Sorry this took such an incredibly long time…I'm glad I'm off school now, these last chapters are coming along really well…I sort of thought them up before I started, which is why I didn't start this story for a little while after my other one. Thanks for all the reviews; I really hope you guys don't hate me after this chapter!

No summary again…it's too climactic. Once again, if you don't understand something say so. Big thanks to all my theorists, your questions shall be answered here!

Choices to Fates (Part 2)

"Teach me to cry!

I know I will have to break…

Help me to cry!

I don't need permission,

But I just can't bring myself back in time…"

- Twisting Again

Kitty ran haphazardly back through the forest. There was no real direction to follow; all she could think about was getting away from it all.

There comes a time in everyone's life when hope shies away from everything, when darkness consumes every part of the day, when there is no love or hate; there is only emptiness, and the helplessness that comes with it. And so she ran, dry-eyed, as far as she could from her hopeless terror. She bit her lip as a cry threatened to escape her; this was no time for pity, only time for escape…for release…which was more than he could ever have. And to think only minutes ago she had been convinced that there was just something they had missed…

Kitty pulled herself to a halt when she nearly into a tree. She buried her face in it, breathing heavily; she was going to break, and there was nothing she could do about it. Kitty would have to leave him here, go back to her old life and just try to forget…

A slight rustle in the leaves above her; Kitty snapped back into herself, realizing what danger she was in. Phasma Mortuus was unpredictable at best; who knew what other creatures she might encounter, alone and unprotected? Thinking of this, Kitty felt in her satchel for her knife. Grasping it firmly, she ran again, adrenaline combining with the panic and shock that had filled her at Nathaniel's words.

More steps behind her…she twisted around suddenly, thrusting out with her knife.

"Aaaah! You had to bring that thing, didn't you?"

"Bartimaeus?" she whispered, relieved. The dark-skinned boy materialized in the shadows behind her, wearing a peeved expression.

"Who else would it be? Listen, Kitty, I just figured out why -"

Kitty practically collapsed onto Ptolemy's thin form, burying her face in the djinni's shoulder as she took deep, steadying breaths. Awkwardly, Bartimaeus patted her on the back.

"Kitty, nice as these public displays of affection are, I -"

"It was all pointless…he doesn't know anything else…I'm going to have to just go home without him…and he's going t-to stay here and go mad…my visions counted for nothing…"

"Kitty." The djinni's voice was stern as he set her back upright on her heels. "You can't let yourself go about this…"

"I try not to!" she cried. "It's not like I'm succumbing to anything…I can't even make myself cry for him…"

"That'll break you eventually, Kitty."

"I know," Kitty said softly. "I try to prolong it…make myself think of other things when I can…but Bartimaeus, I think I love him…"

"Erm…" the djinni looked excessively uncomfortable. "I'm really bad at these pep talk things, and I need to change the subject anyways…could you help me with something?"

Kitty closed her eyes.

"What now?"

"The apocalypse."

She opened them and glared at him.

"If you're just going to make fun of me…"

"No, actually…I don't really know what to do…"

"Join the club," she whispered, twisting her lip.

"Just – just come with me, all right?"

Wordlessly she followed him back to the clearing. At first she couldn't see what was wrong, but then Kitty stopped a small hunched form by one of the trees.

The girl Kathleen.

She was crying, as far as Kitty could see, her tiny body racked with sobs. Kitty suppressed a strangled sort of whimper; the girl expressed her own emotions to a great degree.

"Oh," she said faintly.

"Yeah…"

Kitty stepped forward gingerly toward the little girl and knelt beside her.

"Kathleen?" she began, not entirely sure (like Bartimaeus) what to say. "Um…it's okay, you know…it's okay…"

The little girl turned her tearstained face upward, more tears welling in her green eyes. She extended her hands beseechingly towards Kitty, who hesitated slightly before carefully taking them in her own hands.

Excruciating pain erupted behind her eyelids and she screamed aloud. It was too much…the last thing she heard was Bartimaeus crying out her name before she was met with a white light that surrounded her…

Do not struggle.

I knew Kitty was in for it the moment the little girl touched her hands…but hey, it wasn't my fault! The weird little kid was crying and I have very little experience in that department (childcare is one of the few duties a djinni never has to perform, thank goodness – magicians aren't allowed offspring.) Granted, Kitty probably didn't either – by my calculations she was an only child and had never even had a boyfriend or whatever – but she was better than nothing.

As Kitty's screams pierced the silence of the clearing, I knew the worst was coming. Despite my apparent indifference towards Kathleen in any reader's view, I had thought there was something a little odd about her; how she was just suddenly there, when I knew the demons Nat and I had killed hadn't brought prisoners with them. I could sometimes feel her gaze upon me, almost as if she were searching for something within me; not that I think anything got past my mind's defences; you should know me better than that.

No, there was definitely something odd about Kathleen, but not odd in the way of a marid or an afrit, or even one of the possessed humans we'd destroyed in London. There was just an – otherness about her that was difficult to understand, more like the golem than anything. Something tied to the earth, but also to chaos and the Other Place. It was a strange conundrum that I found difficult to resolve, which is unusual for someone of my near-infinite intellectual capacities.

And now, just as I was about to tell these incredibly clever hypotheses and theories to Kitty, she went and touched the damn kid and got hurt. Well, there's a human for you; never heeding warnings or doing as they're told.

Anyways…when she touched 'Kathleen' something odd happened. She screamed and this white light surrounded them both…for once, I was speechless. Of course, this was contradicted immediately when I called out her name…

There was no response. Either she was unconscious, or else…

Something had her.

Ptolemy sprouted elegant black wings and flew off in search of Nathaniel.

For a moment she thought she was in the Other Place again; then she realized that she was surrounded by light, not a coloured miasma of chaos. She reached and found herself, in all singularity and detachment from the whiteness around her.

Where am I? What is this place?

There was no response immediately, and Kitty began to panic. She needed to get out of here…

I have made this place for my own purposes. It was the voice that had haunted her in her visions. I wished for us to talk in solitude.

But…why am I here, why do we need to talk…where's Kathleen…and Bartimaeus?

And Nathaniel?

Kitty drew back angrily, but the voice came from everywhere and nowhere. There was no escape.

You leave me alone…you brought me here to see him suffer!

She lashed out at the whiteness all around, but contacted with nothing.

Let me out! She cried in her mind voice. You have no right to keep me here!

There was a stirring all around her.

That I will not do. I wish to talk, and only here can we be alone.

Kitty stood very still.

Who are you?

There was a quivering about her, as if in laughter.

Do you really want to know?

Yes. For what other reason would I possibly ask? I want to look upon the creature that has hurt me like you have.

There was another quiver in the light. Kitty screwed her eyes up against the bright pulsations, then opened them wide in astonishment at the figure who stepped forth.

It was Kathleen.

"Nathaniel!" I called. "Nathaniel!"

I spotted him between a couple of trees. He was in a bad way, looking pretty ill and dejected. I chanced a wake-up call.

"Nathaniel, get up! Kitty's gone…"

He raised his head painfully and looked at me through bleary eyes.

"I know, Bartimaeus." He gulped. "I – sent her away when I told her…"

"Stop feeling sorry for yourself. I found her in the woods and brought her back to the clearing, but then…"

"What?" He suddenly seemed a bit more alert.

"She was a bit out of it and all…but the little girl was crying and I didn't know what to do…"

Nathaniel's eyes widened.

"Kathleen? What happened?"

I stared at him. Did he know something about the little girl?

"Kitty touched her hands…and they both disappeared into a white light. I heard her scream, and then nothing."

Nathaniel grasped a tree and tried to pull himself up.

"Something's happened." He said, grimacing with pain.

"Hey, hey, you're in no condition to go anywhere…" I frowned at him. His face was corpse white and he was shaking. "Do you know something about that little girl? Because I need you tell me right now."

Nathaniel raised his head to me, his expression confused.

"I don't know anything definite," he said faintly. "But – Bartimaeus, do you believe in…other powers?"

"Sorry?"

"Not like spirits or even the powers the commoners had…I mean, really, like other powers."

"You don't mean – her visions were caused by -"

"I think I do. I didn't say anything before now, for fear of some sort of reprisals…"

I pulled the poor kid to his feet (a little aggressively, but I was in a hurry) and made a change. The winged horse pawed the ground.

"Get on," I told him. "You're not going to get far like this."

Kathleen? Kitty was confused. How is this possible?

This is simply form I chose to take. Ominously, the voice continued to come from the space and not the girl's mouth. Now, we shall talk.

What ARE you?

A small smile on the girl's face. I have many names, all depending on what you choose to believe.

Some sort of…goddess, perhaps?

If you believe it. I am one of the powers; not a spirit or any other form of magic. I am tied to all the elements, including earth, and I cannot be destroyed. Civilizations have worshipped those like me, in many ways; you may see it as different religions, if you believe in that. But I may go where I choose, on any world. I am not tied to your world or the Other Place.

Then…where did you come from? Kitty's body tensed. What had she done to deserve the attention of the supernatural?

I did come from the Other Place, a region of chaos upon which everything is built. Even the limited minds of humans can be traced back to it…but I cannot be summoned or named, so I retain my power without limits.

Kitty shivered.

What do you want from me? Did you cause my visions?

The girl in front of her shrugged, her green eyes glittering.

When you returned from the Other Place, you were tied to me in no way any other human has been. The only other human to accomplish the journey died too soon afterward to communicate with one like me.

I'm honoured, I'm sure.

You would do well to show more courtesy, human child; I am no spirit, but my power over you is infinite. There was a corresponding pressure on her head. Kitty cried out in pain.

You continue to struggle against your gift. Do you wonder why it hurts you as it does?

Kitty narrowed her eyes.

A GIFT? Is that what you call this? It causes nothing but pain, and suffering…why can't you just let me go on with my life? Why give me something when it has done nothing BUT hurt me?

Even so, it was a gift. It was double-edged due to your own struggles against it.

So I was just supposed to behappy to see Nathaniel every night? To see him die, over and over?

That was for a reason. Since I knew he was alive I was…naturally inclined to bring you to him.

Why? Why should a – a goddess be so concerned about me?

Your sacrifice was great and is well known in all the worlds. As a reward, I have allowed you to change his fate.

Kitty started.

Change it? I can't change it. Nouda made sure of that…wait. She looked at Kathleen. Why can't YOU change it? You're more powerful than any demon!

I am not permitted to act. It is against my nature.

You did act, though! You sent me my visions!

That was a passive act. I cannot actively choose to undo another's choices.

Even when what Nouda did was evil?

Good and evil are only a perspective. It is power that truly matters, and choices that decide all fates.

I don't have power. My visions aren't any kind of power, and resilience won't help me to undo a spell.

You are not here to undo any choice made by another. You are simply here to help your friend make a choice of his own…why do you think the mountain is here?

Just for the hell of it?

Do not use such words lightly. The voice was beginning to fade; Kathleen disappeared into the shadows.

Wait! She cried. I don't know what to do!

Help him make his choice. Then you will no longer need to struggle.

Quite suddenly, the voice was gone, as was the light. Kitty cried out with blackness all around her.

"Kitty! Wake up, please wake up…"

Nathaniel shook Kitty's still form, hoping that she was all right. There was a pulse, which was more than she had had when she had gone to the Other Place…

Kitty cried out suddenly, and opened her eyes to see him.

"Nathaniel?" she whispered.

"Yes, Kitty…" he shuddered suddenly and leaned back against a tree. "Where's Kathleen?"

Kitty sat up very suddenly.

"She's…she's gone?"

"Yeah," Bartimaeus told her. "There was white light all around you…it was a bit creepy, actually…"

"Then it dispersed and you were just lying there…I thought you were…" Nathaniel's voice was fainter than ever. Kitty swallowed hard.

"She was there…in my visions…"

"What was she?" Nathaniel asked.

Kitty shook her head; that information was something she didn't wish to share with anyone.

"She – she said something about a choice…"

"A choice?" said Bartimaeus quizzically. "What kind of choice? Oh, that reminds me…I was trying to tell you earlier…"

"What?"

"The mountain isn't just here for show, Kitty. It's where the spirits go when they want to choose to disappear or wander here forever."

Nathaniel was watching Kitty's face as the djinni spoke, and he saw her eyes widen in sudden comprehension.

Everything suddenly fell into place. The choice…of course! As if a film played in her mind, she recalled Queezle's words not so long ago…

"What choice?" Nathaniel had asked. Always the scholar...

"It's a bit complicated," Queezle had answered, "but as we're practically immortal, we can choose to stay on Phasma Mortuus or to just…disappear. It's a choice between peaceful mortality and forever wandering."

Peaceful mortality...practically immortal...the parallels were almost exact. How had she not seen it before? Nathaniel couldn't die anymore; all he wanted was release. Wasn't that the whole point of making the choice?

But she would lose him. For what other reason had she come to Phasma Mortuus than to get him back, to stay her grief for good? The mere notion of returning now frightened her. But there was little choice; she could help him, or be selfish.

"Nathaniel," Kitty said suddenly. "I know what you have to do to get out of this…"

"I think I know what you're thinking of," he said sadly. "But I don't see how it could possibly work; I'm not a de – spirit, I -"

"We have no proof that it only works for spirits," she said. "Isn't your soul lost as well?"

Bartimaeus remained silent for once, gazing at the two of them.

"The fact remains – the fact remains – Kitty, I'm too scared to do it." Nathaniel's eyes were indeed fearful.

"I'll help you through it," she heard herself say. "You just have to be strong…we both do."

She took a deep breath.

"Nathaniel, we made it through the invasion of the demon's invasion. We weren't afraid then, even though the world could very well have ended that day. We fought through it all, I survived and you ended up here…it's just another step. Confronting death…"

His eyes locked on hers, and she saw a depth of love in them that warmed her.

"Kitty," he said slowly. "It is much easier to confront death when it's for a cause that's more than your own. Back there, with Nouda…I was saving London, and the world, by going to my death. Even with Lovelace, I was doing it for someone else…it masks the consequences. I have nothing here to die for…and I'm frightened."

"Do it for me, then."

"What?" Nathaniel looked surprised.

"Do it for me. Make the choice for me, Nathaniel. I don't want to see you get hurt anymore, and I want to be able to go home knowing that you'll be safe, and happy, and peaceful…" Why did her throat suddenly feel so tight?

"I don't know…"

"I want you to go, now!" Her voice was high and stern. "Do you think I want to go back knowing that you'll suffer for all eternity? Make the damn choice, Nathaniel!"

Kitty bit down on her fist as the tears came at last.

"Kitty…"

She looked furiously up at him, her eyes red with grief.

"You're allowed to cry, Kitty…"

She made no reply, twisting her lip and swiping at her streaming eyes.

"Kitty, look at me." Nathaniel's voice was soft. "I'll do it, Kitty."

"You will?" she whispered.

"Yes, but…Kitty, you have to promise me something…"

"Anything." She felt a weight lifted from her heart; almost, but not quite.

"Take his bottles to the Bottle Depot for him," Bartimaeus interjected. Kitty glared at him, and he slunk back towards the trees as if looking for something.

"Promise me you'll move on, Kitty." She glanced up at him in surprise.

"Move on? What's that supposed to mean?"

"I think you know. But you've got to do it; you're going to break."

"I think that's already happened, thanks." She sniffed and finished wiping her eyes.

Nathaniel's mouth twitched, but he didn't smile. Not that she'd really meant it jokingly. To her surprise, he suddenly reached into his pocket and handed her something.

"Take it," Nathaniel said quietly. She did so; it was a slip of paper. "I think they'll need it…back home."

Kitty didn't look, but slipped it into her pocket, never taking her eyes off his.

"Oi! Over here!" Bartimaeus called to them. "I've found it! Nat, come here…"

The boy turned to the djinni, stumbling over to what appeared to be a large oak tree.

"What is it?" he asked, grimacing in pain.

"Words…for the noble spirits who come here. Written in French, actually; strange choice. Very modern."

Kitty walked over to stand with them. Nathaniel read out the simple inscription in the bark.

"Tenez-vous par ici et dites votre choix. Stand here and state your choice."

"That's easy enough," she whispered. Tears threatened to overcome her again, but she held her emotions in, still as a rock in the high wind instead of a leaf.

"Kitty." She turned at the sound of her name once more, and saw Nathaniel very close to her. He leaned down and kissed her gently; she closed her eyes.

"Thank-you," he whispered. "For – for everything."

A pause.

"I love you, Kitty. I always will."

She and Bartimaeus stepped back from the tree, leaving him to stand beside and utter the words of his choice. A white light, like the one that had enveloped her and Kathleen, blazed from the tree and all about him.

He turned to her at the last minute and smiled as one in peace at last, in final release…

Then he was gone, and she stood once more in a field of white flowers. Far away to the distance, Kitty could almost see the tiny figure of a girl at the foot of a mountain.

Whew! It's finally finished! God, that's the longest chapter I've ever written…seven and a half MW pages! Anyways, hope you liked it and everything…two chapters left! Coming up: Kitty goes home again…