"Wei-xiong!" Nie HuaiSang whispers urgently.
"Shh!"
"Wei-xiong! We are gonna die!"
"Hush!"
Wei Wuxian quietly creeps along the wall until they reach the corner and then crouches low. He peeks out carefully. He looks up at the roof. He knows the exact spot where Lan Wangji can be found on his night patrol every night. He has it memorized by heart after living for four months at the Cloud Recesses.
"Huh!"
"What?" Nie HuaiSang whispers from behind him.
"He is not here," Wei Wuxian is surprised. How is that possible? Lan Wangji is a creature of habit.
He hears an exhale from behind him and turns to find Nie HuaiSang slide down the wall. "Wei-xiong, I really admire you. You're not scared at all."
"What's there to be scared of?" Wei WuXian lifts his brows.
"What if we had been caught red handed by him?"
"So what? He is just Lan Zhan. I can match him in every way."
Nie HuaiSang sighs and shakes his head.
"Besides, he is my friend!" Wei Wuxian smiles proudly.
"Can we go to my room now, please?" Nie HuaiSang looks down at the bag he is clutching. It's filled with peanuts.
Wei Wuxian peeks out again and then hesitates.
"You go. I will join you soon." He shoves the two jars of Emperor Smile into Nie HuaiSang's hands.
Then he turns and darts across the open courtyard under the full moonlit sky. He hears Nie HuaiSang gasp from behind and smiles to himself.
He spends an hour looking everywhere for Lan Zhan. He even goes as far as the Jingshi which is off-limits to the visiting students. Just as he is thinking of waking up ZeWu-Jun he comes upon the edge of the forests around Cloud recess. Hearing soft voices he quickly hides behind a tree.
"Wangji, you are hurt."
"Brother, it is not serious."
Hearing the smooth deep voice of Lan Zhan, Wei Wuxian leans out from his hiding place and cranes his neck. He is shocked to see Lan Wangji limping up the slope. ZeWu-Jun walking next to him looking clearly worried. On the body of Lan Zhan, even from the distance, he can see several cuts which are bleeding. His usual pristine robe is torn at several places.
"Wangji, you should have sent up a flare. We did not have proper information this time. Fighting the monster all by yourself was too dangerous."
"It is no matter."
ZeWu-Jun sighs and quietly accompanies his brother up the slope slowly towards the direction of jingshi.
Long after they are gone Wei Wuxian ponders about where Lan Zhan could have gone to. In the silvery moonlight he could see ZeWu-Jun was indeed correct about the fact that Lan Zhan was quite seriously injured. So, it must have been a particularly devilish monster. His heart swells at the thought of Lan Zhan being so brave, so selfless, so quiet.
He goes back to his friend's room and taps their secret code.
Tap-tap tap- tap tap tap tap-tap.
Nie HuaiSang opens the doors immediately.
"Wei-xiong! Finally! I thought Lan Qiren found you!"
Wei Wuxian scoffs and enters. They drink and talk. When Nie HuaiSang hears about Lan Wangji he immediately exclaims drunkenly, "Oh! What an elegant example of a brave cultivator he is. The perfect man that ever existed."
Wei Wuxian pauses and then nods. He thinks to himself what Nie HuaiSang is the truth after all. Wei Wuxian can match Lan Zhan in skills and pass him in wits but when it comes to being really, really good Wei Wuxian is no match. He is loud, boisterous, shameless.
He turns to his friend, "Do you think Lan Zhan can ever like someone?"
"..."
"No, seriously, he must be wanting a partner too, right?"
"Wei-xiong, what are you thinking? Who can even impress Lan Wangji? He deserves the best."
"Maybe...maybe...someone serious like him?"
"Yes."
"And of course talented."
"With equally good looks," Nie HuaiSang joins in enthusiastically.
"Right. Right...and uhhh…" Wei Wuxian feels an odd tightness in his chest but he stubbornly ignores it.
"But is there anyone like that here?"
Wei Wuxian rubs his chin and empties the last drop of Emperor Smile. "Hmm, I think there is one."
"Really? Who?"
"That quiet, studious boy from Jin sect. Who never hangs out with the peacock. That alone makes him special."
"Jin XuyanHu?
"How come you always know everyone's name?"
"Wei-xiong, we have been here for four months now. Shouldn't we be familiar with the others by now?"
Wei Wuxian pats his friend's shoulder. "True, true. I am not good with such things."
"That's why you have me. Hee hee."
Wei Wuxian guffaws at the lame joke and they both laugh some more at their glorious wits. Soon they pass out on the floor. He dreams of a monster chasing Lan Zhan but just as the sharp teeth of the beast are about to sink into the soft, smooth skin of Lan Zhan, Wei Wuxian comes to the rescue. Like a hero, he fights single-handedly with the beast and it dies by his hands in mere minutes. Lan Wangji looks at We Wuxian with his pretty eyes and whispers, "Wei Ying, I...I want -"
"Wei-xiong!"
"Wei-xiong!"
Someone is shaking him persistently.
"Wei-xiong! Wake up! You will be late for class."
"Go away!" Wei Wuxian rolls away from the irritating voice.
"Brother, if you miss class how can I pass the exam? You need to take notes."
Wei Wuxian tries to roll away again. The next instant he is shocked by cold water pouring on him.
That whole morning Wei Wuxian keeps throwing nasty glares at his friend in class.
By afternoon he is sober and calmer. So he drags Nie HuaiSang away with him under some false pretext to Jiang Cheng during their afternoon recess.
"Where are we going?"
"To find Jin XuyanHu."
"Why?"
Wei Wuxian takes a deep breath. "I will be a good friend to Lan Zhan and set him up with -"
"Are you serious?"
"Of course!"
"You...you..." his friend seems thunderstruck. "Aren't you -"
"There!" Wei Wuxian spots the quiet, shy boy under an old verdant tree. "Look he is studying even during the recess. He is the perfect choice!"
"Brother! Wait! I don't think Lan Wangji is interested -"
But Wei Wuxian is already marching towards the pretty boy confidently. As soon as he hears their footsteps Jin XuyanHu looks up. His eyes widen when he sees who is approaching him.
"Jin XuyanHu, I am Wei Wuxian."
Jin XuyanHu looks at them open mouthed. Wei Wuxian thinks to himself he is even quiet like Lan Zhan. And actually up close, he is quite good looking too. Lan Wangji would surely find him pleasing to the eyes. At this thought, he feels that strange sensation in his chest return again.
"Brother, I would like to talk to you about something serious."
Jin XuyanHu has recovered from his shock by now. So he finally speaks in a polite tone, "I am listening."
"You see, I am a friend of Lan Wangji and I am responsible for finding a suitable partner for him."
Jin XuyanHu mouth drops open again.
"After much thought, I have chosen you!" Wei Wuxian gives a dazzling smile.
The boy stares at Wei Wuxian as if he has grown two heads. Wei Wuxian throws his head back and laughs. The boy is indeed cute.
"Are you willing?"
"Lan Wangji?" Jin XuyanHu asks.
"Yes."
"Partner?"
"Yes, yes."
"The...the...second Jade of - "
Wei Wuxian impatiently says, "I know people think he is cold and aloof. But I am his friend and he is actually very kind, very compassionate. A perfect gentleman. Right,Nie HuaiSang?"
His friend nods but he still has that thunderstruck look.
"So!" Wei Wuxian slaps the boy's right shoulder and smiles widely. "What do you think? Are you interested?"
The boy turns red but does not say no. Wei Wuxian is delighted. First part of the plan is successful.
Now, all he has to do is convince Lan Zhan.
That evening he finds Lan zhan inside the library pavilion.
"Lan Zhan!" he shouts happily and skips inside. Lan Wangji looks up from the book he is reading and his eyes light up softly.
"Lan Zhan! Why were you not in class today morning?"
Then he remembers the previous night's event and examines Lan Wangji's face and robes carefully by leaning close.
"What are you looking at?" Lan Wangji asks backing away a little.
"Nothing! Nothing!" he waves his hands and stops leaning. The wounds, if any, are all hidden by new robes. "Are you well, Lan Zhan?"
"Hm."
"Lan Zhan, I have a question for you."
"Hm."
"Do you consider me your friend?"
Lan Wangji's expression shifts minutely before returning to normal. "Yes."
"Even perhaps the best friend you ever had?" Wei Wuxian grins mischievously.
Lan Wangji stares at him with a strange look . His eyes have always been mysterious and deep to Wei Wuxian. As if they hold the answer to all the mysteries of the universe. He stares back unable to break free.
After a while, Lan Wangji looks down. "Yes."
"Really?" Wei Wuxian is ecstatic.
Lan Wangji swallows.
"Really, Lan Zhan? You are so good!" Wei Wuxian's heart is about to burst.
Lan Wangji says nothing. He keeps looking at the pages of the book he was reading before.
"So then if I ask you something you will surely not refuse me, right?"
"What is it?"
"I want you to -" Wei Wuxian falters for some strange reason. "I want you to...to -"
Seeing Wei Wuxian stutter uncharastically Lan Wangji's expression changes slightly. "Wei Ying?"
"To meet a boy." Wei Wuxian bllurts out.
"Boy?"
"Yes! I have it all set up, Lan Zhan! He is really good. Like you. Very meritorious. Pretty too. I think you will like him. I have already talked to him. Please don't say no now or else how can I keep my face?"
Lan Wangji freezes.
Wei Wuxian knows this is the crucial part. He just has to get past this to convince Lan Zhan.
"Just once. It can't hurt, right? If you don't like him no worries."
Lan Wangji seems to have stopped breathing.
Wei Wuxian leans and pouts. "Please, Lan-gege. For me? Please?"
At the end Lan Wangji says nothing but also that means he doesn't refuse. So, Wei Wuxian arranges for them to meet the next evening in the gardens.
Before leaving, he looks at the book Lan Wangji is reading. He is surprised.
"Lan Zhan! I didn't know you are interested in culinary herbs and spices!"
"Hm." Lan Wangji is tone is cold somehow.
After he leaves Lan Zhan he bounces back to his room feeling like he accomplished something monumental. Tonight, Nie HuaiSang is busy and so is Jiang Chen. So, he is all alone by himself.
That's never a problem for him. At any given moment, he has several personal projects going on. But tonight, he feels like doing none of those. After a while his energy and excitement dissipates. A strange mood comes over him.
He sits by the window of his room. It was a full moon last night so the moon is still big and Cloud Recesses is bathed in the cool light. He looks outside at the tranquil world. The moon reminds me of Lan Wangji. May be because when they met for the first time it was a night just like this. He remembers how Lan Wangji looked in his white robes, his long hair moving in the slight breeze, his cold flawless face reflecting the moonlight in a way which had rendered Wei Wuxian speechless. A rare feat.
As the night progresses his mood worsens. His brilliant idea doesn't seem that great anymore. Everytime he tries to visualize Lan Wangji with the shy boy his mind reacts violently. Why the hell did he think Lan Wangji needs someone? What's wrong with just having a best friend? Sure, Wei Wuxian can never match Lan Zhan but is it that important? Lan Wangji himself never said anything about feeling lonely. He curses himself viciously. Ugh, so stupid.
He will talk to them tomorrow and cancel the whole thing. Yes, that's what he will do. He feels a little better but the unpleasant sensation of about to lose something precious doesn't go away completely. He sleeps fitfully that night.
Next morning he doesn't get a chance to talk to either of them. He of course forgot about the exam. Nie HuaiSang nervously accompanies him to the class and they spend the next five hours writing the boring exam. Lan Wangji finishes his exam much earlier and exits the room quietly. Wei Wuxian can easily do the same and talk to Lan Zhan but is a loyal friend so he helps Nie HuaiSang and stays back even though in his mind his top priority is something else entirely
After the exam, he has to rush because he hears that Shijie isn't feeling good. By the time, Wen Ning arrives and Shijie is tucked in her bed with advice to rest, it's late in the evening. Wei Wuxian hurriedly bids farewell to her and as soon as he is outside he starts running.
He goes to the Library pavilion first because that's where Lan Wangji spends most of his evenings. But damn! It's empty. So, he runs back towards the gardens. Out of breath when he is almost at the entrance the gardens, he stops abruptly in his tracks. Standing next to the tall privacy hedge he listens carefully.
Two quiet voices drift from the other side. He forces himself to calm down his panting. That's when he catches snippets of the conversation.
Lan Wangji and the boy are talking about the various techniques of string instruments. It's very technical and his heart sinks as he listens more. They both are clearly enjoying the discussion. He has never heard Lan Zhan speak in such long sentences to anyone before. Their conversation shifts to philosophy next and the boy shows his depth of knowledge. Wei Wuxian can't help but feel inferior. He has never cared to read long dry books like the one they are currently dissecting.
Wei Wuxian leaves silently. He walks back, his feet heavy, his whole body feels like he is suddenly carrying a huge boulder. What has he done? How could he be so stupid? Immediately he berates himself. Doesn't Lan Zhan deserve better? Of course, he does. Shouldn't he stop being so selfish? What kind of a friend was he?
With a bowed head he walks about aimlessly till Jiang Chang finds him. His brother scolds him for loitering around and takes him back to his room. Wei Wuxian's mind is not his brother's words. He just nods and though his brother tries to ask him, he waves his hands and pretends nothing is wrong.
That night, alone in his room, Wei Wuxian endures one of the longest nights of his life. Every second seems to taunt him. He feels so miserable that he can't even sleep. Tossing and turning in his bed, his mind goes crazy when he thinks what if Lan Zhan and the boy...what if they did more after talking? The thought sends a chill down his spine. His entire world comes crashing down.
The next morning, Shijiie looks at him with worried eyes.
"A-Xian, are you unwell?"
"No, no, Shijie," he tries to brush her away. But she persists.
"You have dark circles under your eyes. Didn't you sleep last night?"
"It is just because of the exam, Shijie," he smiles.
"But that was the night before," Nie HuaiSang chips in from besides him.
He hits his friend half playfully, half seriously. He manages to shake them both off and skips class. He can't bear to see Lan Zhan. It's just too much. Whole day he spends wandering around the forests, throwing rocks in the waterfall and lying amidst his rabbits. But nothing brings him peace. Even his appetite seems to have deserted him.
Over the next several days, everytime Lan Zhan and he cross paths, Lan Zhan appears cold and aloof. Wei Wuxian knew it was coming. Of course now that Lan Zhan has found a more suitable company why would he waste time on Wei Wuxian anymore? But just because he knew it was coming doesn't make it easy to accept. He tries everything to distract himself. Nothing helps. The pain in his chest becomes a constant companion. He has never felt so depressed before. What was wrong with him? It's just the loss of a friend, right? It's not like he never drifted apart from a friend before. Then why was this killing him? Why did he feel like he was suffocating under the weight of some unbearable grief?
Tap-tap tap- tap tap tap tap-tap.
The secret knock. Must be Nie HuaiSang then.
Wei Wuxian opens the doors and gestures his friend inside.
"Wei-xiong, what's the matter? For the past days you've been -"
"Nothing," he replies trying his best to sound nonchalant but failing utterly.
"Is it Lan Wangji?"
Wei Wuxian looks up. "What about him? What do you know?"
"Nothing. Did you not -"
"Is he...did you see him with the boy again?"
"Umm, yes."
Wei Wuxian collapses on hearing this.
"Wei-xiong!" his friend sounds alarmed. "It was just one time. Must have been about studies. They were just conversing -"
Wei Wuxian can't take it anymore. He rises from the floor and rushes out.
"Brother Wei! Where are you going?"
"To find trouble."
His head hurts. He hears himself groaning. A gentle cool touch on his forehead makes him go still. He blinks his eyes open. The first thing he notices is the elegant unfamiliar ceiling. The next thing he sees is a calm face bent over him with concern in the dark eyes.
"Lan Zhan!" he croaks trying to sit up. Then he notices where he is. On a low bed in the middle of the Lan Manor. Lan Wangji is sitting beside his bed with a small washcloth which he dips into cold water and resumes wiping Wei Wuxian's forehead.
"What - what happened? Why am I here?"
"..."
Hearing his voice a tall figure enters through the doors. Wei Wuxian swallows.
"ZeWu-Jun!"
Elder brother looks down at Wei Wuxian kindly. There's a hint of a smile on his face.
"Young master Wei, looks like you have recovered."
Wei Wuxian is starting to panic. Recover from what? Why is he here? What did he do?
ZeWu-Jun continues, "Wangji, you can stop now."
"Hm." Lan Wangji cleans up without saying anything more. Wei Wuxian watches him like a hawk looking for any clues in his expression. But Lan Zhan's face is like a statue carved from jade.
ZeWu-Jun walks with them. It's early morning and dawn is breaking over the mountains around. Wei Wuxian has never woken up so early in his life. Golden light filters through the trees and falls on Lan Wangji's face. Wei Wuxian goes in a trance. Maybe it's worth waking up so early after all.
He glances nervously at Lan Wangji then at ZeWu-Jun. Between the two he decides to approach the latter.
"ZeWu-Jun, what did I do? Am I in trouble again?" he asks in a low voice.
ZeWu-Jun smiles slightly.
"You do not remember?"
"No, I don't."
ZeWu-Jun leads Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji to a part of the Cloud Recesses he has never been to earlier. The dining hall for the Lan family. Wei Wuxian is shocked.
Inside the hall, there are four seats setup. The three of them sit down. Breakfast tea is served by a young disciple who vanishes as fast as he can after serving Wei Wuxian. He is wondering at the fourth empty seat when Lan Qiren enters! Wei Wuxian stares in shock.
"Shufu," both the Lan brothers greet their uncle.
Wei Wuxian is deciding whether he should open his mouth and greet but then wouldn't that draw attention to his existence? Whatever he has done last night is clearly something even worse than when he argued with Lan Qiren and was thrown out of class. But if he doesn't greet that's another offense.
So he opens his mouth to greet but before anything comes out Lan Qiren throws a death glare at him and Wei Wuxian falls silent quickly.
Breakfast is a quiet, utterly uncomfortable experience. Wei Wuxian can't even taste what he eats. Why is he dining in the private hall with the Lan family? Is this some kind of Gusu Lan ritual before someone is sacrificed? The last meal?
He is still alive when Lan Zhan and he arrive at classroom. He does notice an awful lot of people staring at him or avoiding looking at him. Huh! What's with that?
Jiang Cheng looks at him like he wants to personally throw Wei Wuxian out of the Cloud Recesses.
"Lan Zhan, are you mad at me?"
"..." Lan Wangji looks at him with a strange expression. Wei Wuxian doesn't know what to make of it but it is not anger. Unlike last few days when Lan Wangji was being cold towards him he is now back to how they were before Wei Wuxian came up with the worst idea in the history of all ideas.
About that, he remembers he still needs to fix it. The class is about to start though so he whispers to Lan Wangji, "Lan Zhan, can I talk to you after class today? Will you be at the Library?"
"No. Going to town."
"Oh! Umm, can I come too?"
"Hm."
Wei Wuxian is stunned. Lan Wangji agreed? What could he have possibly done last night that has made everyone else mad or uncomfortable but not Lan Zhan?
As soon as class finishes, he pounces on Nie HuaiSang.
"What did I do?"
"You don't remember?"
"No! I really don't."
Nie HuaiSang looks uncomfortable. He tries to hide behind his fan but Wei Wuxian won't let him. He pesters his friend and even threatens to stop helping him pass exams. Just as Nie HuaiSang looks like he is about to divulge, Wei Wuxian notices Lan Wangji walking away in the distance. With Bichen in one hand and a small bag in another hand.
"WangJi-xiong, wait for me!" He yells. Everyone in the vicinity turns towards him.
He has no time to process that. He runs after Lan Wangji and falls in stride next to him.
"Lan Zhan! You did agree I could come,right?"
"Hm."
Wei Wuxian smiles. He is feeling really happy. A weight seems to have been lifted from his chest. His lungs can breathe again.
They walk into town together. Wei Wuxian is chattering away cheerfully, telling Lan Wangji everything he did and saw during the past few days when they weren't on speaking terms.
"Lan Zhan, what's in the bag you're carrying?"
"A copy of the book of ancient string music for meditation."
"Oh nice!" He is about to ask more when he suddenly stops speaking. His eyes fall on a figure standing in the street amidst the crowd.
Lan Wangji follows his gaze and see the figure as well. It's the Jin boy.
Wei Wuxian awkwardly fiddles with Subian and steps away from Lan Wangji.
"Umm, I will just...just look at these," he mumbles, turning his back towards Lan Wangji and entering a stall nearby. He should give them privacy he figures. After all they are...they are...a couple?
Wait, no! No, No! Didn't he decide that was a stupid idea? He twirls in an instant and finds Lan Wangji and the boy are staring at one another. Seeing this, he launches himself towards Lan Wangji and clings to his arm.
"Lan Zhan!"
Lan Wangji's eyes widen. People walking around them stare at them. Wei Wuxian won't let go of the arm. Lan Wangji looks at him with a severe wei-ying-what-are-you-doing look.
Wei Wuxian knows very well he is not supposed to hang onto the Second jade of Lan, let alone in a public place but that Lin guy is standing just a few meters away, still looking at them, and his brain is not working anymore. So, he looks back at Lan Wangji helplessly with a I-honestly-don't-know-either look.
Then he turns towards the shy boy and yells, "Jin XuyanHu! I challenge you to a duel."
He hears a sound coming from Lan Wangji's lips. It could be a gasp or a laugh, he is not entirely sure.
"Wei ying, are you drunk again?"
"No, Lan Zhan. I am just...just," he looks at Lan Wangji helplessly. What is he doing? He is sober but lately it has started feeling as if he is indeed intoxicated. Not on alcohol but on Lan Wangji. The realization hits him cold. He swallows nervously still clutching Lan Wangji's strong arm. His face is so close to Lan Wangji that he can see the individual eye lashes clearly. They look at each other.
The moments stretch on. Wei Wuxian's face starts feeling hot. Rest of the world melts away. It's just him and this elegant boy in front of him whose eyes call out to Wei Wuxian, whose slightly parted lips pull at his heartstrings, whose kindness and bravery makes Wei Wuxian want to start writing poetry.
Lan Wangji is the first to come back to his senses. He dislodges Wei Wuxian and says with authority in his voice, "Wait here."
When Wei Wuxian sees Lan Wangji walking towards Jin XuyanHu he whines, "Lan Zhan!"
Lan Wangji stops, turns back and glares, "Wait."
So, Wei Wuxian reluctantly obeys. He watches them talk for a few moments and sees the boy lift his eyes and look at Wei Wuxian over Lan Wangji's shoulder. Lan Wangji gives the boy the small bag he had brought along. The boy looks again at Wei Wuxian but there's no hostility in the shy eyes. Actually it feels like Jin XuyanHu's gaze holds understanding. Wei Wuxian feels super dumb suddenly.
They part ways and Lan Wangji calmly glides back to Wei Wuxian like an ethereal being descended from the heavens.
"Let's go back."
Wei Wuxian is still too transfixed by Lan Wangji's pink,soft lips to think properly. He follows without resistance. The journey back is quiet. Wei Wuxian's heart is hammering against his ribs since the incident on the street. Something possessive has erupted inside him and with it a host of other things. It feels wild, wholly untameable and all-consuming.
"Lan Zhan, what did I do last night?" he whispers when they are near Cloud Recesses.
Lan Wangji looks at him and then takes him towards the wall of rules. He pauses right in front of it and points to the last section of the wall. Wei Wuxian reads,
"Rule 2996: Do not be overly happy
Rule 2997: Do not be overly sad
Rule 2998: Do not be over-the-top
Rule 2999: Do not speak ill of others
Rule 3000: Do not live extravagantly"
Wei Wuxian already knows all of these so he is about to ask Lan Wangji but then he gapes. Added in scrawling script there's a new line,
"Rule 3001: Do not covet Lan Wangji. He belongs to Wei Wuxian."
Next to the writing is a small illustration of two stick figures kissing.