Disclaimer: I own nothing but my own OCs and storylines…

She Will Be Loved

Chapter 31: Let Me

By Love Ink

Juice rode his motorcycle as fast as he could towards Angela's aunt's house. Fear gripped at his heart; he'd heard she'd been attacked, and it'd shaken him to his core. He didn't know what he'd do if he had lost her. He barely had time to dump his helmet onto his motorcycle before he ran up the walk, fumbling with his keys as he went to unlock the door. He finally got it open and remembered to wipe his dirty boots on the doormat before entering as had been drilled in his head the moment he'd moved in. "Hello?" he called out.

"In the kitchen, mijo," Elena called back.

He headed that way, feeling his heart still hammering in his chest. "Where is she? How is she? Is she okay?"

The smallest hint of a smile turned up the corner of Elena's mouth, accentuating her smile lines. She was at the stove as she usually was at that time of the day, stirring a pot of sauce in front of her. "She's in her room," she answered, waving in the general direction of the stairs. "Asleep with the pain meds. Broken clavicle, but she's going to be okay. She protected herself."

Juice let out of breath of relief. Happy had told him the same thing, but it sounded a lot truer coming from Elena. Happy's definition of "okay" was a lot looser than Elena's. "Oh good," he said, kissing her cheek quickly.

"Ese Mayan brought her here, pero he left without even looking back. Just put her in bed and he was gone, just like that," she explained, making a sound of disapproval. "He said he had club business, but if he loves her so much, he should be there for her, no?"

He didn't answer her question, instead choosing to sit in one of the kitchen chairs with a heavy sigh. "Just glad she's okay," he stated on a breath. "I um...Hap sent me over as..."

"Protection. Because he trusts you, right?"

"Guess so. Also...I'm the only prospect SAMCRO has right now, and I guess the Mayans weren't willing to give up one of their guys to sit on her."

Elena shook her head. "That's not the case. I didn't want one of them here. I only trust my Juancito, and so does my son," she said, putting a plate in front of him piled high with food. She patted his head lovingly before sitting beside him. "Eat! You're too skinny."

Juice didn't feel all that hungry; his stomach had been churning ever since he'd heard what happened to Angela. He stared at the food before meeting Elena's dark gaze. Her eyes were the same dark chocolate color as Angela's and held the same kind of warmth and understanding. At the moment, Elena's seemed to see right through him down to his soul. He fidgeted in his seat awkwardly, hesitating as he picked up his fork. "I um...can I go...check on her first? I mean...I know she's asleep and all, but I..."

Elena seemed to melt at his words, and she nodded. "Want to see for yourself. Go. This will be waiting for you when you get back."

"Thanks, Lena," he said, pushing back from the table.

He climbed the stairs slowly so as not to make too much noise since he knew Angela was a light sleeper. His eyes followed the large staged pictures of Angela as a baby and little girl. They tapered off when she passed elementary school, though. He was positive it was because Elena couldn't get her to sit for them anymore. He kind of liked watching her grow up before his eyes. She was a cute kid, all smiles, her dark eyes shining.

He got to the door and hesitated again, pressing his hand against the wood for a moment and taking a deep breath, a little afraid of what he was going to find on the other side of the door. No one had told him how badly she'd been hurt, just that she'd been attacked. He pushed it open gently, taking a step inside. He took a breath of relief. She was still asleep, but she didn't look too bad. Her back was propped up on some pillows, head tilted to the side with her hair in front of it. Her left arm was in a brace, keeping it close to her chest. Bruises were dotted all over her arms in different shapes and sizes. Fingerprints left behind by her attackers. Before he could stop himself, he reached out and brushed the hair out of her face, tucking it behind her ear. She moved her head into his touch, a soft sigh escaping her lips. He smiled a bit at the action, wishing he could lean forward and kiss her, feel her warm skin against his lips. Instead, he grabbed her desk chair, pulling it up beside the bed. He sat down, shoving his hands in his pockets as he did so to help stop himself from touching her again.

He must've fallen asleep because he was woken up with a start to Angela's loud scream of, "Get back! Stop!" Her dark hair was matted to her forehead, brow furrowed as she fought against whoever was in her nightmares.

Juice jumped up, knowing if she started moving, she was going to hurt her already injured arm. "Angel," he said, carefully sitting on the bed. He grabbed her right shoulder, shaking her softly. "Angel, wake up! You're okay!"

Angela came to with a gasp, her dark eyes wide with fear. Her chest was heaving, her good hand grabbing for his shirt as she struggled to catch her breath. "Juice?"

He nodded quickly. "I'm here, Angel. I got you. You're safe, okay?"

"They came after me, and I...I..." A soft sob left her lips, and she leaned into him, her forehead pressed to his shoulder. "I killed them. I'm a monster."

Juice moved his arms around her, smoothing his hand over her hair. "No, no, you're not," he insisted, gently pushing her back so his eyes could meet hers. He framed her face with his hands, brushing tears from her cheeks. "You had to, Angel. You had to or they were gonna kill you! They're the monsters. Not you. Never you."

She grabbed at his wrist with her good hand, holding tightly as she gasped for air. He knew what was happening, had experienced it himself, and he knew exactly what she would do if their roles were switched. "Angel! Look at me!" he exclaimed. Her big dark eyes met his with a wild, terrified gaze. "Breathe. Match me. C'mon. In, out, deep breaths. You're okay."

Angela nodded slowly, her eyes on his lips. She started to match her breathing to his, hiccupping a little bit. Her grip on his wrist loosened, her hand falling into her lap. Finally, her breathing slowed. She closed her eyes, a stray tear falling down her cheek and collecting on Juice's finger. "I'm so-sorry," she said, pulling away from him and swiping at her cheeks.

Juice leaned back, giving her some space. "Nothin' to be sorry for."

She sighed softly as the tension disappeared from her shoulders. "Thank you...for that."

"Don't. You've done it for me. 'bout time I return the favor," he replied, wishing he could brush her hair off her cheek now. Kiss her. Touch her in some way, but she'd pulled away first, and he didn't want to intrude if she wanted space.

She smiled shakily, raking a hand through her hair. "Yeah," she murmured, looking around the room. "Did you...were you sleeping here?"

Juice grimaced, scratching at the back of his neck. "I um...Hap sent me over t-to...take care of you. Apparently your aunt didn't want a Mayan here, 'n' Hap trusts me so...Not that I wouldn't be here anyway. I mean, the second I heard what happened, I was ready to go. "

Angela stared at him in surprise and confusion. "What?"

"Y-yeah. Koz told me what happened, and I asked where you were before he could even finish, and I just...I wanted to make sure you were all right."

"Oh. You didn't have to do that."

Juice looked down at his hands for a moment, feeling a blush creep up his neck. "You're my best friend, Angel. Even if I wasn't sent here to protect you, I'da come to make sure you were all right."

She gave him a small smile before clearing her throat, her fingers picking at her blanket. "How long are you going to be my shadow for?"

"'Til whoever hurt you and their crew isn't a threat anymore."

"Okay," she breathed, bobbing her head. He thought she might protest, but she honestly didn't look that upset. He wondered if it was because she was scared to get hurt again or if it was because he was the one that was going to be watching her. The idea of her wanting him around gave him a secret thrill. She sighed softly, leaning back against the pillows. "I'm hungry."

He chuckled softly at her change of topic. "Think Lena made some ropa vieja for ya."

Angela grinned excitedly, pushing back the covers. She winced a little as she moved, and he grimaced right along with her. "I'm okay, goof," she assured him with a bit of a smile as she awkwardly got to her feet.

He noticed she was still in the same clothes she must've been earlier. Black slack and a tank top he knew she wore underneath whatever fancy blouse or top she wore. Her asshole boyfriend hadn't even bothered to help her change. "You comfortable in that?" he asked, wondering if maybe she hadn't even considered changing.

She looked down at the black slacks and the simple tank top she was wearing and sighed. "Not particularly. I mean my top is fine, but these slacks suck. I don't have other clothes here that aren't from high school though, so..."

Juice went to one of the drawers and pulled out a pair of his sweatpants he'd left behind. "Here," he offered, handing them to her. "Lena made me keep some shit here just in case. Said Hap and Koz have some of their clothes here too, so if you'd rather have somethin' of theirs, I'm sure I can find it."

"Oh. This is fine. Thanks," she said, smiling as she took them. The fingers of the arm in her brace flexed and curled. He loved her hands; he'd never say it out loud, but he did. He didn't know why, but there was something elegant and graceful about them. Her fingernails were painted a dark purple and filed nicely, which only served to make them prettier. He had dreams of having her hands all over his body, her nails raking down his back. He swallowed hard, trying to rid himself of those thoughts before he embarrassed himself.

She hesitated for a moment, struggling one-handedly with the button for a minute before letting out a frustrated huff. "I um...I can't..."

He watched as he gestured to the button of her pants. "What?" he asked dumbly before realizing she couldn't unbutton her pants with her arm in a sling. "Oh. I um...yeah..."

"Just the button, 'cause I can't...really..."

"Yeah, right. Of course. Here...let me." He took a step closer to her, his hands trembling a bit as he carefully undid the button. His knuckles brushed against the soft skin of her stomach as he did so, sending electricity through his fingers. He could see the smallest hint of her lace blue panties peeking out, making his heart race. He wanted to pull down the zipper, taste the skin just above the pretty lace. He swallowed hard, lifting his gaze to Angela. Her cheeks were flushed, her eyes darker than usual. She was close, so close to him if he inclined his head just a bit, their lips would meet.

Her eyes darted to his mouth for a quick second, her own lips separated a bit as if she was anticipating a kiss. His hands settled on her hips, testing, seeing if she'd push him away. She didn't. Their eyes locked on each other. His pulse raced in his chest. God, he wanted to kiss her. Forget about everything that had happened and just finally press his lips to hers.

"Angela!" Elena's voice called up the stairs.

Angela looked away. She laughed, a soft, breathy sound, almost of disbelief. She took a step back and gave him a small smile. "Thanks. I um...I think I can get it from here."

Juice nodded slowly as if in a trance. "Yeah, right. Sure," he said, nodding quickly. "I'm gonna...go...downstairs."

"Yeah...um...th-that sounds like a good idea..." she stammered, her cheeks still pink. "I'll be right there."

He turned around, closing the door behind him. Leaning against the wall, he exhaled a long breath, trying to think of anything but Angela to calm himself down. His heart was still racing, his blood rushing to one part of his anatomy. He walked to the bathroom in the hallway and splashed some cold water on his face. With a sigh, he inhaled sharply, gathered himself together, and headed down the stairs.

Elena was in the kitchen, plating dinner for them. She smiled at him when he walked in, a warm motherly type of smile. "Y? How is she?" (And)

"She um...she's awake and okay," he said with a sigh of relief. "I um...Hap told me 'm supposed to stay here with her or take her home."

"I have a feeling she'll want to be home, mijo. She won't want to be here once her mother gets home anyway," she explained with a heavy sigh. "Sit. Eat. She'll be down in a minute."

Juice nodded, taking a seat at the table and digging in hungrily. After seeing that Angela was okay, his hunger had come back with a vengeance. Angela came down a moment later, moving a little slower than usual. She sat down with a wince, her fingers clenched in a white knuckled fist as she did her best to hide how much pain she was in. "You all right?" he asked, pausing from stuffing his face for a moment.

"Mm-hmm," she said before thanking Elena as she set a plate in front of her.

Elena kissed her temple. "Do you want me to feed you?" she teased Angela, running a hand over her hair lovingly. "I can make little motorcycle sounds like I used to."

Angela scowled, but leaned into her aunt's caresses. "No. My other hand works just fine, thank you."

"No airplanes for my Angelita," Elena explained, winking at Juice. "She was happy to hear the motorcycle sounds because her Papi and Tio Chico rode them."

Angela's cheeks turned the cutest shade of red, which made Juice grin. She stuck her tongue out at him in response, and he chuckled. "That's precious," he teased, wincing when she kicked him underneath the table.

Elena tugged on her hair, making Angela grimace. "Be nice to Juancito," she said moving over to him and patting his shoulder lovingly. "He's your new bodyguard, y espero que lo tratas bien. He's here for you." (And I hope you treat him well)

Juice didn't understand what Elena had told her, but Angela rolled her eyes exaggeratedly. "Siempre lo trato bien. Pero soy demasiado vieja para esto." (I always treat him well. But I'm too old for this)

He clenched his jaw; he had no idea what Angela had said, but the way she said it had set his blood boiling. He grabbed the ice cold beer Elena had set him up with and took a long drink, trying to cool off. Angela and Elena kept going back and forth in Spanish, and he enjoyed every minute of it. He could've sat there forever listening to them and eating Elena's food. It didn't matter that he couldn't understand them, sitting there felt like home.

Angela pushed away from the table, grabbing her finished plate before going to get his. Juice quickly stood. "Stop! I got it, Angel," he said, taking the plate from her and stacking his and Elena's on top of it.

Angela sighed and sat back down, frowning a bit. "I'm not an invalid. I just have a bum arm," she muttered before sighing again. "Do I at least get to go home?"

Juice couldn't help but smile at the way she called his house, the house they shared, home. He loved the sound of that. "Yeah. Just gotta let me follow you there."

"Fine by me," she said on a sigh. She looked at her aunt for a moment. "I um...Tia, can you help me shower first? Think Esai would have an aneurysm if I asked Juice for help."

He almost dropped the plates in his hand at the thought of helping her shower. Thankfully, he made it to the sink in time, turning his back and starting to clean the dishes to hide his blush. Elena chuckled softly. "Of course. I'll help you shower, and then you two can go home. Juancito, why don't you pack some of the leftovers to take back?"

"Will do," he replied, hating the way his words sounded cracked and dry. In his mind, he was in the bathroom with Angela. Carefully stripping off her sweats, working around her brace so he could pull off her tank top, revealing the lacy lingerie he'd caught a glimpse of before. The feel of her warm skin underneath his hands, the soft feel of her pulse beneath his lips as he kissed her neck. He cursed softly under his breath; he had to keep his thoughts clean or he was going to embarrass himself right there in Happy's mother's kitchen.

Angela fell onto the couch with a soft, tired sigh, grateful to be back in Juice's house instead of her Ma and aunt's; she had enough of her aunt worrying over her. She knew it stressed her aunt out unnecessarily, and she was totally capable of taking care of herself. She closed her eyes, tilting her head against the back of the couch. She heard Juice's rough chuckle and tried to ignore the way her heart skipped a beat at the sound. Opening one eye, she saw him standing beside her, arms crossed over his chest. A smile was on his face, but she could see the worry in his eyes. She closed her eyes again. " 'm fine, goofy."

"You're not," he said, and she felt the couch shift as he threw himself down next to her. "You in pain?"

She was sore all over, that was for sure but nothing she couldn't handle. " 'm good. Tired."

"Yet you decided to crash here and not in bed," he pointed out.

She didn't know how he could be so oblivious to some things and so observant to others. In truth, she was scared to go back to sleep. Her sleep had been filled with terrifying nightmares. All she could see was the face of the man she killed, hear the sound he'd made when he took his last breath. She shivered at the thought of it. "Yep."

She head the soft click of a lighter before the smell of weed filled the air. He nudged her uninjured arm gently, and she opened her eyes to find him holding a blunt out to her. "For your head," he explained.

Angela took it from him, taking a long toke. "Thank you," she exhaled, feeling comforted both by the scent and just having Juice close. They passed the joint back and forth a few times, and she found herself relaxing even more. "I didn't go to bed 'cause I keep havin' these nightmares."

"Understandable," he commented, not a hint of judgement in his eyes.

She nodded slowly, fidgeting with her brace a bit. "I've...I've never done anythin' like...that before. I...I know Hap has, and he's good at it, and he taught me how to defend myself so I think he thinks I'm okay, and I'll be fine, but I...I wasn't ready for it...I...it was wrong. How could I do something like that? What kind of person am I?"

Juice was quiet for a long moment before he sighed. "What you did was shitty, and there's no way in hell you coulda ever been prepared for it, but...you weren't wrong, Angel. Even if we reported what you did to the cops, you wouldn't a been in trouble! You were protecting yourself against two huge dudes, who coulda easily killed you."

She shook her head as tears fell down her face. She didn't know what else to say, how to describe how she was feeling. Guilt, sadness, fear, anger...all of it combined was just too much to bear. Her heart hurt, and all she wanted was for it to stop. She wanted a drink, no she needed a drink. Standing, she rushed to the kitchen and grabbed the bottle of tequila she'd stashed in one of the cabinets. There wasn't much left, but it'd do the job. She took a swig of it as she walked back to the living room.

There was a worried, almost nervous expression on his face as he eyed the bottle of tequila. "Angel, you're on pain meds and..."

"It's fine," she cut him off, taking another, longer swig. The alcohol burned her throat, but paired with the pain meds and the weed, she was starting to get one hell of a buzz. She offered him the bottle, trading it for the blunt in his hand. To her surprise, he took the bottle and started chugging it. She smacked his arm. "Juice! Stop! What the hell?"

He finished it off, coughing as he did so, his nose wrinkled in disgust. "Ugh," he said, wiping at his mouth with his arm. "Gross."

Anger flowed through her; he'd known that was the last of the alcohol she had. That the only thing left was beer, which wouldn't do anything unless she drank all of them. "What the hell was that for?"

"Not gonna let you drink yourself half to death again," he answered, burping and grimacing. " 's not the answer. Won't stop the feelings, and mixin' it with the pain meds can kill you, and that's not happenin' on my watch."

She wanted to hate him for that. Wanted to throw the bottle at his head. At the same time, she wanted to hug him close and thank him for taking care of her. For being there. One word made her pause, though. "Again?"

He nodded slowly. "Yeah, again. You did it after Raj, and now you're doin' it again," he said, his words starting to slur a bit. He shook the empty bottle at her. "This ain't gonna fix anythin'."

That didn't make sense. How did he know how bad she'd been after she'd lost Raj? He hadn't been there, and she doubted Ham had been so dramatic as to tell him she was drinking herself half to death. Who had told him? "How do you know about that?" she asked, her brows furrowed together.

"I dunno. Ham told Hap 'n' Koz 'n' they told me," he explained on a shrug.

He was lying. Angela could tell by the way the tips of his ears had gone pink, and he was refusing to look at her. She hit his arm. "Juice, what aren't you telling me?"

Juice shook his head, his Adam's apple bobbing as he swallowed hard. "Nothin', Ang. Just...want you to take care of yourself," he said softly. His eyes met hers, a worried, almost sad look in them that did funny things to her stomach. "You're my best friend. Don't want you to hurt yourself again 'specially if I can stop you this time."

Angela felt warm and fuzzy all over. She wanted to kiss him, lean over and just tell him how she loved the way he was taking care of her then kiss him until he couldn't breathe. Instead, she leaned over and put her head on his shoulder. "I'm gonna be fine," she murmured, suddenly feeling very tired.

Juice lifted his arm, allowing her to snuggle in a little closer. His fingers tangled into her hair, massaging her scalp, something he'd never done before. It was a soothing feeling, though, and she hoped he never stopped. "Of course you are," he said, his eyelids starting to flag. He mumbled something under his breath, that she didn't quiet catch.

"What?"

"Mm. Nothin'. Just tired, 'n' the tequila's not helpin'," he murmured, rubbing at his face with his other hand. "Pick somethin' to watch."

She sighed softly, grabbing the remote and finding some stupid show on MTV. It didn't matter anyway; Juice was snoring in minutes. She sighed softly, glancing up at him. His head was back, mouth slightly opened. She'd almost kissed him back in her room. The way he'd calmed her down, took care of her, made her feel things she was trying her best to keep at bay. He'd made her feel safe, something she hadn't felt since she'd been attacked. Even Esai hadn't made her feel that way. Esai. He was doing his best, she knew he was, but he was too selfish to be any good at it. Not like Juice. She looked up at him again, knowing she should move, but not really wanting to. She needed sleep and maybe with Juice there, she'd actually be able to. She closed her eyes, enjoying the feeling of safety that come with being near him for a moment as she fell into a peaceful sleep.

Pure fluff and longing. These two are in quiet the dance.
Let me know what our think!

~Love Ink