When in Love

Intro: W00t! Fic number twenty-five. (EDIT: Actually... This is my second twenty-fifth fic, so my numbering is all wrong as of here on.) Thank you very much to all who have read any of my fics and hugs to those who have decided to give me reviews! Please stay with me, I promise I'll become a better writer one day. (bows) The southern rock of 'Sweet Home Alabama' by Lynyrd Skynyrd is on. (smiles)

A/N: Kuro-Chan's not in denial. He knows very well that he loves Fai. He's just too…. Gah! Enjoy!

He was not in denial. It was no use. He could be in denial all he liked, but in the end it would serve no purpose. He was what he was and he couldn't change it. All his life, he relied on his willpower. That is something that had controlled his power. But the way he felt about Fai was not controlled by his willpower. The way he felt about the mage was controlled by his heart. And this was why he could never be in denial.

He used to be in denial, the very first time he was actually honest with himself, for example. No more, however. He could act like he hated Fai, but those small things that upheld his pride were gone. When he first met Fai, of course he thought the mage was a little bit pretty – and maybe a little attractive – but knew from the very beginning that he was annoying. 'Could you keep your insults down, Black-San?'

From there it only escalated. Once he knew Kurogane's name, he added those cute little endings. He had no respect for the ninja. He was loud, invaded his personal space, and would even steal kisses from him here and there. And the flirting! The mage flirted with him shamelessly! There were far too many times to even begin! Actually from the beginning when they introduced each other to one another in the Hanshin Republic… that's when everything started.

For the longest time, all Kurogane wanted was a little piece of silence. When that time came around it didn't suit him very well, though. It wasn't a silence from a taboo or an awkward position, it was just… silence. And it scared the Hell out of Kurogane for the first time in his life. He just wanted to fill that large gap with something. Everything, anything, just something to fill the silence.

He also respected others' wishes to keep their personal life to themselves. He never gave a damn about anything unless it involved violence or blood. Well, both, actually. Fai was the first person he just was on the edge with. He wanted to know who Fai really was. He wanted to know about his past, about his world, and why he was the way he was. Most of all, he wanted to know who made him that way so that he could beat the crap out of them.

That was another thing. Kurogane stayed out of other's problems. With Fai, he just couldn't stand by and watch him hurt himself even more than he was. He realized the broken doll that he was and he wanted to help the blonde as much as he could. He wanted the blonde to open up and tell him so that maybe he could find a way to fix him. He wanted, at core, to solve Fai's problems, seeing as the mage wouldn't solve them himself. Whenever the blonde had that hopeless expression in his face, he just wanted to caress him and assure him that everything was going to be okay.

Kurogane was never attracted to anyone in particular. He just didn't like people. With Fai, every time the mage flirted or gave even the least bit of his sensual or real self, his heart skipped a beat. Fai was the only person to ever make the stubborn ninja blush and he was also the only person who Kurogane had an urge to kill, but hadn't – yet. Or so he stated.

You see, Kurogane had no intention in interfering with anyone's wishes, but Fai's wish of dying in this pervert's – for all he knew – arms was just ridiculous. If Fai was going to die in anyone's arms, it was going to be Kurogane's. And that would only be if the mage was driving the ninja incredibly insane, because Fai already drove the other insane so a little push here and there was nothing. And he was most definitely the type of person to kill a person right there on the mark so this was incredibly forgiving of him, he reasoned.

Kurogane never had any bodily urges for anyone. No one. He had never wanted anyone, but when Fai looked at him with that look in his eyes he wanted the blonde more than anything else he had ever known. Kurogane was by no means a late bloomer. He had sex with other people. It was quick, though. It was in, it was out, and it was done. Sex with Fai was true love. He enjoyed himself, he enjoyed the other man, and he took his time.

Kurogane wasn't patient. He never learned that virtue. He was the man who took out his blade and did his job quickly. No words, no reasoning. Fai wasn't that type of person. He couldn't use his actions like he did with Fai because Fai was broken and never believed anything. He didn't believe words and he didn't believe actions. What he believed was the meaning and combination of actions and words together for the inner meaning to come out. For this to happen, patience was very much necessary. He was something you had to invest sweat and tears on for him to believe the most common thing – like that Kurogane loved him. Fai needed proof more than anything.

That annoyed Kurogane. No one ever defied Kurogane. His words were like law. As 'Princess Tomoyo's best ninja' he seemed to have developed this ego. His troop followed his commands with complete confidence in their captain. Fai didn't care what ego he had or who he was; he was the type who needed combinations to believe things. He needed words, he needed actions, and he needed assurance. Fai needed proof. This was something that the ninja was not used to. Everyone followed him like the scared idiots they were. But if Fai followed him around like a scared cat, he wouldn't even think anything of him.

Fai could run away all he liked, but there was something within that weakness that Kurogane couldn't help but lust after. The mage was weak mentally. Not in an intelligence level, but on a confidence level. The blonde was both strong physically and with his magic, yet he refused to do a thing. He only kept running away. He would charm a person and then crush whatever respect that person had for him. Fai was a self-destroyer. He was unpredictable, unusual, and like nothing Kurogane had ever known. That's probably where the attraction came from. If not for the differences, this relationship that he worked so hard to create would have been nothing. Kurogane loved Fai because he was the only thing he couldn't control or expect.

If Kurogane didn't love Fai, he would have never been caught doing half the things he did. Everything the blonde did had to have the most outrageous domino effect in return and yet he still put up with it. Anything he said to Fai the mage manipulated. Fai reasoned Kurogane's emotions without the least bit of his consent. If not for Fai, the ninja would never have said those three words. In fact, those sappy little words that create sentences would never have left Kurogane's mouth if not for Fai.

Fai was the only person who had the 'buts,' 'whys,' 'ands,' and 'stills.' He was a force that opposed everything Kurogane believed in. The only person the ninja would bend for was Fai. He just shrugged it off as the mage looked up and placed a slender hand on his cheek. The blonde smiled while calling him another silly name. Kurogane just thought to himself that he was the luckiest person on earth and that it was only natural to feel this was. Things just change, for the better or worse, whether you know it or not, when in love.

Afterthoughts: I don't think this was put together very well, but I may be wrong. Please review so I can check my process.