Disclaimer: I own nothing but my own OCs and storylines…

She Will Be Loved

Chapter 15: Enough

By Love Ink

Vanessa started picking up papers from around Angela's apartment as Lino sat with Angela on the couch. She'd told Lino she didn't like Angela before, but she'd lied. In reality, she was scared of her. Growing up, Angela was one tough girl, and she carried herself as such. During high school, it was rare to see her smile unless she was with Esai, Lino, or Rosa. She had her walls up miles high, and it was hard to crack through them. Vanessa had been close friends with Angela's arch-enemy, Soledad, at that time, and Soli hated Angela with a passion. Mostly because she was jealous of Angela's relationship with Esai. Soli had wanted Esai badly, and she had done and said shitty things to the other girl in her attempts to get to him. Vanessa had tried to dissuade her against it, but Soli pushed on until Angela hit her breaking point and punched her, almost knocking her out. Ever since then, Vanessa had been a little scared of Angela and masked that fear with dislike. She was older now, though, and realized how stupid it had been to side with Soli throughout the years. Angela had never done anything wrong to her. According to Lino, Angela had always supported their relationship despite the crappy way she'd treated her throughout high school. Had even said she liked her for him! And Lino loved the girl like a sister. So much so that he up and left Oakland the second she needed him without thinking twice. Vanessa loved him for that.

Lino was holding tight to Angela in the couch listening to her as she sobbed. His hands rubbed over her back as he murmured comforting words to her. Vanessa's heart broke for Angela as she listens to the heart wrenching sobs.

Then, out of nowhere, Angela was pulling away and running to the bathroom, Lino close behind. She followed them slowly, not surprised to see Angela throwing up into the toilet. The empty alcohol bottles and smell of booze were evidence she'd been drinking. A lot. Vanessa was surprised the could even stand up. Lino sat behind Angela, his nose wrinkled, eyes shut as he rubbed her back. He was a great guy, an amazing boyfriend, but he was a chicken shit when it came to puke or blood. She honestly wouldn't be surprised if he started puking right along with Angela. Rolling her eyes at her boyfriend, she knelt down to gather Angela's hair out of her face and held it away.

Angela finished throwing up, spitting into the toilet before wiping her mouth on her sleeve. She looked up at her with red, bleary eyes, a confused expression on her face. "Nessa?" she asked, her voice hoarse. At Vanessa's nod, she furrowed her brows together. "But...you hate me."

"Nah. You're Lino's sister. How could I hate you?" she asked, rubbing her back as she tried to give her a comforting smile. As her hands moved over Angela's back, she could feel all the bones in her spine and her ribs. She was thin. Too thin. She wondered when was the last time she had eaten. "Lee, how 'bout you get her a glass of water?"

Lino was all too eager to get up and get out of there. Angela coughed a bit, sighing softly. " 'm sorry."

"Don't be. I grew up with five siblings. I know how to deal with puke," she murmured, pulling Angela's hair back into a ponytail. "You got a toothbrush or somethin'?"

Angela groaned, rubbing at her face as she nodded. "Somewhere over there."

Vanessa stood and walked over to the sink, grabbing the toothbrush sitting there and putting some toothpaste on it before handing it to her. "Brush."

She brushed her teeth slowly, spitting into the toilet. When she was done, she leaned her back against the bathtub with a groan. Her eyes slid closed, the toothbrush almost falling out of her hand and to the floor. Vanessa grabbed it quickly and moved it to the sink just as Lino came in with a glass of water. He had a hand over his face, blindly handing it to her. Vanessa chuckled, taking the glass from him. "She's done, stupid," she teased, smirking at him. She gave the glass to her and watched her gulp down the whole thing. She looked down at Angela, setting her hands on her hips. "When was the last time you ate or showered?"

Angela raked her hands through her hair, her head hanging down. "Dunno."

"Shower time," Lino said, squatting down so his face was even with Angela's. He grabbed the glass from her and handed it to Vanessa before holding a hand to Angela. "C'mon, chiqui. Lemme get you to your feet."

She groaned again, reluctantly getting to her feet and almost falling as she did so. "Fuckin' room's spinning," she murmured, going to grab the shower curtain and almost taking the whole thing down with her.

Lino caught her easily, offering her his arm. She got into the shower, still fully dressed, and practically fell over again. Sighing in frustration, he pulled off his pants and shirt, leaving on just his boxers. "C'mon, Ang. Let's get you cleaned up."

Vanessa should've felt jealous that her boyfriend was getting into the shower, half-clothed with another woman, but she didn't. She felt heartbroken for Angela. The girl was a complete mess, and Lino, bless his heart, was just being a good friend. She walked out of the bathroom, closing the door behind her.

Slowly, she walked around the apartment and starting picking things up. There were papers everywhere. Notebooks that looked as if they'd been pulled apart. She collected the papers, stacking them on the dinner table, nothing the neat handwriting on them. It looked as though they were notes on some law, which meant they weren't Angela's. Vanessa kept stacking them neatly. No way would she throw any of it away especially since she had a feeling a lot of them belonged to Angela's dead boyfriend.

She headed towards the kitchen, looking through the cabinets to see what kind of food she could make. There wasn't much there. Everything looked as though it was old and a little moldy. Wrinkling her nose, she started to clean out the expired food. She couldn't help Angela much as a friend, that was Lino's job, but she could sure as hell clean and cook. Writing a quick note to Lino, she grabbed her purse and headed outside as she dialed Marcus Alvarez's wife, Diana's, number. Dia had been close to Angela when they were growing up and had to know if there was some kind of food that would comfort her.

Vanessa had always seen Dia as an aunt, so calling her wouldn't be out of the ordinary. Since she was the oldest of six kids in her own family, her own mother often was too busy to talk, so Nessa often turned to Dia. Dia, having only one son, was thankful to have someone to mentor like a daughter. It was why she'd taken Angela under her wing so fast; Dia loved being a mother and often sought out those in desperate need of one to help. Vanessa was dreading telling her about Angela, though.

Dia answered on the second ring. "How is she?" she asked, her voice sounding a little desperate.

It took Vanessa a second to regain her composure; how could Dia already know? "Who?"

"Angela. Esai told me what happened and then your Mama told me you were going to see her! No lo puedo creer," Dia replied before letting out a sad sigh. "She must be a mess." (I can't believe it)

"Y-yeah. She's...not good." She had so many questions for her but also didn't want to waste time. If she was going to cook one of Dia's specialty dishes, it could take hours. "I um...it looks like she hasn't eaten in weeks, and I wanted to make her something really good pero I dunno what she likes."

"Pobrecita," Dia clucked before letting out a long sigh. "I'll give you my recipe for enchiladas and then e-mail you the other one for posole. She'll love both of those pero posole takes too long for right now. Make the enchiladas." (Poor thing)

Vanessa grinned and nodded. "Yes! Yeah! Good idea! I can do those!" she exclaimed, slightly relieved. She had those dishes down. "Thanks, Dia!"

"Good luck, mija. Call me if you need help!"

"Will do!" she chirped before hanging up. She found the nearest bodega, thankful to find everything she needed there. It took her a while to lug it all over to Angela's apartment, but she managed to do so without too much of a struggle.

When she opened the door, she found Lino sitting on the living room couch, head in his hands. He lifted his head when he heard her walk in, turning and almost jumping off the couch to grab the bags from her. "Holy shit, Ness! Call me next time! I woulda met you wherever and helped you bring everything up!"

Vanessa loved him so much for that. She knew it wasn't all talk either; he probably would've gone running to the bodega to help her carry shit. "It's good! I needed the exercise. How is she?"

"She kicked me outta the shower when she sobered up a bit. She was not happy I poured cold water on her," he said on a long sigh. "There wasn't...wasn't anything sexual about that, y'know. She just couldn't stand on her own and I didn't want her to slip and fall. She was wearing clothes like the whole time I was there. I swear, Ness. I didn't touch her."

"I know. I saw you get in with your clothes on, Lee," she told him with a warm smile. She knew why he felt the need to explain it to her, though; she'd been wildly jealous of Angela in the past. "I um...I'm sorry for being such a jealous bitch before. I got some poison poured in my ear, but I know how wrong that was now. Ang sees you as a brother, you see her as a sister. I get that. Think its 'cause you're both only children, so you found the sibling bond in each other. I was wrong to think otherwise."

Hope shone in Lino's dark eyes as he smiled at her. "I love you," he said, moving over and giving her a sweet kiss. "I love you so much."

A blush colored her cheeks as she stood on her toes to kiss him again. "Love you too."

His smile widened even more. "Good," he told her before turning to the kitchen counter. "All right. What are we cookin'?"

"Enchiladas," she answered with a grin. "Dia's recipe."

"Fuck yeah!" Lino exclaimed, pumping a fist into the air. "Tell me what to do, and I'll do it."

Vanessa stared at him in wonder as he started moving around the kitchen. She'd never once seen her father in the kitchen or heard her father offer to help cook. The most he did was throw things on the grill every now and then. Not Lino, though. He was used to having a single mother and helping her cook and clean. "Cut those tomatoes for me."

He grabbed them and saluted her. "At your service, mi amor." (My love.)

Angela stared at her reflection in the bathroom mirror, barely recognizing herself. She looked thin, unhealthily so. Her cheeks were sunken, eyes rimmed with dark circles. How had she let herself get to this point? In the past, she had judged grieving widows for letting themselves go when they lost their husbands; for looking as if they had died themselves at the funerals. She hadn't understood before. Not like she did now. She'd let her own grief consume her just like those women had. Never again would she judge them so harshly. Not when she knew what it felt like to lose someone she loved.

True, this wasn't her first experience with grief. She'd lost her father and her Uncle Chico when she was young, but it felt different than this. They'd been somewhat expected. Her father with his cancer, Chico with his heart attack. They were older men who died naturally. Not like Raj. Raj had been ripped away from her in a cruel accident. Closing her eyes, she shook her head as the image of the car hitting Raj flashed through her brain. "Stop," she said to herself, shaking her head.

Grabbing her hair brush, she pulled it through her hair, grimacing when it got caught on a large knot. How long had it been since she'd brushed her hair? Weeks, probably. She kept trying to brush it, cursing as the brush got stuck every time. Throwing the brush down, she opened up the medicine cabinet and grabbed a pair of scissors. Without a second thought, she cut off the knot and let the hair drop into the basin of the sink. She stared at the hair, her mind going back to a memory of Raj. He'd loved her hair. She could picture him lying in bed beside her, her head on his chest, one arm wrapped around her. His hand always found its way into her hair, long fingers twirling the strands around as he talked to her about his dreams and planned their future together.

A sob escaped her lips, a fresh wave of pain hitting her hard. Gripping the edge of the sink, she squeezed her eyes shut. "Enough," she told herself. She lifted her head, taking a deep breath, she looked herself in the eyes. "That is enough."

She splashed cold water in her face, drying it off and taking another deep breath. "You're gonna be okay," she said to her reflection and tried her best to smile. It came out shakily, but for some reason it gave her a bit of hope.

On shaky legs, she headed to her room for the first time since Raj died. The bed was unmade from the last time they'd both been in it. "You got this," she murmured, going to the dresser. She pulled open one of her drawers and grabbed a pair of Kozik's old SAMCRO sweats, one of Happy's old t-shirts, and Juice's sweatshirt. The smell of weed and Juice's cologne filled her senses, giving her a sense of calm she hadn't felt in a long time. It took a minute for guilt to set in. How could just the smell of Juice calm her down? Even now, after she lost Raj. After she lost Raj because of a fight she had about Juice no less! How could she feel like this? Shaking her head, she zipped up the hoodie and pulled the hood over her head. She had to let go of this guilt, or she was going to drown in it.

Slowly, she walked towards the kitchen, her stomach grumbling when the smell of enchiladas wafted to her nose. She actually felt hungry for the first time in days. Lino and Vanessa were working together in the kitchen, both of them smiling as they talked to each other. Seeing them made Angela's heart ache; she missed having someone to talk to like that.

As if sensing her presence, Lino turned and gave her a big grin. " 'ey! Look who decided to show up! Skeletor!"

"Paulino," Vanessa chastised, smacking his shoulder. "Como puedes decir esas cosas?" (How can you say those things?)

"What? She looks like a fuckin' skeleton. 's why we're cooking up a storm here," he said, gesturing to the mess around them. "Dia's enchiladas."

Angela smiled a little, pulling down the sleeves of her sweatshirt over her hands. "Smells good. Thank you."

"You don't look so bad," Vanessa said with a roll of her eyes. "He's exaggerating. Pero you do need to eat. You don't need to die just because he did. Sabes?" (You know?)

"And you say I'm harsh?" Lino scoffed, shaking his head. "Take your time, Angie. No one expects you to be okay."

Angela swallowed hard, shrugging a shoulder. "Yeah," she rasped, looking at the floor. "Thank you guys for comin'. I know it had to be expensive." Her phone buzzed in her pocket, and she looked down to see another text from Esai. "Did you guys...did you tell E about all this?"

"No," they said in unison. Lino's brows furrowed together in concern. "Why?"

" 'cause he's been texting me," she answered honestly. She wasn't about to tell him how good it'd felt to hear from him though. How much she'd needed his phone call when he'd called her. "Just was curious how he found out."

Vanessa looked a little surprised as well. "I had to tell my Dad. Maybe he told my Uncle who told Marcus who told E? You know the club boys love their chisme." (Gossip)

Angela nodded a bit; it made sense. Vanessa's family was filled with Mayans, and they all told each other everything. Nothing stayed secret for long with them. "Yeah, probably." She messed with her hoodie a bit, remembering the chunk of hair she'd cut off. "I um...Ness, are you still doing hair and stuff?"

"Yeah...why?"

She tugged down the hood, showing her what she'd done. It wasn't that bad, in all honesty, just a couple inches, but it made her look a little unbalanced. "Think you can even this craziness out?"

Lino's eyes were wide in shock, but Vanessa interrupted whatever exclamation he was going to make. She gave her a warm smile and nodded, stepping in front of her and measuring the shorter pieces against the longer ones. "Definitely. It'll be a little shorter than you're used to, pero I think you'd still be able to throw it up in a ponytail. I'll fix it. No problem."

"For a second there, I was worried you was gonna pull that hoodie off and be bald," Lino teased with a relieved smile. "This is nothin'. My girl will make you look gorgeous."

Angela couldn't help but smile at her best friend. She didn't know how he'd found out about what had happened, and she honestly, didn't want to ask. She was just grateful that he'd dropped everything to be there for her. Vanessa too. In a strange way, it was nice to have another female around. Her calmness and warmth was soothing and made Angela feel more relaxed. That, and she could cook. Angela remembered that from Mayan parties. Vanessa was just as skilled in the kitchen as Dia, and the idea of having comfort food was actually starting to make her hungry again. She let out a long shaky breath, remembering what she had told herself in the mirror just a few minutes before. Enough was enough. She knew it wasn't going to be easy, and some days would be better than others, but, with Lino and Vanessa there to support her, she knew she'd be able to stop wallowing in her pain and start living again. That's what Raj would've wanted after all.

Lino told Vanessa he'd watch the enchiladas while she went to fix Angela's hair. He'd been scared to death when he'd first walked in and saw Angela lying limply on the couch. For a moment, he thought she was dead. That they hadn't made it in time to save her from herself. He was trying to keep things light, but inside, he was worried as hell. Through all the years he'd known her, he'd never seen his friend like this. Angela had such a strong life force, it was scary to see her so weak.

Running a hand over his face, he sighed heavily. He was glad they'd gotten there when they did. Glad she'd been so open to accepting their help. He'd been afraid she would push them away or at least be too proud to let Vanessa see her in such a weakened state. To his surprise, she'd accepted both of them and seemed thankful they were there. Her actions were a testament to how lonely she was. How much she'd needed someone to lean on...which is why he was even more concerned about Esai texting her. She was vulnerable, lonely, and Esai would do anything to get back together with her, including taking advantage of her being so vulnerable to slide back into her life. It wasn't right.

He thought back to Juice and how worried he'd sounded when he'd called to tell him about Angela. Now that was the guy she should be with, but as far as he knew, Juice hadn't even reached out to her yet. That had to change. Grabbing his phone from his pocket, he found Juice's number and pressed 'call'.

Juice answered on the first ring. "Hey! How is she? Is everything okay?" he asked, blurting out all the questions, a sense of desperation in his voice.

"She's...not good," he replied honestly. "We got here and the place was trashed, and she...she was passed out on the couch. When I woke her up, she just grabbed me and cried. And then she threw up and now my girlfriend's cooking up a storm and I'm gonna make her eat the whole fuckin' thing 'cause she looks like a damn skeleton."

"Shit," he muttered softly. "Is she gonna be okay?"

Lino thought about it for a moment before nodding, even though he knew Juice couldn't see him. "Think so. She's strong. Think she just needs a little help from her friends. Think her being all by herself out here when it all happened really fucked her up. She needs someone to lean on."

"Yeah," he replied a sad note to his voice. "Wish I could be there."

"Dude, you getting us here was more than enough. She'll be thankful to you forever for that. Shit, I'm thankful to you for that. Dunno what would've happened to her if we didn't come over."

Juice let out a long, audible breath. "You think if I called her, she'd answer?"

Lino's thoughts went to Esai. If she was willing to talk to him, then Juice would be a no brainer. "I think it won't hurt to try. Think you bringin' us here will get you major points too."

"That's not why I did it," he replied quickly. "Don't tell her it was me."

"That's dumb."

"I just want her to be okay. She don't need to know. She'll try and pay me back for the tickets, 'n' I don't want that. I owe her so much already. Just wish I could be there," he repeated sadly.

Lino felt for the guy; he kind of wished he was there too. It would've been good for Angela to have another guy she loved taking care of her. Would make Esai less appealing, that's for sure. "Whatever, man. Just call her, okay? 'm sure she'd like to hear from ya."

"Yeah, yeah. I'll do that," he said, sounding a bit distracted. "Will you just...keep me posted? She's gonna tell me she's fine, and I know she's not."

"Yeah, I'll keep you posted. Call her. Seriously, man. She needs you," he pleaded, more for his own selfish reasons than because she really needed Juice. He knew he shouldn't be trying to block Esai. That he should be working to help E especially since he was considering prospecting for the Mayans, but he'd seen how Esai had treated Angela in the past and didn't want her anywhere near the guy. The oven timer went off, and he cursed. "Shit, I gotta finish cooking. I'll talk to you later."

"Thanks for the update. I'ma call her in like an hour. Make sure she eats."

Lino chuckled; he was going to force feed her if he had to. "Will do."

He hung up the phone, grabbing oven mitts and pulling the glass tray out of the oven. It looked and smelled spectacular, he thought with pride. "Ladies! Food!" he called down the hallway.

"Coming!" Vanessa called back. She came into the kitchen quickly, swooping in to put the finishing touches on the enchiladas.

Angela walked in a bit slower. Her hair was shorter than he'd ever seen it before, just a little past her shoulders. Without make up and wearing that gigantic sweatshirt, she looked young, really young and fragile. Her arms were wrapped around herself as if she was trying to give herself a hug. He smiled, hoping it was encouraging. "Looks good, chiqui," he told her, going over to give her a tight hug. "My girl made you look like a million bucks."

He felt her laugh against him, her arms moving to hold him tightly. "Thanks, for everything," she murmured before looking over at Vanessa. "You too, Nessa. This smells...really good."

He winked at his girlfriend as he let Angela go. "We got your back," he assured her. He pointed a finger in Angela's face. "You're doin' the dishes though."

That earned him the smallest hint of a smile from her; the first real one he'd seen since they'd gotten there. She nodded slowly, "Fair enough."

I really enjoyed writing the dynamics between these three. But I think that might be because of Lino.
I hope you guys enjoyed reading it!
Let me know what you think!

~Love Ink