As Mr. Darcy advised, the ladies of Longbourn, as well as Mr. Collins, made their way home in the presence of Mr. Bingley. Anxious to return to Netherfield and await his friend, Mr. Bingley departed after the briefest of visits. Yet, Jane had no opportunity to speak with her sister alone.
Once Mr. Collins realized the Mr. Darcy they had just encountered was the nephew of his patroness, Lady Catherine de Bourgh, he could not be silenced. Mrs. Bennet managed to fill the few quiet spaces he allowed delighting in Mr. Bingley's attentions to Jane as well as his five thousand a year. Lydia and Kitty chattered on about Mr. Denny and the militia. These competing conversations made it almost impossible to get a word in. However, as if by unspoken accord, there was no mention of Mr. Wickham and whatever conflict existed between Mr. Wickham and Mr. Darcy.
Jane appreciated the fact the she need not engage in the conversation. It allowed her to ruminate on the events in the Meryton. Mr. Darcy's admiration of Elizabeth and his rage at Mr. Wickham's gave her much to consider. She was convinced that not only was there a private quarrel between the gentlemen, but the greater share of Mr. Darcy's disquiet was a result of Mr. Wickham's nearness to her sister. There was a protectiveness that was disproportionate to Elizabeth's claim that Mr. Darcy did not like her and looked at her only to find fault.
Upon retiring for the evening, she made her way to Elizabeth's room. Her visit was expected. Elizabeth, having prepared for bed, was sitting cross-legged, leaning against the headboard. Jane mirrored her sister's posture, taking her usual position at the end of the bed.
"Lizzy, what did you think of the new acquaintance we made today?" Jane asked.
"Mr. Wickham? I thought him very agreeable. Yet, I know him so very little my opinion of him is not yet firm. I do wonder what occurred for him to be the target of Mr. Darcy's ire. And Mr. Darcy seemed very agitated. Veiled though it may have been, he was obviously issuing a warning to Mr. Wickham. I doubt we will ever know what is between them." Elizabeth's words and expression were seemingly disinterested. However, she picked up a pillow and started to absently trace her own poor efforts of embroidery, a sure sign something was on her mind.
Jane was thoughtful. Coming from Elizabeth, this was a surprisingly passive and neutral response. Until that day, Elizabeth's feelings had not been repressed. It was well known how ardently she scorned and disliked Mr. Darcy. She had listened to Elizabeth criticize the man so frequently and vehemently that she could not account for it. Her curiosity was piqued.
"I thought you would have a stronger opinion of today's events and, particularly, Mr. Darcy's conduct. You do not believe Mr. Darcy arrogant and severe in his behavior to Mr. Wickham? Did you not find him officious?" Jane prompted, maintaining an expression of innocence.
"Not at all. The fact that Mr. Wickham offered no challenge and made a hasty retreat suggests he may not be all he appears on first acquaintance. How did Mr. Darcy phrase it? I fear Mr. Wickham may be a 'character of a questionable nature.' If that is the case, Mr. Darcy has done us a service." Elizabeth seemed uncomfortable speaking these words in defense of Mr. Darcy and Jane's suspicions continued to grow.
"It's obvious something very serious occurred between Mr. Darcy and Mr. Wickham. There is no love lost between the gentlemen. Whatever may have occurred, Mr. Darcy certainly took command of the situation." Jane was surprised to see her sister blush and a rather dreamy look came over Elizabeth's face.
"Lizzy? What is it?" Jane reached over to take Elizabeth's hand. After several minutes of silence, Jane became concerned. "Lizzy? Are you ill? Please talk to me. Shall I get Mama?" Jane moved to leave the room.
"NO!" Elizabeth almost shouted the word. Lowering her voice, "Jane, I am well. It's just…I…no, never mind. It is nothing."
"It is most certainly something. You will feel better if you share your burden. I fear you are quite unsettled. Lizzy, what is it that troubles you so?" Jane continued to stroke her Elizabeth's hand, trying to sooth her sister.
Elizabeth looked around the room as if to make sure nobody was listening. "The only reason I will…" She stopped herself and took a great gulp of air before she continued. "I find myself so at a loss. You are right, I must speak of it. However, if you ever repeat it, I will deny having ever done so. I am sure it's just an aberration, but I found myself…" Elizabeth faltered.
"Well, that's certainly an intriguing start. You found yourself what?"
"You know I have never sought Mr. Darcy's good opinion. Nor does he like me." If you only knew, Jane thought. "So, what I am about to say means nothing."
Jane nodded encouragingly. "Of course, Lizzy."
"In that moment, when he confronted Mr. Wickham, I found myself wildly, wildly attracted to Mr. Darcy. Oh, Jane, what does that say about me? No, this is just an aberration. It will pass." Elizabeth bent over and hid her face in a pillow.
"Just in that moment, Lizzy?" Obviously embarrassed, Elizabeth peeked at Jane from behind her pillow, surprised at Jane's question.
"Jane, you are laughing at me!" Elizabeth exclaimed.
"Oh, Lizzy, I am not laughing at you. In fact, I am trying very hard not to laugh." The glare Elizabeth leveled on her caused Jane's laughter burst forth. "I am sorry, Lizzy. But only you could be so contrary to think something is amiss to find an attractive man attractive. Is it really such cause for concern?"
Jane believed there was more to it. Elizabeth was clearly disturbed to think well of Mr. Darcy. However, now was not the time to unsettle her sister more than she already was. That would come soon enough.
"Jane, do you not see? It is that I found this particular man attractive that is so confounding. I can admit that Mr. Darcy is a handsome man. But his arrogant behavior, since the very first moment of our acquaintance, tempers that considerably, and renders him decidedly unattractive."
"Very well. I can understand how you might be disconcerted by this sudden attraction. So, what has inspired this, do you think?" Jane asked. She waited patiently as her sister gathered her thoughts.
"Mr. Darcy's reaction to Mr. Wickham was so decisive and commanding. You said it yourself. Mr. Darcy took command of the situation. I guess it impressed me. He, I mean, it was just so compelling." Elizabeth ignored the mirth still evident on Jane's face. "You have to admit that is not a something we are used to seeing. Papa, Sir William, Uncle Phillips, the other men in our lives, none of them are assertive. Uncle Gardiner is a dear, decent man but not what you would call forceful." Jane thought Elizabeth seemed determined to accept this explanation for her feelings. And once she did, she would try to convince herself they were fleeting and easy enough to dismiss.
Elizabeth continued, not giving Jane a chance to respond. "Ah, that must be it, Jane. It's a glimpse of something we have never experienced. I think it is that which attracts me. It is simply that Mr. Darcy is a man of attraction."
"Do you mean a man of action, Lizzy?" Jane knew she should not be as diverted as she was by her sister's discomposure. However, she had never seen her sister react to a man so.
"Arggh, Jane, what is this emotional treachery that has me thinking of Mr. Darcy in such a way!"
"Lizzy, you are being dramatic. As much as it amuses me," she laughed again as Elizabeth stuck out her tongue at her, "I think you are making too much of this. You have found something to admire in Mr. Darcy. That is all. I know a lady's imagination can be very rapid; it jumps from admiration to love, from love to matrimony, in a moment. But you are not such a lady. Nobody is suggesting you marry the man. But I do suggest you allow yourself to think on these new feelings for Mr. Darcy, without regret, rather than resist or deny the attraction. Perhaps, then, you may find some peace. Do you really think it so shameful to like Mr. Darcy?"
"I do not have feelings for Mr. Darcy, Jane. That would be absolutely insupportable. It will pass. It must."
Jane did not say anything in response to Elizabeth's declaration. She just hugged her sister and wished her a good night. Though she found humor in her sister's difficulty, she did sympathize with being unbalanced by conflicting thoughts. Had she not experienced such this very day?
"It will pass, Jane." Elizabeth said again, trying to convince herself. "It will pass. I am sure all I need is a good night's sleep and tomorrow morning everything will be as it was before. You will see."
Jane was glad to retire. It had been a long, tumultuous day. As she waited for sleep, she considered solutions to the problem of Mr. Collins. Her sister's confession helped her decide on a course of action. And tomorrow she hoped to engage a conspirator to aid her. She drifted off to sleep feeling better about the path she would take.
The next morning, she woke and prepared for the day with a sense of purpose. As she was passing Elizabeth's room, she heard movement from within. It promised to be a beautiful day, perfect for walking. Given their conversation last night, it was particularly surprisingly Elizabeth had not yet taken to nature in attempt to quiet her mind.
She knocked lightly on the door to Elizabeth's room and stuck her head in. Her sister was still lying in bed, awake, her arm thrown across her eyes, the bed clothes tangled about her. She obviously had a restless night. Jane could not help but smile. Lizzy is going to be stubborn about this, I know it.
"Good morning, Lizzy. That you are still abed inspires so many questions. Am I to assume it, in fact, did not pass?" She managed to shut the door quickly to avoid the pillow Elizabeth tossed at her. It seems her sister did not welcome levity this morning. Jane found it interesting that she should take on the role of teasing sister this morning. That was usually Elizabeth's role. Jane considered it a good sign, for today would be the day she would prove she could be just as bold as Elizabeth.