Disclaimer: Chapter 1 as always I tell ya
Well, here I am again it seems. Saturday once more over here. Chapter 7 is what you will find below, and I have to tell you all that it's the longest chapter so far. Almost 5000words, 4888 words to be more exact. But we all get the point. I hope it will not be to tiredsome or boring, I remember spending quite sometime with it, and as I wrote time went by and the chapter grew. Reviews are most appreciated as always, and can tell you all that the story will take its start shortly, as previously stated, I do not like to rush things. And I really do hope you don't mind the way I take things. Please do enjoy Chapter 7 of Once More and remember to review
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Chapter
7 - Always Like This
Villagers came up to the group to congratulate Yuna several times, while thanking her for saving Spira once again, and to greet her fellow hero with a warm welcome. In rare moments, Yuna overheard the other villagers sometimes talk about seeing Tidus being carried unconscious back to the village by Yuna and her friends. She cringed every time the other one responded in a worried tone 'Maybe he's sick or something?' She felt her worry increase, but she would not let such nonsense break her. Tidus was not sick, nor was he getting sick, she kept telling herself inwardly. Every time she kept telling herself that silently, she would cast a glance at Tidus beside her when no one was watching.
In the beginning she noticed that he was full of life and energy and had returned to the conversation with the others with a smile on her face, knowing that he was fine. However, thinking that he may have been fine, didn't stop her from casting a glance over at him once in a while. His smile was somewhat faltering; she assumed it was at the loss of interest in the conversation, but as time went on he stopped talking as often and his smile was disappearing completely, being replaced with an expression she could not completely read.
In her worried state, she cursed herself for being too overprotective and worried. If she kept this up she could very well lose Tidus, and not for him being a dream this time, but for her always being worried and concerned. She would get old too fast if she kept this up. She casted this off as to Tidus probably being tired or something, as the time was certainly getting late and people had been interrupting her continuously to say their good nights before heading over to their homes.
The rest of the group sat quietly around the burning bonfire and listened to its' sparks. It was somewhat soothing and a perfect way to end a night that none of them would forget anytime soon. Spira was once again safe, The Eternal Calm would continue thanks to Lady Yuna once more. People wanted to savour this moment in their minds before heading to bed, knowing full well that in the village of Besaid was where their saviour would be spending her night quietly in a peaceful soft bed.
Rikku sat leaning forward towards the fire, her elbows pushed down on her thighs as her head tiredly rested on her hands. In all their growing tiredness, she was the first one to notice Tidus standing himself up with a stretch.
"Where are you going?" she asked, suppressing a yawn.
The glance he cast at her when he heard her question was somewhat doubtful, if not sickened.
"Just taking a stroll around the village, stretch my legs and all, you know?" He responded, faking a smile.
As he went to take his walk, not even having to have walked a few steps, he felt someone press up to his arm, taking a hold of it before turning him around to face her Sapphire and Emerald eyes.
Yuna had mulled over if she should ask him or not, she had earlier told herself to stop worrying so much. But she couldn't help herself, as he was her whole world now. She wanted to be sure.
"Are you okay?" Her slight trembling voice asked. If it had trembled out of worry or out of the coldness that she felt by being away from the fire, she couldn't really tell. She thought of it to be a little bit out of both.
The look in her eyes crushed him; he always seemed to make her worry. He hated himself for it; he hated himself for always causing that beautiful face of hers to always having to carry such a sad and concerned look every time he was nearby. He wondered if it had been right of him to come back if this was how life with her was going to be like. He loved the fact that she cared and worried, but he hated the fact that he was the one causing her heart to carry such saddened feelings. He always wanted her to smile, and not spend any minute of any single day needing to carry the expression she carried now. Her question was slightly difficult to answer. If she meant okay, as in okay in their relationship, then he would tell her that okay was not enough to explain how good he felt in it all, but that wasn't probably what she was searching for, at least her eyes didn't say so.
She was wondering if he, as a person felt okay. He would be lying if he said that he had never felt better, because in fact, he had felt much better than this on many other occasions. Even when they fought Seymour and he ended up with cuts and bruises he had felt better than this, but he couldn't just go admitting to this beautiful young woman in front of him that he felt like every part of him would just fall apart at any moment in exhaustion. He had never felt this tired before, or weak for that matter. Things had gone so good and everything had been fun for him up until a few hours earlier, when he felt the insides of him slightly complaining. He had only shoved it off as a momentary feeling, and nothing that he would ever feel again. How wrong he had been, it had only got worse and now he felt that he could barely stand, he had only stood up to try and get away from them before breaking down there, causing a ruckus and worrying them all, especially Yuna. Hadn't she already worried for him enough? No, he wouldn't put her through something like that again. He would go off to some place, let out whatever pain he felt. And hopefully he would regain strength to return a short while later with enough energy to convince them all that he was fine and that it was time for him to head for bed, but now, he now stood with Yuna by his side, still wearing that same tired concerned expression on her face, as she patiently awaited his answer. He would have to say a tiny white lie here for her, he thought. He hated lying, even tiny white lies, but it was required here. He would protect her from everything in this world, even her love for him he would protect by not letting her see him like this. Every other way would work for her to see him, but not like this.
"I'm fine, Yuna." He smiled. "I just need to take a walk, that's all. Now head back to the others, I'll be right back."
"But what about fiends?" She hesitantly asked.
Fiends did have a thing for appearing during the night when everyone else was safely tucked under their blankets in a deep sleep.
"Don't worry, I'll be fine. I've been around here before, remember?" He smirked.
Damn, he had to get out of there quick, he thought, before it was too late. At this point, not even fiends scared him more than seeing Yuna's terrified face when, whatever was coming, hit him. She loved him and he loved her, simply put like that. A terrified face whenever something went wrong with one another would come to each of them. He saw Yuna looking down at her waist; her right hand slowly went down to the hilt where one of her guns was safely tucked. She slowly took it out and handed him it before turning up with a shy smile.
"Take this with you, just in case, to protect yourself." She said quietly.
She had much more preferred to follow him, but she sensed that it wouldn't be such a good idea, so she offered him her gun as protection. If she couldn't be there to protect him, then she at least hoped that one of the weapons that had helped her through so much would help him if needed.
It took a while before Tidus willingly took a hold of the weapon she offered, and with a quick kiss to her soft cheek he went off with grateful, 'thank you.' She only watched him go, worry in her eyes, her heart, and her soul. She would just have to believe and hope, that he would be fine. After all, with him gone right after she had got him back would indeed break her, inside and out. Life just wasn't worth it without him, she concluded, before heading back to the others that still sat by the fire.
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"Where could they be dammit?" Nooj roared throughout Youth Leagues Headquarters, in his office.
He was beyond worried, he was now raging with a loss of words and hope.
He deeply cared for his soldiers' safety and if Aiko and Laq had in any ways had got injured he would spend the next few months cursing and hating himself. However, if the two of them was just out around Spira fooling around with their pay checks, Yevon forbid them ever coming back. Only then, he would truly injure them himself. It had almost gone three days since he had sent Laq out to get Aiko and head to Guadosalam. Normally, they would've been back the very same day at night, but they were now over two days late, heading to a third one. Nooj could only worry at this.
He kept wondering where they were, what was going on, what they had found in Guadosalam, and if they were all right.
"I will give them a few more hours." He spoke to himself, calming his frail nerves. "Just a few more hours."
"Talking to yourself again are you, Nooj?" Baralai's calm, smiling voice asked.
Nooj looked up to see his former rival and Yevon-believer, as Baralai let himself in.
"Very funny, Baralai." Nooj said back, as he yet again looked down at the small document Laq had handed him two days earlier, when the distressed signal from Guadosalam had been received.
After a while of silence, Nooj finally looked up to meet Baralai's curious and quiet face and said, "I actually had a reason for it this time."
Baralai didn't know if he should've taken this as a joke or a moment of seriousness, but as he knew Nooj, he was always more the serious type. Nooj had always been the serious one in their team four years ago, as they were set on a mission to go inside The Den Of Woe to get accepted into the Crimson Squad. That was probably why they had quickly made him leader. Nooj had always been the serious leader, with that in mind, Baralai threw away the laughing matter and went to ask his friend what was bothering him.
"Well, what's wrong then?"
"It seems that we received a distressed message from Guadosalam. It didn't say much, only that something was malfunctioning and something about someone escaping something there." Nooj started, as he read through the document in front of him.
"I sent Laq and Aiko out to check everything out there, before deciding if sending out a squad was necessary or not."
"Is that so?" Baralai curiously muttered while pondering over the matter himself.
It did seem strange. He wondered since when the Guado's ever had problem with malfunctions and escape?
"It does seem strange, I must agree. What could possibly be malfunctioning there and who would want to escape what? They barely have anything there besides that plaza of Leblanc's and shops around." Baralai muttered taking a seat in front of Nooj.
"Indeed, but what I last heard of Leblanc she was on her way to Macalania. So I guess she had no idea of what's going on there, otherwise she would've send a message to me herself."
"Macalania?"
"I said this to Gippal earlier, and I will say it again. Don't ask me, Leblanc lives in a world of her own." Nooj said with a shake of his head.
"I see" Baralai chuckled. "What's bothering you then? Did Laq and Aiko return with bad news?"
"I only wish they could've done that, but the thing is that they haven't returned at all. It's been two days now, almost three."
"Are you serious? A trip to Guadosalam and back can't possibly take that long, maybe a day and a half. But almost three?" Baralai said surprised.
He could now sense Nooj's worry and stress. A walk to Guadosalam only required a walk leading to Djose, a turn into the Moonflow, from there a Shopuff ride over the ocean to the other side, and take the small path leading right into the heart of Guadosalam. A day's time it would take forth and back if fiends encounter were included.
"I'm afraid and I can't say that I'm not worried. Something must have got in their way, or went terribly wrong." Nooj stated in frustration.
"If you're that worried, why don't you send out a squad to see what happened to them?" Baralai asked in confusion. Surely he had sent out some people to look around.
"There's no one in at this moment. They're all out helping out in other situations or sphere-hunting." Nooj explained.
"I see, we share the same problem then. The only ones left in Bevelle are the priest-apprentices." Baralai let out, and then follow with a sigh. "And as you may know, they're not combat-trained in any way."
"Yeah, I know. What I don't know is what I'm to do?"
"Maybe we should check it up ourselves?" Baralai suggested. "It's not like I have to be around Bevelle for a while. I rather avoid Bevelle for some time." He said, as he remembered once again how Jai had tried convincing him on his way out earlier that day. The face Baralai had on, told Nooj enough.
"I won't ask you about it just yet then." Nooj smiled. Soon his smile faltered and his serious expression returned. "But I might think that your idea is in need. I will leave here shortly. If you want to tag along it's up to you if you can manage to time up with my schedule."
"Of course, I can't see why we can't leave right this moment." Baralai stood up, all ready to go.
"I see." Nooj smirked. "Wait just a while as I get to inform Nadia in to take over for me here during my absence."
"Of course." Baralai smiled knowingly.
Whatever awaited them in Guadosalam, and whatever might've happened to Nooj's men, they would soon discover. Whatever it was, adventure or not, Baralai somehow looked forward to what awaited them beyond the ocean that divided the Moonflow camp and Guadosalam. He only wished that Gippal and Paine were with them, only then could he relive the team spirit they all shared four years previous.
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Walking through the endless path around Besaid Village had never been such a pain before, in Tidus' mind, as it was this time. Never had it seemed endless and tiresome before for him, but then again, he had never felt this way before either and supposedly that it was because of his condition that everything seemed endless and painful.
He wasn't quite sure how long it had been since he left Yuna and the others by the fire to take his walk around. He supposed it had been around twenty to thirty minutes ago, and he cursed himself for taking so long on a road that only had taken him fifteen minutes to go through, whenever he had taken it as a morning stroll in Besaid during the time they fought Sin. Yuna and the others probably had noticed his long absence through their sleepy state, but he hoped they all were to deep into their sleepy thoughts and dreams to notice.
The reason that he had taken this walk was because of in any way possible not to worry them, especially Yuna, but then again, whom was he kidding? He clearly understood that they would be worried. Clearly whatever had happened to him earlier by the beach made them all worry, even Yuna had become so affected by it that she clearly avoided the subject. He wondered; did this have something to do with it as well?
Connection or not, it hurt. It hurt to be that weak, to be in so much pain, but most of all, it hurt to be in need of hiding it, to lie about it, to not know what was wrong, to be divided in a confusing state, and pondering the question if he should worry or not. Yeah, it hurt all right.
Tiredly walking in a sloppy way turned out to be bad news, as Tidus stumbled over his feet and hit the ground square on. He groaned a sarcastic "Perfect." as he carefully pulled himself into a sitting position and looked around. Finding what he needed, he dragged himself slowly to the nearby tree and leaned his back on it, while stretching his tired legs out. There he sat, tiredly trying to steady his breathing into a normal pace, as it was bothersome having to gasp after air after few seconds. Damn, was he ever tired and weak, he thought.
"What's going on?" he silently asked, as he somewhat calmed his breathing.
He sat there, the question swimming around head until he no longer could bare it. His thoughts stopped, as he mentally screamed out inside his head in agony. Flashes of forgotten moments went through his mind one by one, as he tried to comprehend them as it all flooded back to him.
"Welcome back, Tidus" a woman had smilingly greeted shaking his hand warmly.
"Thank you" Tidus smiled back.
"Welcome back!" the echoing voice of the tender boy of the age of 10 greeted with a grin, at the hero's return. "We've missed you!" He stated, making Tidus' heartache with warmness and joy.
"I've missed you all too. It's good to be back, you know!" Tidus smiled, ruffling the kids hair around, in a brotherly way before hearing yet another greeting.
"Welcome home, kid." a middle-aged man had said, graciously taking Tidus' young form in a manly hug. Shocked by it Tidus only nervously laughed a "Thanks."
Tidus remembered the long hours of greetings and welcomes from when he came back by the beach's shore. How had he forgotten the joy everyone had brought to him at that moment?
He felt the water splash around him as the huge ship landed, nearly running him over, in what seemed to be unintentionally. He turned around with a sudden life-saving reaction and quickly turned again to eye the ship. A sudden smile came to his face, and soon enough he saw the beauty be had been longing to hold, jump down in a graceful way and swiftly drop her feet into the water.
He saw her sprint towards him, with love and happiness, in her eyes and her expression showed nothing of longing. Soon enough she had thrown herself into his arms and he held onto her tightly. Never wanting to let go, he feared that he would truly lose this moment if he'd let anything go wrong.
He soon felt her back away a few inches, as they stared into one another's eyes.
She nervously asked what he too was wondering.
"Are you real?"
He pondered the question, as he tried to come up with the right answer. He truthfully didn't know, but he felt like it.
"I think so." He answered.
It might've sounded a bit weird thinking that he was real, but in his situation, knowing of his true existence and its' end earlier. He really didn't know what else to say.
Her eyes scanned him and her face never gave away the shade of happiness even though worry was trying to cover it all up. Softly he felt her lay her hands against his chest, feeling him.
This time around, she did not pass through him as she had the last time they had been in each other's presence. That painful memory of two years ago had haunted her every day to this very moment, and it was a pain she hoped to never relieve, as she felt her hands on his solid chest. He wasn't transparent; he felt it too and he couldn't stop himself from asking her.
"Do I pass?"
She eyed him, those beautiful eyes hadn't changed one bit, her style had changed, her outfit was defiantly not the one he remembered her wearing during the defeat of Sin. Her hair was cut in layers, and behind her she had saved up a long strands of hair that hanged gracefully behind her, but her eyes remained, those Blue & Green Bi-coloured eyes looked at him, right through him. He couldn't do much but gaze at them as he waited for her long-awaited answer.
"Mhm." She had quietly hushed out under her breath in a small nod. She then tilted her head sideways and smiled in approval. "You're back."
Those words cut through his every limb, as he heard the words he had wanted to hear for so long. The words of being back somewhere, somewhere he belonged. His face turned into a heartfelt one, as he took in a deep breath before breathing out.
"I am back. I'm home." He had said, with overwhelming happiness.
He took her small form into his warm embrace at this moment and held onto her lovingly. He felt her gentle small hands creep around his back and held onto him as well. He then felt her warm breath on his chest, as she silently spoke so only the two of them heard.
"Welcome home."
Those were words of joy, he held her tighter. He never wanted to let her go now that he had found her again. She was his everything, and he would never ever take her or their time for granted now that he had been given a second chance in a life he had in fact never really had. He thanked everyone and everything for this gift, for this moment. He thanked everyone and everything, for her.
Tidus sighed and felt tears threaten his eyes, as he remembered the tearful reunion he had with Yuna. Such a moment in time to be lost and only remembered by Yuna tore him. The pain he felt now wasn't enough to punish him for not remembering such an important moment, as his reunion with her. He felt sick for not remembering.
"You didn't respond to anything in minutes...are you okay?" Her worried voice had asked. She was so beautiful, such a worried expression should not have to belong on her face, he had thought.
He felt weak, tired, and sick. More closely, he felt dead, but he loved her; she had to know. He would take that worried face away from her beauty.
"I'm fine, really." He said convincingly.
"Okay, if you say so." He heard her saying, if she bought the lie or not he couldn't tell. He was too tired to notice.
"Yeah" He found himself saying with a nod.
Hatred for himself was raging inside him; he hated to lie. A white lie, as he seemed it to be was still a lie in the end and he hated to lie to her. He didn't want to worry her, never in his lifetime would he want her to carry such expressions when it came to him. He felt tired. Loss of sleep, he thought, but how could he be tired? He had been sleeping for two years in the Farplane. Or had he? He couldn't remember. All he could remember and see was her face and he smiled.
He had to let her know. "Yuna." He felt himself whisper. "Before I disappeared that time on the ship." It pained him to speak of that moment. Memories of that time came flooding back to him and he saw that it came back to her in the same painful way as well.
"I wanted to say the same words to you, but I couldn't." He said weakly, his voice wretched with pain. Whatever he had planned on hiding from her; was not far beyond his reach, as it was clear for the world to see, that he felt awful. Her eyes were full of concern and he cursed himself quietly.
"Tidus, what's wrong?" Her angelic voice asked concerned.
The most beautiful voice he could ever wish to hear. He would not answer this question, he did not know.
"I figured that, if I said it, that it would've been more painful." He said between tired gasps.
Damn it all. Damn whatever it was making him feel like this, especially during a moment like this.
This was supposed to be a happy moment between them, not a surprised and painful one. Damn it all.
He felt Yuna's hand forcefully grasp him, as she shook him, panic evident, as she tried to get him to answer her question.
"Tidus! Please, tell me what's wrong! What's going on?" He harboured an excessive amount of pain and hatred inside himself. How could he make her feel like this? Even though thinking of this, he still pressed on the more important matter. She had to know in case there was no tomorrow.
"I'm so tired, Yuna. I-I want to say it now... I have to." He said.
He seriously had to get it all out. Her worried face plagued him and all he felt was pity for her, having to see him in such a disgraceful state.
"I love you."
There, it had come out into the open world. He had expressed his inner feelings that he needed her to know.
"Tell me, please! Tidus! What's wrong? Tidus? Tidus? Tidus?"
That was the last he had heard her yell, before darkness consumed him. How he welcomed it.
"Damn!" He screamed out for everyone to hear, as he remembered.
That was the most painful memory to remember of what he had forgotten. He was such an idiot, to lose such a precious moment. How did Yuna feel about this? He could only imagine the pain she felt.
He had left her thinking she was the only one to remember such a key scene in their lives. The sickness was getting to him and he yelled again at the painful weakness. He felt his eyelids become heavier from where he sat, staring out into the woods of Besaid. He had been gone for almost an hour now; he assumed Yuna and the others had noticed his absence by now and with his screams echoing throughout the night, he would soon have company, friend or foe. It would be up to fate to decide.
His hand that had held onto Yuna's weapon all this time, slowly lost its' grip, as he felt his breathing slow down to the point that he didn't find himself breathing at all. This was his destiny after all; he thought, forever to be cursed in a life of never ending pain and misery. Yuna was the only light in it all and it seemed that he could not even have her, as he knew, he was already having a hard enough time even being conscious around her.
The gun completely dropped to the ground with a thud, as he sat still in that position. His breathing so shallow, that it wasn't noticeable. His eyes shutting closed and his mind enclosed in darkness. It would always be like this; twilight between light and darkness for him and all he could do was give in, into the darkness of it all, as it finally took him over as his eyelids completely shut closed.