Disclaimer: I own nothing but my own OCs and storylines…

She Will Be Loved

Chapter 25: Wishful Thinking

By Love Ink

Juice carried his laundry basket on his hip, grimacing at the dust covering his pants and shirts. His clothes were filthy with dirt and grime from the open road, and he was stoked to get out of it and wash all of it.

He hadn't seen Angela when he got to the house, and the car she'd been driving wasn't in the driveway; so he assumed she was still at work. He hoped he'd be able to throw a load of laundry into the wash and shower before she got back.

As he walked into the small laundry room he ran face first straight into something lacy. The lace fell from whatever it was hanging on into his basket. His eyes widened when he realized what it was, an electric blue lace 'cheekie' panty from like the ones he'd seen in Angela's Victoria's Secret catalog. He looked up from the basket and dropped it in shock at the sight before him. Panties. Panties and bras of all colors, fabrics, and cuts hanging from clothing lines attached to the walls like party decorations. "Holy shit," he breathed, staring entranced at the pretty colors before him, the blue underwear still in his hand.

"Juice?" Angela's voice came from behind him.

He jumped, instinctively shoving the lace panty in his hand into his pocket before whirling around. "Oh um...hey," he stuttered out, feeling his cheeks heat up in a blush.

She looked from his face to the garments hanging behind him. "Oh shit. Sorry about all this," she said without an ounce of embarrassment. She walked in and started pulling them down, throwing them into the basket she already had in there. "I didn't know when you'd be home, and I spend too much money on these babies to throw 'em in the dryer and have 'em get all messed up."

Babies. She called the panties, babies. Because she loved them. Just like he did. He blinked at her, trying to process it all. Angela had the kind of panties he fantasized about girls wearing, ones he'd fantasized about her wearing. "Oh yeah, um...no problem. Just...had my run clothes to...wash," he managed to get out, hoping he sounded somewhat normal.

"I'll get these out of your way then," she said, giving him a smile.

Juice nodded dumbly, trying to ignore the way he could see her dark red lace bra through her tight white tank top. "Don't worry about it. If they're still like...wet," he said, his voice catching on the word. Wet panties. Angela's wet panties. He felt himself start to get hard at the idea of it. Jesus Christ, he had to think of something else or he was going to seriously embarrass himself. He moved the basket in front of his crotch, hoping to hide the situation quickly escalating in his pants. "Um...you can just leave 'em."

She shrugged a shoulder, testing one in her hands. "Think they're good, thanks," she said folding a pair of boyshorts. "How was your run?"

He turned away from her, opening the washer and positioning himself in front of it as he tried to hide his crotch from her and think of anything else but her panties. "Oh um...good," he said, separating his whites, darks, and colors into the hamper with the three separate dividers Angela had bought him. "Was a good run. Fuckin' hot out in Arizona. Lots of sand and shit. SAMTAZ brothers are kinda crazy."

"Bet the girls are hot too," she chimed in, lifting herself up to sit on the dryer beside him.

Not like you and those panties, he wanted to say. "Yeah," he said on a laugh instead. "Literally. It's like a billion degrees over there."

"You get it in?"

Juice just about choked on his spit. "Holy shit, Ang. What kind of a question is that?"

She shrugged a shoulder nonchalantly. "We're friends. Just want to make sure you're taken care of."

"I'm fine, thank you," he said, furrowing his brows in confusion. Was she implying she had? Was she really with Esai that night they'd talked? Was that why she'd hung up so quickly? "Why? Did you?"

She shrugged again, hopping down from the dryer and patting his shoulder. "Don't worry about it, goof. Go shower. Then, movie night."

Juice barely heard her response, his eyes on her ass as she walked away. He tried to picture her wearing the panties that matched the red bra he'd gotten a peek of. He could only imagine how great they looked on her, clinging to her perfectly round ass that he loved. An ass he'd wanted to grab since the first time he'd seen her. "Shit," he breathed, shaking his head as he tried to rid himself of those thoughts. Dumping the rest of his darks in the wash, he started the cycle before heading off to his bathroom for a cold shower.

He showered quickly and changed into something more comfortable. Smiling when the smell of popcorn wafted towards him from the kitchen. He wondered what she had planned for them. "Somethin' smells good," he said, watching her as she moved around the kitchen. The urge to move closer and wrap his arms around her from behind was strong, but he held back; he didn't want to creep her out.

She turned around, giving him a bright smile. "Popcorn with M&Ms and black and white cookies," she told him, an excited glint to her brown eyes. "Been messin' with the recipe for awhile 'n' I think I got 'em right."

He grabbed one from a plate she had waiting for him on the counter. Taking a big bite, he groaned at the taste of it. "Almost tastes like Mr. Z's at the diner," he said around his mouthful.

Angela's smile faded a little as she nodded. "Yeah, I um...she actually gave me the recipe before I left," she said, looking down at her hands. "She found my address and hand delivered it since I...I couldn't go to that diner anymore."

He'd done it again. Brought up the stupid diner where she had been the day Raj died. Where she'd watched him get hit by a car. How dumb could he be? "Oh shit. I'm sorry, Angel. I didn't mean..."

"Don't be sorry, goof," she insisted softly, a sad look in her eyes. "We had a lot of good times there. I don't blame you for going back to those memories. I just...can't. Not yet."

Juice wanted to hug her then. Pull her into his arms and just hold her until all that sadness went away. "I get it. I'm sorry."

She smacked his arm playfully. "Stop it. You got nothin' to be sorry for," she said on a smile. "I feel like I have this weird like injury that's slowly healing and if I move or think the wrong way, it pulls at this stupid scab and it stings."

"You're not supposed to be fully healed, Ang. I don't expect that. And you can always talk to me. I mean, I knew him too. I'm here for you."

"Thanks, goof," she said, stepping in closer and moving her arms around him in the way he'd wanted to do to her. It took a minute, but he wrapped his arms around her, holding her close. He could feel her warmth through his t-shirt, smell her shampoo. Every part of her seemed to fit naturally against him like she was made just for him. Little sparks of electricity seemed to flow between them, igniting his blood and kicking up his heartbeat. Holding her felt good. Felt right. He held on a beat too long, and she gently unwrapped herself from him, giving him a shy smile. "Sorry. I...I needed that."

He smiled back, feeling his cheeks heat up in a blush. "Don't be sorry. Happy to be of service," he said on a breath before cringing. "Aaand that came out...real weird."

Angela laughed, shaking her head at him before turning to the kitchen counter. "Don't worry about it," she said, shrugging it off. "Grab that plate of cookies and let's see what we can find to watch."

Juice did as he was told, secretly hoping she'd fall asleep cuddle against him again. That maybe this could be the turning point in their relationship. Maybe it was early enough to make her forget all about whatever she had going on with the Mayan and choose him instead.

Angela still felt butterflies fluttering in her stomach long after she'd pulled away from Juice's embrace. Being in his arms had felt so good. Everything about it, from the warmth of his skin, to the steady beat of his heart, to the smell of his soap and cologne had been comforting to her. It'd felt healing in a way Esai's hugs didn't. Being in Juice's arms felt like coming home, and she'd savored every minute of it. It'd taken all of her strength to pull away from him. It'd been wrong to hug him in the first place, but she'd just felt so...sad and hurt and he was so sweet she just wanted...wanted some kind of human contact without that person wanting something back from her. Esai was there for her, comforting and kind, but he always sought something from her afterward. Usually sex. Sometimes it felt like his love had conditions to it, which made her feel a little dirty. Juice's hug was different. He held her tightly, his hands staying where they were without roaming to her ass or under her shirt. Just held her until she decided to pull away.

And now, he was sitting on the other side of the small couch, close enough that if she shifted positions, she'd end up leaning against his chest again. His hand was resting on the couch between them, tan lines left behind by the rings he wore visible on his fingers. He'd taken them off to shower and obviously hadn't put them back on. He hadn't worn rings in New York. That was a SAMCRO thing, she thought with a frown. She wondered how it would feel if she took his hand. What he would do. How he would react. Wondered if her fingers would fit between his better than they did between Esai's.

God, she had to stop doing that. Stop comparing the two. She'd committed to Esai now. Nothing could ever happen between her and Juice without some serious consequences. She knew that. Knew Esai would use his place in the club to lash out at the Sons should she ever leave him for Juice. It was a dangerous situation and doing anything with Juice would be playing with fire.

Still, that little nagging voice in her head kept asking her 'what if'. What if she'd given Juice a chance like Rosa had said? Would she be cuddled against him now, her head against his chest, listening to his heartbeat as his arm moved around her waist? She found herself shifting a bit, moving closer just to see what he would do.

And then his phone went off. Mid-movie. Loud and obnoxious. She grimaced moving back to her original position while he cursed under his breath. Digging into his pocket, he pulled out the burner and answered it. "Yeah?"

Angela couldn't hear who was on the other line or what they were saying, but she could tell by the way Juice's body tensed, the way his face had fallen that it wasn't good. She paused the movie, watching him. He was staring straight ahead, jaw clenched, before he nodded slowly. "Okay. I'll be right there," he said then closed the little black burner with a snap.

Her heart sank. "You gotta go."

"I'm sorry, Angel," he replied, a pained look on his face. "There's some club shit, and they need me so..."

"You gotta go," she repeated, shrugging a shoulder. This was painfully familiar from all the years she spent with Raj, but this time, thinking of Raj didn't make her sad, it made her angry. "So go."

Juice got up, looking down at her. "Angel, I..."

"Juice, you're the prospect. You gotta go. So leave already," she ground out, staring straight at the TV instead of at him, silently fuming. "I'll tell you how it ends."

"Angel, I don't want to go, y'know. If I wasn't..."

"I get it. You need to go," she said, hating the way the words seemed to get caught in her throat. God, she was an emotional mess. Juice nodded, going to grab his cut off the hook in his bedroom. He came back out with his cut on, knife hanging off his belt, gold rings shining on his fingers. Just looking at him pissed her off, though she had no right to be angry; he wasn't hers. He had every right to leave to be with his club. He hesitated at her side for a moment before she shook her head. "Just go."

Juice nodded solemnly, grabbing his keys and heading to the door. He paused there, looking back at her with a sad look in his eyes. "I'm...I'm gonna be back soon, I hope. We can finish this then?"

Angela tried for a smile as she nodded. "Okay. Be safe."

"Thanks," he said before disappearing out the door.

She leaned back against the couch, letting out a long breath. The same feeling she used to felt when Raj ditched her swirled around in her head. She felt sick to her stomach, pissed off, and frustrated. Maybe this was why Esai was better for her than Juice. He wasn't quite so much at the club's beck and call. He had more say in where he went and when. He wouldn't leave her like Raj had...like Juice just did. Maybe it was fate that things with Juice hadn't worked out. She wasn't ready to be left alone like she had been with Raj. She wasn't strong enough for that yet. She needed someone she could rely on, someone who'd be there for her no matter what. Not someone who would up and leave her the second their club called.

She watched the movie for a little longer before her own phone went off. She reached for it, smiling at the name on the caller ID. Esai. "Hey you," she greeted, stretching out on the couch. "What's goin' on?"

"Just checkin' in, chiqui," he replied on a sigh. "Miss you."

She smirked, rolling her eyes a bit at him. "It's only been a few hours, E."

He chuckled softly. "Been waitin' years on you, so me missin' you is standard."

Angela felt her heart warm. Sometimes, when he wanted, he could really be sweet. "Oh wow. Listen to that line. I'm a lucky girl."

"Very lucky," he agreed on a rough chuckle that gave her chills. "Where you at?"

"Where do you think?"

"In Charming. With that Son?" he spat out, clearly bitter about it.

Angela smirked, playing idly with the edge of her blanket. "He's not here right now. Had club shit to do."

"Come over then. Mama made flan, and she gave me a whole one to take home," he said, trying to entice her to make the drive over to him. "Plus, there's a party goin' down at the clubhouse."

She stared at the coffee table, at the full bowl of popcorn, Juice's half-full beer bottle. She had a good feeling he wasn't going to come back any time soon and Dia's flan was amazing. The dessert alone would be worth the drive, but she also kind of wanted to be with Esai. Wanted to feel special, important. Esai would do that. "Yeah. Give me a minute to change, and I'll be right there."

When Juice got home, Angela was gone. He cursed to himself as he walked around the empty house, checking to see if there was any indication of where she'd gone. Her room was a mess. Clothes on the bed, the ground, everywhere. Heels were littered haphazardly in front of her full length mirror. Her clean clothes basket was in the corner, her panties spilling out of it. Wherever she'd gone, she'd tried a few outfits before going. Her perfume was stronger than normal, meaning she'd just put some on before leaving. He had a sinking feeling she'd gone to Oakland to be with her "friends".

Frowning, he pulled out his phone and shot a quick text off to her that read, "Home. Where u at?"

Twenty minutes later, she replied, "Out in Oakland wit friends. C u tomorrow."

Juice ran a hand over his head, slowly walking back to the living room. She'd left everything out the way it had been when he left as if she'd been waiting for him to get back home. He wondered how long she'd been waiting for him before she'd given up. Sitting down heavily on the couch, he tilted his head back against the headrest, his mind way too loud. Was she with the Mayan now? Did he get to watch a movie with her instead? Were they cuddled on the couch now? Was he holding her hand like he so desperately wanted to?

"Shit," he murmured, pinching the bridge of his nose. How had he screwed this up so badly?

Maybe...maybe she was with friends, though. Maybe she went to Rosa's house and they were partying it up. Painting each other's nails and doing girly shit like his sister used to do with her friends when they were younger. He knew Angela loved doing those masks and getting her nails done. Maybe...maybe that's what she was doing. He let out a long sigh; he liked that idea a hell of a lot more than the alternative. It was wishful thinking, but he was going to hold onto it until proven otherwise.

The first part of this chapter was one of the first things I wrote when coming up with this AU, and it inspired the rest of the story.
Anyways, let me know what you think!

For those that read "Overexposed", I swear it'll be updated soon! Just trying to find a good way to finish the chapter and I'm a little stuck. 😬

~Love Ink