June,2026
"Hey Otabek, I hear your graduation is soon" read a text from my friend Victor, we met during my freshman year of high school, and his senior year. Since then we've been really close but during days like this, he's a reminder. So I decided to not answer him for now, I informed his roommate Chris that Vic's invitation to my graduation would be in the mail soon. So I know he'll be there but... As I finish college and begin to step my feet into the world I can't help but wonder, if he had lived to see me today, would he be proud of me? Would he have been in my class or would he have skipped college, knowing him he'd still be stubbornly refusing to pick ballet back up? As the first tear drew down my cheek I realized I was thinking about him again, it's been nearly 7… wait no, 8 years since he died. I guess there's a chance you don't know who, "he" is. His name was Yuri Plisetsky barely a month after I met him he took his life. I can still see his face right before jumping, it haunts my dreams even now. I'm heading home after graduation I'm heading back to my hometown. I should visit him when I do. It's been a while. As I cleared my drawers I continued packing up the room I lived in for four years. I found an old video camera with the initials Y.P. written in faded sharpie and a letter with a broken seal at the bottom of the seam that was carefully torn open and sealed back closed with tape. Trevor's last message to Yuri, A message he never read. I wonder if Trevor was angry when he saw Yuri never read it. Assuming there is an afterlife I mean. I wonder if they talked things through?
"Beka!" A voice yelled pulling me from my trance "Are you moping over that blonde guy again! Come on, you're graduating! Be happy for yourself for once!"
As I turned around I saw Sasha my younger sister, next year she starts senior year, how the years fly by
"I'm sorry your right.."
"You always get this way, your 16th birthday, 18th, high school graduation, and your 21st! Everything that you should be celebrating you spend moping, I understand you cared about him but you only knew him for a month. You can't spend your life lamenting him!"
"You're right.. You always are but.."
"Yea I know, and I don't mean to be harsh but it's been so long, and I'm starting to worry about you and your goblin face."
"Thanks, Sasha.."
"No more moping! Come on! Mom is waiting for us, you're spending the weekend with us, You can pack later! Mom should have your motorbike's trailer hooked up to our car by now!" Sasha said as she pulled me along
"I'm coming, I'm coming.."
Hours passed and soon we made it to the Pinewell County line and I held my breath as we crossed the bridge into the Small town of Prixia…
"How does it feel to be home for the first time in 4 years Otabek?" My mother asked
"Don't be so dramatic I've visited since i started school"
"That may be true but you never stay longer than a day.. It was worrying thinking about you driving alone at night on a bike, you know."
"I know mom but I always wear my high vis vest, It's perfectly safe."
"I know but… still…"
"Hey, Mom.."
"Yes, Beka?"
" Would it be ok if you drop me and My bike off and I meet you at home? I want to check in on some friends first."
"Liar.." Sasha muttered under her breath. I chose to ignore her, luckily mom didn't hear that
"Of course, I'll let you out on Main street.. But don't be too long the sun is already setting,"
I waved my mother goodbye after I unloaded my bike and continued down Main street. As I drove I spotted a flower shop on the corner. Has that always been there? I decided to stop in to buy a gift. I settled on a bouquet of white carnations, baby's breath, and forget-me-nots before continuing on my way. Soon I had made it to my destination and I quietly made my way through the paths. On the ground were petals fallen from flowers left in memory by other visitors and as I walked I thought back to the day I first meet Yuri I had seen him from afar a lot as a child but this was different we stood face to face and we spoke
"Beka!" My older sister called as I looked up from my book at her
"What is it?" I ask
"I'm sorry to do this but I lost track of time and I'm so busy packing things up for the move, can I get you to go to the Ballet school and tell the kid I'm tutoring I can't make it." Alina said as she taped boxes closed
"What why can't you do that yourself!"
"I just told you it's cause I don't have time, look I'll buy you any book you want the next time we visit the bookstore if you do this one favor for me!"
"Ok fine."
"Who are you, where's Alina," he asked with a slight glare at me as I looked at him, Alina didn't tell me her student was my classmate
"Wait a second I know you. You're that quiet kid in my class. The one always reading." Yuri uninterested while continued as he stretched "Why are you here?" he asked bluntly
"Yes… about that.. It's my sister.."
"Say… are all the books you read any good?"
"I mean I wouldn't read them otherwise-"
"I interrupted you, what about your sister?" he was still seeming uninterested
"My sister Alina.. She can't make it today." as I concluded my thought Yuri stopped what he was doing and looked at me like I had kicked his puppy.
"What? But.. " he said his entire mood changed
"She says she's really sorry."
"Hey.. is it true she's moving.."
"Yea we are moving this weekend."
"I'm thought so… I've been preparing a secret routine I wanted to show her.. But this is my last class with her… so now I'll never get the chance.." Yuri said glumly. I was perplexed. I had never seen this side of him. In class, he was so confident and outspoken. I weirdly looked up to him and I don't even know why.
"I know I'm not Alina.. But.. if it's all the same I'll watch." I said before I realized what I was saying
"Oh, I know! You can record it for her!" Yuri said rushing to his bag in the corner of the room and pulling out a video camera. "You can use this. And show it to her before you move then you can return it at school before you move!"
Before I knew it I was sitting on the dance rooms floor holding the camera
"You ready!" Yuri asked from the center of the floor "Remember! Start the video before you start the music!"
I nodded before pressing play on the camera and following suit on the radio. I couldn't believe my eyes as I watched. Yuri was known in our class for being harsh and abrasive but as I watched him dance I was reminded of the swans that swam in the river and the leaves in the fall as they gracefully fell through the sky. I couldn't describe the feelings in me as I watched, could it be what others called love, no it couldn't be I'm 6. And Yuri is a guy. As the final notes waned I was left in awe so much that almost forgot to stop the video as he finished
"So… what did you think?"
"I… I've never seen anything so beautiful…"
"I know I'm pretty great ." Yuri boasted before softening"... I hope Alina enjoys it.."
"I'm sure she will!"
"Say.. kid.. Do you have any dreams?" Yuri asked
I didn't know how to answer as Yuri stared at me expectantly before shrugging
"You don't huh, that ok you have time, you'll figure it out. My dream is to be a great Ballerina."
"I think you've already achieved that."
"You clearly don't know anything about ballet." Yuri scoffed in disbelief
"Yea.." I admitted
"The truth is… Today is my final lesson at this school, not just with Alina.."
"What why?"
"Can't afford them anymore.. There goes my dream I guess…"Yuri said with a small smile before shaking his head "I should go.. Thanks for watching."
"Hey" a voice said pulling me back to reality, standing at Yuri's grave was none other to Victor "I had a feeling I'd find you here, your sister told me they were picking you up today when we spoke last."
"Oh hey.." I said as I joined him
"Those for him?" Victor asked referring to my bouquet
"Yea.. it is" well I just filled his vase but maybe theres room."
"Yea maybe.."
"Hey do you want to be alone? I can catch up with you later you know you'll be here all weekend. What about pizza tomorrow?"
"Pizza sounds great…" I reply "I'll see you then.."
After Victor faded from view into the night I turned back to Yuri and laid my bouquet before him and sat down. His name written in stone now at eye level, barely visible in the faint lights scattered around the graveyard
"Hey.. it's been a while.. I'm sure you already know but.. Next Saturday I'm graduating from college… Everyone is going to be there.. I wish you could be too.."
As expected there was no reply but I still paused as if you give him a chance to speak..
"Hey Yuri, if you had another chance would you take it? I've found myself wondering if I ever had a chance to really change things.." I continue while wiping away the few tears that had began to well up I try my best not to blame myself cause I know ultimately.. None of this was my fault.. But it's hard to know I was the last face you saw sometimes.. Like if I had reacted fast or managed to inch just a little closer beforehand. Could I have caught you?"
The silence continued, it was a stone-cold silence.
"I wish I had.. Just one more chance"
I stayed there for a while longer but eventually decided it was time to go home.
"I'm home.." I called as I walked through the door
"Otabek! Welcome home! You certainly were gone for a while did you and your friend have fun?
"Yea, I went to see Vic, we are gonna go get pizza tomorrow." I reply and I hung my bike keys at the front door and set my helmet down
"We made your favorite. But we got hungry and went ahead and ate, your portion is in the fridge it should still be good once heated up." Mom explained, "Now if you'll excuse me, we had a long day of driving and I'm getting old, so I'm going to bed." she finished giving me and hug before heading up to bed
"Goodnight mom" I called out as she ascended the staircase
"So you went to see him huh." Sasha began after we heard moms door close "That's good, I hope you finally got closure. Are you actually seeing Victor tomorrow?"
"Yea. he was already there When I arrived, I think he was waiting for me
"Yea I told him to go there through text after you left the car, figured if he didn't beat you there, he'd catch you leaving. I know you've been avoiding him. You always do at times like this."
"You know me so well, it's almost scary sometimes.."
"Come on, you should eat, you heard mom we made your favorite"
As I ate me and Sasha caught up on the things happening around town and her current boyfriend.
"And then he had the nerve to not answer, can you believe that!" Sasha exclaimed as she scrubbed the dishes "Honestly I'm reaching my breaking point with this boy!"
"Sounds like things continue to be exciting here." I chuckle as her phone pinged
"Oh look who suddenly wants to talk," She scoffed before turning to me " I'm going to bed, welcome home Beka"
"I'm done eating anyways I'll go to bed too."
As I lay in bed I couldn't help but think about everything, I thought about my childhood in Prixia, I thought about my sister Alina and all the signs I overlooked how withdrawn my mother was for years after. From the first time I met Yuri before moving and the first time I saw him after coming back, he seemed to have a permanent look of distance in his eyes. I know better than to dwell on things but sometimes it is hard to not. I wish I had one more chance even though I know I probably couldn't change things
"You must be Otabek." a young boy's voice called to me. I opened my eyes a frantically looked around, I was in the dance studio I first met yuri, is this a dream? It must be. Soon my eyes fell on a small young boy with a petite figure and pink hair.
"You… you must be."
"That's right, It's nice to finally meet you. Otabek." Trevor replied with a small smile
"What's going on?" I ask "This is a dream right?"
"Maybe it is.. Maybe not.. You see me and you have something in common.."
"And what is that?"
"We both wish for another chance," Trevor said before sitting before me and placing a taped together Sailor Neptune.
"Why now? Why didn't you try sooner?"
"I couldn't reach you during your years in high school, you had shut yourself off and when you left for college I couldn't reach you either. See… My spirit is locked in this town… I used to think I'd be free once Yuri achieved his dream but then… That didn't happen.. I want you to know I was rooting for you.."
"What can I even do? It's too late."
"Tell me Otabek? Do you have a dream? Is your life fulfilling as it is?"
"I mean… I have a loving family and some great friends… but it all feels empty.. I went to college and got a business degree because I figured that was what was expected of me. I've dated around since Yuri's death cause I thought maybe one of them would fill that void but all that happened was I'd hurt them in the end.. But what else could I do right? Yuri's gone.. I can't change that."
"Maybe you can.."
Before I could respond a horrible tune woke me up. It was a dream… A weird dream. This room it isn't my room.. But it's familiar. I got up for the bed and when to look for clue of where I was. And as I did I saw myself from the corner of my eye. I look young, really young. Is this… the past?