Chapter 10

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter.

A/N: Hello, beautiful readers! How are you all? Here goes chapter ten which is full of more depression than I thought I had in me. Review, and tell me what I can do better, because, who am I kidding I need it. Ok, that's all for now! Enjoy!

"Mum!" James cried out as soon as his feet hit the gravel near the front gates of Potter Manor. He was sprinting, and it registered briefly in his mind that this was probably not the most comfortable ride for Lily, but dismissed the thought. He had to get inside. Fast.

Without breaking stride, he looked over his shoulder to see if his friends were following him. Mentally cursing the anti-apparition wards around Potter Manor, he sprinted steadily towards the main building.

"Missy!" James snapped at the house-elf. James didn't make it a habit to be rude to the house elves, but desperate times called for desperate measures.

"Yes, Mister James?" The house-elf squeaked, surprised by James's short tone.

"Get mum. Tell her that I'm in one of the spare bedrooms, and that this is an emergency."

The little house-elf nodded and disappeared with a crack. James grunted, and readjusted Lily's weight in his arms. She didn't weight that much, but she was getting quite heavy after a while. He had to admit that even his Quidditch-toned muscles were feeling a strain.

He made sure to be careful while climbing the stairs, as not to fall over and jostle Lily any more than she already had been.

Sirius opened the door to one of the spare bedrooms and James carefully set her on the bed before even thinking of catching his breath.

In all honesty, James was terrified. He was terrified of the blank look on Lily's face as Petunia so carelessly spat the words that broke her little sister. He was terrified of the way Lily had been shouting when she saw her parents lie lifeless on the ground. He was terrified by the fact the Lily hadn't struggled in his arms even once, hadn't called him 'Potter' and punched him in the arm even once. He was terrified of the glassy look in the emerald eyes that were always so full of vitality and energy that he had fallen in love. And he was also ashamed. Ashamed that although he had come from generations of Gryffindors, he had still panicked and been nearly paralyzed with fear when he had seen Lily lie there unconscious and barely breathing when the Death Eaters had stunned her to get her out of the way while they murdered her parents in cold blood.

Alice, ever the forward thinker had managed to grab Lily's bag before they apparated out of the auditorium and was currently trying to dig through the scrunchies, hairspray and books to find some normal street clothes. But the aura of productivity that surrounded her was merely a façade to hide her tears and internal hysteria. As a pureblood girl of good breeding and decent manners, she knew how to keep her composure, even in the worst of times, but no matter what she tried, it just wouldn't work. She couldn't stop her tears from dripping down her cheeks.

Marlene bounced up and down on her toes, trying to contain her restless, resentful adrenaline-induced energy. She felt absolutely useless and miserable. She didn't know what to do when a person was upset. She was completely out of her zone. Of course she wanted to help Lily, and she would, given the opportunity, but somehow, she knew that she would be worse than useless right now. Give her a handful of Death Eaters to fight, a Quidditch game to win, some trolls to fight, of dragons to tame, and she would be fine. She would be happy. But the minute feelings, or emotions came into play, she would be out of there before you could say 'hippogriff.' Looking over at the shell-shocked girl who she had befriended and mentored in the way of the prankster now, she couldn't reconcile the image she was seeing, to the cute, energetic, intelligent eleven year old that she had met for the first time on the Hogwarts express.

Sirius Black, play-boy, Quidditch star, and Marauder to boot had gone a strange, ashy-white color. In his mind, he kept replaying the scene when Petunia broke her sister, one of her own family, with two cruel, well-placed words. It was exactly like he had forsaken his own baby brother. Had he had the same effect on Regulus and Petunia had on Lily? Sweet Merlin, he hoped not. At least Regulus still had mum and dad, however horrible and nasty they might have been. At least Regulus wasn't all alone.

Mary was sitting at the edge of the bed, undoing the ribbons on Lily's pointe shoes, half-expecting Lily to sit up, shoo her away, and claim that she could do it by herself, but she knew that that was a ridiculous thing to expect. The poor girl had lost both her parents and her big sister for crying out loud! It was stupid, at the very least, to expect normalcy. Tears stung at the back of her eyes and she tried blinking then away, the way Lily would have if the situation was reversed. She had always admired her friend, although she would never admit it to anyone. Lily would be mortified if she ever knew, but there was something in her confident nature and disposition that drew the quiet, insecure girl like Mary in, like a moth around a light.

Meanwhile, downstairs in the kitchen Remus was making tea. His hands were moving of their own accord while his mind wandered. It was unfair he reflected coolly. He wasn't in hysterical tears, or even seemed remotely affected by this under his scarred face. He was angry, in a scary calm way. He was angry at life for being such a monster to the people who don't at all deserve it. He was angry that Lily and her family were the ones to pay the price for another bastard's bigotry and prejudice. He had come to view Lily as a little sister over the years, and he hated the fact that she had been put through this. He should be the one who was grieving. He hated the fact that the light had been torn out of her eyes. Yet most of all, he hated that the full moon was coming up and he couldn't be there for the girl who had been there pull him out of a very dark place once.

Gone. The word bounced around in Lily's uncomprehending head. Gone. All of them. Mum. Dad. Petunia. All gone. Somehow, she just couldn't force herself to believe it.

James turned his hazel eyes away from the dazed form that was Lily, unable to bear her lifeless eyes only more pronounced by the mascara, actually designed to bring out expression in her eyes. Gently, he smoothed her hair back (a completely pointless gesture considering the amount of hairspray that had gone into the making of her meticulous bun) and kissed her forehead in the most brotherly way possible, and then quickly turned to go outside, suddenly needing the air. Almost as an afterthought, he grabbed a sweater and headed outside.

The sun cast a beautiful blood-red color over the sky, making the clouds look like they were bleeding and a fine mist hung in the pre-dusk sky, soaking everything that it came in contact with. The manicured grounds of Potter Manor were about to be plunged into darkness by one of the most magnificent sunsets that all of Britain was luck to witness, but for James, there was no beauty in the sunset. There was no beauty in anything. Not while Lily Evans lay in his house apparently given up on life because death was surrounding her seemingly fragile form.

And quite suddenly James was crying. Crying for Lily's parents, whom he had met on exactly one occasion, but they had seemed like good people. Crying for his own dad, who he had watched bleed out on the living room sofa. Crying for all the things wrong in the world, that somehow overshadow everything good, and crying for Sirius, and his horrible family life, and for Remus who was turned into a monster who he wasn't, and for Peter who seemed to be at the center of everyone's practical jokes to a point where even the great Marauders couldn't protect him. But he mostly cried out of a crushing sense of loneliness that threatened to suffocate him ever since his dad died.

Suddenly, he wanted to ask his mum if he could join her for the night like he did when he was five and had nightmares, but he knew he couldn't. He was seventeen and a grown man. He was legally an adult, but inside he felt like a lost little boy who was waiting to be found.

Dimly he registered that it was complete dark outside, and he should really get back inside. But he couldn't bring himself to do it. Not yet.

A/N: So what do you think? Leave a review and make my day because I have had an honestly craptastic week. Thanks! You guys are awesome.