Disclaimer: I own nothing but my own OCs and storylines…

She Will Be Loved

Chapter 42: Pep Talk

By Love Ink

Juice hesitated by his bike, glancing over to where Angela was chatting with Jax. Both of them were laughing like old friends, something that annoyed Juice just a little; he didn't want them to be friends. Friends could lead to friends with benefits, which would only turn out badly for him down the line. He didn't want that. Didn't want to lose her again. She caught his glance and waved at him. A cute little wave that made him smile in return. He walked over to them, nodding his greeting to Jax. "What's up, brother?" he asked, looking between them.

"Just assurin' Angie we got her back. Put it to a vote 'n' everythin'. She's gettin' protected 'til we can figure out how to smooth things over with the Niners. So she should stay outta Oakland while we're gone, right?" he explained, his hand falling heavily on Angela's shoulders.

She pushed his hand away, scowling at him. "I'll be fine."

"Says the girl who just got run off the road," Jax stated on a smirk.

"Shut up, Teller," she said, smacking his upper arm with a scowl. "Asshole."

He chuckled. "Seriously though, stay safe. See you later," he said, squeezing her shoulder before heading towards his bike.

Juice watched him walk away, wishing he had something to throw at him. Since when did Jax give a shit about her? Since when did they tease each other and call each other by nicknames. He didn't like that one bit. "You gonna be okay?" he asked, not wanting her to see how annoyed she was.

She rolled her eyes at him. "Yes. 'm only goin' to Oakland for one girl's night, and Lino will be there the whole time."

"Rather you didn't," Juice said, scratching at the back of his neck. "I mean, they could come to our place. It'll be empty."

Angela's face fell a little as she shrugged. "It's um...its Raj's birthday this weekend 'n' I kinda wanted to be...away. From...everything."

"Shit," he muttered, feeling sick to his stomach at the idea of leaving her behind during what he knew was going to be a hard day for her. "I should stay, Angel. We can...we can do a movie night and celebrate."

She smiled sadly at him and shook her head. "That might be even harder, to be honest. You guys were friends. I just need...to be somewhere where I can pretend its just a regular night and get drunk with my girls," she explained. He still didn't like the idea. He knew full well Esai lived in the same building as Rosa and Lino. He wouldn't put it past the Mayan to try something. She seemed to sense what he was thinking and shrugged. "Don't worry so much, Juice. I'll be at Rosa's place. Staying at Rosa's place."

Juice nodded, slowly. "Okay. Just...be safe. Please."

"I will be. Promise," she assured him. Jax called for him, nodding towards the bikes indicating it was time to go. With a small smile, she stood on her toes and kissed his cheek. "Have fun, Juice. You stay safe too."

He swallowed hard, his cheek tingling as she pulled away. "Y-yeah. Totally. I will," he said, lingering just a bit. He didn't want to leave her.

Chibs whistled this time, and he cringed just a bit. With a laugh, she pushed him away gently. "Go! I'll see you in a few days, okay?"

"Right. See you later, Angel," he said, leaning over to kiss her cheek before heading towards his bike. He got on, loving the sound of the engine as he started it, the feel of it between his thighs. The only thing that would make this trip better would be if Angela was riding behind him.

Kozik was proving to be a shitty babysitter. Instead of following her around like Juice did, she was the one on Kozik's schedule. Which mostly meant she was stuck at TM doing absolutely nothing. Most of the time, she was trying to stay out of sight of Gemma; she was a little scared of the matriarch of SAMCRO. She heard the office door swing open and did her best to duck out of view while Kozik chuckled. "Little Miss Undertaker," Gemma called, her glasses sliding down her nose as she looked over them at Angela.

"Shit," she cursed under her breath. She glared at Koz as she straightened up a bit, wiping her hands on the thighs of her jeans. "Oh. Hi Gemma. What's up?"

"You as good at computers as your little boyfriend?" she asked, hands on her hips.

Angela's brows furrowed together for a moment. "He's not my um..." she trailed off at Gemma's hard glare. Blushing, she tucked a stray hair behind her ear. "Definitely not, but I can...try, I guess."

"Good luck," Kozik muttered around a chuckle.

She flipped him off as she followed Gemma into the small office space. "It froze on me," Gemma stated, waving at the ancient desktop modem.

Angela grimaced in response, taking a seat at the computer. She clicked around, frustrated when nothing happened. "I um...I don't know what you want me to do with this."

"Fix it."

"Right," she muttered under her breath. "Were you doing something on here that needed to be saved at all?"

"No."

"Good," she said, leaning over and unplugging the machine before plugging it back in. The computer turned on and went to the loading screen. "Now, we wait."

Gemma sat down on one of the couches with a heavy sigh as she took her glasses off. "How you doin', sweetheart? Heard you were in quite the wreck."

Angela shrugged a shoulder. " 'm fine."

"Are you?" she probed, looking at her with the same motherly expression she'd seen many times on her aunt's face. Angela looked away and shrugged again in response, shifting uncomfortably. Gemma made a soft sound of disagreement. "How are you and the Mayan doin'? Gotta say, you shocked us all with that one."

She clenched her jaw together, wishing the computer would load faster. Juice was supposed to have fixed it! Why was it going so slow? "Oh um...we're...good," she hedged, not about to deep dive into stuff with a lady she barely knew. "It's all good."

Gemma chuckled softly. "That doesn't sound promising. Surprised you're here and not with him since the prospect's away."

She grit her teeth together, hoping for an excuse to get out of there. The way Gemma was fishing for some insight into something that was frankly none of her business was starting to piss her off. "He's busy."

"Too busy for his girl who was just in a car accident?"

Angela's busted knuckles stung as she curled her hand into a fist. "He's got club shit."

"Uh-huh. Sure he does," Gemma replied doubtfully. She leaned forward a little, tilting her head to the side as she surveyed her. "What're you playing at?"

"I'm sorry?" she asked, pulling her brows together in confusion.

Gemma straightened up a bit, crossing one leg over the other. "You got this Mayan and Juice wrapped neatly around your little finger. Time's gonna come where you're gonna have to choose one club over the other, y'know. There's a peace now, but it won't last, eventually you're gonna have to choose a side. This neutral bullshit ain't gonna fly when the bullets start flying."

Angela felt her stomach churn at the idea. She knew Gemma was right in a way. Eventually, she would have to choose between Sons or Mayans, especially if she stayed with Esai. She swallowed hard, trying to play it cool. "Guess I'll worry about it if it gets to that point."

"Oh it will, sweetheart," Gemma assured her, "and one of those boys is going to get hurt protecting you. That something you want?"

The computer came back to life with what Angela believed was the best sound in the world. She pushed out of the chair and gestured to it. "Fixed!" she exclaimed, ignoring Gemma's question. "Should work now. I'm gonna...go bug Koz. See if he wants to get lunch or something."

Gemma didn't look too impressed. She shrugged in differently and nodded towards the door. "You do what you gotta do, undertaker. Just think about what I said."

"Noted!" she exclaimed, already halfway out the door.

She spotted Kozik leaning against his car, an amused look on his face. "How'd that go?" he asked, chuckling softly.

"I need a drink," she said, raking her fingers through her hair.

"That good, huh?"

"Shut up, Kozi," she muttered, smacking his arm. "You done? Can we go now? Please?"

Kozik grinned at her, slinging an arm around her shoulders. "Yeah, kiddo. Let's get some grub."

With a sigh of relief, Angela got into her car and followed Kozik to the little diner in town. She'd bought another car with the insurance money after her accident. The exact same one she had before, and she loved the feel of it. Happy had tried to convince her to go with a classic car, given her shit for getting the little Mazda hatchback again, but she loved the car for what it was. Hers. She'd picked it out and paid for all the upgrades. It was nothing fancy, but it was fast and spacious. She loved it.

She parked it on the street, waiting for Kozik to park his bike behind her. With a sigh, she got out of the car and followed him into one of the small booths in the back of the diner. "So how scary is Mrs. Gemma Teller-Morrow?" he asked with a teasing grin.

"Terrifying," she muttered, looking over the menu.

"Right? She's scared many a Son," he said on a chuckle. He glanced at her hand for a moment, tapping his finger against the bandage." 'ey what happened to your hand?"

Angela stared at the white bandage wrapped around her right hand, remembering the tender way Juice had wrapped it the night before. The way he'd kissed her forehead afterwards, told her he had her back. Butterflies fluttered in her stomach at the memory, though they only served to make her feel a little lonely. "I um...punched a mirror," she replied honestly.

Kozik straightened up a bit, his smile fading and real worry crossing his features. "Why?"

"I got mad," she explained on a shrug. He made a gesture with his hand, indicating her to go on. "I talked to Esai, and I...agreed to give him another chance, and I...got so mad at myself for being so stupid that I punched my mirror."

He swiped a hand over his face, shaking his head at her. "Jesus Christ, kid. Why the hell would you give him another chance?"

" 'cause I love him, Koz. I...he...he makes me feel whole. He made a mistake, and I...I just...he wants me, and he loves me," she explained, messing with her fork. "We never got closure the first time. You and Hap came home and forced me to leave. Yeah, I kinda...went along with it because I knew it was the right thing to do, but it never truly felt like my decision, y'know? This time...this time, I want it all to be my decision."

Kozik sighed heavily, frowning at her. "That's some bullshit. You want to feel wanted? You think if you get all dolled up and go out to any kind of bar, you ain't gonna be wanted by all the men there?" he asked, scoffing slightly. "You're gorgeous, kiddo. That shouldn't be the reason for getting back together with that asshat. As for love...you found it again in Rob, didn't ya? What makes you think you can't find it again...again?"

"Raj," she corrected softly. She clutched the lotus charm around her neck, rubbing it between her fingers as her heart ached. "What if he was my soul mate? W-what if Esai is? I don't want to lose him too and then just be...alone forever."

His warm hand reached out and covered hers, squeezing it softly. "You are not gonna be alone forever. No way, kid. Roy wasn't your soulmate, and I don't think the Mayan is either. Soul-mates...that's an intense kind of love. You wouldn't be doubtin' it. You would know. You wouldn't even contemplate being without them. It would hurt."

Angela wondered if he was thinking about his girlfriend, Jenn. The last "girlfriend" she ever remembered Kozik having, the name tattooed on his neck. The two had been head over heels for each other in a relationship plagued by their drug use. They were great together clean, but they never could stay clean for long. Jenn couldn't shake the habit and died with a needle in her arm. Kozik never touched the stuff again. She didn't dare bring her up now, though; it always made Kozik sad, and she hated it when he was sad. "It does hurt. I miss Raj, and I...as much as E hurt me, I miss him. Miss being held and all the mushy bullshit. Just being loved a-and wanted."

"You're grieving and lonely," he pointed out around a bite of french fry. "But we both know you were thinkin' of breakin' up with Raj 'fore he died, and you had no problem moving on from Esai to him when you first moved, so, no, neither of 'em are your soulmates. You just want a warm body right now. You want to be held, but shit, kid, anyone can do that. You don't gotta be with some asshole."

She stared at her food, feeling a little overwhelmed by Kozik's perspective. It rang a little too true and hurt a lot more than she thought it would. "I dunno, Koz," she murmured softly. "Esai was my first...everything. Being with him is easy."

"That's not a reason to stay."

"Would it be so bad to give him another chance?"

Kozik considered it for a moment before shrugging. "That's something you gotta ask youself, kiddo. Just remember...you're better than him. You deserve better. Don't settle 'cause you're lonely and sad. Won't be worth it in the long run."

"Yeah, maybe," she muttered on a sigh. "Thanks for not bringing up Juice."

"He's a good guy, kid. Cares about you a lot, but I'm not pushin' that. It's not helpin' anyone," he said, leaning back in his seat. "Look, I just want to see you happy. Feels like I haven't seen that in a real long time."

Angela frowned, fidgeting with her ring for a moment. "I don't think I know how to be happy anymore. There's just too much shit in my head."

Kozik made a big show out of rolling his eyes and scoffing. "Oh the drama!" he exclaimed sarcastically. "Clean the shit out and move on. You're better than that!"

" 's one hell of a pep talk, Kozi," she said, taking a long drink of her water.

"It work?"

She shrugged. "Still processing."

"Good. Process that shit. Let it sink in," he stated with a cocky smirk, " 'cause its fuckin' brilliant."

Some Kozik in there for funsies. :)

Hope everyone is staying healthy out there! Thank you for reading!

~Love Ink