten didn't have the chance to do so, she had always needed to be strong for others. Surely she, Sakura, who had always been sheltered by her team mates could be vulnerable and...still be strong? Sakura's eyes flashed as she thought the same thing over again. She could do this. She finally understood..
"He never notices me, you know?" Sakura said casually as her first punch landed.
His dark eyes didn't look at her, they were focussed on what was before him.
"Every nice gesture is met with a cool look, or cold response," she continues, her voice slightly less casual and more angry.
She had started.
He disinterested eyes as he gazed at the present she made for him.
"Is he even interested in what is around him? Or is he to trapped in his own ego!" Sakura questioned, the frowning Tenten and sad Hinata forgotten. Even the slightly disturbed Tsunade was forgotten.
She couldn't stop now.
Everybody was enjoying themselves, happily celebrating a new spring. She looked up and saw him frowning. When she asked what was wrong, she was told to stay out of his business.
Sakura screamed, it felt good to finally release these emotions. The confusing, mixture of hate and love. She hated and loved him for what he did to her. Tenten and Hinata could do nothing but watch, to entranced to think about doing the same. Tsunade watched as well, slightly frowning and wondering if this was indeed the way to their powers.
"He's always saying he's alone. But can't he see that he doesn't have to?" Sakura wondered, and her kick made a hollow sound.
Sakura watched him stand alone. She was alone as well, waiting for him to approach her. To make them both less lonely.
"I'm always right besides him, why can't he see me?" Sakura yelled frustrated, as her fist hit the wood. She didn't care about her powers anymore, she just needed release. Hinata looked on sadly, knowing how she felt, how painful it was to watch. Tenten frowned and took a step back. Somehow that last sentence unnerved her. Tenten didn't want to hear it, it came to close to her own truth.
Sasuke looked at the water of the river. He didn't see her. He never did.
"But he sees Naruto, of course he does. He is strong while I…" Sakura continued bitterly, drifting of in the end. Sakura stopped for a minute, looking at her trembling fist. The clearing was silent as the others watched.
Sakura talked to him, and was silenced as she saw his eyes drifting of. His dark eyes saw Naruto as he trained. Despise was in them, but at least Naruto managed to get some emotion out of him. Sasuke didn't even notice when she stopped talking and eventually walked away.
"No, I'm just Sakura, I'm just a team mate. I need to be protected, because of the team. I'm weak, I'm always behind, I'm not important," Sakura continued on, and they saw her control slipping as the emotions became wilder. The emotions who slowly consumed her, who were always eating at her, and making her smile less bright. The emotions she trapped because she thought them unimportant.
His dark eyes, so beautiful but never trained on her, unless in annoyance.
"What is there to love?" Sakura hissed, and they weren't sure if she was talking about herself or Sasuke.
His mouth, almost perfect, but never smiling. Smirking, yes, but never smiling. Could she ever make him smile?
"What is there to love?" Sakura asked again, a little louder. She felt the feeling she had been missing, slowly consume her. Spring was with her, like it was when her seal had been released. This was how it should be. Tsunade smirked as she saw the area of the seal lighten.
His disapproving frown as he had to protect her, again.
"I'll be strong, I'll make sure I'm worthy of being loved. And I'll see the best in Sasuke-kun. The bastard who had stolen my heart, but unwilling to fill the void with his," Sakura said in a low tone, as her punches and kicks increased in speed.
His pained eyes when he thought of his past.
"I won't be weak any more,"
His determent expression when he trained while she lay exhausted.
"I'll show that bastard what's there to see," Sakura said, and she again increased speed. The light became brighter, and a wind suddenly picked up.
She watched his back as always. It would never change would it? She would always be the weak one.
"Please…" Sakura said softly. The others watched, eyes slightly narrowed because of the bright light. The wind picked up, tucking at their clothes. Only Sakura didn't seem to notice, not her hair before her eyes, nor the clothes which hindered her movement.
Would she ever be the strong one? Would she ever protect the village, instead of being the one protected. Would she ever change?
"Please!" Sakura called out, ramming her fist into the tree, hardly noticing the pain of her split knuckles.
Their backs as they walked side by side. Unconsciously ashamed of her, but not of each other.
"Make me stronger!" Sakura called out almost desperate, yet commanding as well. They only now noticed her tears. The wind howled along with her.
"Ksijuharu!" Sakura called, and small pedals of the Sakura tree suddenly drifted into the clearing.
Sasuke dark eyes…
"Meet me Ksijuharu, I'm ready. Teach me to be strong!" Sakura called out, more tears flying as she hit the tree in a desperate way. As if she wanted it to hurt as much as she did.
The image of Sasuke was cut with a staff. The smirking face of a man with bright green eyes filled the image.
"Ksijuharu-sama!" Sakura called him, respect in her voice. She could feel his wisdom, his power. Tsunade grabbed Hinata and Tenten, jumping back to a safe distance, safe from the force she could not see. Having a feeling of what was coming. Tsunade ignored their questioning looks, and kept staring at her other student, who was surrounded by the cherry blossom's pedals.
Ksijuharu smirked. "You are ready, Sakura…now, smash that tree so we can get started,"
"Hai, Ksijuharu-sama," Sakura said softly. Her eyes were distant as she watched her hand go through the log, her hand which was surrounded by chakra, her chakra. Her power.
Several pieces of the log flew through the air. Tenten ducked to avoid a flying piece, and Tsunade quickly directed them to lie on the ground. When they emerged, Sakura was standing, the two other wooden logs behind her. Her own log nowhere to be seen. Tenten shivered as she felt the cool breeze of spring, knowing that it was Sakura she felt. Hinata wide eyes stared at Sakura, who's chakra was around her in a way she never seen before.
It was now that Tenten and Hinata realised how powerful they could be.
Tsunade walked over to Sakura and stopped right in front of her. Sakura's bright green eyes raised to meet those of Tsunade.
"It was an honour to train you," Tsunade said quietly, "But I'll let the rest up to Ksijuharu. From now on, I'm your hokage, not your sensei,"
Sakura nodded, and bowed deeply.
"Thank you for training me, Tsunade…sama,"
When she raised again, she looked directly into Hinata's milky white eyes. They were more determent then she ever seen.
"We'll catch up Sakura-chan. So we can train together again," The Hyuuga said, and Sakura nodded with a smile.
Sakura looked at Tenten and met her eyes. They said nothing, just gazing at each other.
"You will prove Sasuke what a dork he is," Tenten finally said, humour in her voice, "Until then, make us proud to know you,"
Sakura grinned and winked.
"Let's get started then," Ksijuharu's voice drifted to her, "Then I can show myself to you, and we can get started on your training,"
With a nod to her friends and hokage, Sakura jumped and disappeared. Her real training had begun.
.o.0.
Disappointed Tenten put the lights on as Hinata walked past her to make some tea. It had become a habit. Normally Tenten would put on the lights, Sakura lock the door and Hinata make the tea. The tea was just as necessary as everything else since the three found that they needed to relax before falling asleep, otherwise their muscles would tighten and they would have very sore muscles the other day. Tenten stumbled ahead and collapsed on the couch. Both her as Hinata had failed to do the same as Sakura. The thing Tsunade said haunted their minds.
Sakura is an emotional girl, it's only logical that she would be the first one. You two are always holding back without realising it.
Hinata was used to hold back, and she knew it. Hinata knew she could do, be, so much more. Yet she couldn't find the courage to lose herself, to give herself fully. Even in the face of death, even with her fight with Neji. She just couldn't.
Tenten had no idea what Tsunade was talking about. Her? Locking her emotions? Why? Sure, she had, had only male friends before Sakura and Hinata. Sure she needed to toughen up. But she could release them, she could be that vulnerable, right?
Suddenly, the words of Tsunade made much more sense…
The door opened and both Tenten as Hinata looked up to see a very beaten, bruised and tired Sakura. Tenten smirked and grabbed the arm of her tired friend, helping her towards the couch. Sakura was silent as she seated herself. Hinata placed a cup of tea before her the minute she sat down. Tenten took her own cup handed by Hinata and took a sip as Hinata went to grab her own. The silence wore on until the three sat down and had taken a few sips.
"So, what did you do?" Tenten finally broke the silence, looking at Sakura from the corner of her eye. Hinata placed her cup on the small table before her.
"He made me train for three hours so that he could see my fighting style," Sakura said tiredly and leaned back into the comfy cushions of their couch, "He told me that he would enter my body and did it," Tenten raised an eyebrow.
"Well that was a nice warning," she said dryly, making Sakura smile tiredly.
"How did it feel?" Hinata asked. Sakura was silent for a moment.
"As if…Well, like he's inside of you. Every time I made a mistake he would correct me with a gentle touch, I would feel his arm moving so that my arm moved into the right position," Sakura explained, "we started really slow at first,"
Sakura still wasn't used to feeling him in her. It was creepy and she felt uncomfortable. Swaying slightly, she stood unsure of what to do. Well? What are you waiting for?
"Gah!" she screamed, and immediately blushed. Were is the touch girl who demanded I help her? Ksijuaharu's amused voice asked.
"Shut up," Sakura muttered, annoyed. I will the moment you'll start training seriously. You don't seem to realise that I'm going to make you a powerful ninja. Just start out slowly…
Sakura bit her bottom lip before complying. She punched, but her arm wasn't in the best position. Gentle she felt his arm move, and saw her own following hers. It was as if he was standing against her and she was following his movements.
Good, now follow me…
"And we trained like that for a long time," Sakura said and yawned, "And then he made me meditate,"
"Meditation is the best way of getting yourself calm and concentrated. Tomorrow we'll start out like this," Ksijuharu explained, and Sakura nodded. She was sitting before him, her bright green eyes focussed on him. She could see Ksijuharu, but also the things behind him. He was bald, but had the same bright green eyes. Still…It was weird talking to a guy she could only hear in her head. And she wasn't even sure if other people could see him…
"I'm glad that we could finally meet," Ksijuharu said softly, completely the opposite to the stern, yet humorous way he talked to her earlier, "I know I'll be proud of you, my own flesh and blood,"
Sakura smiled and bowed slightly.
"Thank you for training me, Ksijuharu. I can't wait to start again," Sakura said and Ksijuharu grinned.
"Just make sure you can stand first,"
Sakura sighed and stared at the ceiling since she rested her head on the back of the couch.
"I'm glad Tsunade prepared me for it. I wouldn't be able to handle this if she hadn't," Sakura confessed. Hinata swallowed but Tenten only nodded.
"B-but it d-didn't s-sound so bad…" Hinata stuttered and looked away. She still stuttered around them. Tenten gazed at her silently before turning back to Sakura when she answered.
"Well I guess I told it kinda lightly," Sakura said, her tongue sticking out a little, "It was hard. The training exercise were harder then what Tsunade made me do. And he didn't allow me a break, and we continued longer," She sighed.
"And he says he's going easy on me since we just started…" Sakura added, looking at the ceiling with a hopeless expression on her face.
Tenten smirked. Hinata just shook her head.
"Oh, come on Hinata-chan," Tenten said cheerfully, nudging the Hyuuga with her elbow, "You know you enjoy the harsh training as much as Sakura and I do,"
Hinata smiled, Sakura giggled.
"Sometimes I wonder what's wrong with us," Sakura added jokingly. Tenten raised an eyebrow.
"You wonder? I'm way past that point" Tenten asked dryly, making Hinata giggle and Sakura grin.
"Come on, we all got a hard day training before us," Sakura said and winced because of her sore muscles as she stood. The other two followed her example.
Sakura was glad that the other two didn't act much different towards her.
Hinata was thankful for her two friends to comfort her when she needed it.
Tenten just wanted to sleep, and wake up early so that she couldn't disappoint the other two.
They went to bed and fell asleep quickly, exhausted for what they had been through.
(A/N: I wanted to end it here, but since I haven't updated for so long. I'll ad something extra)
Hinata awoke in the middle of the night. Of what, she did not know. Her milky white eyes were bright as sleep had left her completely. She tossed for a while before she couldn't take it any more. Sitting up with a slight frown, she looked around for anything that might awoken her.
She…she wanted to see the moon.
She didn't know why, but she wanted to see it. Hinata knew it would be full, bright and beautiful in it's silver glow. It would be silver tonight, not that yellow colour, but silver…
Like her eyes.
Opening her curtains she expected to see the moon. She froze on her spot, her heartbeat and breathing increased and her eyes widened.
"N-Naruto-kun," Hinata stuttered.
And indeed there was her secret love. On his back, gazing at the stars with one leg carelessly dangling from the side. A light smile was on his face.
Hinata never saw him so happy.
Go. A familiar voice urged her, Go to him. 'I-I can't' Hinata thought desperately, 'I-'
You can do it! The voice continued to urge her, Come on! I know you can!
Swallowing Hinata opened her window. She stepped so that she sat crouched on the window' still. Did she really…? Looking up, she saw the full silver moon shine upon her.
She jumped.
Her chakra made sure that she made it to the other building, and concentrating the chakra on her feet she ran up. She hoped that Naruto didn't mind… Finally she made it to the flat roof. He was only a slight distance away. She would only have to walk a few more steps. She swallowed and gathered her courage.
"Naruto-kun," Hinata said softly. The boy tensed and looked up. The minute he saw her, he relaxed and grinned.
"Hey Hinata-chan!" he said in his normal cheerful voice. Hinata liked his voice. It was warm, friendly and full of energy. Something welled up and before she knew it she opened her mouth.
"I like your v-voice, N-Naruto-kun,"
Horrified she could only stare at him with wide eyes. Did she really say that? Now he would really think she was weird. Naruto only blinked surprised. She liked his eyes as well. They held the same as his voice, yet so much more…
"Aaah…Thank you, I guess," Naruto replied awkwardly, grinning with a slight blush. Hinata felt the tears well up. She wanted to run…but….
Well, since you already embarrassed yourself, the voice said again, lightly teasing as if this wasn't the end of the world to Hinata, You can say you admire him as well. Then you can get the hell out of here… Hinata wanted to refuse, but the voice did have a point. Could she really make it worse? And…why was she hearing voices? Slightly trembling now, she did anything to avoid those blue eyes of the fox-like boy.
"I-I…I just wanted to say…" Hinata started, but was to shy to continue. Naruto tilted his head to the side.
"Huh?" He asked, curious. Hinata winced slightly and took a deep breath. She had promised herself to become stronger, and she did. Now was the time to prove that she was mentally stronger as well. She looked into his bright blue eyes, almost silver in the moonlight.
"I-I admire y-you,"
There, she said it. And she even looked into his eyes. You go girl! The voice cheered. Right, it didn't matter that her palms were sweaty, and her face felt like it was as red as a tomato. Naruto stared at her speechless, making her even more uncomfortable.
"I-I'll just leave n-now," Hinata mumbled, and quickly turned to get as far away as possible to go be ashamed somewhere. Her feet were running as she saw the end of the rooftop approaching.
"Wait! Hinata-chan!" Naruto called and a warm hand closed over her wrist. Shocked she turned and met blue eyes. He was blushing slightly as he slowly released her wrist. By habit her own hands raised in front of her. Naruto cleared his throat awkwardly, and she adverted her eyes.
"I…uhh," Naruto started and drifted off. Hinata looked up and when he noticed she did he but on his big grin again, his eyes closing as he did so.
"Thanks Hinata-chan!" Naruto said brightly, before he saddened and looked away for a moment, "I- I needed that,"
A small smile formed on her lips. Naruto wasn't acting as he normally was, but that was okay. He was talking to her!
"Ano sa, Ano sa, wanna watch the stars or something?" he suddenly asked, grinning as he did so. She nodded and agreed with a small "un". He grinned once again, and Hinata was struck by how innocent he looked. Butterflies fluttered in her tummy as she followed him and sat down besides him.
"I always come here to watch the stars," Naruto told her, dangling his feet over the edge. Hinata looked from him to the night's sky again.
"I-I like t-the moon," she told him. Naruto looked at her confused before he smiled again.
"It…sooths you," Naruto told her, and when she looked at him confused he continued, "The moon…it's the same colour like your eyes,"
Hinata blushed, again, and lowered her head. A smile was on her lips, and she suddenly understood why she had come out tonight.
"Ne, Hinata-chan?" Naruto suddenly asked. Once again she looked up, listening to him as she always did.
"What are you guys doing? Why hasn't Sakura talked to us? What's going on?"
Naruto fired each question at her so quickly, she figured it was bothering him for a long time. She swallowed and looked away again, but now turning her head completely while she had only turned her eyes away before.
"I-I'm sorry, N-Naruto-kun. I-I can't answer that, gomen," And with that said she stood and took a few steps before turning back to him with a slight bow.
"I-I have to go now," she stuttered and turned to leave again.
"Hinata-chan!" he called, but she was faster.
"Hinata-chan!" she jumped and hid herself in the darkness of her room.
The last thing she saw of him was him standing on the rooftop, alone once again, before she closed the curtains.
To be continued.
Well, that was it. I apologise for the late update (again) But I'm in a really, really important year. And I really have to work, which I usually don't do…
So please forgive me?
Until next time,
Gasha Aisu.