1Disclaimer: Rowan is tired and can think of no clever way to say this. So: Rowan does not own FMA. She did not write it, she did not create it.

AC (Author's Claim): The OC in this chapter belongs to me, got it? Julie Hakuro is my character! Yay, some things here are totally and completely mine!

Note: This was a long time coming, and I apologize for the long delay. Let's just say that Mother Nature was not on my side and she, along with many college visits, forced this chapter to the back burner. And instead of rushing this chapter, I wanted to make it good, so that is another factor that went into that delay. But at least it is now finished. You waited two extra weeks for this, so without further delay, on to Chapter Five!

Darling

Chapter Five- Gyu'tto dakishimete

Edward Elric is more twisted than I ever gave him credit for. I'd heard he was a bit of a hermit, certainly very anti-social, barely knows how to function in public at all! As a State Alchemist, quite disappointing. But last night I discovered just how messed up he really is. Elric keeps a diary of sorts and in many of the entries I read, he confessed to having incestuous feelings for his brother, Alphonse. He seemed to realize how sick he is to have such thoughts; still, while he pleaded many times for those feelings to go away, he lingered on many fantasies he imagined up between himself and his brother. Both fascinating and vile to read.

Of course, I shall keep this information to myself at the moment. No real need to destroy Alphonse's image of his older brother, and as I have promised that neither shall see each other alone- should those disgusting urges overtake the elder Elric in the solitary companionship of his brother- I need not worry about Alphonse being corrupted by such desires.

It is a pity, though. I have grown rather...fond, of Master Alphonse. Even enough to consider marrying him. After all, I must be careful in choosing a mate worthy of my status as a General's niece, and Alphonse would have been an excellent choice. Well-bred, with a famous older brother, soft-spoken, and not bad in bed (though I've had better.) Of course, after my biography of Edward Elric is published, there can be no question of marrying Alphonse. While he does not currently seem to reciprocate any kind of similar feeling toward his brother, the mere association will, undoubtably, make him quite taboo among the better social circles. Not his fault, and if I could I would spare him the humiliation, but the truth must be known. Edward Elric must be exposed as the monster he is. Not only to transgress the line between life and death, performing the forbidden art of human transmutation, but to harbor such sinful lust for his brother Alphonse as well? No, the public must be made aware of just who it is they are idolizing. Yes, it is a nasty job, but someone has to do it. No matter the cost.

"Alphonse!" Edward sat up in bed, his body covered in sweat, his eyes wide, searching the room as if expecting to see his brother, or the suit of armor he once called brother, waiting and watching. But his room was empty, the door open only a crack to the hallway. Across the corridor, Ed could hear Havoc's snores. Al was nowhere to be seen.

Lying back down, resting the nest of golden hair in the damp impression in the pillow, Ed felt sad enough to cry. Another dream of course, about Alphonse and things that he could never know. The contours of Al's stomach, the skin stretched tight over his ribs, the tight ropes of muscle in his arms, and how strong they felt holding Edward to his chest. And lower, where he could only fill in with what little knowledge he had and the time he brought Alphonse's perfect body back. Ed closed his eyes and wished himself back to his dream, where everything was perfect and where Al loved him and where that was okay. But sleep evaded Edward and would not let him escape to that fantasy.

Sighing in defeat, Edward slipped out of bed and crept over to his desk, turning the desk light on and pulling the notebook out from an alchemically locked drawer. It had been about a week and a half now since his birthday party and since no one had come to kill him for his sins, least of all Alphonse, Ed could safely assume that Julie had kept the information she found from his note to herself. At least for now he was safe, though how close she was to finishing her book was unknown. No doubt in Ed's mind that she would mention that then.

The thing that bothered Edward equally as much as Julie's knowledge of what no one should have ever known was Alphonse's soft refusal to speak to him. Ed had called at least a half a dozen times to apologize to Al for being so heartless- though honest- but every time he was immediately hung up on. There was the possibility that Julie was behind that, but she couldn't have answered the phone all those times, which meant that Al really did not want to speak to him.

Edward held the detested notebook in his hand, his lip curling at the soft leather cover. Flipping through the pages with his metal thumb, his eyes caught words like "love" "help" "death" "please" and, scrawled with love and hate and passion and desperation, "Alphonse." How stupid, to think writing in this book would help him!

Ed placed the notebook on the desk. Behind him, he could feel the moon watching over his shoulder. Edward smirked at her soft blue light leaking through his shades into his room, like it was some place important. Laughing under his breath, Edward solemnly clapped his hands and held them dramatically over the note. "In honor of you, Colonel," he said, then placed his hands on the book.

At first nothing happened and Ed raised his hands away from the leather cover. Stepping back, his shadow fell away from the book and the moon illuminated a tiny spark in the middle of the yellow pages. Slowly, the spark grew, hunger in its nature, like a tiny dragon gobbling up the words, food for thought and fuel. Soon the book was nothing more than a tiny bonfire, a pagan ritual to some god or other, asking, perhaps, for salvation. Or maybe it was a ceremony in honor of the deity, thanking them for the gifts they showered down. Edward watched, unsure of what he wanted more: to forget, or liberation. The kind of liberty only gotten from drink or hermitage. The kind of freedom that took away shame.

As the book fizzled into a tiny pile of ashes, Edward's eyes began to droop and, staggering into bed, he managed to fall into a tortuous, dreamless, sleep.

One afternoon not long after that, Edward found himself sitting at a table near a window inside a restaurant in downtown Central. It was not a particularly memorable lunch, except Alphonse walked inside, alone. Julie, with her flame-red hair, flawless speech, and aura of feminine perfection, was nowhere to be seen. Edward was in the middle of a bite into his sandwich when he saw Alphonse walk inside, his face free from worry and looking as beautiful as ever. Ed tried to hide among the cold cuts and cheese, so only his eyes showed above the rise of the bread, golden suns over a wheat-covered hill watching as his brother sauntered over to the counter. His heart beat in his chest and the blood turned his cheeks pink with excitement. At once Edward wished for Al to see him, and at the same time not, so he could unabashedly study him from afar.

As Ed's mind raced to pray to whomever would listen, not quite sure which he wanted more, someone seemed to decide for him, as Alphonse's eyes wandered over to the window and, inevitably, Edward's wide eager eyes. He started in surprise and Ed's heart froze for a moment, until a warm, generous smile spread over his face and broke Ed's heart. Speaking to the man behind the counter for a moment, Al pointed towards Edward's table, then walked over to it. Ed dropped his sandwich, his fingers numb with shock and each step that brought Alphonse so much closer. Even his automail hand reacted as though it were part of his biological structure, falling to his side, useless against the power of Alphonse's presence.

Finally, excruciatingly, Alphonse stood beside Edward, the smile still gleaming on his face. "Edward!" he cried, his hand inching through the air toward Ed's shoulder, but hesitating. He had not forgotten what ed said at his party, and his heart had been wounded; despite the grin, Edward could see that in his brother's dear eyes. "What a pleasant surprise. Do you mind if I sit?"

"Uh...no, not at all," Edward replied, so conscious of his over-squeaky voice. Ed never thought he'd see him again, and here he was, completely, orgasmically, whole, and all his for this moment. No wonder his throat felt so tight with disbelief. "It's great...to see you, Al."

Al grinned, but it faded at Edward's wide eyes and tensed body. "Is something wrong?" he asked, worried, reaching his hand out again, but retracting it before making contact. "Brother, are you under a lot of stress at work?"

Edward shook his head quickly and returned, too late, a shaky smile. "No, I'm fine. In fact, Colonel Mustang hasn't given me any assignments lately and I've been begging him for some kind of work." Ed laughed uneasily. "The bastard, he must have something huge planned and wants me to get used to this leisure so he can dump it on me unexpectedly."

Alphonse laughed, throwing his head back and letting loose the most musical sound in the world. Ed turned his head toward the window so he wouldn't have to watch. What a wonderful place to let his love show, and surely if Al looked up now, he would see the light of love in his older brother's eyes. Wouldn't that be wonderful, for only around Al did Edward feel completely naked.

Al's laughter faded into a shimmering note, hanging in the air then coming to rest in Edward's heart. Al looked out the window to the sunny afternoon outside, his eyes trying to meet Ed's reflection in the glass. "You know Mustang doesn't really live to make your life miserable, Ed," he said.

Ed sighed and closed his eyes. Even in the glass, Al's eyes were intense; even his reflection gave him away. "No, I suppose not. I guess it's just habit to say that now; tradition, you know?" Ed lifted his eyes to Al, but away before Al could glance back at him. "Anyway, I heard that...that Julie's moving in with you?"

Al blushed. "Oh, yeah. Well, she insisted that it was the right thing to do, now that we've reached that part in our relationship."

Ed glanced up sharply. "What?"

Al nodded. "Yeah, it was really weird. The day after your birthday, she came up to me and said that we'd reached that point in our relationship where we should move in together or break up. 'Progress,' she said, 'is the only way for a relationship to develop. Either you move forward, or you get off the train.'"

"She said that?" Ed gasped.

Al chuckled. "Yeah, I was very shocked when she did too. Never imagined something like that coming from her."

Ed laughed with his brother, but it ended abruptly when the waiter came to get Al's order. When he left, a silence, not quite uncomfortable, reigned over the table. Neither spoke until the waiter returned with Al's lunch. When he left a second time, Ed could no longer stand the silence, the question nearly bursting from him.

"What did Julie mean by that 'point' in your...relationship?"

Al looked up from his food, his dark eyes meeting Edward's eyes, but missing the evident jealousy coloring the golden hue. Al unconsciously blushed. "Well, uh...Julie and I have kind of...well, a couple weeks ago was the first time we...we slept together."

"Ah," said Ed. "That point." His heart wondered loudly why he did that to himself. Maybe he really was masochistic.

"Say, Edward?" Al looked away from Edward, already embarrassed. "Have you ever...?"

Ed laughed bitterly. "You mean, am I still a virgin?" he asked. Al nodded slowly. "...Yes, I am."

"Oh..." Al didn't know what to say, and what was there to say to that anyway? Sorry? Do you want to be set up with someone? Or perhaps, maybe you can join us sometime. An offer Ed would pretend not to even consider.

Though, to be invited into Alphonse's bed, Julie or no Julie, would be a hard thing to refuse.

A painful two weeks passed, slow, agonizing, as Edward watched Al's relationship with Julie flourish from afar. Sleepless nights were spent staring at the moon, while the nights Edward managed to fall prey to slumber, horrible, wonderful dreams of Al and sheets and sweat and sex haunted him until morning. Edward moved from day to day, like a fully automail thing, moving mechanically from task to task, until he fell to his pillow, hoping for a reprieve from his pining and from his terrible fantasies.

The only thing that kept him alive were the secret meetings with Alphonse every few days. After the first lunch, the brothers made a regular habit of meeting for lunch a couple times a week. While Al was oblivious to Julie's decree that Ed would never be alone with Alphonse, Edward found an exhilarating pleasure in these lunchtime dates, as unfaithful to the girl as Al would ever get. And they talked, like they used to, and Ed slowly overcame to overwhelmingness of his love to hold a decent conversation with his brother, eye contact with no fear of self-betrayal. It was invigorating; it felt a little like living.

One subject Edward never brought up was Al's relationship with Julie. After the first time, he realized it just hurt too much to mention it, and so, he did not. There were much more interesting, neutral things to discuss anyway, such things as Winry's wedding, already being planned, or the tenuous relationship between Hawkeye and Mustang, who, despite their obvious feelings, were still not "physically involved." That detail Edward got from Havoc one evening at dinner, something Ed didn't really care about, but still amusing nonetheless, considering Roy's reputation.

One afternoon about two weeks since that first incidental meeting, Edward and Al sat in a cozy booth in the restaurant of a prominent hotel in the heart of Central. If Edward had cared to notice, he would have remembered that for one night, he had taken up residence there. But he was too mesmerized by Alphonse to notice anything but him. They were engaged in deep conversation when Alphonse grew quiet suddenly. Edward leaned forward, would have reached out his hand if had had the guts, and asked what was wrong.

Al sighed. "Well, Ed, I love hanging out with you, especially after not seeing you for the past few years. But why don't you ever call me at home? I don't know your number, but I know you have mine. I was just wondering if you liked talking with me, or if you're just doing this to be kind."

"Alphonse, I, um, I've been trying to call your house for the past month or so, but you keep hanging up on me," Ed said.

From the puzzled expression on Al's face, Edward knew something more was up. "You did? I never knew. You sure the connection wasn't bad?"

"No, because I always managed to announce myself before I heard the click of the other end. Maybe..." Ed didn't say it, because that would be spiteful.

Al shook his head in disbelief. "Julie? But why would she hang up on you? That doesn't sound like her at all."

"Well, Al..." Edward glanced down at his half eaten sandwich. Suddenly he remembered that day some weeks ago when he lost his temper, the gossip about Julie that he hadn't really thought on since then. "Maybe you don't know everything about her, and maybe some things you think uncharacteristic are who she really is."

Al frowned. "What? Ed, you're speaking in code."

"Yes, I know." Ed smiled sadly at his brother. "Perhaps I want you to find out for yourself. Perhaps I don't want to ruin your relationship." Which was a lie. This was the opening he had so longly anticipated. Even though he knew there was much more than Julie in the way of Al's heart.

Al shrugged. "Maybe she's mistaken you for someone else," he said, still not wanting to believe that Julie would hang up on him on purpose.

Ed smiled widely, perversely. "I think she doesn't like me," he said.

"Why wouldn't she like you Edward?" Al, innocently, asked.

Ed shrugged. "I don't know, Al. Just a feeling." He didn't say it was because he disgusted her.

"Well, what do you mean, Ed?"

Edward glanced into his brother's eyes. She was using Al, right? To write a novel on his brother. Alphonse ought to know that. And the other thing, whether it was true or not..."I...don't trust her. I think she's using you, Alphonse."

Al shook his head. "No, Julie wouldn't. She really likes me, for me."

"Well, I've heard that she's a 'man hater' Al. That she can't stand men in general."

Alphonse laughed. "Oh, Edward, you think I haven't heard that silly rumor? That's just because Julie has high standards and won't date just anyone. She explained that as her uncle's niece, she has a responsibility to not blemish his good name, and so only certain people are good enough for her."

Ed grit his teeth. "Okay, I admit that's only a rumor and that you really can't trust other people's gossip, but do you know what her profession is? She's a journalist, isn't she?"

Al frowned, annoyed. "I...I think so..."

"And what's her specialty? Does her connections with the military make her the perfect correspondent for the news into the military's inner workings, the people to know?" Edward smirked, his face lit up with cruelty. "Don't you think it's odd how eager she was to get to know me? To find out all about me and become such great friends?"

Al's eyes widened up in obstinate disbelief. "I don't believe you, Edward. I can't understand your insistence in hating Julie, nor why you want me to mistrust her too. You may be my brother, Ed, but I trust Julie too. She wouldn't use me like that." Al stood up from the table and strode away from Ed.

"Wait!" Ed jumped up and ran after him. "Alphonse, please wait!" Al pretended not to hear Ed; they were halfway through the restaurant's bar now, Ed desperately following his brother. "Alphonse!"

"So that's Alphonse," a smooth, warm voice said, stopping Ed in his tracks. Turning, Edward saw the blonde from Rush Valley. Caleb? He couldn't remember, nor could he care less. "I can understand why you're chasing after him. He's quite a catch." Caleb glanced at Edward, a friendly smile on his face. "Hello again Edward. Was that another lover's quarrel?"

"You again," Ed said. "What do you want?"

Caleb shrugged. "Nothing. Just happened to notice that your Alphonse stomped out of here looking rather angry, and you following behind him like a lost puppy." Caleb winked. "Your Alphonse sure is fine, I wouldn't mind to have a piece of that." And then, to Edward's horror, Caleb licked his lips with a long red tongue. "Hey, if you two are into threesomes, I'm up to it any day."

Edward glared fire bolts at the young man. "Don't you dare talk about my brother like that!" he shouted too loudly.

Caleb's eyes were wide. "Your...brother?" he gasped.

Edward's golden orbs were as large as shocked plates as they stared at Caleb for a horror-stricken second, before Edward fled from the bar in haste and shame.

Alphonse, despite himself, found he could not forget Edward's accusing words. Julie would never use him like that, but why would Ed say that? He had to have a reason, and looking out for his brother's feelings was certainly one of them, but shouldn't he let Al make some of his own mistakes? He wasn't a child anymore.

Ah. That was why Edward had upset him so much. It didn't bother him so much that Ed was looking out for him as it made al feel…young. But he was grown-up! Heck, he was more mature than Ed was, in some ways. Much calmer too. He hated when Ed treated him like a child, like someone who couldn't see the bad in people, didn't want to see that and therefore was like one blind.

After dinner that night, Alphonse and Julie curled up together in front of a gently roaring fire. Al thought and thought and thought on Ed's words, and finally could no longer take it, his own bursting curiosity. "Julie, I've been wondering…"

Julie glanced up through her bright hair, nearly golden from the fire's gold. Like Edward's hair, only softer, sweeter. "Yes, Alphonse?"

"…well, um, have you written anything lately?"

"No, I haven't." Her verdant eyes blinked in wonder. "Why?"

"Today at lunch, Edward told me that…well, he seemed to think that you could have ulterior motives for dating me." Al found himself unable to look Julie in the eye as he said this, a question of trust.

Julie sat up from her comfortable lounging by al's side, her wild hair like rage flaming around her face. "You saw Ed at lunch?" she whispered, her voice terse.

Alphonse didn't notice the roughness in her voice for what it was, taking it instead that she was offended. "Yes, but don't worry Julie! I told Ed that there was no way you would use me like that!"

Julie remained still a moment more before sinking down next to Al again. "But of course I wouldn't, Alphonse. What reason would I have to use you? Anyway, I wouldn't listen to anything Mr. Edward says. He's just jealous, you know."

Al glanced down at the girl leaning against him. "Jealous?"

"Yes. He does not like that you have found love so quickly while he has not. It irritates him to see you happy."

"You think so?" Al asked with a frown.

Julie leaned up and brought Alphonse into a long, tender kiss. As she pulled back, she smiled softly. "Trust me, Alphonse."

"I…do."

The next morning, Edward barged into Roy's office and placed his hands firmly on the edge of the desk, his eyes narrowed into thin slits. "Colonel, I request that you give me something to do that will get me out of Central, please!"

Roy, bleary-eyed, blinked up at the young man. "Why so eager to leave, FullMetal?" he asked with a yawn.

Edward turned his head away, the glare softening with something that resembled sorrow. "I just need to get out of this place. I…was always better when traveling."

Roy frowned. "Edward, please sit down," he said at last. "I can't think with you hovering over me like that."

"Sorry," Ed mumbled as he sat down in one of the seats on the other side of the desk.

Roy turned his seat to face the window and Ed scowled at the man's back. "I told you last week I don't have anything for you. And I also remember saying that when I did, I'd let you know." Ry turned back around and raised an eyebrow, the only sign of sarcasm on his face. "Please correct me if I'm wrong, FullMetal."

Ed let his head fall a little; his next words came out in a whisper. "Then let me go on a vacation, anything, but please let me leave Central." It was the closest thing to pleading Roy had ever seen from Edward.

Leaning his arms on the desk, Roy's eyes softened. "Edward, you just got back from a vacation. Besides, I need you to stay in town in case something comes up where you'll be needed." Edward sighed. "I'm sorry."

Edward stood and walked towards the open door. "I understand, Colonel. I'll be back next week."

Roy stood just as Edward began to leave. "FullMetal, just one second please." Ed paused on the threshold and glanced over his shoulder toward Mustang. His eyes were like amber coals, smoldering with some uncertain, tenuous emotion.

"What is it, sir?"

"Why do you want to leave so badly?"

Ed's spine stiffened. "Are you asking as my commanding officer or-"

"As your friend, Edward. You don't have to answer, but if something is bothering you, I would like to help."

"No one can help me, but…"Ed said with a slight frown. He stood in the doorway, contemplation deep in the thin wrinkles of his forehead. Then he closed the door and returned to the chair across from Mustang. Roy, seeing Edward sit back down, seated himself as well.

"The reason I want to leave Central is…is…" Edward pouted when words would not come, as though they had vanished like smoke from the tip of his tongue. "It's complicated," he muttered, visibly frustrated.

"Take all the time you need, Ed. I'm surprised that you're actually trying to tell me at all," said Roy, an understanding smile on his face.

Edward glanced down at the gloved hand resting on his knee and clenched the cold fingers into a fist. Stupid, he thought, that I'm thinking of telling someone! No, no one must know, bad enough that Julie's planning on telling the world soon enough. Edward stood up and walked back to the door.

"Edward? What-"

Ed glanced back at Roy, a haunting look in his eyes. "I'm sorry Colonel. You'll understand eventually."

"Understand what?" Edward's hand was on the doorknob, slowly pushing it open.

"You should read my biography Roy. Comes out in a few months. I hear it's gonna be good." Ed smirked, then slipped out the door.

"…how come he gets a biography? He's just a little pipsqueak compared to me!"

Despite Julie's smooth assurances by the fire, Alphonse spent the whole of the following day teetering between his two loyalties- that to his brother, and that to his lover. Edward, no doubt, knew Al better and would always have his brother's interest at heart; he would have no reason to manipulate him. Meanwhile, Julie could have ulterior motives; she might be only out for herself. But then what was the point in trusting someone if you always looked for the bad? However, if Julie was in the right, then Edward was wrong, and despite Al's initial reaction in the restaurant, he really wasn't sure whom he trusted more.

Though to say that Edward's suspicions had not crossed Al's mind would be an enormous falsehood. He too once had doubts in Julie.

If only Ed and Julie could be friends, as great as what Julie had once proclaimed she wanted to be! Then Edward would see just how wonderful Julie was and learn to love her as Al did. Only, not quite as much. And then there would be no doubts, and they could be one happy family, and Alphonse would have nothing left to worry about.

That evening, Al returned home earlier than usual, the circuit of doubts throwing his concentration askew. Determined to go home and lay to rest once ad for all his questions, of Julie's loyalty, of Ed's supposed jealousy, Alphonse strode purposefully inside the darkened corridor. This was unexpected, as Julie was usually home with dinner in the oven or on the table, and her smiling face ready to greet him with a welcome kiss. But the silence and shadows were strangely ominous in a way Al could not describe.

Venturing further within, Al glanced into their bedroom, to see if Julie had taken a nap, perhaps, but she was not there. And a look outside the window showed Alphonse an empty backyard. Alphonse seated himself on the edge of their bed and rested his elbows on his knees, his head in his hands. Gazing around the dark room, Al seemed unsure of what to do now, his determination from before deflating into the quiet. Perhaps his reasoning was foolish, that for one t be right the other had to be wrong. Could it be that Ed was right in worrying, just as Julie was right that the rumors were unfounded? Perhaps the only one wrong was Alphonse himself, for which he needed to apologize to both of them. Alphonse stood up to call Edward then, or at least, find out from the Colonel how he could contact Ed; he would apologize to Julie when she returned home.

But just as Alphonse was leaving the room, he spied on the desk in the corner a tiny brown leather bound book, old and heavy with words. It resembled the note that Edward used to use back when they had traveled together, the 'travelogue' which to Alphonse was ever only that. Picking it up, though, Al recognized the scrawling cursive of Julie's pen, and curiosity compelled him to read the tiny fancy words inside. Hadn't she told him that she wasn't working on anything? Ad this was not her diary; that much was certain, or else it would be locked

Alphonse sat in the dark and read, the only light coming from the curtained window in the corner, and the words he read shook the world.

Jealous? Yes, Julie was right, Edward had been jealous, if what she wrote was true. If it was true that Edward...loved him. Loved him. That sent shivers down his spine, for he knew this was the black and white truth of it. Jealous, jealousy...yes, a thousand times true.

For the words in the note brought to Al's mind Edward- blushing, eyes turned away, embarrassment, shrugging out of hugs and always those eyes turned away from Alphonse's eyes, because Al used to think that light in them was simply a reflection of a lamp, of the sun, of something other than a feeling inside, an inner fire lit for him. And Alphonse, who used to know his brother so well, realized the jealousy he must have felt and understood Ed again.

And he realized the pain he caused his brother, and began to shake with sorrow and hopelessness.

When Julie came home that evening, she was surprised to find the front door unlocked, and even more so to see Al's boots in the hall. But when she entered the kitchen to make dinner, she was not surprised to see Al sitting at the table, waiting for her. Only the expression on his face was one she could never have imagined on his face, and that was what told her this was real.

And then she saw the notebook in his hand, dangling from his fingers like a delicate, horrible, withered flower.

"Alphonse," Julie said, freezing in the doorway. "Have you been reading my research log?"

Al lifted his hand and waved the book in his hand. "You mean this?" he asked, his voice cool, demeaning. "Yeah, I did."

Julie frowned, not sure what to say. "So, what are you going to do?"

Al stood up and walked slowly towards her, his eyes fighting to be fierce, but only coming out in the dim light as hurt. "You used me," he whispered. "Didn't you? You just pretended to love me so you could write your book."

Julie gazed into Al's glassy eyes, her own hard as rust. "Maybe I did, maybe not. Maybe things just worked out that way. But you never believed what anyone told you about me; so why are you starting now?"

"Because these words prove it, Julie!" Al shook the book in her face. "You say it, right here, in your very words!" Al threw the note to the floor and looked away from her hard eyes. "And to think I called my brother a liar."

Julie, suddenly aware that she could actually lose Al because of this, a thought that had not, until this moment, caused her pain, suddenly burnt inside her chest like an angry dragon. Gripping his arms with a fierce fear, she yelled into Al's turned-away face. "You think your brother's so pure, that he doesn't have an agenda of his own? You read my notes, you ought to know that he only said that to get me out of the way, so he could have you all to himself!" Julie shook Al's body, limp with emotion. "I told him, when I found out his vile lust for you, that I would never let him see you again! He knew that and so told you those vicious things about me so that you would take sides, and choose him! He wants you all for himself, that's what he wrote, and I told him that I would never let him have you!"

"You think I'm that low, Julie?" Al lashed out and threw her away from him, slamming her into the wall. "I love my brother, that's true, and if it comes to choosing between him and a girl, I will always put my family first. But just because I choose Edward does not mean I love him like that. And Edward loves me enough not to interfere with my feelings, or force me to love him like that." Tears were forming small lines down Al's face as he shook and spoke. "Julie, you were trying to find the true FullMetal Alchemist, but you didn't even realize that. Edward is so distraught over losing my body once, he would never do anything to me again...Even at the cost of his own happiness? How could you not discover that about him?"

Alphonse bent down and picked up the forgotten notebook.

Julie made a step forward, her hand outstretched. "Alphonse, I-" she said.

Al shook his head. "No, I don't care what you have to say. I don't want an apology, I just want you out." Julie let out a sob that she had tried to keep in. Al glanced up and smiled weakly. "I told you, I'd choose him over you. Now I want you to gather your things and leave." Al turned and walked into the living room, where Julie heard him start up a fire in the fireplace.

Julie hesitated in the kitchen for a moment, then went quickly to Al's room and packed the few clothes she had placed in the closet beside his slacks. She paused in the gloom, took in one final glance, then returned to the living room, where Al was waiting.

He sat in one of the chairs near the fire, which glowed softly on his handsome face. Julie let her bag fall on the threshold as she stepped closer to him. Cradled in his hand was her note.

"Um, Alphonse, are you going to return that to me?"

Al glanced down at his hand. "No, because you are not going to write that book. Therefore, you have no need of this." And with one last contemplative look, he tossed it in the fire.

"Oh!" Julie jumped as did the sparks on the log immersed in the flames leapt up, then embraced the word-heavy pages. Turning away, she said, "Then that's all. Farewell, Alphonse."

Al nodded, but said nothing, and so Julie left out the front door, leaving her keys nestled in one of his shoes by the door. And she was gone, and there was silence.

Chapter Five- The one that will not close

So, I promised a "nicer" chapter and I'm not sure I delivered. If anything, this is more depressing that last chapter, which at least had the Havoc/Fury and Roy/Riza humor. But there are some positive things about this chapter, such as Al dumped Julie! Now, I know he didn't kill her, but at least she is gone and Al has seen what a- go on, you know she is- what a bitch she really is. Of course, now Alphonse knows Edward is in love with him. That might not be a bad thing, though, ne? As for Al's remark that he would never love Edward as Ed loves him...clearly Al is unaware of my intentions. But he shall discover that later on in the story. By the way! This is the halfway point, so I'm pretty sure everything goes uphill from here! Only four/five chapters left to go! Until next time- Rowan

P.S. There was one thing I had thought would happen in this chapter that ended up changing right at the last minute. Can you guess which scene I'm talking about and what I originally intended? I'll give you a cookie and a more speedy update if you do!

P.P.S. Longest chapter yet! 6,000 words! Woot! And thank you for all the support for this story from everyone! You are all the greatest ever!