Chapter Eight
Did I disappoint you?
Or let you down?
Should I be feeling guilty?
And let the judge's frown.
Goodbye my Lover – James Blunt
"Are you sure you want to some with me?" Eric asked as he opened the door of the Hummer in the driver's side. I opened my own, climbing in and slamming it behind me. I put my hands on my swollen stomach after fastening my seat belt.
"Of course I am. This is my first time I've been outside the lab in the last few months. I'm surprised I still recognized the Hummer." I snapped. Being eight months pregnant really sucked. I'd been banned from attending crime scenes that were more eventful than someone accidentally borrowing a pencil and not returning it. I'd been couped up in the Trace Lab studying evidence in my reduced work hours. OK I admit I was a little grouchy today. Eric pulled out into the street.
"Soon I'll be too fat to fit into the Hummer." I moaned playfully at Eric, who snorted in return.
"You should of thought about that before you let Speedle knock you up." He laughed. I mock glared at him.
"So crazy Gloria…" I began changing the subject. Eric's eyes hardened.
"Yea, she broke Marisol's car window and stole her purse. That's what I'm returning." He said holding it up for me to see.
"You should be more selective of who you date." I told him. Eric rolled his eyes.
"Oh come on crazy hunting lady…What were you thinking?" I snorted.
"She was hot!" Eric retorted pulling the Hummer to a stop.
"That'll teach you to have sex on the first date." Eric laughed at the statement and pushed open the car door.
"I'm more selective now." He said pointedly. I knew the issues he'd had with Boa Vista and the added stalker were in his mind. I did the same and climbed out of the car, closing the door firmly behind me. I took a deep breath of fresh air before moving towards the boulevard, Eric drew up next to me, carrying Mari's purse in his hands.
"She thought me and Marisol were married." I let out a loud laugh.
"Seriously?" Eric's boyish smile spread across his face as he nodded in reply.
"There's Mari now." I followed Eric's gaze to see Marisol manoeuvring Oliver in his push chair towards us.
"Hey Mari, here's your purse." Eric said reaching out he handed her the purse.
"How are you guys doing? Wow Eva you're glowing, pregnancy really suits you." Marisol said looking me over with a wide smile on her face. My hands went to my stomach.
"I'm looking forward to getting rid of the extra weight." I told her. My eyes went to Oliver in his pushchair, his mouth wrapped around a dummy. You've grown big since I last saw you." I told him with a smile. Ollie's bright blue eyes were on me as his smile grew from behind the shape of his dummy. I turned my head to say something to Eric; his eyes were on the hotel behind us. I followed his gaze.
"Eric?" A loud crack echoed through the air, Eric was clutching his arm suddenly. I twisted towards Oliver and Marisol, moving towards them as Marisol stepped in front of the push chair. A second crack forced me to lunge forward grabbing Oliver out of the push chair. He was wailing now, tears running down his little face. I saw Marisol falling; a red stain began to spread on the front of her snow colored dress. Eric moved quickly beside her, shouting into the radio for back up while clutching his sister's fallen body. A third shot echoed, I ducked shielding Oliver instructively as pain stabbed into the back of my shoulder. I let out a small cry as the impact knocked me forward. I hit the ground my arms still wrapped around Oliver, unable to shield my stomach. Tears fell as Oliver's screams got louder and I felt a sudden twinge of pain in my stomach. I closed my eyes tightly curling up, as between my legs began to grow wet. I lay there for a second, panic overwhelming me, holding Oliver close I felt the blackness begin to take over me, in the end I gave up fighting.
Speedle
Because I saw the end before we'd begun
Yes I saw you were blind and I knew I'd won
I took what's mine by eternal right.
Took your soul out into the night
It maybe over but it wont stop there
I am here for you if you only care
I was sitting in the room with Eva when it happened, the life support machine next to begin to bleep frantically. I raised my head from my clasped hands frozen staring at it in horror.
You touched my heart
You touched my soul
You changed my life and all my goals
And love is blind but that I knew and my heart was blinded by you.
I've kissed your lips and held your hand
Shared your dreams and shared your bed.
I know you well, I know your smell, and I've been addicted to you.
"Eva!" My voice was shaking as I stood up, the door behind me slammed open an army of doctors entering the room pushing past me in order to get to the bed. I found myself standing apart form all the noise and their group. I couldn't move I just stood there staring at her peaceful face. A memory crossed my mind, the one of her this morning lying next to me sleeping. How did we get to this?
Goodbye my lover
Goodbye my friend,
You have been the one
You have been the one for me
Goodbye my lover
Goodbye my friend
You have been the one
You have been the one for me.
"She's crashing; we need to stabilize her now." The doctors were by her side warming up the shock pads. The sight of them was enough to jolt me from the paralysis I had been in.
"Eva! Eva! Don't do this please!" Physical pain wrenched through my heart as I reached out for her hand. A nurse was in front of me holding me back.
"Sir you can't stay in here." She said firmly. I tried to push past her.
"Eva!" The nurse refused to move so did I.
"Sir I need you out now." With her hand on my back, she opened the door forcing me through it and into the corridor. For one stunned second I stood outside the door staring at it in confusion, trying to discover what was happening. She couldn't die. Not now, not after delivering our daughter. I began to feel myself shaking as I slumped backwards, hands over my face against the wall, desperation running through me.
I am a dreamer and when I wake,
You can break my spirit, it's my dreams you take
And as you move on remember me
Remember us and I'll we used to be
Eva had come out of surgery less than thirty minutes ago. They'd preformed surgery to dig the bullet out of her shoulder, and a c-section. She'd given birth to a healthy baby girl. She was a beautiful tiny thing, but the main thing is she was healthy. The only thing I wanted to do was share this with Eva, to show her what we had made. I felt myself slide down the wall, trying to hold back all the feelings that were running through me. I felt ashamed I couldn't even bring myself to look at my daughter right now; I couldn't bear to think about her. Eva's smile haunted my mind as I thought of her reaction our daughter in my head.
I've seen you cry
I've seen you smile
I've watched you sleeping for a while
I'd be the father of your child
I'd spent a life time with you
"Timmy?" I felt the hands being pulled from my face. I blinked back the rising tears in my eyes. Alexx was crouched in front of me, her eyes searching my face. I ran my hand through my hair shaking. I felt myself trying to distance myself from the pain I was feeling. I was going to pull myself together.
I know your fears and you know mine
We've had our doubts but now we're fine
And I love you I swear that's true
I cannot live without you.
"Eva's just crashed." I told her quietly, I stood up, straightening out. I took a deep breath, and folded my arms. My heart was breaking every minute I spent in this damned hospital.
"I need to go. They'll need all hands on deck." Alexx's eyes were on me full of fire. She grabbed my arm as I turned to walk down the corridor.
Goodbye my lover
Goodbye my friend,
You have been the one
You have been the one for me
Goodbye my lover
Goodbye my friend
You have been the one
You have been the one for me.
"Timmy you can't. There is a woman in there that loves you and needs you. There's a little girl down the hall who has no one." She snapped. I waited for the usual numbness to creep into my body, there was nothing. Nothing but the pain inside me.
I felt my dams break, as tears began to slide down my face.
"It's not fair." I choked. "I worked so hard for this, we've been through so much, and she can't leave me alone now. It's not fair." My voice was betraying me and I knew it.
Suddenly I was in Alexx's arms sobbing my heart out into her shoulder.
"I can't do this on my own." I clutched her tightly. My breath evading me as the tears poured out into the fabric of her shirt.
I'm so hollow baby, I'm so hollow,
I'm so, I'm so, I'm so hollow.
I'm so hollow baby.
My head shot up my eyes going to the door of Eva's room as it opened. One of the doctor's stepped out, my face grey and ashen, he looked exhausted and troubled. I felt the breath leave me. The world span as I put my hand out against the wall to steady myself. For a second I couldn't breath. I felt myself choke.
Goodbye my lover
Goodbye my friend,
You have been the one
You have been the one for me
Goodbye my lover
Goodbye my friend
You have been the one
You have been the one for me.
"Mr Speedle?" I closed my eyes blocking him out, but nodding to his words. I felt fresh tears pinpricking in my eyes.
"She's going to live."