All the Elder Scrolls properties are under the Elder Scrolls (Bethesda) license; I'm still just borrowing.
The following piece of literature is a M'aiq the Liar production. The events are fictional…to this Khajiit's knowledge. This chapter is the end of this small series of ridiculous events.
Stuck on a Silt Strider with Strangers
Starring…the Nerevarine.
Also featuring…(in no particular order)…a Bosmer, a Dunmer, and an Argonian.
Celebrity guest appearance…M'aiq the Liar.
Post Prophecy Fulfillment
The Nerevarine is on a silt strider from Maar Gan to Khuul. Accompanying the Nerevarine on this ride is an Argonian man, a mysterious person in a hood, a Dunmer woman, and a Bosmer driver.
Bosmer: Hey! I know who you are!
Nerevarine: Oh yeah?
Bosmer: Yeah! You're in the Thieves Guild, right?
The Nerevarine coughs slightly.
Nerevarine: No, you, uh, have the wrong person, sorry.
Bosmer: Are you sure?
Nerevarine: Bosmer, just keep your attention on driving, please.
Bosmer: Oh, right…but I could have sworn—
Nerevarine: —No, no…
The Nerevarine pulls the Robe of the Hortator tighter. The Argonian turns to the Nerevarine.
Argonian: Do you want to hear a joke?
Nerevarine: Uh, I suppose so.
Argonian: Okay, why do Khajiit lick butt?
A hiss comes from the man in the hood. The Argonian appears worried.
Argonian: Uh, that is not what I meant to say.
He chuckles nervously.
M'aiq: The Argonian was let out of the plantation long enough for a ride on the silt strider, eh?
Argonian: You watch your tongue, Khajiit.
The Argonian stands up angrily.
Nerevarine: I would suggest sitting down…
Argonian: Silence! I will take care of this little kitty.
The Argonian goes to attack the Khajiit but the Dunmer woman pulls him down.
Dunmer: Wipes-With-Hand, sit down!
Argonian: Agh! Yes, master, but I thought we agreed you would not call me that in public!
Dunmer: I said when I felt like it; now be quiet!
Argonian: Yes master.
The Argonian sits and pouts.
Dunmer: I apologize for his misbehavior, good Khajiit. What is your name?
M'aiq: The Khajiit calls himself M'aiq.
Dunmer: I see. I am Llani Hlaalu, proud member of the Great House Hlaalu.
M'aiq: You are like all the rest, just talk, talk, talk.
Then, Dunmer turns to the Nerevarine.
Dunmer: Oh, and who are you?
Nerevarine: Oh, well, I'm the Nerevarine. I ended Dagoth's unholy and savage reign of blight and misery over Vvardenfell, you know, that Nerevarine.
Dunmer: Oh! The Nerevarine!
Bosmer: So Nerevarine was in the Thieves Guild?
Nerevarine: I was not in the Thieves Guild!
The Nerevarine subtly and nervously stuffs the Skeleton Key further in the Robe of the Hortator's inner pocket.
Dunmer: I wouldn't suppose. Tch, could anyone truly imagine a bunch of thieves starting a guild? Bah! Nonsense really…
Argonian: No, but a bunch of thieves did create a Great House...
Dunmer: Why you!
The Dunmer goes to beat him.
Argonian: I meant Telvanni!
The Dunmer glares at him but stops anyway.
Bosmer: The Telvanni are a bunch of thieves? I thought they were mages…
Nerevarine: If that Bosmer wasn't the driver, I'd push him off, I swear.
Bosmer: That's how my cousin died, actually. He fell off a strider just outside of Seyda Neen.
The Nerevarine's eyes widen.
Nerevarine: What a small world…
Bosmer: Ha, and my nephew almost fell off a strider just outside Vivec. He had to hang on while they went through a netch field, can you believe that?
Dunmer: I can believe it…
Nerevarine: This world is just too small.
Bosmer: Okay! We're here!
They get up to leave, but the Dunmer stops.
Dunmer: Hey, this is Gnisis! We were supposed to go to Khuul!
Bosmer: Uh…
Dunmer: You know what? I'm just going to get off now. Come on, Argonian.
Argonian: Coming, master.
They leave.
Bosmer: So be it! Well, I guess I should get you two to Khuul then. I'd hate to upset the Nerevarine!
Nerevarine: Yes, yes you would. Now, let's go.
The Bosmer chuckles nervously, and they start off towards Khuul.
Nerevarine: I have to be at Solstheim right away.
The Nerevarine turns to M'aiq.
Nerevarine: Have you been to Solstheim?
M'aiq: No, the Khajiit is not meant for cold. M'aiq is headed to Khuul in search of a Colovian fur helm.
Nerevarine: I see.
M'aiq: Perhaps the prey has with him some calipers for the Khajiit, eh?
Nerevarine: No, I'm afraid not.
M'aiq: Oh, alright…
There is another pause.
Nerevarine: You ever been to this part of Vvardenfell before?
M'aiq: Sure. M'aiq has seen much. The Khajiit has seen dragons. Has the human seen dragons?
Nerevarine: Uh, no, I haven't, but you've really seen a dragon?
M'aiq: Perhaps M'aiq has; perhaps he hasn't.
Nerevarine: Oh.
The Nerevarine sighs and looks around.
Nerevarine: You sure meet strange people in these things.
M'aiq: Strangers have the best candy…
M'aiq strokes a small bottle hidden in his robe, laughing at his joke.
Nerevarine: Uh, okay.
Bosmer: Hey! Is that bottle that illegal lunar candy stuff?
Nerevarine: Moon sugar?
Bosmer: Yeah! Is it? I don't want that on my strider.
M'aiq stuffs the bottle in his robe.
M'aiq: No, the Khajiit has no such thing.
They stop talking as they finally come to Khuul.
Nerevarine: Finally. By Azura, this ride was a lot longer than it needed to be. I'm glad to be going to Solstheim actually. There are no striders there to get caught up in and end up stuck with weird people.
Bosmer: (Darkly) Ah, Nerevarine, but there are boat rides.
The Nerevarine's eyes widen.
Nerevarine: Nooo!
The Bosmer chuckles evilly while the Nerevarine dashes out of Khuul, throwing some sort of a fit. M'aiq steps off calmly shaking his head.
M'aiq: Humans…