Let's Pretend

Intro: Otay! A lot has happened thus far! (smiles for both good and bad) First, I'd like to thank Miss Archer for clearing up my term problems. Kisses for you! Next, I'm not sure how that KKM fic made it into the Tsubasa realm… by any means. Third, Flame-Chan visited me! (happy happy) I have to say that I'm not impressed. Maybe Flame-Chan was just nice to me? Oh well. Lastly, I wanted to thank all of you who have reviewed! Please continue to do so!

A/N: This is lime, yes? Lime is where you don't describe the sex. I would have, but then I think it would have lost some of the meaning. So this is a lime with meaning within it. This fic is dedicated to YuriKitsune because she was horrified at my Fai-Dominant. (laughs) Please accept this until I write that lemon. (sighs)

"We don't love each other – I don't love you," he stated. He caressed blonde locks gently with his hands. The other just smiled. He pulled the slender figure deeper into his grasp, not wanting this sensation to leave him. His thoughts, pride, and conscious all left him. He was acted as to his instincts and so thus far in his life, they had not failed him, but stayed true.

A pale face finally made it's self to his ears. Pink lips whispered back their reply, "You're right. We're not in love." The two continued in their silent symphony, exploring one another's body as they had been every night. The other leaned back and gazed into those crimson eyes he loved so dearly. "But you're also wrong, Kuro-Myu."

He growled frustrated, deciding to flip the other over and skip the tease. They were both naked and Fai always gave himself into the ninja. His love-toy never made any sense of anything and prevailed to call him funny names while in their sex sessions. What their reason was couldn't farther from the truth, though. Their truth, as everyone knows, is that only so much pleasure could be attained by oneself. However, it wasn't just a sex session as they said – it was more of a love-making session.

It was the only time they were both honest to their desires and individual needs. They both could do whatever they wanted to do to the other without any objections. What bothered Fai was his conscious. Kurogane could kiss and make love to Fai without any second thought and think nothing of it in the morning. Fai however felt a different excitement from making love to the other. What he felt was more of a true love – one where he could feel and love the person he wanted to love so badly… Even if it was one-sided unrequited love.

Kurogane punished himself further into Fai, causing the mage to moan in pleasure. But the physical wasn't all that ran through his mind. Living for the moment was not something Fai was particularly good at. He thought about other things, the future, to be exact. At this moment, Fai couldn't help but think about their habits and process, though. There were millions of reasons he loved Kurogane. The sex was great and the ninja saw right through him and his façade. Although the raven-haired man himself didn't realize it, he made Fai feel like someone out there actually understood him and would love him knowing his faults.

It was just so frustrating. Feeling this way, Fai felt that even though the two had more in common than they'd care to accept, they were always going to be on different levels. What Fai wanted – what he needed – was Kurogane. All of Kurogane. But he could never have him.

Kurogane finished his brief toying with Fai. With Kurogane, it was always like that. He didn't like the teasing. His liked to skip everything and have the sex. It meant nothing to him. Afterwards, he would just reply, 'It was nice. It was sex.' The ninja had what could be called a short attention span when in bed. He now moved onto his next pleasure in 'toying' with Fai in a different way. Fai just smiled with that stoic, almost frowning, meaning behind his eyes. Fai let himself go and continued with his thoughts.

The next subject was, most bluntly, Kurogane. He was a ninja – a great ninja. A hot-headed blood-boiling inhuman being with his own world and life he wished so dearly to return to. So dearly he hoped that he had only left his world for minutes in his time. With people he knew and cared about waiting for him. And her. The princess he served. She was waiting for the return of her most beloved (?) ninja. His lover even told him once that he could never love Fai because he would only love his princess his whole life because feelings only got in the way of things.

Fai contrasted so much. He was a wizard. A magic-wielder who refused to use the one thing that made him the least bit valuable. He didn't want to return to his world and he tried hard to keep himself from being the burden he was. Fai was, in a single word, a fiasco to all mages anywhere. He ran away from his problems, he never looked on the bright side of anything, he attached onto things he knew he could never attain, and he drowned himself in his self-misery.

And then there was the Ashura problem.

Indeed, their differences were immense. At the core they were nothing alike. But they had their similarities as well. They both felt attracted to one another and through all their differences, they could understand one another. They were to one another a rebound. Rebounds that helped them confront their problems and forget their misery, hoping to latch onto something that helps them get through everything.

Fai stopped thinking. It was painful to imagine what similarities they had and much easier to believe that Kurogane hated him more than anything in the world. Fai's body collapsed. He couldn't keep supporting raven-haired man. That thought revealed some truth. The only thing he supported the least bit was Kurogane. If he couldn't be fixed because he was broken, he could at least save the ninja from the misery he felt.

He rolled onto his side as his breathing stabilized. Kurogane continued to love Fai, though. He was going to abuse the blonde until he was satisfied. They were both tired but the clean-cut man was gasping for air in between the harsh kisses he was molesting Fai with.

"What am I wrong about, Fai? You said I was right," he huskily stated. The blonde faltered and rolled onto his other side. The mage grasped himself into a ball and held himself there.

"We aren't in love. You don't love me. It's true. We're not in love. That's true, too. We're not in love with each other. That's only half right." The two stayed silent for a long period. Kurogane groaned and put his clothes back on, leaving the mage in the cold room alone.

He stood still before closing the door. "Let's pretend." And he left.

Fai smiled sincerely. He liked that idea. He imagined pretending that they were in love and that they meant what they felt. Reality followed and it was even sweeter. He enjoyed it so much he even started to believe in it. The world just seemed better that way. He felt safe in a hopeless period of his life. It like he was invincible to the rest of the world here in Kurogane's arms. He continued to tease the other, he continued to kiss the other, he continued to believe that he was loved.

Differences too great to outnumber the similarities never work out. They continued to pretend, they continued to make love to one another, they continued to deceive themselves. They paid their price. For their wishes to be granted, they had to give up them most precious belonging they had. What they gained was worth even more. But when you're tunneling into the abyss of life and drowning in your own feelings, lying to yourself, it kills anything you had or could have had. The day came where he left. The day came where he was honest to what he felt and could actually cry those silent, dry tears. But it was too late.

The day came where they never touched, kissed, or loved each other ever again. But it wasn't as if it mattered, right? They were only pretending, anyways.

Afterthoughts: Heavy stuff, ney? Well I think it came out pretty damn good! I don't usually do all the serious crap so I feel happy. (beams) Send me a review, won't you?