Disclaimer: I own nothing but my own OCs and storylines…

She Will Be Loved

Chapter 33: Support

By Love Ink

Angela woke up in Esai's bed with his body pressed against her back. She could feel his hard length against her ass, knew he was awake by the way his hand was sliding over her hip and under her t-shirt before it settled on her breast. She'd told him the night before she wasn't going to have sex with him and appeased him by giving him a blow job, which felt more like a chore to her than anything. She didn't mind doing it usually, but for some reason, it felt too forced to be at all enjoyable to her. It'd only been a week since she'd been injured, and she was still hurting. He should've been taking care of her, but he expected her to heal at lightning speed so they could have sex, and he was clearly getting frustrated when he wasn't getting what he wanted.

"E," she murmured, wincing as he massaged her breast. She knew he was trying to turn her on, get her all worked up so she forgot about why she was protesting, but the movement he was doing now, was sending tiny waves of pain up her injured shoulder. She hissed in pain as his massage became firmer. "E, stop it. That hurts."

He pressed his lips to the base of her neck. "What? C'mon, baby. It's your boob, not your shoulder. Think if I go slow, we could work somethin' out in this position."

She sat up, moving away from him. "Dude. No. It hurts. The bone is broken. If I fuck it up, I have to go through surgery, and that's gonna be one long ass recovery!"

He scowled at her, rolling onto his back. "Nah. Take some pain meds, you'll be okay."

"But I could fuck up the bone," she stated, scowling at him. "You really want me out for more time?"

"No, I just want...you. I miss you, and I...need you," he said, reaching out a hand to run over her arm. "C'mon, baby. I'll be careful."

Angela sighed softly, raking her hand through her hair. Her other arm was still in a brace, and she messed with its straps for a moment. "Esai, I can't."

"Fuck, chiqui. Gonna get blue balls over here."

"I went down on you last night. You definitely don't have blue balls, drama king," she said, rolling her eyes at him. In an effort to put some distance between her and him, she got out of bed and headed over to her overnight bag to get changed.

Esai groaned in disappointment, cursing under his breath. "This is some bullshit," he muttered, practically pouting. "Thought havin' a girlfriend was gonna be different."

Angela stared at him in disbelief. He was acting like a child who'd been told he couldn't have his favorite toy. What the hell was wrong with him? "Don't be such a baby. Its two more weeks. You'll be fine."

He grunted in response, still looking upset. "One more week?"

"Two. I'm not risking fuckin' up the healing process and having to get surgery just because you're a horny asshole," she stated, wrinkling her nose at him. Didn't he understand how much surgery would cost? She had a good income and decent health coverage, but she wasn't rich, and she seriously doubted insurance would cover her displacing her already broken clavicle because she chose to have sex when she'd specifically been told not to. "I can't afford surgery right now."

"If it means we can have sex, I'll pay for it," Esai offered on a shrug.

Angela felt her jaw drop in shock. "What?"

"Yeah, I'll pay for your surgery. It's not a big deal. I got the cash."

"If I have surgery, I can't work."

He shrugged again, an almost happy look on his face as if the idea of her not working was appealing to him. "You don't gotta work. I got money, chiqui. I can support us. Then you won't have to live with that asshole anymore. We can find you somewhere close or you can move in with me and you can just hang with my Ma all day. Do whatever she does 'til I get back."

Anger came out of nowhere, overwhelming her. She was frustrated with him, frustrated with her injury, and angry at the world. "Fuck that!" she shouted, hands clenched into fists. "I'm not giving up on a job that I worked my ass off for!"

He chuckled at her. "Worked your ass off," he muttered, shaking his head at her. "That's bull shit. Your primo got you that gig, and you know it."

She wanted to throw something at him. "That's bullshit! I did the schoolwork, I did the apprenticeship, and the sleepless nights. Me."

"And then you came here and the job was handed to you."

"Fuck you, Esai! As if you've had to work hard for anything in your fuckin' life!" she exclaimed before she could stop herself. Grabbing her bag, she shoved her stuff into it and slung it over her shoulder. Raising her chin in the air, she started walking towards the door.

Esai was still stretched out on the bed, acting nonplussed. Of course, he knew he didn't have to work for anything; he was proud of that. Called himself lucky. "Aww, c'mon, chiqui, don't go! I was kiddin'!"

"No, fuck that! You're not, E! I know you're not! You've been wanting me to stop workin' since we got back together and that's bullshit!" she exclaimed, fully angry now. "I'm never going to be some little housewife waiting for you to get home with dinner on the table!"

"What is so wrong with that? That's what my mom does!"

Angela wanted to beat the shit out of him, but she held back, gritting her teeth. "That's great for her! There's nothing wrong with that! But I'm not her. That's not what I want. I told you that," she ground out, hands clenched into fists.

"Yeah? And what about when we got kids? You gonna abandon them to go live with that idiot Son during the week?"

"No! Jesus Christ, E!" she exclaimed, running a hand through her hair. "Who said anythin' about kids, right now? I don't want them any time soon! I just wanna work and enjoy life right now!"

He looked genuinely shocked for a moment. "You don't want kids? What the fuck, Angela?"

Again the urge to throw something at him was strong. "I do! Just not now! Don't you get that?"

"No!" he replied, finally sitting up a though he was going to get out of bed. "You don't want to fuck, you don't want kids, what the fuck do you want? Huh? What do you want from me?"

"A little support would be fuckin' nice!" she shot back, crossing her arm over her chest.

"I can support you your whole life! Get you anything you want! You're just so fuckin' stubborn and you won't fuckin' let me!"

"Fuck you! That's not the support I meant and you know it!"

He frowned at her, shaking his head. "What the hell happened to the old Angelita? You never cared about any of this shit before."

"I was seventeen! Of course I didn't! I didn't know any better! I'm not the same girl anymore, and if that's what you expect, you're in for a rude awakening," she said, opening up the door and walking out. She needed to get the hell out of there before she said something she didn't mean.

"Where the fuck you goin?" he asked on a scowl.

"Home!" she shouted, slamming the bedroom door behind her. She stormed out of the apartment, aware of Esai calling after her. She realized she was running again. The same way she had from Raj when they had last fought. The idea made her feel sick to her stomach, but she didn't turn around. No, she forged forward, angry at him and angry at herself for not being strong enough to fight back against him. She didn't want to, though. Didn't feel strong enough to fight. Her arm hurt and her heart ached. She was tired, and just wanted to go home and sleep.

She knew someone was supposed to follow her to Charming or at least follow her to meet Juice halfway, but she got in her car anyway, pressing on the gas, and speeding towards Charming without a second thought. Tears fell down her cheeks as she drove, but she couldn't quite put her finger on why she was crying. Why she felt an overwhelming sense of being trapped with no means of escape. What the hell was wrong with her?

Angela pulled into the driveway, aware Juice's motorcycle was there as well. He was home. Probably waiting for her phone call so he could meet her. Wiping at her face, she let out a shaky breath before grabbing her bag and heading inside. She made sure to keep her head down as she walked by Juice, who was playing some video game in the living room.

"Angel? Didn't know you were comin' home. Who followed you over?" he asked as she walked in.

"No one," she muttered, not stopping to talk to him and heading straight to her room. She slammed the door closed behind her before sitting down heavily on the bed and letting her head fall into her hand. The movement pulled at her injured arm, and she cursed softly before ripping off the brace, which only agitated the injury more. Fuck that brace. Fuck her stupid arm. Fuck the guy that hit her with that bat. The other guy who'd grabbed her. Everything she was going through was because of those fuckers. At least they were dead now. A soft sob escaped her lips as everything hit her at once. They were dead because of her. The face of the man she killed flashed before her eyes, the feel of his blood, a fine spray covering her arms and face. Blood like Raj's that had covered her hands as she held him on that street in New York, as she silently prayed and begged for him to be okay. He was gone too. His death may as well have been her fault just as much as the unknown man she'd killed. Her heart was racing as she struggled to catch her breath. A sharp, stabbing pain shot through her chest, and she wrapped her arms around herself, to see if she could abate it. She slowly slid to the floor, leaning against the bed as she closed her eyes, willing herself to calm down.

"Angel!" Juice's voice barely cut through her thoughts. She felt his hands on her good shoulder, shaking it slightly. "Hey! Angel! Look at me!"

She opened her eyes to find him crouched in front of her. "G-go..." she was trying to tell tell him to go away, but she was breathing too hard to get any kind of words out.

"No," he replied firmly. "You need to breathe. You're safe. You're okay. Breathe."

She swallowed hard, shaking her head again. She didn't feel safe. She was a killer, and they were after her, and there was nothing she could do to fix that. "I c-c-can't..."

"You can. You're okay. You're having a panic attack, Angel."

A panic attack. Worse than the one she had before. She hadn't even realized it. How had Juice? The thought of it didn't help her, though. How had she become so weak as to let her feelings take over her like this? She was stronger than this! She coughed and gasped as she struggled to catch her breath. Juice moved a hand to the back of her neck, tapping his forehead against hers. "Open your eyes. Look at me, c'mon," Juice urged, his tone calm and reassuring.

She opened her eyes, and his warm chestnut eyes were all she could see. The feel of his forehead pressed to hers was grounding and strangely comforting. His fingers rubbed soothingly up and down the back of her neck. "That's good, Angel. Breathe. Match mine. C'mon. You're okay. I got you."

Angela nodded, exhaling shakily as he did so. She cast her eyes down, seeing the steady rise and fall of his chest and doing her best to match it with her own breathing. Her eyes went to his lips as she felt his breath against her face. She found herself distracted by the shape of his lips, the slight stubble around his mouth. His tongue passed over his lips, and her own lips open in anticipation.

But Juice, ever the gentleman, pulled away and pressed those lips to her forehead, letting them linger for a moment in a kiss that made her heart flip. "How about a distraction?" he said as he pulled away slightly. His hand was still curled around the back of her neck, his thumb brushing over her jaw.

God, she wanted to kiss him. Have him be her distraction. Take her mind off of everything and kiss him until she couldn't breathe anymore. But she couldn't. As mad as she was at Esai, she couldn't do that to him. She swallowed hard and nodded. "Y-yeah. D-distraction's good."

"Okay. Okay! Good! Great!" he exclaimed with a relieved smile. His hand fell away from her neck, and she immediately missed its warmth. He sat back on his heels a bit, brows drawn in concentration. "So...what do you want to do?"

Angela didn't know what to do, but she knew it had to put distance between her and Juice. Raking a shaking hand through her hair, she shrugged. "I dunno."

"Okay, okay. Umm..." It took him a minute before an idea hit him. "Got it! Put your brace back on and we're gonna go for a ride."

She raised an eyebrow at him as she struggled to get her arm back in the brace. "I can't really...ride," she said, fighting the urge to blush as he helped her with her brace, his fingers brushing against the skin of her arm. Even if she could, riding on the back of Juice's motorcycle would be way too intimate. Esai would kill her.

"Shit, right. Okay, a drive. We're gonna go for a drive. Roll the windows down, put the music up, and I'll give you that tour of Charming I've been promisin' you! C'mon!"

His eyes were sparkling with excitement that was contagious. She found herself smiling at him as she slowly got to her feet. She looked down at the sweats and tank top she was wearing. "Maybe I should change?"

"Nah, you're perfect! C'mon!" he said, walking out of the room as he gestured for her to follow.

For some reason the way he called her 'perfect' made her heart sputter. She watched as he grabbed her keys off the table by the door, spinning them around his finger as he walked out of the house.

Juice drove slowly through Charming, pointing different things out to Angela as he went. She was quiet still, fidgeting with her rings, but she seemed a little more relaxed. Definitely better than she had been before. She'd scared the shit out of him when she'd had that panic attack. Thankfully, he was so used to her talking him through his that he'd known exactly what to do. He thought he'd done a decent job of it, too. Had gotten her to stop hyperventilating at least. But there was that one moment when he'd seen her eyes fall to his lips, saw her own lips part as if she was expecting him to close the distance between them. He hadn't, but, man, had he wanted to. It would've been one hell of a way to distract her; but he was pretty sure it would wind up harming their friendship, something he definitely didn't want to do.

He realized after a moment that it'd been awhile since she'd asked any questions. She was quiet. Too quiet. Probably lost in her own thoughts. That wasn't any good. He grabbed his iPod out of his cut, using her tape adapter to plug it into the car and cuing up a song he knew she loved. Before pressing play, he turned up the volume and lowered all of the windows.

She looked surprised for a moment as he pressed on the accelerator. "What the..."

He hit play, glancing at her as the first few notes of "Don't Stop Believing" by Journey filling the car. The smile that spread across her face was stunning. He couldn't help but grin in response. "Just a small town girl," he started singing at her, his smile growing as she laughed at his terribe singing, "Living in a lonely world...C'mon, Angel, sing with me!"

She didn't disappoint, joining with him. Angela wasn't a phenomenal singer, but she could hold a tune. He knew her well enough to know she liked to sing when she was happy, dancing around as she went about her day to whatever music was playing in her head. He hadn't heard her singing or seen her dance since she'd come to California. Not until that moment.

He drove just a little faster, heading for the hills, encouraged by her loud singing and laughter. The song had always reminded him of her. He knew Oakland was no small town now, but when they'd first met, they way she'd talked about it made it seem like it. She was the small town girl, and he was the city boy mentioned in the song. The energy of the song, the feeling of hope that came with it; all of it reminded him of her. He often found himself listening to it when he missed her, imagining her with him, singing along like she was now.

He drove out of town, knowing exactly where he wanted to take her. There was a spot he'd found when he'd been exploring Charming he knew she'd love. He parked just as the song finished, pausing the music before the next song could start. Her dark eyes surveyed the view for a moment. "Where are we?"

"This is my spot," he explained, getting out of the car. He sat on the nose of the car, inhaling deeply. He loved the fresh smell of the eucalyptus trees up there. "Was feelin' a little stir-crazy a couple weeks ago, and I went for a ride and just...ended up here."

"Mmm," she hummed, lifting her face to the sun and enjoying its warmth as she closed her eyes. "It's beautiful."

He couldn't look away from her. The sun brought out the warm tones of her face, made her hair shine. She was beautiful. The view could not compare. "Yeah, real beautiful," he agreed, though he wasn't looking at the view. She opened her eyes, her dark gaze meeting his. He smiled bashfully. "You uh...feeling better?"

She nodded quickly. "So much better. Thank you," she answered, raking a hand through her hair. "Sorry about that. Had a fight with E this morning, and my brain kind of...spun out of control."

"Been there." He kicked at a rock before sighing. He was dying to ask what they'd fought about, but he bit his tongue; if it'd caused her to have a panic attack before, he didn't want to bring it up now when it seemed she was finally doing better. "You don't have to be embarrassed or anythin'. What you went through...I'd be worried if it didn't affect you in some way."

Angela nodded, swallowing hard as she raked her good hand through her hair. "Yeah," she murmured, the fingers of her injured hand moving a bit. He noticed she seemed to do that when she was feeling insecure. "I just want to be done with all of this."

"Just a couple more weeks, Angel. You're almost done. I mean, you got physical therapy today, so that's a big step in the right direction, right?"

She sighed and nodded. "Yeah. Not really looking forward to that."

"You'll be fine. And afterwards, we'll get milkshakes and smoke a blunt," he offered, knowing he said the right thing when she grinned at him in response. "How's that sound?"

She bounced excitedly on her toes as she nodded enthusiastically. "Perfect," she answered, before looking at the view. "Five more minutes?"

"Whatever you want, Angel," he replied on a quick nod. He felt like he'd won the lottery when she tilted her head onto his shoulder and let out a happy sigh. He didn't mind staying five more minutes. Hell, he'd stay five more hours, days even if she let him.

Thanks for reading! Let me know what you think!

~Love Ink