Disclaimer: I own nothing but my own OCs and storylines…

She Will Be Loved

Chapter 29: Again

By Love Ink

Angela decided to sleep in the back of her car instead of some random corner of the clubhouse. She folded down the back seats of her hatchback, rolled out her sleeping bag, and stretched out in the back. Pulling the hoodie of Juice's sweatshirt she was wearing over her head, she got comfortable and pulled out her cell phone. She texted Esai, holding her breath as she waited for his response. Worry churned at her stomach. It'd been hours since their last text exchange, and from what she gathered, he was doing something incredibly dangerous. She stared at the screen as she waited, thankful she was in the privacy of her car so no one could see her obsessing over the small screen.

She must've fallen asleep at some point because the next thing she knew, there was a knock at the window. She jolted awake, not really surprised to see Juice's face on the other side of the glass. With a groan, she sat up, leaning over to open the door. "What's going on?"

"Shit went down. How good are your nursing skills?" he asked, his voice shaking.

Her heart squeezed in her chest. "What?" she asked, scrambling out of the car.

Juice started walking, and she followed closely after him. "Dunno what the status is or who's hurt," he explained, looking a little paler than usual. "Koz called it in, said he and Hap were whole."

Angela felt sick to her stomach. She had more to lose than just Happy and Koz, but he didn't know that. "O-okay. G-good. Are they coming here?"

"Yeah," he said, holding open the door to the clubhouse to let her in. "Gemma's prepping first aid shit at the table with some of the Croweaters."

He pushed her into the Chapel where Gemma immediately motioned her over. "Come over here, undertaker. You know medical stuff right?"

"I deal with dead people, Gemma," she said as Gemma shoved a box of gloves into her hand.

"Well then you should be real good at sewing people up," Gemma shot back, opening up one of several first aid kits. "Chibs has medical training. Said there's three injured, and a dead Mayan."

Angela froze, a cold chill going down her back. A dead Mayan. Esai. Her heart felt like it was going to burst out of her chest. All of a sudden it became hard to breathe. Esai could be dead. Just like Raj. The idea of losing someone she loved again sent her mind reeling. She pressed a hand to her sternum, trying to regain her breathing, but it was all too much. The room suddenly felt too small. "I gotta...I can't..." She ran out of the room, feeling faint and in desperate need for some air.

"Angel?"

She could barely hear Juice's voice as she pushed her way through the crowd towards the front door. Her hands shook as she pushed it open just as the sound of motorcycles filled the air. She straightened up, desperately searching the crowd as they pulled in. Then she spotted his motorcycle with its ape hangers gleaming in the moonlight.

"Esai," she breathed, getting tunnel vision as she ran to him desperate to touch him, to make sure he was okay. Make sure he was really there and it wasn't some dream. He saw her and immediately swung off his bike, taking off his helmet just in time to catch her as she threw herself at him. His arms wrapped around her, holding her tightly. She pressed her ear to his chest, hating the sob of relief that escaped her hold as she heard his heart beat. He was alive. She hadn't lost him.

His hands smoothed over her hair. "It's okay, chiqui," he assured her, pressing a kiss to her temple and squeezing her tightly. "It's okay, I'm okay."

She pulled back to look at him, her eyes scanning over his face. There was a huge, bleeding gash over his eye, but he was whole. Whole and staring at her with a worried look on his face as if he hadn't been inches from death. As if she hadn't almost lost him. Dipping down, he pressed a kiss to her lips, an assurance that he was okay. His lips were warm and comforting as they moved against her own in that familiar way she'd known since she was fifteen. For that moment, he was all she could think about. She felt tears spill down her face. Tears of relief. He was okay. He was alive. She hadn't lost him.

Juice felt all the air leave his lungs as he watched Angela kiss the Mayan. Watched the Mayan's bruised and battered hands move around her waist, tangle into her hair like he'd done it a thousand times before. Which he probably had, Juice realized, a sense of dread filling him. He'd seen the signs. She'd been coming home late, or not at all, with hickies on her neck, wearing someone else's clothes. When he'd asked her where she was, she always said Oakland as if that explained anything. Except that it did. She'd basically told him she was back with this...this Mayan asshole, and he had been oblivious to it. He'd been so busy prospecting, he'd failed to see what was happening right under his nose. "Holy shit," he breathed, tearing his eyes away from them.

"Gotta be fuckin' kiddin' me," Kozik muttered under his breath.

"The fuck is that?" Happy asked, his whole body tensed in anger. He turned to glare at Juice. "You know about that?"

Juice shook his head quickly. "N-no," he replied, hating the way his voice cracked. "I've been...prospecting, and she's been working, and we...we missed each other." Again, he added in his head. How could he have fucked up his second chance with her?

Kozik shook his head, putting an arm out to hold Happy back. "Can't do shit about it now, bro. We'll fuck up the peace."

"Don't give a shit about the peace," Happy stated, though he didn't fight against Kozik. "This ain't right."

Juice barely heard what they were talking about. He was watching them again. Watching as the Mayan tucked a stray hair behind her ear and kissed her forehead. Watched as she stared up at him with those same loving eyes she'd stared at Raj with. "I'm...I'm gonna go start pourin' beers and shit."

He didn't wait to hear their response as he jogged back towards the clubhouse. His mind was reeling; Angela was with that Mayan again. He'd heard stories about how badly he treated her, about how toxic they were to each other, yet here she was with him again. When had that even happened? How had he not realized it? Why had she hidden it from him? Lied to him?

He felt sick to his stomach as he ran to the bathroom, slamming the door shut behind him and splashing cold water on his face. Lifting his head, he stared at himself in the mirror wondering what the hell had happened. How had he been so oblivious? Taking a deep breath, he dried off his face. He had to get himself together. It wouldn't do for his SAMCRO brothers to see him losing it now. He needed to look strong despite the way he was falling apart inside. He straightened out his cut and headed back out to the clubhouse. It was buzzing with people now. Injured Sons and Mayans alike were seated on couches, laid out on the Redwood table uninjured club members and Croweaters hovering between them doing their best to help out however they could.

Angela was in the corner seated on a coffee table in front of the Mayan, a small first aid kit by her hip. She was deep in concentration, patching up a cut above his eye. The Mayan caught his gaze, a small, cocky smirk turning up the corner of his mouth as he reached out to set a hand on Angela's thigh, a silent claim.

"That was unexpected," Gemma stated from his side.

He grimaced, hanging his head. "She never said anything. Never...she told me she was out with friends...and I...I was never home 'cause of all this prospecting shit," he explained, feeling caught between anger and hurt. "She didn't tell me."

Gemma folded her arms over his chest, looking a little irked herself. "Where the fuck did she meet a Mayan? Thought Hap would've kept her far, far away."

"They grew up together," he said softly. "He's...he's her ex."

"Well...shit. I'm sorry, baby," she murmured, putting a motherly hand on his shoulder. "You two were real cute."

Juice furrowed his brows, shaking his head slowly. He didn't know how to process this. His mind was way too loud. The sight of Angela and Esai kissing kept cycling through his head. He'd been too late. He hated himself just a little then. Hated the club from pulling him away from her. Hated them for making him miss his chance again.

Angela could feel Happy's death glare on her back as she sat patching Esai up. She'd made a terrible mistake when she'd thrown herself at Esai. She should've thought it through, should've stopped herself. But she couldn't. After losing Raj, she'd been so relieved to see Esai alive, to know she hadn't lost him as well, that she'd acted instinctively, revealing their relationship in the worst way possible. Now all of SAMCRO knew, and she had no idea how they'd react. Thankfully, the Mayans and Sons were on good terms...otherwise, she'd be fucked.

Still, she knew a conversation with Happy and Koz was coming. Knew she was about to get an earful from them. And Juice. Her heart clenched in her chest; she hadn't even thought about how he would react.

"Chiqui," Esai's voice drew her from her thoughts. She tensed a bit, meeting his cool blue gaze. To her surprise, he leaned in close and kissed her softly. "Thanks for patchin' me up, mi vida." (My life)

Angela smiled nervously at him and nodded. "Of course," she said, aware of his hand on her thigh, of how overly affectionate he was being. He was staking his claim, and she couldn't blame him for doing so. They were in unfamiliar territory with unfamiliar people; he didn't want people thinking she was free. She finished what she was doing, gathering the used and bloody gauze patches in a gloved hand before stripping them off so the gauze remained contained in the inside-out glove. "I'm gonna go throw this shit away."

"And talk to your primo," Esai said, knowingly, his eyes on something over her shoulder. She followed his gaze to where Happy was staring him down. If looks could kill, Esai would've been vaporized. "You want back up?" (Cousin)

She let out a laugh at the idea of Esai going over there to help her with Happy. Happy would murder him. "No. I'm good, thanks," she told him, kissing him quickly. She stroked a hand over his bruised cheek, feeling a sense of relief when he gave her a little smile. "I'm so glad you're okay. You scared the shit outta me."

"I'm sorry, chiqui, but I'm here. 'm okay," he told her, covering her hand with his own. He brought her fingers to his lips, kissing them softly. "Not goin' anywhere."

"Good," she said, kissing him again before getting to her feet. She walked to the garbage and tossed the gloves in the trash. The second she turned around, Happy and Kozik were in her face. "Oh. Hello."

"We need to talk. Now," Happy growled, grabbing her by the arm and hauling her down the long hallway.

She didn't fight against him, allowing him to drag her back into the gym. He pushed her inside, and she was met with the sight of the mattress she and Juice had fell asleep on. Guilt swirled around in her stomach. If Esai ever found out about that, he'd never let her anywhere near Juice again. She pushed the thought away, knowing she had a bigger fight ahead of her. Turning towards Hap and Kozik, she crossed her arms over her chest, squared her shoulders off, and did her best to look tough while she waited for one of them to start.

"The fuck was that?" Happy asked, incensed.

"What are you thinkin'?" Kozik said at the same time.

Angela clenched her jaw, shrugging a shoulder like a petulant teenager, which only served to piss the two men off more. Happy scowled at her. "How long?"

"Yeah, and what the fuck happened to Juice?" Koz demanded, crossing his arms over his chest. "You're better than this!"

She sighed, losing her composure as she saw the disappointment on their faces. "I dunno. Like a month or two? And Juice...he's all in with the Croweaters now. He doesn't want me. Doesn't want a...a relationship. A-and Esai...he was there! He...he made me feel good."

He snorted, shaking his head. "Fuck that."

"He's an asshole," Happy stated, his disappointed look hurting more than anything. "You're better than him."

Angela shook her head slowly. "Stop saying that!" she snapped, tired of hearing people say she was better than him. They didn't know Esai. Not like she did. Didn't know how he'd made her feel better when it felt like her world was falling apart. "I...I lost Raj, and I...there's this huge hole in my heart, and I...Esai fits. He makes me feel better, and he wasn't perfect before, but he's...it's been four years. He's older now. I'm older now. It's...better."

Kozik's blue eyes softened a bit, and he unfolded his arms. "People don't change, kid. He's good now, but it ain't gonna last long. Then what?"

"Then its over," she said softly, hating that she kind of agreed with him. "That's it. He knows that."

Happy scoffed, a dark look in his eyes. "Ain't that easy. Gonna fuck up shit with the clubs."

"Don't be stupid," she said with a scowl. "Marcus isn't an idiot. He wouldn't let some truce dissolve over something as stupid as his son's relationship."

"He wouldn't, but his kid's a dumbass and might do something to break the truce himself," Kozik pointed out wisely.

Angela felt a sense of dread fill her stomach; she hadn't thought of that. She shook her head stubbornly. "No. No way. Esai's not that dumb."

"Love makes people do stupid shit," the blonde shot back, rubbing at the side of his neck where the name 'Jen' was inked in pretty letters Angela had designed. He'd loved Jen. Had relapsed once because of her, and then she'd wound up dead with a needle in her arm.

Angela played with her ring, looking down at her feet. "I love him. After losing Raj the way I did...Esai makes me feel better. He's familiar and comfortable. I need that right now."

Happy and Kozik exchanged glances before Happy shook his head. "I don't like it. He hurts you, he dies."

Hope bloomed in Angela's chest. That was Happy's roundabout way of saying he didn't approve, but he wasn't going to do anything about it now. That was as good as it was going to get. "Fair enough," she agreed with a smile, standing on her toes to kiss his cheek. "Thanks for understanding. Both of you. I promise, it'll be fine."

Happy kissed her forehead. "Better be. Or he dies," he said before walking away.

Kozik nodded in agreement. "He's not kiddin', kid. This goes south and we're not gonna play nice again."

"Yeah, I get it. But this is gonna work. I promise. It's gonna be fine," she assured him. She just wished she believed it herself. Still there was an ominous feeling she couldn't shake. Something bad was coming. She could feel it.

Angela didn't come home that night. Juice hadn't really expected her to. He'd seen her leave on the back of the Mayan's motorcycle. Watched as she moved her arms around him, kissed his cheek while the Mayan reached back to squeeze her thigh. The sight of it made him ill. He'd gone home that night and lay awake on his bed, staring at the ceiling trying to figure out where he'd gone wrong. How he'd lost her. He wanted to blame it on Jax, and his stupid idea to make her jealous, but deep down, he knew it was his fault. He knew Angela better than that. Knew something like that wouldn't work. Still…he'd been too scared of losing her to go about it the way Chibs had suggested and just tell her up front.

He got out of bed early the next morning feeling like he'd gotten struck by a semi-truck. It took all his strength to drag himself into the kitchen to make breakfast. He heard her car pull into the drive just as he sat down on the couch with his green smoothie. His whole body tensed; he hadn't spoken to her since he'd seen her with the Mayan and had no idea what to say to her.

The door opened, and she walked in looking a little lighter than she had the day before. Probably because her secret was out, and Happy hadn't killed the Mayan on the spot. Hell, from what he'd gathered, she'd barely gotten scolded for it. He hated him for that. Hap should've ended it right then and there. Sent the Mayan running. Angela deserved better.

She stopped when she saw him sitting there, her dark eyes wide as if she hadn't expected him. "Oh. Hi," she greeted awkwardly. Her dark hair was wet, hanging down her shoulders in a messy of half-dried waves. She was wearing the same clothes she'd worn the day before, it seemed. Except for the dark green sweatshirt she had on. Dark green. A Mayan color. As much as he hated to admit it, it looked damn good on her. Though most things did.

"Hey," he replied, his voice sounding rough even to his own ears. She lingered there awkwardly, as if she was unsure of what to say. He hated that. Hated the awkwardness. Things were rarely so strange between them. Clearing his throat, he decided to dive head first into it. "I uh...so you're back with...him."

Angela inhaled sharply and nodded. "Yeah."

"W-when did that happen?"

She looked down at her feet, messing with the ring on her hand. "I um...that night I went to the clubhouse party, and you were...occupied, I um...I went out with Lino and Rosa, and he showed up."

So she had lied to him about the hickey on her neck. He knew it. She hadn't been with just her friends. She'd been with him, and he had done exactly what Juice had wanted to do that night. "And you two hooked up," he said, the words tasting sour in his mouth.

Angela shrugged her shoulders. "I was...hurting and...really drunk and Esai was there, and he's...he's familiar, and it felt good t-to be with someone again. After losing Raj and being alone in New York for...some time, it felt nice to...not be alone."

He grimaced; that could've been him if he hadn't taken Jax's advice. If he'd given her the attention she'd deserved that night. "Thought he treated you like shit."

"We were kids. He was...he was a prospect and wanted to sleep with anything that walked, not be tied down to some teenager. You get it. It's what you're doin' now. I saw you with those sweetbutts," she said, and he thought the smile on her face looked a little sad. "Esai's older now. We both are, and he says he's changed, so I'm giving him another chance."

He would forever regret letting those damn sweetbutts kiss him in front of her. What had he been thinking? He shook his head slowly. "He doesn't deserve another chance, and you deserve better."

"You don't know him," she stated softly. "He...he was there for me after Raj died. We talked...daily, and now...he makes me feel less alone."

Juice clenched his fists in anger; he'd had no idea she'd been talking to Esai while she was still in New York. How had he found out about Raj? Had Lino told him? Why hadn't she mentioned anything to him about chatting up her ex-boyfriend? Did she think he wouldn't care? "Why did you like to me? I asked you about the hickey and you just…"

"I know, I'm sorry, I just…I didn't want anyone to know. I was still figuring out what we were gonna do. Whether it was a hook up or a relationship, and I just…wanted to think about it on my own without people bagging on him," she stated, messing with her ring. "Plus, you saw the way Hap and Koz took it. And if I told you, you might feel obligated to tell them, and I…didn't want to put you in that spot. Didn't think it'd be fair to make you decide."

"Oh," he muttered, hating how right her observation was. How could he be mad at her for lying when she had a reason for it? Happy and Koz had specifically asked him to tell him if he thought she was seeing someone in Oakland, and while he'd suspected something was going on, if he knew for sure, he'd have to tell them. Otherwise, when they found out, his loyalty to the club would be questioned. He wanted to scream now. Tell her how he felt. Tell her how much better he'd treat her. She was right, though; he didn't know Esai. Never even met the guy. Though if the look Esai had given him in the clubhouse was any indication, Esai had known exactly who he was. A sense of sadness filled him; if she was with Esai, he'd probably make her move. He wouldn't want her living with some other dude. He swallowed hard, hanging his head and looking at her out of the corner of his eye. "I um...so are you moving out then?"

Angela's eyes widened, pain crossing her features. "N-no. I mean, I hadn't planned to. I told Esai I wasn't gonna move," she said quickly. "Why? Do...do you want me to?"

That was a flicker of hope. If she was close, maybe he could change her mind. "No! No. Definitely not. I'm...I like having you here."

Her shoulders sagged in relief, and she walked over, sitting down heavily on the couch next to him. "Thank God," she stated on a heavy sigh. "Didn't know what I was gonna do if you wanted me to leave. Oakland is one long ass commute."

Juice wondered if that was the only reason she didn't want to leave. He sort of hoped a part of it was because of him. Because she liked his company. "Yeah, it is," he said on a laugh. "What are your plans for today?"

"Dunno," she sighed, kicking her feet up on the table. "Kind of wanted to go out. Feels like we were on lockdown for forever."

He chuckled, rolling his eyes at her. "Angel, it was one day."

"It was one long ass day," she insisted with a small grin. "C'mon, put a good movie on before the club calls. I need some kind of distraction."

"Okay. Let's see what we can find. Got some smoothie left if you want it."

Angela wrinkled her nose; she never liked his healthy morning smoothies or shakes. "Pass. Had a Pop Tart at..." she stopped herself, her cheeks turning red for a moment. "Yeah, I already ate."

Before she left the Mayan's house, was what she was going to say. Why did she stop herself? "Pop Tart? Gross," he teased, wrinkling his own nose. "Those are bad for you, y'know."

She rolled her eyes at him, smacking his arm. And just like that, they were back to normal again. Teasing each other as if nothing was wrong. As if nothing had changed between them even though it felt like everything had. "Shut up," she said, closing her eyes and tilting her head back against the couch as she yawned. "Just find something good before I fall asleep."

Another hickey was apparent on her neck, and the sight of it made his stomach clench. He wondered if the Mayan asshole was doing it on purpose. If it was a message to him. Stay away. He wasn't going to stay away, though. He was going to keep fighting for her until she pushed him away. Until she told him to stop.

As always, let me know what you think! I love hearing from you!
💙

~Love Ink