The Sidekick Strike
Chapter Five
DISCLAIMER: No, they're not mine, and apparently, the nickname 'KF' isn't mine either. Thank you to the reviewer who pointed that out to me. :) Ah, well. It was fun owning it while it lasted.
Although it was really only about half an hour after they left the Cave, it seemed like an eternity before Kid Flash finally—literally—slammed on the brakes.
"We're here!" he announced happily as he hopped out of the car. "Gee, that was fun. We oughtta do it again sometime."
"Fun?" Robin repeated, ignorant of how ridiculous he looked with the dried oil on his face and costume, the leaves and small branches sticking out of his hair, and the slightly greenish tint of his face. "You think that was FUN?"
Robin continued to rant, getting louder and louder, as he clambered out of the car: "Holy whiplash, KF! Temporarily ignoring the part when you crashed through that window and burst in on those people on the couch who were…" Letting his voice trail off as he shuddered at the memory, Robin went on, louder still, "Do you realize that we hit seven parked cars, knocked down about a dozen trees, ran through three red lights, all but destroyed that poor lady's begonias, and rammed straight into a squad car!"
"We got away from him, didn't we?"
"AAARRRGH!" Robin howled, pulling his longish hair in frustration. "Whatever the heck could have possessed ME to let YOU drive the Batmobile is a mystery to me!"
"I think the words you are looking for are 'necessity' and 'good judgment'. Just look!" Kid Flash insisted, pointing at the neat and shiny black Batmobile. "Not a scratch on her!"
Looking up to the heavens, Robin put his hands together and whimpered quietly, "Kill me now, just kill me now… please please please just kill me now…"
"Hey, don't worry, Rob," Kid Flash reassured his distraught friend by placing an arm around his shoulders. "I'll be sure to tell Batsy that it was my fault."
"Like the way you told Flash that we were going on strike?"
"Exactly."
"Figures."
"Hey," started Kid Flash, getting visibly annoyed, "I did this for you, you little so-and-so. I could have gotten here much quicker and much easier without you, remember? But since you're my best friend, I risked my life to get us both here at the same time so that we could investigate together!"
"I don't care. You're still way out of my will, KF, and when I say 'way out', I MEAN 'way out'," Robin said stubbornly. He picked a couple of leaves out of his newly-spiked hair.
"Fine," grumbled Kid Flash. "So what do we do now?"
"Well, usually Batman and I would climb up the side of the building and drop in through an open window, or a skylight or something. But since he's the one with all the ropes and climbing equipment, I guess we'd better come up with Plan B."
Kid Flash went up to the back door of what used to be the headquarters of the newspaper Gotham Snoopster and tugged on the knob a little.
"Locked," he announced unnecessarily.
"Oh, REALLY," grumped Robin, who was still in a lousy mood.
"Well don't just stand there. Help."
With a martyred sigh, Robin began to go around to all the windows, looking through each one for a sign of his senior partner before tugging on the locks. None of them gave an inch, and there didn't appear to be anyone on the ground floor at the moment, although all of the printing machines were going like crazy. He instantly recognized the sound of them as the same one that had been in the background during the Joker's threatening call.
I wonder what they're printing… Robin thought, puzzled. And so, to satisfy his curiosity, the Boy Wonder pulled a pair of Bat-shaped binoculars out his utility belt and adjusted them until he could make out the headline on the stack of newspaper at the base of one machine.
When he saw what was being printed, he was too shocked to even come up with a noun for his 'Holy'. And when that happens, you know it's gotta be bad.
"Find something, Robin?" Kid Flash whispered, suddenly appearing next to his fellow hero.
"Geez! Don't do that!" Robin hissed back as he jumped, startled.
"Well, look who woke up on the wrong side of the Batpole this morning!"
"Oh, shut up and look."
Robin shoved his binoculars at Flash's sidekick, and then peered through the window with Kid Flash as he used the binoculars to read the papers' headline:
JUSTICE LEAGUE TEAMS WITH JOKER
IN WORLDWIDE CRIME SPREE
"Whoa… holy Benedict Arnold…"
"That's my line, buster. Go get your own catchphrase."
"Well, you didn't say it."
"Well, how are we gonna get in there?"
The two pint-sized crime fighters took a look around. The door was locked, the windows were closed tight, and they had no way of getting to the second or third floors. Well, okay, they could have crashed through one of the windows, but that would alert the Joker of their presence, and perhaps put their senior partners in unnecessary danger.
"Maybe we oughtta call Commissioner Gordon for help…" Robin suggested, albeit reluctantly. He had really wanted to prove that he and Kid Flash could work perfectly well on their own, but this was an emergency. Maybe they did need a little help.
Kid Flash, however, felt differently.
"After what we did to that squad car? No way," he said.
"What WE did!" Robin squealed indignantly. "Who was the one who—"
"Hey!"
Robin sighed as Kid Flash literally sped off towards the far side of the wall they were standing against. He followed at a much slower rate, and found that his friend had spotted a little hole in the wall.
"Nice work!"
"Does this mean I'm back in your will?"
"No."
"Darn…"
After tucking the binoculars back in his utility belt, Robin got down on his hands and knees to examine the hole a little closer.
"Looks just big enough for us to get through," he decided, and then proceeded to demonstrate what he meant by wiggling through the hole. He felt the top of the hole brush against his back as he passed through, but was soon on the inside of the darkened building.
"C'mon, KF. Coast is clear."
"Right," grunted Kid Flash as he began to worm his way through the hole.
"What's taking so long? Hurry up!" Robin whispered after a series of grunts from Kid Flash brought no new results.
"I can't! I think I'm stuck! Help!" Kid Flash hissed, sounding alarmed.
"Now how can a skinny guy like you get stuck anywhere? Look at me! I got through without a problem!" Robin gloated as he suddenly felt the need for revenge.
"That's because you're even skinnier than I am!" Kid Flash shot back, getting even more irritated than before. "And I've been meaning to ask you if anyone's told you how much you look like a girl! Because you sure as heck are just as skinny as one!"
Flexing his bicep, Robin shot back, "Do girls have arms like this?"
"They do if they get 'em fixed! And your voice hasn't even changed yet!"
Robin's face instantly clouded over. That did it! That was the last straw!
"Good-bye, KF!" Robin growled.
Kid Flash watched with wide eyes as Robin stormed away from him and went to examine the printing machines by himself.
"Stop! Come back!" Kid Flash whimpered from the hole. "Okay, I take it back. Now help me outta here, huh?"
Robin sighed and nodded his ascent. Grabbing his friend by the arms, he placed one booted foot on the wall next to Kid Flash for support. Then he began to pull with all his might.
"YOW! Geez, what are you trying to do, pull my arms out of the sockets?"
"You'd deserve it if I did!"
Robin relaxed for a moment, letting his arms hang down limply. He considered asking Kid Flash whether he had eaten his rock collection before going out on this case, but decided to be nice for once and keep pulling.
"Just… a little… more…" grumbled Kid Flash. He could feel himself slowly being forced all the way through the small hole. Slowly… slowly… slow—
WHAP!
Well, he was out of the hole, alright. Unfortunately, Robin was unprepared for the moment when he popped out, and both boys landed in a heap on the concrete floor with a loud thunk.
"Ouch…" Kid Flash mumbled as his knee hit the concrete.
"Get OFF of me, bonehead!" Robin shot back. Maybe Babs was right. Maybe Wally was a bonehead.
In spite of the insult, Kid Flash got up and then offered his hand to help Robin up, too.
"Well," Robin said when he was standing, "one good thing came of that."
"What?"
"Now I know why they call you Wall-y, huh? Hehe…"
"Listen, you little—"
Wally's insult was cut off when the lights were suddenly flicked on, bathing the entire room in a bright light.
"Hide!"
Kid Flash was already well-hidden behind one of the enormous printing machines by the time Robin flipped over the machine to join him.
The advantages of being the Fastest Boy Alive, he thought, somewhat smugly.
Kid Flash had never noticed it before: while Robin was very quick by normal standards, he was awfully slow compared with most other superheroes and villains. Oh, there was no doubt that the Boy Wonder could hold his own against the likes of the Riddler and the Joker, but what if fate someday pitted him against, say, Felix Faust, or someone else with major superpowers? Could he survive?
Suddenly, the smug grin had completely vanished from his face, and a very odd feeling of protectiveness washed over him. He didn't know what he'd do if some crook ever did in the Boy Wonder—heck, he didn't even want to think about that possibility. They were best friends, after all! He'd rather die than have anything happen to Robin, in spite of the way they teased each other. And while it must be said that Robin was quite good for a thirteen-year-old, he would be no match against someone like—
"Green Lantern!"
Robin's almost inaudible exclamation finally got Kid Flash away from his gloomy thoughts. He was about to ask what that comment was supposed to mean when he looked up and saw for himself:
The Joker had come downstairs to investigate the racket...
...And he had brought Green Lantern with him!
The boys stared, stunned, as both Joker and Green Lantern glanced around the large room. What did this mean? Green Lantern was now one of the Joker's henchmen? It wasn't possible!
Or had the newspapers been telling the truth after all?
Me: Felix Faust DOES have superpowers right? On occasion, right? I don't know. I really don't know much, if you want to be honest. I just have a thing for the various DC superheroes, especially Dick Grayson/Robin. Now HIM I could tell you about...
Dick: Yeah, well, listen to this. Over in the Star Trek: TOS-universe, they've decided that you used the nickname 'KF' and then told the world it was yours when it wasn't. Which means you stole it.
Me: Hey, it was an accident! I said so in the disclaimer!
Dick: Tough. I'm taking you over there to stand trial for theft.
Me: You can't do that!
Dick: Hey, you DON'T OWN ME, remember? You said so! I can do whatever I want!
Me: ARRRGH!
(TAP is dragged out of the room, but Denny the Tribble stays behind to do reviewer replies.)
Reviewer Replies
graymouse-Humor stories are always fun (for Panamint), although Wally and Dick do make quite a pair, don't they? And if there's one thing TAP knows about, it's being short! Haha!
fanficlover-That is Panamint's favorite chapter, too! Glad you're enjoying this!
Robin Knight-I've said it before and I'll say it again: Wally and Dick do make quite a pair, don't they? Yeah, those two are always fun to be around. We got your message, too. Panamint would have updated this morning, but life got in the way. Don't worry: she doesn't consider you a pain in the neck. :)
SarahC4321-Thanks so very much for the compliment (and for the info on 'KF', haha)! And believe me, TAP is very proud! She's also wondering what happened to her cookie. ;-)
Zarz-Here's the update! Now let's pray that Wally doesn't intend to do anymore driving, shall we?