Hearts in love and denial chapter 14: Of the edge.
By Gasha Aisu.
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.
Last time in Hilad: "It's alright Tenten," Neji said calmly, "You will find the power,"
At that Tenten tensed. How much did he know? She loosened her hold and shot backwards, staring at him.
"How much do you know?" she asked calmly, although her voice slightly trembled. Neji narrowed his eyes at her.
0.0.
Both Sakura as Hinata gasped at the same time, making Sasuke's eyebrow raise and Naruto blink confused.
"The bastard!" Sakura seethed, and Hinata nodded with a sight frown. At this, Naruto's eyes widened even more.
"Well what else did you expect me to-" but his defence fell on deaf ears.
"I don't know what he did," Sakura said on a low tone, interrupting and ignoring Naruto, "But he's a bastard," Hinata made a small noise in agreement.
"We should go back, to be there for her when she comes back," Hinata said softly, and with a nod from Sakura the two girls left, leaving the two boys in silence.
"What did I do?" Naruto finally asked confused.
0.0.
Tenten stared at him, taking in his narrowed eyes and stiff posture. She should've known. She should've known that this wasn't going to last, that in the end, she would be alone as she always had been. Slowly she released him completely, for her hands had not released his shirt before, even though she distanced herself from him, and shuffled backwards. He let her, which hurt her for some reason.
"You talk in your sleep," Neji stated. Tenten narrowed her eyes.
"And I bet you took full advantage of that, didn't you?" she spat defensively, clenching her hands into fists. He couldn't know, he mustn't know, she was ordered to keep it secret. No…
Neji raised his eyebrow and crossed his arms, sitting back on his heels.
"I tried to wake you, but you wouldn't. I couldn't help overhearing, half the street could," he said icily. Tenten felt a pang of hurt but she ignored it and only tensed in response. She noticed that her breathing had quickened but she was unable to slow it, nor her racing heart.
"What did you hear?" Tenten asked in a low tone. Neji simply stared t her, his expression hard and unfeeling. It was the side she usually dealt with, his softer side was obviously pushed away. Tenten could hardly believe that she had cried in his arms only a few minutes ago, feeling more safe then she obviously should have.
"Well?" she asked strongly when he didn't answer. Neji's jaw tightened for a moment before he seemed to realise that he was still sitting on her bed because he sat up and stood before her. Tenten felt oddly tiny and she quickly followed. She would need to concentrate when she argued with him, so the less distractions the better. She crossed her arms and tried to pin him down with her stare. Neji straightened his back, as if to tell her that he wasn't afraid of her.
"You feel like you're weak and that Sakura and Hinata for some reason are leaving you behind," His gaze shifted from her to the window to her right, "And you seem to think I'm leaving you as well,"
Tenten avoided his eyes when they turned back to her. So he hadn't heard much. She remembered her dream, she hadn't said anything in it about the seals. He was probably thinking about power in it's whole, not knowing that there was power sleeping in her. Still, she had taken to much of a risk. She needed to leave now. And the further she could keep Neji, the better, or so it seemed. Swallowing she inwardly steeled herself for a fight, for she would have to make one to keep him away until she could tell him what was going on.
"You had no right to pry into my dreams," Tenten said evenly and snorted before she continued, "You were taking advantage of the fact that I was sleeping,"
Neji's eyes widened slightly, which she only saw because she knew him, before they narrowed. There, she had attacked him and now he would attack back in defence.
"It shouldn't have been possible at all, what if I had been an enemy? You sleep to deep," Neji responded, his voice detached. Tenten cringed. She knew him well.
And it stung.
"I happen to feel safe when you're around," she snapped back, "But apparently I can't even trust my own team mate, my friend!"
Neji blinked and frowned slightly.
"Tenten.." he said, but she gave him no chance to continue. She had started this, now she had to end it.
"Say no more, Neji," she said in a flat voice, "I know when I'm not welcome anymore,"
This time his frown was obvious, and there was annoyance in his eyes.
"You're overreacting and you know it," Neji stated. Tenten's eyes flashed and she almost bit her lip before she remembered that nothing escaped Neji. So instead she glared at him and silently moved to his window. She needed to get away now, while she was still ahead of the game. But a hand on her wrist stopped her. She turned back to stare in his unreadable white eyes.
"You're not this easily angered," He stated softly, "You're picking a fight and I want to know why,"
For a moment she just stared at him, wondering what to do now. Then she pulled her wrist free and turned back to the window, opening it before she faced him again.
"You know too much already," Tenten said softly, smiling sadly at him. She hesitated before she reached out and put a hand on his cheek. His hand came up and caught hers, returning the affectionate gesture. Tenten just stared in his eyes for a moment before she continued.
"Just…wait until I can tell you, okay?" she said softly, gently. Neji's expression hardened and his hand tightened for a moment before his hold loosened and he slowly nodded. Tenten smiled again. Suddenly she had a urge to kiss his cheek and she wondered where it came from. Instead she gave him another smile and slowly let her hand slip from his grasp before she turned to the window.
It is time.
Tenten stiffened before she froze, listening. That voice…where had that voice come from? Frowning she took in the area around her, searching.
"Tenten?" Neji asked, he sounded confused.
So he hadn't heard. But then… a small smile appeared in her face and she turned around to face Neji again.
"Everything is going to be alright Neji," She told him, even though she didn't know why. Neji frowned at her but awarded her with a stiff nod. He stepped back and she knew that it was time for her to go.
To go and face her fears.
She turned and jumped out of the window, never looking back and seeing Neji follow her with his eyes. Never seeing him hesitating before shutting the window.
o.0.o.
Tenten halted on a roof top and closed her eyes. She let the wind play with her hair and clothes, forgetting once again that she was only in her sleeping clothes. She needed to find her calm centre again. Tenten wasn't a emotional girl, and being overwhelmed as she had been this night she needed a moment to return to being herself. Neji had been as kind as he could, and she knew he was there for her. So where both Hinata as Sakura. But Tenten knew she needed to do this on her own. And somehow she knew she needed face her fears before she could go on. She knew that it where her fears who were keeping her back.
Tenten wasn't afraid of death, Tenten wasn't afraid of rejection like Sakura, Tenten wasn't afraid of having to kill, like Hinata had been, Tenten wasn't afraid of heights or anything else as simple as that.
Fear was a powerful emotion, and it had been what had been stopping her, at least part of it. It had been what had stopped all three of them. But Sakura and Hinata had faced them and defeated them. It was now Tenten's turn. It was what her nightmares had been telling her, it had been what Tsunade had implied. Fear, a powerful emotion, one who rules a being and conquers a mind. When you let it at least.
Tenten opened her eyes, her brown eyes returned to the calm balanced way they had been before.
There where two things Tenten was afraid of. Too strong emotions which made her vulnerable. She had faced that fear. She had let Neji get close to her when she was at her worst, and she allowed him to hold her when they overwhelmed her. She knew now that emotions could leave you vulnerable, but also could make you strong. Neji had shown her that, even though he probably hadn't meant to. It was time to face her second, and worst fear.
Nervous but determent she took off again.
0.o.0.
Hinata suddenly stopped when she and Sakura were less then a block away from their home. Sakura stopped as well, knowing what was coming but giving the girl time to speak her mind.
"Do you feel it, Sakura-chan?" Hinata asked quietly, twisting around to stare in the direction she knew Tenten was, even though she couldn't see her. Sakura nodded, knowing that Hinata could see her even though her face was turned away.
"Tenten is going to do something foolish," Hinata told her even though she didn't need to, "We need to stop her," Sakura bit her bottom lip and looked away.
"It was foolish of me to attack that wooden log like I did,"
"Sakura-chan," Hinata said quietly, her voice trembling because she understood.
"And it was foolish of you to stay behind and vulnerable like you did,"
"But Sakura-"
"She needs to do this on her own,"
Sakura's face was turned away when Hinata turned back to her. Hinata looked at her for a moment before slowly stepping forward.
"H-how can you just…just.."
Sakura shrugged and smiled slightly.
"The same way you and Tenten stayed out of my way when I hit that log like I did. The same way Tenten and I slowed our pace so that we would arrive when the battle was over, and not when you were still fighting," Sakura explained, her face still turned away and hidden behind pink strands of hair. Hinata slowly walked onwards and paused when she was level with Sakura.
"Because we need to,"
Sakura nodded, her pink hair dancing as she still refused to lift her face.
"Because Tenten has to do this on her own,"
Sakura didn't reply to the statement, but she lifted her head and blinked her eyes dry. It was hard to leave a friend on her own for a second time, knowing that she could die. But if she didn't get the power, it was better that she did, Sakura understood that now. Ksijuharu had explained that to her.
Flashback:
"Sakura come and sit, you have earned your break," Ksijuharu said quietly. Sakura ungracefully sat down, not hiding her exhaustion for there was no need. It was slightly annoying to have a ghost inside your body. Ksijuharu slowly floated out of her, ignoring her shiver for he was used to it.
"How do you feel girl?" he asked quietly. Sakura raised her head to smile at the white being before her.
"Exhausted," she stated earning a chuckle of her grand father. Suddenly he turned serious, and tilted his head to the side to look at her. Sakura, recognising the look, lifted her tired body up and shifted backwards until she was resting against a tree. Then she looked back at her grand father and waited for him to speak.
"Sakura-chan.." he said slowly, "Do you feel different then before?"
Sakura blinked at Ksijuharu, now used to his appearance and immediately responded.
"Of course I do"
Ksijuharu nodded and sat down in front of her, Indian style, his eyes focussed on her. For a moment Ksijuharu was silent before softly asking "How?"
Sakura frowned at the tone of Ksijuharu and shifted as she thought over her answer.
"Well obviously I feel stronger…"
Ksijuharu nodded.
"Wiser…I've learned a lot,"
Ksijuhara smiled at that, and gestured for her to continue.
Sakura thought for a moment and then slowly said "Almost complete…as if…I need one last thing before I'm finally…well complete"
Ksijuhara actually beamed at her and laughed. "I knew my grandchild wasn't an idiot!"
Sakura smiled at the compliment. Suddenly Ksijuharu leaned forward, his eyes sparkling although it was hard to see it, and looked almost mischievous as he asked "Want to know why?"
At Sakura's nod Ksijuharu leaned back and looked at her for a moment before speaking.
"The seal acts as an barrier from your powers, you know that. As long as the seal is not broken, the barrier will exits. It means that you're cut of from not only your power, but your destiny as well. You'll never be able to give it your all, and you will always feel that part that's missing, the part that's hidden and out of your reach. Unconsciously you will miss it, and one day…one day you finally realise what that nagging feeling is. Then, you'll try to fill the void. Yes, my child, many have met their downfall because of that. Gambling, affaires, dangerous missions, nothing works. Even when one meets their soul mates, their other half, they still feel that there is something missing. Some have turned insane."
Sakura could only stare at Ksijuharu in mild shock, not knowing what to say. Ksijuharu smiles and patted her knee.
"Now, now, time is precious let's not waste it shall we?"
Sakura groaned as she was forced to train again…
End flashback.
"We can only hope, Hinata. Only hope," Sakura sadly said, turning to walk back to their house again. Hinata made a soft sound, but did walk along, even if somewhat hesitant.
o.0.o.
Tenten stared down at what was below her. That power, that force, that anger…it was what killed her parents. Taking a small step closer to the edge, Tenten's brown eyes clouded as she stared down at the water of the river. Her mother had loved water, her father had hated it, Tenten had always disliked it, but it had been mother's day and they had gone to the river. This river.
Tenten clenched her hands as she stared down on it. It had taken her mother, it had taken her father, it had almost taken her. Tenten disliked the river, greatly disliked that river…
Tenten slowly released her breath in an shuddering sigh. Right, she was here now. Now what? How was she supposed to face this fear? Should she…sleep beside it? Listening to the mighty roar of the fast travelling water? Or should she…jump in it.
Immediately Tenten shivered, just by the thought of it. That would be suicide, plain suicide. She almost died the last time she fell in it, her parents did die in it. It would be stupid, irrational, and just plain dumb. Things Tenten didn't thought she was. Right. That couldn't be it.
Unconsciously Tenten took a step back, away from the raw power. This wasn't fair, Sakura had, had her hint by Tsunade training them. Hinata had been forced to kill by others. Why did Tenten have to do this on her own? She was always on her own, it wasn't fair. Feeling like a small child, Tenten couldn't resist backing away even more. She would always be like this, incomplete and on her own, unless she jumped. Tenten knew that, but she couldn't. She couldn't just jump to her death like that. Sure, she could jump into fights, but then it came down on your own instincts and power, you had some control then. If she jumped…she would be overwhelmed by that river. It was to wild to walk on it with chakra, it was to powerful to swim. Tenten felt tears welling up when she realised she couldn't do this.
Stop being so dramatic.
Tenten blinked. What? Confused she looked around, but no one was there. Only she, alone in the early morning, still clad in her nightwear.
You're not an dramatic girl Tenten, so just do it.
Frowning Tenten scanned the area around her once again. Alright, either some ninja had hidden himself very well, or she was hearing voices.
You know you have to.
Tenten's frown deepened. Without thinking she opened her mouth, "You want me to commit suicide, don't you?"
No, I want you to jump. You know there is no other way.
Tenten couldn't help but snort, feeling foolish for replying to the voice, yet unable to stay silent. "What's the difference? If I jump, I'll die,"
You can't be sure of that. And even if you do, it's better then being incomplete.
This was ridiculous. There had to be some other explanation for this…there had to be. Yet Tenten found herself stepping back to the edge, her toes curling over it as she stared down at the water beneath her. Better then incomplete…
Suddenly Tenten was pushed.
to be continued...
I'm not cruell, I'm just...me. Sorry about the long update, but I had a lot of test lately...so I had to study.
Untill next time,
Gasha Aisu.