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She Will Be Loved

Chapter 7: Changes

By Love Ink

To say Juice liked going to the Teller Morrow garage to work was not a total lie. He enjoyed being able to go somewhere and have people around. The actual mechanics and hang-arounds were nice enough, had been teaching him things about cars as they went and Gemma seemed happy to have him around to fix all the tech shit they had. It was the actual Sons he couldn't get to notice him. They treated him like he was invisible, and when they did deign to speak to him, it was usually to give him shit and call him an "idiot". They didn't take him seriously. Didn't see the potential he knew he had to be one of them. They just saw him as the goofy idiot who could do computer magic. That had to change.

He'd started bulking up first. Lifting weights to tone his muscles as best he could so at least they wouldn't call him 'scrawny' anymore. The only one who would remotely talk to him was Chibs, so he'd asked the Scot to help him learn how to box better. Chibs was kind enough to spend some time with him at Lumpy's boxing gym, coaching him through boxing techniques while simultaneously getting to know him. He was getting on Chibs' good side, thankfully, but he knew that wasn't enough. Chibs knew he could fight, but he'd also been telling him how hard it was to be a Son. How when shit went down and they were in the thick of it, there was no running away like the way he'd run from New York. Juice had to do something to convince them he was strong enough. That he wasn't some coward who ran away from his problems, and that he not only could look the part, but act it too.

Lying on Angela's bed in her old room, he tried to think of the best way to change his appearance quickly. He ran his fingers through his thick hair and frowned; no wonder they didn't have confidence in him, with all that hair he looked a hell of a lot younger than he really was. That's when an idea hit him. He knew just how to make himself stand out and look like a badass at the same time.

He got out of the bed, heading into the bathroom to see if there were any hair clippers. He'd learned how to cut his own hair at a young age, mostly because his Ma could never afford to pay for a barber. He'd saved up his own money to buy a nice pair of clippers, so he could cut his own hair whenever he wanted. Luckily, there was a pair of clippers tucked away in the back of a drawer surrounded by Angela's hair dryer and curlers. The curlers momentarily distracted him, though; he'd never seen Angela with curly hair and wondered how the style would look on her. She'd probably look beautiful. She always did. Shaking his head, he pushed those thoughts to the back of his mind and grabbed the clippers.

Thankfully, when he plugged them in, they turned on. His hand shook just a little as he looked from the clippers in his hand to his reflection in the mirror. This was going to be a big change, but he knew he had to do it. If he ever wanted to be offered a prospect cut, he had to get the members of SAMCRO to notice him. This could be the way to do it. Taking a deep breath, he put the clippers to his head and hoped for the best.

The next day at TM, he walked in with his head held high, his chest slightly puffed out, and shoulders squared. The hairless scalp on the sides of his freshly shaved mohawk made his head a little cooler than usual, but it didn't bother him much. Chibs was the first one to see him, and he wolf-whistled loudly, catching the rest of their attentions. "Look at that! Juicy-boy got a new haircut!" he called out over the garage.

"Wow," Jax drawled, smirking a bit as he shook his head.

"Check you out," Tig said on a laugh. "Least you don't look like a ten year old boy anymore!"

"And lookin' that way's dangerous around this one," Bobby teased, elbowing Tig playfully.

Tig made a show of rolling his eyes. "C'mon, Bobby. I draw the line at kids."

"Oh, so you do have a line!" Chibs chimed in with a big grin. He slapped Juice on the back, pulling him over to the car he was working on. "C'mon, Juicy. Could use your help over here."

Juice couldn't help but grin as he walked by the rest of the Sons. Tig reached out to rub his hand over the strip of hair on his head on the way by while the rest of the crew roared with laughter. Juice was just thankful they weren't laughing at him this time.

He listened as Chibs told him what to do, trying to decipher the guy's Scottish accent as best he could. The more time he spent with him, the easier it got, but damn, he wished there was a way to put subtitles on him sometimes.

"So I got a question for ye," Chibs stated, lifting his head from the engine. At Juice's grunt of acknowledgement, he asked, "What's Hap's cousin like?"

"Angela?" he asked, grunting as he tightened a screw.

Chibs shrugged a shoulder. "A girl cousin then, huh? Hap and Koz never say a word about 'er. What's she like?"

Juice didn't know how to answer that. Wasn't really sure what Chibs was looking for. "Oh um...she's uh...she's great," he answered casually.

"I imagine she's a bit on the strange side if she's related to Hap."

"Nah, she's cool. Pretty normal except she's studying mortuary science, but I guess someone has to do that shit, right?"

Chibs laughed, smacking his hand against the car as he did so. "Dead people? No shite! 'Course Happy's little cousin would be into dead people!"

Juice didn't know what he meant by that, but he knew better than to ask about club members without the information being offered. "Ha. Guess so."

"She got nice tits?"

Angela's body flashed through his mind making him lift his head a little too quickly, hitting the back of it on the hood of the car. "Ow. Shit," he exclaimed, rubbing at his head. "I um...I don't..."

"What? You never looked at the girl's tits? You swingin' for the other team or somethin'?"

"What? No! No, definitely not," he stammered shaking his head quickly. "I just...yeah, she's got a g-great body. Nice tits, great ass. She's...beautiful."

Chib grinned at him, waggling his eyebrows suggestively. "You two have a nice good romp, then?"

"Oh uh, no. No, we're just friends," he said, hanging his head a bit. "She's got a boyfriend 'n' its pretty serious. He's gonna be a lawyer, so..."

"Ah. Yer not worthy."

Juice let out a long breath, shrugging a little bit. It was something that had crossed his mind many times. While Angela and Raj had a solid relationship, he'd thought about what would happen if they broke up. Would she deign to even go on a real date with him? He and Raj were so different, he often thought she wouldn't. That he wasn't good enough for her. "Probably not," he said around a laugh. "Not a hard choice between a criminal and a lawyer."

"Nah. You treat a girl right, don't matter what your job is," he said on a shrug. " 'n' if she thinks you're not worthy, she ain't worth it."

He chuckled, shaking his head. "It ain't that. I mean, Hap's her cousin. She...she's used to the outlaw stuff. I think the reason she likes the dude she's with is 'cause he's different from that lifestyle. Like when snobby girls date bad boys to piss their parents off? She dates normal people to bug Hap."

Chibs smirked, nodding his head. "Rebellious little thing, huh?"

"Kinda?" he said on a laugh. "But in the best way possible. Has Hap and Koz wrapped around her finger from the sound of it. She's just a really good person. You'd like her. She'd keep you on your toes."

"Sounds like a good woman," he said with a little chuckle.

Juice nodded, smiling to himself. "She really is," he answered before looking back down at the engine. "Gotta call her. Haven't talked to her in like weeks."

"You going to tell her about your new look, then?"

He felt a little sick to his stomach for a moment; he hadn't thought about how Angela would react to his new hairstyle. What if she thought it was stupid? He could just imagine her teasing him about it, which made the stupid sick feeling subside a bit. "I dunno. We'll see. Maybe I'll just surprise her with it when she comes for Christmas."

"Might be wise." He gestured back to the engine. "You ready to learn somethin' new?"

"Hell yeah," he said with a big grin. "Teach me your ways, master."

Chibs laughed, slapping him on the back. "Careful who you say that to, boy-o. Might get you in trouble with Tiggy over there."

Angela watched Raj study from her seat on the couch. He was nose deep in his book, scratching away notes as he went, a strand of his slightly curly, black hair hanging in his face. His short beard and goatee looked a little scruffy, but she knew he took great care in making sure it stayed short and looked somewhat tame. He was handsome and so smart and just...patient with her. So patient. She loved him for that. Loved him for stepping outside of his comfort zone when she wanted to go dancing or on a day trip somewhere. Lino had been wrong when he said she didn't love him. She did. Quite a bit actually. "Rajah," she called out to him, catching his attention.

The smallest hint of a smirk turned up the corner of his mouth. "I am not a tiger," he replied, referencing the animated tiger from Aladdin of the same name. It was a response she often got from him when she called him by the nickname.

"You sure?" she asked, standing from the couch and walking over to him. She draped herself over his back, hugging him from behind and kissing his temple. "Cause after last night, I beg to differ," she purred in his ear, nipping at his earlobe.

He chuckled, leaning back into her and setting his large hand on her arms. "You, my love, are the best kind of distraction," he told her, tilting his head back to kiss her cheek. "But I have a big exam tomorrow, and I need to know this. All of this."

She smiled, kissing his cheek. "C'mon, Raj. Let's go out. Grab some dinner. You need to eat something."

"I will, I will," he said, patting her arms lovingly. "Just gotta study a little more."

Sighing, she dropped her arms from around him, trying not to pout. Lino's words about him livng his books more than her went through her head, but she quickly pushed them away; it wasn't Raj's fault he had midterms and she was done with hers. "All right."

He sighed too, turning in his chair and grabbing her hand. "Just give me the night to study, babe," he assured her, squeezing her hand lovingly before placing a kiss on top of it. "Then I'll be yours all weekend. I promise."

"That's what you said last week, and you ended up having to work at that internship all weekend," she reminded him with a roll of her eyes. She'd had a fun weekend trip to Manhattan planned. Had even gotten tickets to see Wicked since he loved musicals so much. She'd had to sell them last minute and had lost a good chunk of money in the process. "We haven't hung out outside of studying since Lino was here and that was almost a month ago."

He frowned a little, shaking his head. "I know, I know. I'm sorry," he murmured, kissing her knuckles again. "Damn, I wish Juice was around. He always kept you entertained."

Angela couldn't help but feel a little offended by his words. She wasn't high maintenance by any means; all she wanted was for him to take a small break for dinner. She didn't demand attention and often enjoyed the freedom Raj's busyness provided her. "I don't need to be entertained. I'm not some attention starved girl," she said, taking a step back. "Just wanted you to take a break."

"I didn't mean it like that. I was just...saying that when Juice was around, it seemed like you were a little less..."

"Needy?"

He held up his hands. "Your words, not mine."

Angela clenched her fists, taking in a deep breath and letting it out slowly. "Whatever. I'll just go home and take care of myself," she said, grabbing her bag off the couch.

"Angela, I'm sorry," he said, standing from his table and going to take her hands. "There's no need for a dramatic exit. Tonight's just not a good night for me."

"A dramatic exit," she repeated on a scoff. Surprisingly, she wasn't angry with him; in fact, she couldn't help but laugh. Leave it to Raj to call her on her bullshit. "Seriously?"

"Poor choice of words," he acknowledged, barely hiding a smile.

"Really though."

He grabbed her hand again, reaching his other hand out to tuck a stray hair behind her ear. "You know I love you. All of this studying and working is just because I want to make a better life for us. Buy you that Brownstone on the Upper East Side. Help you start your own mortuary while I start my own firm. It'll be perfect."

Angela smiled slightly at the thought. This wasn't the first time he'd included her in his plans for the future. Usually, his ideas gave her butterflies, but this time was different. This time, his plans only served to make her shoulders feel a little heavier as if his plans for the future were some kind of burden on her. The last time she'd felt that way was when she used to listen to her ex-boyfriend, Esai Alvarez, plan their lives together. Esai was Mayan Motorcycle Club's vice president and destined for the VP patch himself. He'd spin ideas of marrying her, settling down, and having her play housewife while he went out and played outlaw. It never felt right to her. Something always felt just...off. This time she had a feeling it had to do with Raj wanting her to stay in New York. She'd been telling her family and friends for years she was going to move back to California, but that wasn't in Raj's plan which made her feel guilty as hell. She didn't know whether she was lying to her family and friends or to Raj. "Right," she said on a breath. "That would be nice."

"I know," he said, leaning forward to kiss her forehead. "But I can't do that if I don't study and get good grades."

She rolled her eyes again. "Whatever, nerd," she said, kissing him quickly before pushing him away. "Go study. I'll make us some dinner and then you come up and eat it with me, okay? It's a compromise. You don't have to leave, and I get a few minutes with my boyfriend."

"Fair enough. I'll meet you up in your apartment in a moment," he promised, looking a little relieved their little spat hadn't turned into a big fight. "I love you, Ang."

She smiled softly, patting his cheek. "Love you too, Rajah."

She let him kiss her once more before walking out of his apartment and heading up the stairs to hers. The place felt empty as she stepped inside the living room. Her heart ached for some company. Someone to sit with her and play video games or watch movies. She missed Juice. Missed him more than she ever thought she would. Sitting down on the plush leather couch, she pulled out her phone to call the delivery pizza place down the block. She knew she'd told Raj she was going to make dinner, but she didn't really have the energy to actually do it. After placing their usual order, she stared at the little screen on her cell phone before punching in a set of numbers she knew well.

Juice answered on the first ring. "Angel! Hey! How's it going?"

Angela couldn't help the big smile that spread across her face at the sound of his voice. "Hey you. I'm good. Just sitting here bored. Figured I'd check in with you since its been a couple weeks. How are things?"

"I'm great! Your Ma and Aunt are taking great care of me. Think I gained like twenty pounds 'cause of them. And work at the garage is going well too! Think the guys are finally starting accept me," he explained, beginning to ramble and referring to different people and places she didn't know. She let him go on, though, happy just to listen to him talk. "And the weather here, Angel. You weren't kidding! Its amazing! Haven't been to the beach yet, but I'm hoping to go once summer hits. You guys still coming for Christmas next month?"

She sighed, glancing out the window at the orange colored leaves barely visible from her apartment. "I think so. Raj isn't sure if he can get out of his internship that week. Said he'd rather pay to fly them out here."

"But Elena's afraid of flyin'," he pointed out.

Angela wondered just how much her Aunt and Juice talked and what deep dark secrets Elena had told him about her. "Right," she said on a breath.

"Well, maybe you should come on your own then," he suggested.

She could practically see him shrugging in the cute way he did. She froze for a moment; had she just thought of Juice as cute? What the hell was wrong with her? Lino was getting in her head. "Maybe."

"Miss you, Angel. Your Ma and Aunt are great, but they make me sit through these Spanish TV shows, and I can't understand what they're saying. Would much rather sit and watch Real World with you."

She laughed, wishing the same thing. "You hate Real World."

His responding rough chuckle sent shivers down her spine. "I know, but at least I can understand it."

"I'm gonna hold you to that next time you give me shit for watching it," she told him, picking at a hole in her jeans. "But I miss you too. And Raj does too. Think he misses you most. Says he liked how you used to keep me entertained so he could study. Accused me of making a dramatic exit when I got pissed at him and went to leave."

He laughed again, louder this time. "You gotta be shitting me."

"Yeah, well I kinda was, but who says that shit? I mean...I'm not needy, right? I feel like I'm pretty low maintenance," she said, feeling a little self-conscious.

"Angel, you're like zero maintenance. Like, sometimes I wonder if you even like spending time with Raj. Seems like the only times you guys are alone together is in bed and shit. Rest of the time, y'all are out in groups."

"I do! Of course, I do! He's a great guy! The whole reason we fought is because I wanted to spend time with him!"

"Woah, woah, don't get all worked up! Just sayin'."

She raked a hand through her hair, hating how right he was. He was just reiterating what Raj had already said, and she kind of hated him for it. "We went out together just before you left, remember?"

"Yeah. You went to see Les Mis. Literally the longest musical. Again. Because all you two do as date nights is go to a quick dinner before a Broadway musical. Somethin' you don't talk during and just sit there holding hands and maybe talk about it afterwards before you go to sleep."

Angela frowned. "I do love him."

"I didn't say you didn't. Just think you don't necessarily like spending time with him. Like, if I was still there, would you have been buggin' him to hang out or would you just've left him alone and called me?"

She rolled her eyes, letting out a long sigh. "Probably called you. But that's what he would've wanted too."

"Shouldn't that tell you somethin'?"

"Sounds like you're tryin' to convince me to break up with him."

"Sounds like you're trying to convince yourself not to."

Angela scowled at that, feeling a little angry at him for being so blunt. "This wasn't what I called for."

"What did you call for?"

"I don't know, but I'm starting to regret it," she snapped before grimacing; she didn't want to be mad at Juice. It had been weeks since they'd last spoken, and she didn't want to fight. She let out a long breath, trying to calm herself. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean that. Can we just...talk about something else? How are you? You're liking the new gig, then? Everyone being nice?"

He chuckled, the sound of it making goosebumps rise up on her arms. "Its going well, I think. They treat me like shit, essentially, but at least I got friends, y'know? Better than sitting playing dominoes with your Aunt all day. They haven't really mentioned anythin' about prospectin' yet. I'm a little worried they're not gonna want me."

"Have you worked your computer magic yet? That shit's impressive. They'll want you for sure once they see that. All those old dudes don't know anything about the computer."

"Yeah. I'm just bidin' my time. Earnin' trust."

Angela frowned to herself; she honestly didn't want him to be a part of the club. He was too good for it. Too sweet. The club would ruin that sweet, goofy side of him she loved so much. "You don't have to prospect, Juice."

He was silent for a long moment before he sighed. "I want to. The club is like this big family. They take care of each other, and I like that shit. I don't got a family, so its kinda nice to think someone'll always have my back."

"I dunno. Look how well that worked out with the Ozone Crew."

"That was the mob. This is a motorcycle club."

"Yeah, an outlaw motorcycle club. You don't need that kind of family. You're too good for them."

Juice sighed heavily. "Whatever, Ang."

Angela could hear the annoyance in his voice and cringed; she hadn't meant to piss him off. "Juice..."

"Look, I gotta go. Got shit to do."

She recoiled from the phone at his harsh tone. "Okay."

"I'll call you later, all right?" he asked, in that same exasperated tone.

"Sure. Talk to you later," she replied, frowning as he said a quick 'bye' and hung up the phone. She sighed heavily, raking a hand through her hair. That had taken a turn for the worst and fast. She hated how things had ended and was tempted to call him back to apologize.

Taking her phone, she went to call him when it rang. It wasn't Juice's number that flashed across the screen though. It was Raj's. She answered, her stomach sinking a bit. She already knew he was calling to cancel. She listened to him for a moment before hanging up on him without letting him finish. She's been right. He had to go to campus for office hours and would probably just skip dinner.

She frowned, feeling lonelier than ever as she stared out the living room window. It was starting to get cold, forecasts of rain and snow started showing up in the news. She hoped they could go home for Christmas. She needed to go home. Needed to be away from the snow. She was tired of white Christmases; they were extremely overrated. Plus, without Juice there to do all the typical New York Christmas stuff with, it kind of lost its appeal. She had a feeling no matter how much she begged, Raj wouldn't have time to go ice skating with her or to see the big tree at Rockefeller Center.

She could go back without Raj, of course. But she wanted her family to meet him once and for all. Sure, Hap and Koz had met him in passing, but they didn't spend any time with him. She wanted them to get to know him, to like him. Taking Raj home would mean he was away from his books with no distractions. Her family and friends would see how he wasn't boring at all. There was no point in going without him.

Or at least, that's what she told herself. In reality, she knew deep down that if she went back home without Raj at her side to bring her back to New York, she wouldn't go back. She'd forget about school and stay in California with her family and friends...and Juice.

Angela's letting a bit of her bratty side show. She's frustrate and confused and a little sad, which makes her act out a little... ;)

Thanks for reading! Let me know what you think! 3

~Love Ink