I didn't think that the rewrite was going to be longer than the original, but there have been so many changes and things that I wanted to add that I imagine this has more than two or three chapters left. For example, I wasn't planning on bringing Julien in, but I am a sucker for a classic misunderstanding trope. But we are going to be moving towards the original daft in many ways after this including bringing in a favorite character of mine back with the next chapter and start building to an angsty climax.

Two days, it had been only two days since they had returned to HQ to begin the "waiting game" as Skipper had dubbed it. Of course, Kowalski didn't doubt that Skipper had some plan up his sleeve, but he remained preoccupied with the damning evidence on his phone and the fact that Rico hadn't spoken to him in three days. Actually, Rico had hardly spoken to anyone the last two days apart from Marlene and Skipper. At first, Kowalski wanted to think that Rico was merely avoiding him, which stung, but it seemed that Rico was avoiding everyone and had taken to disappearing for a few hours every day. No one was sure where he went but it didn't go unnoticed that Rico seemed to be more at peace with things whenever he returned, although it was hard to say if it was because he had to be or if he simply had resigned himself to the fact that he was dying and the odds were simply against him.

Kowalski closed his eyes for a moment, feeling the beginning of a headache starting but regretted it as Rico's hurt expression from the video flashed in his mind. He had watched the video several times looking for some slip up on Doris's part, but he had never made it past the moment when Doris's hands touched Rico's chest. Music began to drift down from the room above, startling Kowalski from his thoughts, he didn't think Rico would go into his studio space, not when he could barely bring himself to walk past the room.

I know it's not enough/Why does defeat always taste so bittersweet?/I just wanna live and die in peace

Kowalski's frown deepened as he listened to the lyrics. He knew Rico had a morbid sense of humor, it was something they bonded over on occasion, but this time it didn't sit right with him.

"Or that might just be the guilt," he muttered to himself as he sat up and looked to Rico's side of the room. It looked untouched as if Rico hadn't been in it since the night of the attack and if it wasn't for the additional clothes in the hamper Kowalski would think that was the case. His stomach sank as he started to wonder if Rico wasn't as withdrawn as he believed. Perhaps Rico was avoiding him and with a sickening twist in his gut, it occurred to Kowalski that Rico believed that he had a direct hand in creating the serum and had chosen to help Doris get her revenge.

With pure determination, Kowalski made his way to Rico's workspace even if his stomach rolled with each step. He had to come clean to Rico about the video, no matter how bad it made him look because he had to let Rico know that he would never betray him.

"Rico, I —" Kowalski froze seeing that Rico wasn't alone as he had thought. He hesitated in the doorway as he realized that he hadn't been heard over the music or Julien's chattering.

"What kinds of things do you offer her? With the Sky Spirits, we would hold feasts with lots of dancing and music."

"Food, money, cigarettes...drinks," Rico responded as he continued to work on a painting of two boys holding hands while huddled together at the base of an altar lighting a red candle.

"And what does she give you in return?"

"Protection," the word tasted bittersweet and then he then added another reason for praying to the saint, the reason he had started praying to the figure again," and a safe passage."

Julien began to flip through a sketchbook on the table, "could have used that when we were leaving Madagascar."

Rico chuckled and shook his head, "not that type of passage." At least not usually, but there were few things that Santa Muerte did not do.

Julien looked up from the sketchbook confused. "What other type of passage is there?"

At this question, Rico's expression grew somber as he answered, "Death."

Julien closed the sketchbook, crossed the short distance to the other man, and practically draped himself over Rico.

Kowalski swallowed thickly as Rico dropped the brush he was holding to return the embrace. He could pinpoint the exact moment that the stoic facade collapsed and watched in horror as Rico's shoulders began to shake as the man broke down in Julien's arms. Another moment passed for Kowalski was able to bring himself to leave and as much as he wanted to offer Rico comfort- it was his fault that Rico was even in this position, to begin with. Without bringing any attention to himself he made his way to the roof and hoped that no one had found his cigarette stash.

Of course, hoping never worked out for Kowalski and he wasn't surprised to see that his stash was gone and instead replaced by a cheeky note from Rico that only made him feel worse. Rico probably hated him now and he couldn't imagine anything that could change that.

"Kowalski? Everything alright?"

Private's voice startled Kowalski and he was glad that he hadn't been any closer to the edge of the roof. He turned to acknowledge his teammate and held the note up in response but couldn't help but add a sarcastic, "couldn't be better."

A laugh escaped Private, "I told you Rico would find your stash. He hates it when you smoke and you keep promising that you'll quit but you never do." The younger man shook his head, "I still can't believe that with all that you have been willing to do for Rico, you draw the line at taking better care of yourself."

Kowalski couldn't help but roll his eyes at the remark, "I have a higher chance of dying in the field than dying of lung cancer from smoking the occasional cigarette. Besides, I doubt Rico cares now. And if I walked down and asked for my cigarettes back he'd probably give them to me with a smile and tell me to choke on them."

"Bloody hell, where did that come from?" Private stared at Kowalski in shock. "Do you think Rico hates you now?"

"Why wouldn't he? Rico is going to die and it's my fault!"

"How's it your fault? How could you have known that Doris was going to do this?"

Kowalski looked at Private incredulously, "Because Skipper was right. He's always right. It never made sense why Doris would suddenly agree to go out with me. I was stupid to think otherwise! I mean, what woman has ever shown interest in having a relationship with me?"

Private opened his mouth to counter Kowalski's last point but knew that it was not the time to bring up Henrietta. "Okay, so you haven't had much luck in the romance department, but that doesn't mean that the only reason someone would date you would be to get revenge on us. Do you hear how ridiculous that sounds?"

"But it happened."

Private frowned, it hadn't occurred to him before that Kowalski was dealing with so much self-loathing and grief over the events of the last few days. Yet, it made sense that Kowalski would rather hide away and suffer in silence, picking at every possible angle that would have led to a different outcome. "But it still doesn't make it your fault. Look if you had turned Doris down, she was probably still going to go through with her plan. I mean, Rico killed her brother, to save you, I might add. So that fact that she was able to string you along and have you agonizing over this is probably just the cherry on top for her."

"You're right," Kowalski admitted as he thought back to the video, and even knowing that this was part of Dori's plan the guilt still remained heavy in his chest.

"And I'm sorry, Kowalski," Private added softly. "I know you loved her and it sucks that she couldn't love you the same way if she loved you at all. But, I trust my gut when it tells me that there is going to be someone out there who is going to fall in love with you and you're going to fall in love with them and you won't be able to think of a time where anyone mattered as much as that person means to you."

"Thanks, Private, I don't have much hope for anything with the way things are but I'm glad that someone does."

Private shook his head, "Honestly, I don't have any hope in CENTRAAL figuring this out and I don't have much hope in whatever Skipper is planning, but it's better than sitting around and doing nothing. Anyway, I just wanted to let you know that I was going to order pizza tonight so if you wanted to come down in a bit..." Private trailed off. "Also you really should try to talk to Rico. It would be good for both of you."

" I will and I'll be down in a bit," Kowalski answered and couldn't help but think about Private's earlier remark as the youngest member of the team left. Of course, it had gone unsaid that they were still waiting to see what the plan was but it was clear that Skipper had no plans of giving up any time soon. Kowalski groaned and ran a hand down his face, too emotionally raw to deal with much more today. Feeling more defeated than before, Kowalski made his way back down the stairs nearly fell when he heard Julien say his name. But it seemed the prince was talking to Rico and hadn't even noticed his presence. Actually, neither of them did as they stood outside of the studio space.

"-regret not saying anything to this day." Julien finished and then touched Rico's cheek gently. "And don't forget: a lot of people love you. I love you. So don't give up just yet, okay?"

Rico smiled softly, "okay."

"Good," Julien pulled Rico into another hug before releasing him with a grin, "and let me know if you're going to make an offering tomorrow, I want to come with you. But make sure it's like sometime after 11 because a king needs his beauty sleep."

Kowalski felt his chest clench at the exchange, a part of him wondering when Rico and Julien had gotten back together, but the larger part of him was stuck on how it sounded like Rico was getting ready to give up. He has made his way back to the roof hoping to pull his phone from his pocket and hesitated over the contact that he had pulled up. It would be a mistake to dial, he knew that, but how had Private put it? It was better than sitting and doing nothing. After all, there was no guarantee that Doris would answer.