I'm not going to mess with a disclaimer; you know I own nothing, not even my soul. Cloud is actually back and surprisingly happy. But even then he still rants. PS3 still hasn't come out, and Advent Children turned out to be only a DVD. But who gives a damn? It's ranting time!

Cloud's Rant 3: Sixty.

"Magically I return!" Cloud said triumphantly as he walked onto the stage and sat down.

"Did you use Materia or a card?" A mutilated audience member asked as his skin was pealing nonstop.

"You….. Why aren't you dead…?" Cloud murmured staring done the person that was clearly in the shadow of the worlds love.

"I… have… LIFE INSURANCE!"

"No!" Cloud thought about it, "but behold, I will not harm you today. I honor the tradition of being nice during the holiday months and I am in a good mood." He sipped a little bit of his coffee. "Damn this is some good coffee." He took a big gulp… "HAVE YOU PLAYED THE X-BOX 360! IT'S GRAPHICS ARE AWWWWWSUUUUM!" Cloud coughed. "Sorry 'bout that. If the 360 is this good... I can't wait for the PlayStation 3. X-box should have waited, yes they did get a jump on the holidays... but when PS3 and N:R come out, I'm guessing that they will come at the same time... those n00b Microsoft boobs don't honor tradition,"

"I resent that." Master Chief said crossing his arms.

"they will be the new hype, and the 360 will lose its heat. I'm not too sure about the Revolution, but I know that the PS3 will destroy the 360. The PS3 is like wine, the later you take it out the better it will taste... or maybe its not like wine, you should open it as soon as you get it and start gaming... and it might not taste that succulent. But Dead or Alive 4 will kick major ass."

"Amen to that brother!"

"Um yeah…" Cloud smiled, "That game makes me rethink my Square Soft contract..."

"Me too."

"Auron! Is that you?"

"Uh, Yes, I think it is…" He asked a half drunken Kairi that was sitting next to him if he was really Auron. She nodded. "Yup. It's me Auron!"

"Nice to have you." Cloud continued "but I'm sure the PS3 will break out another half a dozen Final Fantasy games; which I mostly will star in or at least appear in. And most likely will also have a Kingdom Hearts 3 which I will appear in" He shuddered.

"Is it true Vincent will be getting his own game?" a curious fan girl in the audience asked.

"Are you a Micro-Spy?" Cloud said pulling out a Summon Materia.

"No, No I just want to know! Is my Vinnie gonna have his own game?" The crazy fan wailed.

"Oh…" He slid the Materia back into his pocket, "soon, soon, my precious" He turned back to the fan girl, "Yes. He is. But don't call him 'Vinnie' or 'My Vinnie'. He wouldn't like that, plus he'd rather feast upon your eternal soul then go out with you." Cloud sneered.

There was an awkward silence until someone appeared behind them. "Don't put words into my mouth Cloud…" Vincent said calmly as he walked up next to them. "I like to say things myself you know." Vincent turned to the fan girl and stared at her with dark heartless eyes. "I would rather drain you of you bodily fluids and feast upon your eternal soul, then even think about you, let alone go out with you."

"Nice touch." Cloud grinned

"Thank you. And for all of you who want to know about my new game… use the internet like everyone else, but check your source and make sure it's reliable. But don't trust that Blazing Fool fellow, he knows nothing of Sony, just… Nintendo…" Vincent turned and his cape fluttered, then he left the stage.

"But…. But…" the fan girl started tearing up.

"Oh don't worry about him, he hasn't been the same with women since the love of his life left him for some crack pot and became the mother of the most evilest evil of evilness." Cloud then got a devious idea. "Or… he really likes you and can't express the undying love and affection he has for you…"

"Really?" The girl cheered up a little. "OH VINNIE-POO!" She got up and ran towards the direction that Vincent had gone.

"Now that that's over… Lets go back to the subject of new video game consoles. That Nintendo Revolution is Nintendo's last chance to clinch on to their video game glory. And with the 360 already kicking so much ass, will the 'revolution' really begin?"

"I think-a the Revolution will kick-a your ass!" said someone in the
audience.

"Is that you, Mario?" screamed Cloud.

"Nooooo..." said Mario as he slowly slid out of the room...

"Ok… what ever… also, Nintendo already clashed with Sony recently with their DS. Sony's PSP blew the DS away. Will this happen again? Or will Nintendo come back and blow the repetitive yet still catchy Play Station 3 out of the water?"

"Why are we talking about consoles? Don't you rant about Kingdom Hearts?" The burned audience member asked.

"I will answer your question with one of my own… Do you see this huge ass sword with various powerful master Materia?" the person nodded slowly. "Ok then, that's your answer." Cloud turned to the others. "This is called Clouds Rant! I can rant about what I want! Any more questions?" He said glaring at them all. They all shook their heads. "Good."

Off in some random place

"VINNIE-POO!" The fan girl had finally caught up with Vincent.

"Wha... What?" Vincent turned around. "Oh you… didn't I warn you?" Vincent held up a shiny, flashy, bar, thingy. "CHAOS"

"Oh Vinnie… Cloud explained it all. I know how you really feel." She giggled and kissed him on the cheek while he was transforming, which stopped him.

"CLOUD!"

Back on Stage

"Wow, I just got the feeling that an immortal grudge filled with hatred and malice, has just been placed upon me. Oh well. To rap up, the 360 rocks, but PS3 will be much better."

Another foolish audience member stood up. "Did Sony pay you to say that?"

"MIRCO-SPY!" Cloud pulled out the Materia he had been dying to use for a while. "HADES!" The crowd turned into a group of poisoned frogs.

"Rib, Rib Ribbit! (We are frogs! Ah!)" The audience cried in little frogfish voices.

Cloud slowly backed away, and then ran.

Well that's about that. I just like the 360, and can't wait to play the PS3 or Revolution, no matter how much the Revolution's control freaks me out. And for those who haven't played the 360, the controller is smaller, and much easier to use. Please don't write me reviews of doom that flame me to death. My opinion is my opinion, if you wish to express yours, be kind. And Kingdom Hearts 2 is coming very soon to a store near you, unless you live in the middle of no where under a rock. Also thanks for Mario cameo suggestion Blazing Fool… It's about time you give a suggestion that doesn't end in a 5 year hospital stay for me... Other than that, you'll hear from Cloud again everybody… eventually. Peace out.