Disclaimer: Rowan can only draw Edward's left eye. And that's on a good day.
AC (Author's Claim): The OC in this chapter belongs to me, got it? Kenneth Morgan is my character! Yay, some things here are totally and completely mine!
Note: I couldn't wait for tomorrow, so this is up (well, six days late, but...) on a Monday! And, uh, this is the last official chapter of Darling! There will be an epilogue, but that...well, that is exactly what it sounds like, an epilogue. Tying up the loose ends, following through any story lines that remain, etc. But this, my friends, is what you have been really waiting for! The conclusion to this chaos! Will Alphonse realize he's in love with Edward? Will this end happily? Read on and find out! As always, Enjoy!
Darling
Chapter Nine- Kesenai tsumi wa itamu kedo
By the time Edward returned home, Alphonse was already there, in the kitchen cooking breakfast. Ed smiled; on the counter there were two plates, one for each of them. His stomach growled as the pleasant aroma of eggs and bacon reached his nose, reminding him that neither of them had eaten yet. What a morning, he thought as he pulled out a chair at the table and sat down, though the thought was both amused and slightly bitter, recalling how quickly Alphonse had rushed off at the mention of...well, what did Ed expect? He was in love with her, wasn't he? Edward scowled and, shaking his head, discarded the thought.
Al turned his back on the stove and smiled softly at Ed, though his grey eyes were full of an inscrutable emotion. "Hey Edward. Where did you run off to?"
Edward bit back the retort that Alphonse ran off first, instead saying, "Oh, Mustang dragged me to his home. He's still trying to get me laid, so he had the 'brilliant' idea to ask Hawkeye's advice."
Al nodded, but his mind was off somewhere else and Edward turned his eyes down to the table, noticing this. "Hn," Al grunted unintelligibly, then turned back to the stove. Ed began familiarizing himself with the grainy pattern of the wood beneath his nose when a plate full of food was thrust under his face. Glancing up, Ed saw Alphonse pulling out his own chair and sitting down across from him. They exchanged a glance, then began to eat in silence.
Halfway through Ed's eggs, however, Al stood up suddenly and left the room, to the confusion of his brother. He returned a minute later, a bunch of envelopes in his hand. At Edward's questioning gaze, he explained. "We got a letter from Winry today...and a rather late wedding invitation."
"Oh? How late?"
Al sat back down and pulled out the letter from Winry. "About six months late, according to this. And that's not too good, either, because her wedding's in two weeks."
"What!" Ed exclaimed. Al passed him the crumbled invitation and Ed scanned it quickly. "What took it so long to get here?"
Al shrugged. "I guess it got lost in the post. Looks rather beat up, doesn't it?" Ed nodded in assent. "The letter is recent, though. Here, there's something in there for you." Al handed Ed the letter and their fingers brushed in the exchange. Ed pretended to ignore the sharp shock that passed between them.
Edward found the part quickly, at the top of the second page.
Anyway, what I am really writing this letter for is a favor. Edward, would you give me away at the wedding? I mean, walk me down the aisle. You see, the two of you are like family- no, you are my family and I want you to be part of the ceremony. Also, Kenny wouldn't let you be his best man. I can't understand why, but that's okay, because I really want you to give me away to Kenneth. Of course, you don't have to, but if you do- and I really hope you do- just come down here as quick as you can. For the fittings and the rehearsal and such and because Alphonse has to meet Kenny! We've got your room ready, so you both better get down here in time for the wedding...or else...
Edward glanced up, his face wide with surprise. "Did I read right?" he asked. Al grinned at him and nodded. "Wow..." Ed blushed with pleasure. Yes, Winry could be cute sometimes, he thought. "She really wants me to give her away? That's..."And Edward felt the most grown-up he ever felt in his life, to have the responsibility of giving away his "sister"...despite the fact that it was Kenneth, who wasn't really all that bad, Edward admitted to himself.
He shook his head yet again in disbelief. "But…" he muttered, a smile teasing at the corner of his mouth.
"So, are you going to do it?" Al asked, though his eyes twinkled with mirth. He knew the answer even before Ed nodded his head and replied with a dazed, "Yes."
Al grinned. "Excellent. When do we leave?"
Ed glanced up, his eyebrows raised. Al waved the wrinkled invitation in his face.
"Oh…shit."
The country blurred together in a rush as the train sped through, pushing towards Resembool. They left that afternoon and as Alphonse watched the landscape flash past, he thought what a long day this had been. He glanced across to his brother on the seat in front of him and smiled when their eyes met, though when Ed turned back to the window, Al's face grew solemn, disquieted, unsure.
To think, Al mused, that this morning I woke up to Edward in my bed. Al shook his head at the image that flashed into his mind; the peace, the beauty of his brother as he slept. The sun creeping quietly into the room to stroke his smooth face and brighten his golden bangs. It was a warming image to Alphonse, causing little tingles in his toes and shivers up his spine.
And then, Julie. Julie, carrying his child. Julie facing humiliation for him. Because she loved him- but why? Alphonse peered over to the other one who loved him- like that- and wondered why. What was so great about him, to be loved so much? He was nothing- no one- too special. Alphonse was modest, but he was looking through the wrong eyes. It would be the same for Edward, who would never understand how Al could love him so much.
Al sat up straighter, his cheeks burning. Oh, did he just think that? Alphonse glanced quickly over at Edward, deciding that…that…to say something so he wouldn't have to deal with this now. Maybe he was embarrassed to think this. Maybe he was afraid that it was true.
Or maybe, he already knew the answer, just a scratch away, and he was drawing his trembling hand away before he could peel back the veil covering the reality he was trying, for one moment more, to conceal. From himself, from Edward, and from convention's sake.
"Edward," he said, his voice soft, beckoning. A call jealous of the window and the blurring trees. "I…there's something I have to tell you. About…Julie."
The look on his brother's face revealed his reluctance to hear what Al had to say. But curiosity and love battled over his initial instinct of repulsion. "Yes, Alphonse?"
"The baby- my child- well…" But Al's resolve faltered at the wounded expression that cast a darkness in Ed's bright yellow eyes. "Julie said that maybe we could raise him, once the baby is born."
"What?"
Alphonse smiled. "She said that, financially, the child would have a better life with…us."
Edward pressed his back to seat. "You mean you, right?" he corrected, too amazed to believe it of Julie, almost thinking that it had to have been Al's idea.
"No," said Al. "She very specifically said 'us'. You and me, brother. What do you think?"
But the news was just too astonishing; Edward didn't know what he thought. It would almost be like the child he could never have, he thought, the one he could never give Alphonse. But…he would only be the child's uncle, and Alphonse would establish that Julie was his mother. Julie would be a part of their lives forever, and that would bring Al pain. What would happen if Julie got married and wanted the child back? She would have more claim over the child than they, unless…unless Alphonse married first and…and…and that was a train of thought he would rather not follow. Though had Edward known that those words spoken without inhibitions were beating in Al's heart, the ones that said "I will never marry," Edward might have been better comforted. But how could he know, when not even Alphonse truly understood?
Al frowned. He had been sure that Edward would rejoice at this news. Well, of course there was the fact that it was Julie's child too, but he didn't love Julie, so why should he worry about that? Al leaned forward. "Edward?" he said, not thinking in the moment he reached out his hand and placed it on Ed's knee.
Immediately, Edward drew his leg out from beneath Al's hand, his face blushing. "Oh, that would be interesting, I suppose," he said at last. Al's face fell. Deep down, he had counted on Edward's excitement, as though his reaction would dictate what Alphonse felt about the proposal. Al turned his face inward, towards the center of the train. They had the car to themselves; through the windows on the other side, the sun was beginning to set.
"I wonder," Edward said suddenly, dragging Al's attention back to his brother. "What would you name the child, if you could?"
Alphonse blinked in surprise. "I…I hadn't thought of that. I guess, if it's a boy I'd name him Edward, but…" Al caught the happy blush on his brother's cheek at that. Edward laughed when he caught Al's eyes upon him.
"Don't you have imagination, brother?" he joked. "Why Edward? That's so obvious."
Al pouted, but mockingly. He knew Ed was just teasing him. "Well, if you had to choose a name, what would it be?"
Ed tapped his chin in thought, then turned his eyes to Al. They sparkled with memories. "If I had to choose a name…I would name my daughter Nina Alexandra. And a son would be…Alphonse Maes Elric."
Al snorted. "What was that about being imaginative?"
"Hey, I'm naming him after Hughes."
Al smiled. "Yeah, and me too."
Ed's face grew red. "...well, I like that name, that's why."
Their eyes met, gold in grey and there was something unsaid that passed between them, an understood implication that it was more because Edward liked saying that name, thinking that name and...
"I like your name too," Al said, then broke the connection. They both looked out the window and a long silence passed between them, in which neither was sure if he was thinking anything in particular, or just trying to sift through a million emotions and tangled words mangled out of their proper order. Finally, though, Alphonse found some words to say and he broke the silence, not even sure why he did but for the tangible tension he was trying desperately to ignore.
"Nina Alexandra Elric, huh?" Edward sat up and looked over at Al from the corner of his eye. "That has a nice sound to it, doesn't it?"
"Yeah, I guess it does," Ed agreed, and this time when their eyes met the uncertainty in the air was dissipated by the memory of a darling little smile and a bouquet of magic flowers.
And outside, the world passed by and night crept closer to the horizon. Resembool grew closer with every heart beat.
When the train stopped at Resembool, it was already quite dark outside. But of the places to be left in the night, this was one place that they knew a warm meal and soft bed was waiting at the end of the black road. And sure enough, despite how late it was that they finally reached the Rockbell house, the porch light was still on and Pinako was standing outside with Den, enjoying a smoke on her pipe. As Edward and Alphonse stepped into the fringe of light cast by the lamp above her head, Pinako stepped forward and smirked at them. "You boys," she said, shaking her head. "Are you sure they have phones in that city?"
They climbed the stairs up to the porch and PInako nodded her head at the door. "Go ahead inside and make yourselves at home. I'll be in in a minute to cook you some supper."
They entered the house and found a gentle fire purring in the fireplace. On a sofa close to the sleepy flames sat, like a pair of cats, Kenneth with Winry curled up in his arms. At the sound of the door, they glanced up and Winry broke out in an elated smile. Jumping up with a squeal of glee, she lunged at them and caught each brother in a giant hug. "Edward! Alphonse! You're home!" she cried.
Al mirrored her smile as he hugged her in return. "It's good to see you," he said. Edward merely kissed Winry on the cheek and patted her on the shoulder. "Yeah, it's nice to see you again, Winry."
Winry beamed at them, then stepped back and looked them over, as though checking to make sure they were still the same boys she still remembered. Then she whirled around and pulled Kenneth off the couch. "Alphonse, meet Kenny! I've been so wanting you two to meet!"
Al took an instant liking to him and mentally approved him as the man in Winry's life. Though he could tell that Edward would never get along with Kenneth, simply because he had the gall to think he was good enough for Winry. It was a good thing then, Alphonse thought as he shook hands with Kenneth, that Winry asked Edward to walk her down the aisle in the wedding; that way, it was Ed who would have to give her away to him.
The four of them made their way into the dining room where they sat and talked. A year had passed since Edward had last been in that house and eons it seemed since Al's path had led him there. And though ever few months they wrote, there was so much that had to be said, had to be updated and that evening, over the late night meal that Pinako was more than happy to conjure up, seemed the perfect time to do it. Edward spoke of the military, work, and the marriage between Roy and Riza, which came as no surprise to Winry. "I always knew they would," she said with a smile. Alphonse discovered Kenneth's automail leg and then they all had to undergo his rendition of that fated hunting trip. Only Winry maintained her fascinated expression by the end of it; Edward was getting up from the table to get seconds which, by the time the tale was complete, he had gobbled up. He was nearly asleep in his chair; at least Alphonse had the decency to try to comment on the story at its conclusion. The only problem was he had zoned out during most of it. It was a valiant effort nonetheless and there is no doubt that Kenneth did not even notice.
Soon a lull fell in their conversation and Edward, who had been roused by a kick under the table from Al, was nodding off again. Alphonse felt his eyelids begin to droop and then Winry asked, "So, Al, what's new between you and, what's her name? Julie? How are you two nowadays?"
Edward sat up in his seat and Al's eyes snapped open. "Oh..." Al said. "We...broke up a while ago."
"Oh, I'm sorry," Winry said.
"Don't be!" Al said, standing suddenly. "I...I realize now that I didn't really love her back then, so I think it's for the best." Al was dreadfully aware of Edward's puzzled eyes on him.
"What happened, anyway?" Winry asked.
Al shrugged. "I don't really feel like going through the details, but let's just say she wasn't what I thought she was. No hard feelings on my part, really. At least, not anymore."
Edward was staring up at him with the most confused look in his eyes. But then, Al let out a huge yawn and Winry, noticing how tired the both of them were, sent them straight off to bed.
Minutes later, Alphonse rolled into bed beside Edward. There was only one bed for the both of them to share, the same they would have used when they were younger, so now that they were grown-up, it was a tight fit, but Edward was adamant about giving Al his space. To be fair, Al stuck to the edge anyway.
They lay in the dark and silence, two pair of eyes staring up at the ceiling. Just as Al began to drift down the river towards sleep, Edward permeated the mists of fatigue with a quiet whisper.
"Alphonse, did you mean that? You're not still upset about Julie?"
Al rolled his head to the side and studied the solemn profile of Ed's face, the eyes starting to fall shut, his bangs falling into his eyes. "I did mean that, Edward. I never loved Julie, I swear."
Edward let out a sigh. "But you did," he argued softly.
"I thought I did. There's a difference."
"I suppose." Ed's eyes slid shut and Al let out a deep breath, the emitted air teasing the blonde hairs of Ed's neck. The corner of his lips moved up in a tiny smile.
Minutes passed, or perhaps Alphonse had fallen asleep and the chill outside woke him up, but what felt like seconds later, he sat up to pull the converter onto the bed, kicked off earlier in the night before they fell asleep. As he sat up, he noticed the glint of a metal hand resting on Edward's pale stomach. Al shook his head and pulled the cover on top of both of them. Then he moved closer and whispered into Ed's ear. "Edward. Wake up. You're sleeping with your stomach out again." Ed's eyes opened reluctantly. "Brother, you're going to catch a cold sleeping like that."
Ed pouted. "It's comfortable," he said. "Besides, I haven't caught a cold yet, have I?" He settled his eyes shut again, preparing to return to sleep.
Al turned onto his back, his shoulder brushing Ed's soft shoulder. He hadn't thought of that before. And it was true, Edward had not caught a cold yet...Al pulled his shirt up a little and lay with his right hand resting on his stomach. He closed his eyes, but a moment later, sat back up. It wasn't comfortable, he thought, lying back down and tugging his shirt back down.
Then he had a thought and pulled his shirt up again. Blindly, he reached for Edward's hand, dragging it across his body and resting it on his cool skin. Al smiled at the touch.
Edward blinked awake, then saw his hand on Alphonse's bare stomach. He started to move it, but Al's hand moved up and held it to him. "No, leave it," he said. "You're right; it is comfortable." Edward stared down at his brother in disbelief then, smiling, fell back asleep. A moment later, Alphonse followed, strangely content with himself.
The next two weeks followed in a blur of tuxedo fittings and helping Winry in the final preparations and agonies of the wedding ceremony. When Edward told her that he would be honored to walk her down the aisle, Winry spun around with ecstatic joy and a glow of everything coming together lit up her face. The floral arrangements? All ordered and prepared just as she wanted. The wedding gown? When she received it from the dress maker in town, she slipped it on for Ed and Al to admire and Alphonse felt a lump in his throat, for she was so beautiful. The cake? Winry grinned wickedly and whispered that it was decadently chocolate. Neither really understood what it was about women and chocolate, so they just nodded and grinned. Everything was coming into place perfectly, but of course, something has to go wrong, and in Alphonse's eyes, they did.
A day before the wedding rehearsal, a call came from Central, Mustang to be exact, for Winry. At the time, she and Al had been sorting through the invitation RSVPs (Kenneth and Edward had left earlier that day to pick up the rings.) Pinako, in the kitchen making lunch, answered the phone, then poked her head in and told Winry she had a phone call. She stood and left the table. It only seemed a minute before she returned, her face white with rage.
"Alphonse," she whispered dangerously. "What is this I hear? You impregnated a woman in Central and now refuse to marry her?"
Al glanced up, a frown on his face. "Who told you that?" he asked.
"I just got a call from Mustang. He told me to pass the message on that she's staying at his house while they come out for the wedding and for you not to worry." Her voice was dangerous, and Al shrank in his seat.
"It's true; Julie's carrying my child. I only found out a few weeks ago." Alphonse made sure there weren't any nearby wrenches for Winry to throw at him. Certainly this did not sit well with her.
"So, are you going to marry her?" she asked, her voice cool.
Al hesitated. Now, that was something that hadn't really crossed his mind. He did not love Julie, and she knew that, and they would both be unhappy, so it never sounded to him like a solution to the problem. He shook his head. "I...don't love Julie. I did promise to help raise the child, but I cannot marry her. We would both be miserable."
"Alphonse," Winry said, sitting down. "Does she love you?"
Al looked down at the cards in his hands. "Yeah, she does. That's why I can't hurt her like that. Besides, we'd be miserable together. She...she thinks I'm in love with someone else."
"Oh. Who?" Winry's cold rage dissipated- the thought that Alphonse could be so cold-hearted and irresponsible had faded away with his words, and the obvious care he took in rejecting this woman reassured her.
Al shook his head. "Oh, it's silly. Not even worth mentioning," he said dismissively.
"So she's right?" Winry asked with a smile. Al's eyes widened and she giggled. "Oh, she was. Well, Al, tell me who she is!"
"I-I...it's no one, really, no one at all-" Alphonse stood to leave, growing very uncomfortable inside, because what if he said "Edward" and...and gave her the wrong idea? No, that would not do.
Winry frowned when he stood from the table, seeing how pale his face was and the beads of sweat on his forehead. "Alphonse, what's the matter? Why won't you tell me-"
"Hey everyone, we're back," Edward's voice suddenly broke through the house and Alphonse grew rigid at the sound, his eyes brightening, growing wide, happy...afraid.
Winry's eyes grew wide as well and she let out a little gasp. Al snapped his head around and realized that somehow she knew. How she figured it out so easily he did not know, but it must have been because she knew him so well. "No, no! That's not it! Winry-"
"You...Alphonse, tell me you're in love with Edward."
"I'm not! I swear I'm not!"
Winry stepped away, her face contorted, not sure what emotion she felt at this revelation. "The more you deny it, the more I know it's true. You are; you're in love with Ed. I...I don't know what to say."
"Don't say anything to Edward?" Al begged, mainly because how could Winry "see" something he wasn't sure he wanted to acknowledge was there? Better not let Edward hope- the mantra of his heart.
"No, I won't," she whispered. "That I can promise."
When, a minute later Edward and Kenneth walked into the room, Winry had managed to hide the multitude of her emotions inside and Alphonse, who was so shaken by what Winry was convinced was true, escaped from the room quickly, not able to look at Ed as he walked past because if he did his heart would have leapt out of his chest. And he wouldn't be able to say why.
They all met at the station early that morning, the day of the wedding. Colonel Mustang and Riza, Major Armstrong, Second Lieutenants Breda and Havoc, Sergeant Fury, and Falman. And there was the Hughes, Gracia and Elycia, and Sheska as well. All smiles and laughter and yawns, because it was dreadfully early in the morning and it was a wonder that Elycia was awake at all, but she was, so excited for the trip and the chance to see Winry again, who was to her like a big sister. And Riza found the women coddling her and eagerly feeling her round belly, giggling when they felt the baby's powerful kick. Gracia would then grow misty and remember a time when she was six months pregnant and Maes would coo and crow and worry over her and the baby, and just how proud she was to be carrying little Elycia and see her daddy strut about like the proud peacock he was. And Sheska would swoon and dream of her mister perfect- one of many heroes from her books, no doubt- and think on the day she too would bring a child into the world. And the three women would sigh, and Riza was content.
Finally, though, the train arrived and, because it was so early, the party got a car to themselves, to revel and laugh and sleep in as much and as lavishly as they pleased. Roy led Riza to their seats in the corner of the car which, granted, could have been softer, but were the perfect size for a cuddling couple. They sat across from Havoc and Fury, and Riza saw out of the corner of her eye how fast their clasped hands wrenched apart and how their eyes turned away from each other as she and Roy sat down opposite them. She did not say a word, merely leaned her head against Roy's shoulder and tried to sleep, as they waited for the train to leave the station.
Suddenly, the train jerked into motion, startling Riza just as she had begun to drift, and then she noticed the ill-hidden look of envy and longing on Fury's face, and she lifted her head from Roy's shoulder. He glanced over with a question on his face, but she smiled and he stopped worrying.
During the trip, Roy sat by the window, keeping his eyes mainly on the darkling trees and the rising sun peeking above them. Now and then, he would glance over at Riza and squeeze her hand, tearing her discreet gaze from Fury and Havoc. Roy wondered why she was watching them, but perhaps it was boredom. Or maybe she was just tired.
Across the aisle, the four could hear Sheska and Elycia reading a book together, and further down the car, Armstrong's boastful pride in his flawless physique. But between the four of them no words were passed until, finally, Riza spoke. "How long has this been going on, you two?" Her voice was authoritative, sharp, and for an instant Roy feared that when he turned his head he would not see his wife beside him but a Lieutenant. Luckily, when he turned around to throw her a puzzled look, she was still as pregnant as ever; there was no gun sling under her arm.
"What do you mean?" Havoc asked, feigning confusion.
Riza glared at him, obviously upset by...something. Roy, for the life of him, could not say what. "Havoc, you know what I mean. How long have the two of you been together and not told us?"
"Oh!" Fury gasped. "H-how'd you know?"
Havoc jumped at Fury's words, his face paler. Distracted, he pulled out a cigarette and struggled to light it, finally tossing it away when it refused to ignite. "Shit," he said as he slid the lighter back into his pocket. "What does it matter?" he said at last, with a wary glance at Hawkeye.
"I would have hoped you'd trust us more than that. Did you expect us to hate you if we found out?" Riza replied, quiet. Havoc and Fury were touched; Roy was outright amazed...wait, he thought. Does this mean Havoc and Fury are a couple?
Without ceremony, but with a blink of Riza's approving eyes, Havoc pulled Fury to his side and embraced his shoulders with a tender smile. "A year," he said. "We've been together for just over a year now."
Riza frowned and sighed. "A year too long. You could have told us before, instead of leaving it to us to figure out on our own."
"We're sorry for deceiving you," Fury said, bowing his head. "We were just afraid, that's all. What would people say?"
Riza glanced out the window, at the sun now climbing the ladder of clouds to the top of the sky. Her eyes were far away and her voice came as though from a great distance. "I would say that it's pure love and nothing so pure could possibly be dirty, so you should be proud of your love, because it's all that we have to protect us from the harshness of the world." She sighed. "Doesn't matter in what form that love comes, so long as it's true."
Havoc and Fury smiled at her and Roy, sure there was something beyond her words, some hidden thought guiding her words, stared quizzically down on her. But she merely smiled at him and it reassured him that, whatever it was she was thinking, he had no need to worry. So he grinned back and gently kissed her forehead.
Just as he pulled back, out of the opposite window he saw the station, and Resembool behind that. They had arrived.
Edward was...unnerved. For the past two days, Winry had been casting him strange looks and for some reason, Alphonse had been avoiding him. No, Edward was more than unnerved; he was scared. Had Winry, somehow, discovered his feelings for Alphonse? Was that why she was looking at him like that, as though she had some deep dark thing lurking within her which she both longed to unleash upon him and at the same time desperately needed to keep caged within her. Had she revealed her revelation to Al, though? Was Alphonse trying to prove to Winry that her suspicion- perhaps she thought they were...that the feeling was mutual- was wrong, that he, unlike Edward himself, was not made that way? It was lonesome, whatever was causing this distance, and Ed found himself more and more keeping company with Pinako and Den, for they threw him no strange glances.
However, by the end of the second day, the night before the wedding, Winry had begun to warm towards Ed again, giving him smiles and bright looks rather than her clouded, troubled eyes from before. That afternoon Kenneth had gone into town, as the old superstition dictated the bride and groom were not to see each other the day before the wedding, or else suffer bad luck in their marriage. The table felt empty that night as they sat to dinner, without Kenneth sitting with them, thought Winry's jitters and laughter by turn were more than enough to make up for the empty space. With dinner sitting warmly on the table, they all breathed a sigh in relief. The preparations were complete; everything was in place for the big day. It was as though they had finished climbing a mountain during the past two weeks and tomorrow they only had to slide down the other side; a cake walk, an yet, for some inexplicable reason, there was a weight in Ed's heart, as though he dreaded going down the other side. He couldn't say why that was, but he felt Pinako worded it best as, with her final bite she placed down her fork, she remarked, "It is strange. I've been cooking for the two of you for the past year and a half, and when you return from your honeymoon in a few weeks I will again. And yet, I know that it will be different; dinners with you and Ken will be different." She smiled at Winry. "Is it because, the next time you two sit down at this table, it will be as man and wife? Or is it because I really don't want you to grow up, and tomorrow I'll have to face the inevitable truth that you are?"
Winry smiled back, tears in her eyes. She reached down and hugged the old woman, whose eyes were dry and yet Ed was sure, inside, that her heart felt as heavy as his.
That night, Ed could not sleep, not even when Alphonse snuggled up beside him and placed his automail hand on his soft belly. Finally, he fell into a fitful doze where he dreamed of Winry in a white dress, her hand in the crook of his arm, and the words ringing in his ears, "I do." He woke up minutes before dawn and shuddered, his stomach full of butterflies.
The morning passed by in a flurry. Winry had to get into her dress, the whole female wedding party filling the house with giggles and a gaggle of gowns. Edward and Alphonse went to the house where Kenneth had passed the night. From there they went to the tailor and had put on their tuxedos, then went to the church where last minute decorations were being put up and the organist was practicing the wedding march to be played as Winry walked down the aisle. The butterflies intensified, but with a glance at Kenneth, Edward tried to quell their incessant fluttering. How he could look so cool, so confident, so sure at this moment, while Ed felt nearly sick...and he wasn't even the one getting married.
But eventually the frantic last-minute touches were complete and with a glance down the road, the dust cloud signaling Winry's approach brought a lull among those in the church. As they waited for the women to arrive, Winry and her bridesmaids, with Pinako cramped in the car with them, Kenneth stood by the altar, alone, and Ed could see in his self-assured eyes a twinge of shock, as though he could not believe that finally he was getting married. The other men in the wedding ceremony, men from town as well as Alphonse, and Edward with them, stood in the entrance, waiting for the women they were to escort down the aisle. Al was with Ed, off to the side, and he smiled at his brother, at the anxious look on his face.
"It's hard to believe, isn't it brother?" he said.
"Huh? What?"
Al grinned at him indulgently. "I said, it's hard to believe that Winry's actually getting married. I always thought she'd marry you, to be honest."
Ed laughed. "Are you kidding? I had hoped she'd choose you."
Alphonse cast him a questioning glance, but shook off Ed's words with a laugh of his own. "She would probably have to marry both of us, if she ever had to choose," he admitted.
"Which is why she's not marrying either of us, I suppose."
Al nodded. "Yeah..." He gazed down the road at the car approaching closer and closer. "It is hard to believe it, though. I mean, that we made it this far, that we...Edward, we're grown-up, aren't we?"
At those words, the butterflies increased. Ed nodded. Yes, that's why he was nervous, he realized. It was because, when he handed Winry off to Kenneth, he would be, in effect, leading her into adulthood. She would leave her childhood forever and, in a way, lead the way for him, too. And Alphonse, eventually. Winry was taking them out of their childhood, the time when it was just the three of them. She was moving on, moving past that and showing them to the next stage of life.
Edward glanced over at his beautiful brother. It wasn't so much nervousness for himself, he realized, but that Alphonse, too, would move to that next part and leave him behind. He, too, would find his life partner and leave Edward, forgotten, in his young memories. Ed had already found his love, but he feared the time when Alphonse would find his, too.
The butterflies rustled uncomfortably within him.
When the car pulled up to the church, Winry and the other women, all swishing around in light coral, spilled out and hurried inside to touch up their make-up and smooth out the cresses in their dresses. The church was filling up; Edward spotted Roy and Riza in the back, sitting with the rest of their military acquaintances. In front of him, Ed saw Elycia pull on Alphonse's coat tail and ask in her charming, youthful voice where her big sister was. Al smiled down (capturing his heart as always when he did that) and explained that Elycia would see Winry soon, but was at the moment very busy. Elycia thanked him and returned to her seat beside her mother, looking slightly disappointed, but still very eager to see Winry in her wedding gown.
And then all the guests were seated and the music began to play. The doors into the church shut and Edward was suddenly standing beside Winry. Her gown shone like a pearl plucked from the ocean and polished with care so that the sun herself sought it out as her mirror, to reflect her brilliant beauty off the equally beautiful, ivory-colored sphere. She smiled at the gaping expression in Edward's stunned eyes and demurely slipped her hand into Edward's proffered elbow, clutching tightly to the fabric covering his metal arm. Edward grinned shakily back at her and whispered, "Winry, are you happy?"
She nodded, her happiness radiating from her face, her smile, the way she wore her wedding gown, the way she leaned against him. "Yes, Edward, I am happy."
"Good." Ed slid her hand into his hand, holding her arm between his body and his automail limb. Gently, he squeezed her hand. "You look...beautiful," he said.
"Thank you."
Then, the doors opened and the train of bridesmaids and their escorts moved slowly in front of them, like a pink and black rainbow bridging the way to Kenneth. Step by slow step, Edward followed them, Winry by his side, where she would stay for only that moment, before he gave her to Kenneth to remain by his side forever. They were at the altar and, exchanging a fleeting glance, they were parted, and Edward found himself standing beside Alphonse. Kenneth gently took Winry's hand, his face set, but happily so, his dark eyes full of his bride's beauty. Collectively, everyone sank into their seats.
The only part of the ceremony Edward remembered afterwards was when the pair read their own vows to each other, words, they said, they wrote from their hearts. Edward believed them.
"It is you I love, Winry, you that I was made to love. You are the only sight I wish to see when I wake up each morning, and the only one I want to kiss each night. You are my crutch, you are my savior, you are my love, you are my life. You are my heart; you are the only one in my heart. Without you, I would die, and because of you, I live." Kenneth looked up to see tears in Winry's eyes. "And if ever I am unfaithful to you, I give you full permission to throw ten thousand wrenches at me," he concluded.
Out of the corner of his eye, Edward saw Alphonse smile at him. Turning his eyes a little, his met Al's and Al's smile widened. Edward wondered why there seemed to be laughter in those grey depths, why they seemed to whisper those words to him. Startled by it, Edward turned his eyes back to Winry, who now began to speak.
"I don't know the poetic way to say this, the way that touches hearts and brings tears to the eyes. But all I know is that I want my days to be filled by you; you inspire me, you make me smile, you fill my heart with happiness. I love you more than I knew I could love and I know that it will last forever. How long is forever? I cannot say, but I know that I want to grow old with you and, when we're old and grey, to have you by my side still. I think forever is long enough for that."
Again, Edward felt his brother's eyes on him, smiling at him. He looked up and found Alphonse looking at him, looking at him in an unbelievable way; Ed almost thought it was the same way Kenneth and Winry gazed at each other, as they leaned together and embraced, kissed lightly, sweetly, the quintessential kiss. But Alphonse did not lean forward, for which Ed was grateful, or else he might have leaned closer as well, and...
But then, the organ burst out in celebratory music, Winry and Kenneth ran down the aisle, leading the rest out of the church and to the town hall, where the reception was being held, and Edward did not get the chance to ask Al what that look meant, as they too were swept up into the melee.
Once at the reception, Edward was bombarded by familiar faces; soon after he entered the hall, he met up with Fury and Havoc, and soon after that Armstrong sought him out, his eyes overflowing the typical Armstrong emotional reaction to things happy or things tragic. Then Roy found Edward and dragged him over to see Riza, proclaiming her rounder than before (to which Edward had to agree). When Edward finally sat down at the bridal party's table, Elycia soon demanded they switch seats so that she could sit beside Winry and admire her big sister's gown. Ed found himself then at the table between Gracia and Sheska, however, though their company was enjoyable, he found himself constantly glancing back to Alphonse. Oh, discreetly, of course.
And then, the music played and the bride and groom had their first dance. Slowly, couples joined them on the floor, Roy and Riza, Fury ask stood up from his side of the table and asked to dance with Sheska (though his eyes were on Havoc the entire time), and Major Armstrong came around and danced with Gracia Hughes, and soon, Edward was alone at the table, watching everyone else dancing.
Sighing, Edward turned his gaze to the table, to Elycia's half-finished supper. The song ended, some people returned to their tables, and then someone was standing beside him, leaning over his shoulder. "Hello, Ed," Winry said. "Will you dance with me?"
Ed turned to his friend and smiled. "A dance with the bride, huh? You know, I'm not much of a dancer," he said, standing.
Winry grinned at him. "I know," she said. Ed took her hand and led her to the floor, awkwardly placing his hand on her waist, but she simply smiled and Edward relaxed.
"Edward, remember the last time we were at a wedding?"
Ed nodded. The first image that came to his mind was Alphonse abandoning him for a pretty face asking him for a dance. "Yes. I asked you to marry me, if, in four years, we were still single."
"That's right." Winry giggled. "You know, that was kind of silly, Edward. Four years, we were only twenty. That's pretty young to get married, don't you think?"
"I suppose..."
"So why did you do that, Edward? Why did you ask me that?"
Edward glanced down at his fumbling feet, heat creeping up his neck. "I suppose it was because I knew I'd never marry anyone else. It was only you, Winry," he said softly.
"But you don't love me like that, Edward." Winry bent her head to look into his eyes. "Ed? You don't, do you?"
Ed looked up and shook his head. "No, I don't. It's because the one I want...I can never have. That's why."
"Who is it, Edward? Can you tell me?"
Ed smiled and shook his head. "Don't let me ruin your big day, Winry. Trust me, you really don't want to know."
"You guys, the both of you," she muttered. "You don't trust me with anything, do you? I guess I should be used to it, but I'm not. I just think that you ought to tell me thinks, because some things need to be said."
Ed frowned. "What about Alphonse? What wouldn't he tell you?"
"He's in love with someone too, but he wouldn't tell me who." Winry turned her eyes on him, giving him that look again. "I only found out by a fluke."
Edward grasped Winry's hand tighter in his, and their steps had slowed to a simple moving back and forth. "Who?" he whispered, his voice dark. "Who is it?"
"Oh, Edward, I couldn't do that to you," she said, surprising Ed (she knows, he thought, there's no way she doesn't) and then the music ended and Winry kissed Ed on the cheek. "Thank you, Ed, for the dance. Thank you."
Ed dropped his hands and, though he was puzzled by her words, he smiled anyway. "Congratulations, Winry. You are...very happy?"
"Yes, Edward, very happy. I could only wish the same for you."
They kissed and parted and, though he knew Winry wished he would continue to dance, there was only one person Edward wanted to dance with. But Alphonse was nowhere to be seen as Edward returned to his table, and so he sat and sulked and tried not to look too unhappy, for fear someone would get the wrong idea.
The rest of the evening went by slowly, but eventually the cake was cut, the cake was devoured, Winry and Kenneth left for their honeymoon (Edward got up for that, to wish them farewell) and soon, the guests began to leave. It was then that Alphonse came over and joined Edward at the table, where Ed was pushing his cake around with his fork.
"Brother?" Alphonse said as he sat. "You're not dancing?"
Edward looked up into his brother's worried eyes. "No, I'm not."
"Why not? Don't you want to?"
Ed thought for a moment. "Nope."
"Oh...why?"
"There's no one I want to dance with."
Alphonse turned his face away, watching as the last of the guests left. They were alone, and the lights fell dim. The tall windows along the walls let the moonlight stream in; the room, in Al's opinion, looked romantic and mysterious. The shadows cast by the tables and the clouds passing through the moonlight seemed to be dancing with sin. Alphonse smiled.
"Edward, we're the last ones here," he said. In the natural lighting of the night, Ed looked older, his face stark, bleak, tragic.
"We should probably leave," Ed said, and started to get up.
"Wait," Al called, taking Ed's hand and staying his retreat. "I didn't dance either, except with Elycia. I only wanted to dance with you, Edward. Will you dance with me?"
Edward's gold eyes in the dark shone silver and surprised. "Alphonse? You want to dance with me?"
Alphonse smiled. "Yes, brother, if you please." Edward did not protest, almost too surprised to nod. Al drew him to the middle of the floor and wrapped his arms around his brother's neck. Uneasily, Edward wound his arms around Al's waist, pulling him close. They began to sway among the shadows, and Al dropped his head on Edward's chest. He jumped, but Al held tightly onto him, not letting him flee from him.
"Edward," Al whispered, "I've been thinking, for a while, about...things. About you, about love, about whether or not I could possibly...be in love with you. Julie seems to think so, and Winry thinks so too, but...I didn't know. I was too confused with my emotions, with the knowledge that you love me like that."
"Al...?"
His brother sighed against him, and Ed could feel his lungs expand. He suddenly became aware of Al's beating heart against his chest. "Today though, at the wedding, when Kenneth and Winry read their vows, I suddenly knew. I knew in my heart that I've always been in love with you. As I listened to them, I realized that everything they said I feel for you." Al lifted his head and stared into Edward's bright eyes. "I always envisioned us growing old together, brother. I always imagined that you would be by my side, forever and ever. I knew that if we ever parted...and when we did, those months and then when you finally came back...I don't feel complete without you, Ed. I don't want to ever be complete without you either."
"Alphonse?"
He smiled. "That's right, Ed. I love you. I am in love with you and I love you, I love you, I love you..." Ed cut him off abruptly with a kiss. That kiss turned into two, became a series of alternately desperate and tender, passionate and gentle kisses. Their eyes closed, arms wrapped firmly around each other, they spun and swayed together in the shadows of the hall, under the starlight and moonlight. When they parted at last, it was as though losing a part of themselves, as though unless they were one, they were incomplete.
Edward nuzzled his cheek against Al's cheek as he caught his breath. "Alphonse...I don't know what to say...I've loved you since forever it seems, I just never thought that you could love me too...never in my wildest dreams did I allow myself the hope that you'd return my feelings. I thought I was dirty, impure, and that it was my punishment to love you and never have you, but now..."
"I am yours, brother, only yours, forever. I don't care that people will say this isn't right." Al pulled back slightly to get a good look into Ed's eyes. "Because this is right, isn't it? It has to be right..."
"Does it matter, though? Right or wrong? Love is love and I...love you so much, Al." Edward tilted Al's head back and kissed him deeply, so that it was as though that kiss was a mingling of their souls rather than just a physical gratification of feelings that made their hearts beat fast and their minds race and reel. It was almost hard for them to imagine any kiss topping that one, but the next one after that was even better than that, and each one grew better and better, until it did not really matter and the kiss part was not important, but simply being one instead of two, of holding and loving each other with each breath they shared.
But when that kiss ended, and before the next one begun, Alphonse placed his lips over Edward's heart, smiled and whispered, "I love you too, brother. I love you..." And hearing those words beat every kiss they ever shared.
Chapter Nine- I still feel the pain of that indelible sin
...The last two paragraphs both end with "shared." I don't really care to change it though. I like how it ends...oh my god...it's basically over. I mean, there is the epilogue (and I am excited about a few of those things I have planned for it, too) but officially, the story is over. Edward got Alphonse in the end (you knew that was going to happen, right? I mean, c'mon! I'm not that cruel...) and Winry married Kenneth. This story has come full circle, beginning and ending in Resembool. Hmm...I like that, actually. It makes me proud of myself...well, something I wish to brag about- this chapter was 8,500 words long (not counting the beginning and ending comments.) Seriously. No wonder it took longer than usual. To be honest, I'm proud I stayed dedicated to this story. I really wanted to know how it would end, to tell the truth. I'm glad I took the time to find out. I want to thank everyone for sticking with this story and reviewing as well as you all have. It really makes my world go 'round, getting reviews for my stories. So thank you so much, all of you (but especially those people who reviewed every chapter. Those reviews made my day, y'know.) Oh, I'm getting emotional...well, I'll still see you in the epilogue, and after that's done, I'll return to Definition of Sin, and maybe start a new Elricest story as well (actually, if you want to look for that in a month or two, it's tentatively titled "Immoral Fires". I cannot wait to start writing it, too. Humor is expected.) Until the epilogue- Rowan