Ed's Stories:

Deodorant Mishap

PILLZ-ExXtheXxalchemist377: Second story already here! Edward has lost his arm, but while looking for it he stumbles upon Colonel Mustang's stash of TAG, and has some questions.

" ROY! Hey bastard, where are you!" Ed wandered around Easter Command, furiously looking for the Colonel. He was missing his auto-mail arm. He had lost it while he was taking a nap in the bathroom. (He had dropped dead from exhaustion from running from Winry, and the Men's room was the only safe place.)

" All I remember was that bastard Mustang was in there with me. He MUST of stolen my arm! I need it for…um…STUFF!" Edward screamed, running through the hall.

"BANZAI!" He screamed, breaking down Roy's door. He wasn't there.

" Crap. Now I have to search myself." Edward shook his head and kneeled before a dresser.

"Let's start at the bottom." He said, grinning maniacally, opening the first drawer.

He gasped and said,

" What the dolphin?"

(SORRY, RANDOM!)

Ed was staring at rows and rows of TAG.

" TAG! What? I have to ask Roy about this…" Ed said, shocked for some reason.

"Then by all means Fullmetal, ask away." Roy had shown up directly behind him.

Ed seized one of the TAG cans, held it up to Roy's face and screamed,

" Why do you have SO MUCH TAG? What is with these new spray-on deodorants!"

Roy snatched the can from Ed and replied,

" It all started when I was avoiding my paperwork by watching television. I then saw a commercial for this, and I NEEDED IT. Besides, your brother Alphonse took all of my regular roll on deodorant and all of the butter in Eastern Command."

" Why would Al need your deodorant and BUTTER for?" Ed asked puzzled.

" LOOK AT ME! I'M MADE OF BUTTER! HAND OVER ALL THE DEODORANT!"

Al ran past the room, slipping and sliding, caked with butter, deodorant sticks in hand. Ed cautiously looked out of the room and saw everyone at Eastern Command staring and Al as he slid out of the hall, screaming,

" Nii-san! I need more BUTTER! Here, I found this the toilet!" Al threw Ed's arm and hit him in the skull.

Edward stepped back in and reattached his arm. He said,

" Ooookaaay then…anyway, what is this TAG supposed to do for YOU?"

Roy held the can up to his chest and said,

"I'm not sure. Here, you try it out first."

He sprayed a thick mist all around Ed.

" Hey-cough cough not so much!" Edward said coughing.

"ED! OMG WE LOVE YOU EDWARD!"

Ed and Roy stared at the doorway shocked. Winry, Rose, Riza Hawkeye, Lust, Sloth and Envy we're all screaming and pushed their way into the room.

" EDWARD! Sleep with me you sexy beast!" They all shouted, tackling the now helpless Ed.

Roy shook his head and walked out of the room, ignoring Edward as he screamed,

" ROY YOU BASTARD! If I weren't being pummeled by all of these women, especially Winry and enjoying this, I'd kill you for my pain! Ah, WINRY! Don't take off your br-"

Roy put the door back up and stepped into the butter-drenched hall.

" So this is how TAG commercials end. No wonder all of these men purchase it. I still don't see what they need the butter for…"

PILLZ-ExXtheXxalchemist: Yeah I know. Kinda strange, but you have been warned!