Scars

Intro: -AQUA, 'Doctor Jones'- This one is really long…random thoughts…

A/N: Wow… It's deep with too many loose strands… (blinks)

"Death is such a heavy matter. Death doesn't care about whom it finds or what the circumstances are. Death doesn't realize the pain inflicted on those who must suffer. Death hath no fury, as the saying goes.

"What about Life? Can Life smiles at the joy it brings? Can Life celebrate at the well-brought cheer it conjures? Can Life restore to those who have suffered Death? Life cannot, because it is not real. It is not a living thing – just like Death."

-O-

Two figures were locked – against their will – in a single room. The accommodations were quite different from anything else they had seen, but that wasn't the matter. A regular four-wall room had a window-wall on the right with a table and leather lazy chairs facing the outside environment. The left wall had a dark, four-post bed, with an assortment of non-matching blankets and sheets. A large painting of a man and a woman hung on the wall facing the north. The walls had cheap wallpaper which was falling off, compelling to gravity.

"What? No smiles or idealistic fantasy today?" the ninja mocked, both concerned and content with the unusual silence. "Where are the rainbows?"

"Kuro-Rin, you really don't know me as well as you'd like to think," Fai exhaled, annoyed that the future would probably hold more explaining than he'd care to. "It's not like I can smile when I feel bad."

"Really," Kurogane smirked, "then why have you been so happy up until now?"

"What exactly do you think I am? I'm not some heartless bastard that can kill without a doubt like Kuro-Chii." The mage sighed, slinking onto the bed. "I'm human with human emotions. I can feel pain and I can feel depressed. You don't have to worry about me. I'm an adult, too. I can handle my own problems."

The ninja gave what sound like an annoyed grunt. It's not like was worried about the damn idiot. He wasn't! He was just taking a break from memorizing the all-important cars in the parking lot in the order from which they came.

There the ninja sat, in the black, leather recliner looking outside the window. While the random raindrops would paste onto the window frequently, there was a separate building that held the large mechanisms. The rest of the world seemed to be one ever-green hill after another.

'Red, white, black, red, green, green, tan. Red, white, black, red, green, green, tan.'

The air was heavy with silence as if an invisible force was pushing down on the two. The bland grey walls looked duller than ever and the painting on the right wall seemed to have a crack in its frame that Kurogane never noticed.

'Red, white, black, red, green, green, tan. Red, white, black, red, green, green, tan.'

The grey clouds in the endless sky silently passed by with a spontaneous rumble here and there. Rain drops fell and consumed the earth, enrapturing all their regal beauty. Yet, the ninja could not feel that Fai was like that – a uniform raindrop that was supposed to be nothing more than an acquaintance destined to be broken by the airy man's own past.

"…We are what we are, Kuro-Chin. We can't change that," Fai remarked, now indulging himself in the thick, crimson sheets. Their checkered-board pattern contrasted against Fai's golden locks which seemed to be the only assuring fact that Fai was under the blanket.

The blonde's preppy cyan eyes were glazed over. Their normal brilliant shine was non-existent as if he was lost in a maze and couldn't find his way back. He smiled, chuckling to himself. It was… the same emotion as then, wasn't it?

"Well, I guess venting is the best thing to do; so spill," Kurogane stated stoically, attempting not blush. His gaze was fixed on the cars in the parking lot, still, pretending to memorize their order.

'Red, white, black, red, green, green, tan. Red, white, black, red, green, green, tan.'

"Kuro-Tin is going to listen to me? That's assuring, but…" as Fai's voice trail off, it felt hard for him to spit the words out. A feeling of pressure pushing down his throat overcame Fai, disabling him from speaking. "Has Kuro-Fan ever thought about what would happen if everyone told the truth?"

'Red, white, black, red, green, green, tan. Red, white, black, red, green, green, tan.'

"Everyone would be happy and we would have no problems," the blonde explained, inhaling deeply. He clenched his eyes shut, trying to let down the other as easy as possible, "of all the worlds we have visited, have you seen one like that?"

'Red, white, red, black, green, green, tan. Red, white, red, black, green, green, tan.'

"The truth is over-rated. No one wants to face the fact that doing to wrong thing is easier than doing the right and what they are doing is bad. People develop thoughts that they are doing what is deemed correct, political, or good."

'Red, black, white, red, green, green, tan. Red, black, white, red, green, green, tan.'

"…So you think what you've done is so bad that's it was the right thing to do?" the ninja finally concluded, feeling impressed that he could create such extreme, well-thought-out philosophies.

"No. I didn't do anything at all. It just reminds me a little. I can come to terms with everything… but I know other people can't," Fai corrected. Kurogane flinched; the ninja did not like to be corrected. "It's better this way…"

'Red, red, black, white, green, tan, green. Red, red, black, white, green, tan, green.'

"…I can understand. What's right is right and what's wrong is wrong. There's no grey in the middle," Kurogane choked out.

Fai's laughter pierced through the air. "Kuro-Yan! You have no idea! You're absolutely wrong! What about someone who kills another out of self-dense or the person who accidentally kills another? What about starting a war out of a misunderstanding?"

"Well, there wouldn't be any war if people didn't have any misunderstandings and that would put me out of a job," the black-clad man pouted, now averting his gaze from the cars. His mind was jumbled enough just concentrating on Fai.

"If we all told the truth and then listened to each other, all the problems would be solved," the blonde agreed. "But not all people are as good of listeners as Kurogane."

'Red, white, black, red, green, green, tan. Red, white, black, red, green, green, tan.'

A lingering silence filled the already uneasy air when the blonde threw all the covers off. The sheets fell onto the floor like spilt milk. The flaxen stretched his arms and back, inhaling just as deeply but calmer.

"That feels good!"

"What the Hell…?"

"It's a confession, Kuro-Ming! Thanks for listening, but this is something you wouldn't understand."

"That wasn't a confession! I'm only more confused!" Kurogane demanded, unaware of his furious blush, "I'm a good listener, you just said so. When… you want to talk about it, I'm here."

Fai chuckled.

"Does it really matter what the problem is? What do you intend on doing if and when you find out?" Fai's smile was already pasted back on, his smiles exterminated all doubt.

'Red, white, black, green, red, green, tan. Red, white, black, green, red, green, tan.'

For once, Kurogane was stumped. It was always Fai who could corner him in such ways. It was so annoying! "…Help you? I don't know. At least you wouldn't be so depressed!"

"I'm not depressed!" Fai wailed, flinging his arms into the air and then crashing them down on Kurogane's head, "I'm happy!"

'Red, white, black, red, green, green, tan. Red, white, black, red, green, green, tan.'

"If you can name three things you've honestly been happy about, maybe I can believe you," the ninja grunted, motioning for the mage to sit in the alternate seat.

"Only three, Kuro-Chan? Well, I'm happy that I was able to meet you, I'm happy that that you listen to me so well, and I'm happy that you won't ever cheat on me."

"Wait-! Cheat on you? We haven't – I don't know – why!"

"Well, cheating is a very serious issue. Kuro-Chin's so honest, though! I don't think I'll have to worry about that! That's why I'm happy!"

"I didn't say!"

"You don't need to, do you? The truth is in the air. This isn't a misunderstanding, is it? Or does Kuro-Nin have to start a war over his beautiful boyfriend now?"

"…Is this what you mean by, 'if and when?'"

Fai blinked, not breathing for a split-second, "What do you mean Kuro-Pon? Just leave it. You should concentrate on now, anyways."

"Why were you so depressed, anyways? Does death really scare you all that much?" Kurogane asked, a little dumb-founded in his question.

"I don't understand how people can deal with death every day. I guess I'll always admire, you, Kuro-Mai. Anyhow, the death people who're going to talk to us about our, 'life-in-shur-ence-re-port,' are going to be here soon. We still got a good thirteen minutes to kill in this dreadfully scary silence."

Kurogane grunted.

'Red, white, black… Does it really matter…? Screw that.'

-O-

"Death, Life, Truth, Lies… does any of it matter? Do things that aren't real play such a monopolizing role in our life? If I'm alive, does it matter if I want to be dead? Does it matter if that fact is a truth or a lie? Do these labels mean so much that I can't be myself? When I think about all these things, my head bursts and I'm no longer staying true to me. Wouldn't you say so, Ashura-O?"

Afterthoughts: Wow… I don't know what to say… I think I missed my point somewhere along the fic. Iono. Anyhow, the beginning and ending sequences were why Fai was so upset. Gimme a review! You've heard of the cookie monster (coughcoughthat'smecoughcough) but I'm the review monster. Give my cuteness a review now!