Yay, relatively quick update now we're into Spring Break! Thanks for all the reviews!

In this (longer) chapter, Kitty (predictably) summons Bartimaeus again and talks to him about numerous things (very sad and angsty, although Bart adds a bit of comic relief.) And there's a little surprise for you right at the end…don't peek!

Disclaimer: I don't own most of the characters and settings described here. Please tell me you didn't bother to read this.

You Can't Have Everything

"I don't wanna fall to pieces
I just wanna sit and stare at you.
I don't wanna talk about it.
And I don't want a conversation
I just want to cry in front of you."

- Fall to Pieces (Avril Lavigne)

Two months in the Other Place. Does that seem like a long vacation to you? I don't think so! I mean, you think with me presumably being presumed dead and all, those damn magicians would have the decency not to summon me for a while.

I guess you can't have everything in life. And who would know better then I, Bartimaeus, Sakhr-al-Jinni and N'gorso the Mighty?

Now, what to be, what to be…quite frankly, I really felt like scaring the (insert rude word of your choice) out of somebody. I took my minotaur guise and…altered a few things. Like made fire come out of every available place in its body (okay, not every available place…that would be disgusting.)

I materialized with a howling roar of a north wind in a massive column of fire…not particularly inventive, but hey, I was annoyed. As the smoke, fire, and brimstone cleared, I examined my new master.

It was Kitty.

My entire minotaur guise exploded into thin air; I admit it, I was surprised. And relieved; I actually cared about this girl, believe it or not.

"Erm…hello, Kitty," I said, taking the rather well-known form of an invisible man.

To my disquiet, she did not answer, but simply gazed forlornly into my pentacle. I thought I knew what was behind this; I had seen how close she and Nathaniel had become during our last few hours together, and his sudden death, right when it was all going to be over, must have devastated her. For the first time in a rather long time (a few centuries, at least), I really did not know what to say. Luckily, she responded before I had to find something witty to say.

"You're alive." Her voice was hollow and dead-sounding, not at all as I remembered it. Looking at her more closely, she was really barely at all how I remembered her; her grey-streaked hair hung limp, her face was pale and drawn as Nathaniel's, and her eyes were shadowed where once they had burned with the spark of revolution. It saddened me to see her like this; it was almost, for me, liking losing her myself, as I had lost Ptolemy and Nathaniel. I moved the conversation along in the safest way I could imagine.

"How long has it been?"

"Two months." Every word seemed to cause her pain, her expression frozen like that of someone who is about to cry. Kitty did not, however.

"Erm…should I say sorry, to start?"

Unfortunately, this was a bad decision. Her eyes snapped to attention as a fierce tirade leapt out from her broken mind.

"Sorry?"

I stayed silent and invisible.

"Sorry? You lied to me, both of you! You said you would get out all right. You said I couldn't come because I wouldn't be protected. You said the Amulet wouldn't help you. You promised me you'd see me outside when it was all over…and then, the building explodes behind me the second I walk out! You broke every promise you made to me. I've had to live with his death. And now you're sorry?"

Did I tell you about the part where I really didn't know what to say?

What bothered me the most was that, unlike what is normally shown in dramatic epic tales like this one, the protagonist (Kitty) did not drop to her knees and sob her brains out until she felt rather light-headed and, for the most part, dehydrated; on the contrary, she stood stock still and seemed to just shrink into herself. I had another go.

"Yes," I said quietly from behind my disguise. "I am."

Kitty felt a mingled sense of dread as she spoke the well-remembered that would call Bartimaeus from his home. What if the dream was wrong and he had been killed with Nathaniel? Or worse, what if he were alive but angry with her for putting him in that situation?

When the djinni materialized in the circle opposite, her relief was so great her knees almost felt weak, as if they wanted her to fall to pieces and cry out. But her cold self-restraint, built up after weeks of hiding from her own grief, held her in, and she did not cry in front of Bartimaeus.

He spoke, and every word struck her as a pang of sadness. But it was his apology that struck a chord within her. She hated herself for doing it, but something erupted within her in that moment and every hateful, hopeless thought she had endured for the past two months came tumbling out in a rush.
"Sorry? Sorry? You lied to me, both of you! You said you would get out all right. You said I couldn't come because I wouldn't be protected. You said the Amulet wouldn't help you. You promised me you'd see me outside when it was all over…and then, the building explodes behind me the second I walk out! You broke every promise you made to me. I've had to live with his death. And now you're sorry?"

"Yes," the djinni replied in sombre tones. "I am."

Kitty felt drained and empty. All that mattered now was that she keep on talking, because she had to know, it was the only way to fill the gaping chasm inside of her. She collected herself again and looked Bartimaeus in the eye.

"Is it true then?" she asked him, her fingertips shaking slightly. "He saved you?"

The djinni seemed to freeze (it was rather hard to tell, as he was invisible); then, slowly, deliberately, he spoke in ringing tones Kitty had only heard once before.

"How do you know about that?" The voice sent shivers up her spine, but she ploughed forward. This was as much her business as his, not like Ptolemy.

"Tell me if it's true." Her tones matched his, and her eyes never left the shadowy mist that seemed to be gathering around the djinni's invisible form.

A sound that could have been a sigh erupted from the circle.

"It is true." No extras, no dramatics. It was plain and simple, and it made her breath catch in her chest. "He dismissed me -"

"- about ten seconds before his death. I know."

There was another brief pause.

"How in the devil's name would you know that?"

Kitty hesitated, but Bartimaeus was someone she would have to trust.

"I'm – not entirely sure," she said slowly, carefully. "Strange things have been happening…"

"Meaning?"

"Bartimaeus…I'm having visions."

The djinni slowly materialized into Ptolemy's form. His brow was furrowed, his expression surprised.

"You've been having what?"

"Visions, Bartimaeus! I see things every night, and now they're popping up during the day, too…they're all about him…"

"Nathaniel?"

Kitty winced. There were reasons she didn't say his name aloud anymore!

"Yes. And sometimes – sometimes I know they're real. That's how I knew you were alive…"

Bartimaeus regarded her with some concern.

"Do they – do they hurt you, these visions?"

Kitty stared at him. It was almost as though he knew…

"They do," she said quietly. "Is that bad?"

"I'm not sure…" Ptolemy scratched his head. "The only place that any sentient being or spirit should be able to see the past, present, or future is…well…the Other Place."

"Yes, I saw."

"So, perhaps this is another side effect of your journey there."

"But what has that got to do with – him?"

"I honestly don't know, maybe – Kitty?"

His cry meant nothing to her as the fog closed in and she toppled sideways out of her circle.

Visions. One thing I have next to zero experience in. If it had been anyone else asking me questions about them, I would have blown a nice, large raspberry, but in this case I didn't think it would be the ideal thing to do.

And then what does Kitty give me…some experience! One minute she was standing there, next she's sort of crumpled to the floor (outside the pentacle…that's a long way to fall), breaking the summoning incantations and releasing me out of the circle. Which was lucky, because otherwise I couldn't have got to her very fast.

I laid one of Ptolemy's dark, long-fingered hands on her cheek; she was cold, but I could tell she was still breathing. I was disturbed to see her eyes rolling in her head behind her flickering eyelids, as if she were living in a nightmare.

I shook her so hard her teeth rattled in her head; hoping I hadn't hurt Kitty, I sat back and waited. Within moments, her eyelids fluttered back open. She looked rather astonished to be on the floor; then she moaned and sat up with her head between her knees.

"So, was that it?" I said conversationally.

She winced and looked up, squinting at me. I grew more serious.

"What did you see?"

Bartimaeus was gone, dismissed as she had seen before, but Kitty could still see Nathaniel as he fell to is knees. The Staff exploded as Nouda bore down upon him, black tentacles whirling in anger…

But wait…what was happening? The world suddenly seemed to move slower…Nathaniel's head jerked up towards Nouda even as the roof above them shattered into a million shards of glass and iron. The great entity reached for him, green fire erupting from its outstretched extremity…

Then, with a sound not unlike that of the popping cork of a champagne bottle, it made contact, and the two of them disappeared into thin air even as death rained down upon them. Nathaniel did not have time to cry out before he was pulled away…

Someone was shaking her…the pain behind her eyes was getting worse…

Kitty opened her eyes and sat up, putting her head between her knees. What the hell was this all about? Nathaniel was dead, she knew that…and yet…

"What did you see?" The djinni's obvious question…

"I haven't the slightest idea…"

Two Months Earlier…

Nathaniel's eyes fluttered open. Every inch of him burned as though he had passed through the very flames of hell...but why was he awake? The Staff had exploded, and Nouda…

He sat up slowly, gazing around him in horror. This was not Earth…could it possibly be the Other Place? Why did he have the feeling he had been here before? No, he said, no, this can't be happening…please just let it all be over…

But it wasn't over.

Cliffhanger! Hooray! All the characters have entered the story! So…is Nathaniel alive? Can you possibly guess where he is? Update coming ASAP!